thats disappointing but its not the end of the world. maybe he was nervous and couldn't find anything or he planned poorly and waited til the last minute and listened to what other people told him. either way its unfortunate that you are upset. maybe you should tell him to go to that store and get something that he thinks you would like or go there anyway and try to find something you like. i think his idea was not to offend you but to let you decide what you wanted.

I'd say it's forgiveable to tell him, but that doesn't mean I think you should.

What are you keeping up? Are you guys ... forever talking about the gift? (LOL) Is he asking you repeatedly if you like it?

What benefit do you expect to get out of telling him it was an awful gift? If it's for relieving your feelings, keep in mind that you do so at the expense of his and weigh the pros and cons of that. You also run the risk of making him even more insecure next time around and turning gift giving into a chore rather than a joy. If you want to tell him so he doesn't make the same mistake again, there are better ways to do that - such as pointing out things you'd like for Christmas when you're shopping together or even flat out giving them a list.

Some people, simply, are not good gift givers. It doesn't actually speak to knowing you or not knowing you so much as an insecurity when one goes searching and generally being worried about making the wrong decision. (yeah, I sort of know this because I'm not a good gift giver myself. It is especially daunting in the face of having many friends who are AMAZING gift givers and do so for any occasion! It doesn't mean I care for people any less, it's just when I look at things, my mind doesn't run automatically to "oh my god, so and so would love this!" I just haven't got that skill.)

I agree with MissJules. You're acting like it's the end of the world but it's really not. Just because your boyfriend gave you a gift certificate doesn't mean he doesn't "know" you. That's assigning way too much meaning to a small gesture. It's not like you're a vegetarian and he gave you a steak. It's just shopping! Don't make a bigger deal out of this than you have to.

Another few things you should keep in mind:

1) It's your first Christmas together, not your 50th anniversary. Your boyfriend didn't have to go overboard, and he didn't. It's a sign of maturity that he didn't spend extravagantly on a relatively small occasion.
2) Since you've been dating for less than a year, don't expect him to know you 100%. It's not his fault he doesn't know you perfectly yet.
3) You admit that you are a holiday person and Christmas is a big occasion to you. You therefore put in a lot of work and are emotionally invested in the holiday. That doesn't mean your boyfriend is the same. You can't expect him to go overboard on the holidays, or measure up to your expectations, because he's a different person with different traditions.

I think it's mean to tell someone that you don't like their present. He didn't have to get you anything at all, but he spent his money on you and at least he tried. Just be thankful you didn't get peanut butter and apple juice like that one girl. Men are not mind-readers and maybe next time a birthday or holiday rolls around you should point out stuff you wish you had. I think you should try to make the best out of the situation and find something you like at the store. Also, if you tell him you don't like the gift, he is going to be even more nervous next time and will probably get you something worse. Encourage him and show gratitude, but point things out next time so he gets it right.

I'd ask him a question but really polite, like "I don't remember me shopping at this store," or something like that. IDK, I've had some disappointing gifts but it happens.

Disappointing gifts suck, but you just have to let it go. Don't EVER mention to the person that you think their gift was crap.

I went to a lot of effort for my friend's birthday and got her several small gifts. My birthday was a month later and she didn't get me anything. I was kind of annoyed but, I would never say anything to her.

I agree with the others--at least he tried. It's better than getting nothing, right?

I think that the gift certificate was 1000% lame. I mean it takes 0 effort to buy a gift certificate -- and it's not even at a store where she shops. I would be offended. Yes, it kind of is the "thought that counts" but this gift was clearly given without any thought at all.
I really don't think that a gift certificate is appropriate for a couple's first Christmas together, either. He didn't have to go overboard and spend lots of money to get a nice, sweet present.

This all being said, I would probably NOT say anything to him about the lameness of the gift -- this time. If it happens again I definitely would have a conversation about it because everyone wants to feel special nobody wants to think that they are receiving a gift that is simply a "check in the box".

Forgive him, tell him nicely, and then move on. If you don't explain to him then it may happen again for your birthday or Christmas again.

You must stay on a comfortable level with him. Maybe one day if YOU give him something or do something that he feels uncomfortable with, then he should feel comfortable enough after a short while to nicely tell you about it. Again, talk to each other and stay on a comfortable level, never make a moutain out of a mole hill.

Oh, and maybe you could buy something from that store anyway with the certificate, and then return it for the money a few days later.

Yeah I know, it's wrong to do that but at least you'll be able to buy something for yourself with the money.

Well, xmas is a big deal to you, and you go "all out". Maybe he doesn't. Its funny how people say xmas is not about the gifts, then they get soo upset when they get something they dont want.

He probably just didn't know what would make you happy, so he hedged his bets and went with a gift certificate for a new place he probably thought you'd enjoy. It's not a big deal--I got the same thing when my boyfriend and I were first together. He required LOTS of guidance, but eventually he asked for help instead of making a guess. Now we both keep really updated wish lists on Amazon so we at least have some ideas.

Some people just suck at shopping - men, specially! It doesn't mean they don't care about you. Don't be spoiled! Also what khadee said is so true LOL

As Lyv just said, some people (i.e. some men) are just incredibly bad at buying gifts. I mean, the poor kid was probably just clueless and panicked. If I were you, I'd cut him some slack, take him to the store with you, and make a fun experience out of trying to find something there that you like. It will only be more special - like a treasure hunt! Maybe he'll turn out to be a great gift giver in the future, and you guys will laugh about that first horrendous xmas gift. Or he'll be like this forever, and you'll learn to find it endearing.

I totally understand this, im in the same situation.

I gave him a very expensive cel phone wich he totally loves and he gave me a designer bag but..i didnt like it. I mean, Im obsessed with handbags so I understand why he bought me one but its not my style and already have a few of the same color. I feel bad that I didnt like it but I can help it

I havent tell him anything and i dont think I will, im going to keep pretending that I like it just to make him happy he was very excited when he gave it to me.

I agree with the comments about some people just not having the knack of gift shopping. And by and large, many men just don't seem to have the 'gift' gene.

Would you end a relationship with a fantastic guy just because he's not great at buying gifts? I sure wouldn't. And at least he had one for you.

There are women out there who get nothing on holidays or birthdays, so you're ahead of the game there. Use the gift card he gave you to get something you want, then excitedly show him what you got. He may just be one of those guys that will slowly get the hang of buying for you.

I voted Not Forgive-Christmas is about spending time with family and friends and the people you love and care about. It's not about the gifts, and it's not about what you get. He took the time to buy you something, and that's all that matters. I think you're being really petty and not looking at the big picture. You said yourself that you had a nice evening, dinner, sitting by the fire, etc. and yet you're complaining about a gift? You seem like a whiny, petulant child. Grow up.
Maybe he doesn't really know you because you haven't shown your true colors yet?? I would advise keeping your feelings about the gift secret.

I meant Not Forgive you, not him. Sorry, obviously I've had a few too many drinks tonight.

its ok. maybe valentines day u can tell giv clues on wat u would like

Get over it. But I guess not everyone is like me where material gifts are everything. My friend gave me Batman: The Dark Knight, something I wasn't expecting, and I'm not really into keeping dvd movies. But I liked it anyway, but the more important give to me was her. Got to spend my Christmas with her and that's all that mattered. So what if he didn't know what you wanted, and you didn't get what you wanted for that one day. You have him everyday, and there's plenty of chances for him to get you all the things you want. There''s too much emphasis on gift giving when it comes to Christmas. Everyday is a gift, whoever said Christmas gifts should be more important than any other gift anyway?

If this is your first Christmas, he may not have known what to get you whether he knows you well or not. Maybe tha tis why he gave you a gift card...so you could get something yoy really like?

I don't really think I know how you feel though at all...the first Christmas my fiance and i were together, he did the 12 days of Christmas for me...meaning i got a present each day, and they were creative like, 6 pairs of socks on the sixth day of christmas, a cd with 12 songs on the twelfth lol. he topped it off with a butterfly shaped sapphire and dimaond necklace i had been coveting that he wrapped up in what looked like a big case of tic tacs (and it sounded like them too) he always says he doesn't know what to get me, but he always gets me something i love...(or rather, I always love what he gets me because I love him so much). I can't wait for our wedding and to spend our first married chrstmas together next year!!!!

also, as mentioned above, guys don't get women and shopping. drag him along to facorite stores about 2 months before Christmas, and gush over things your eally like. he will pick up on it eventually. my fiance lives in a house with LOTS of women (his sister, her friend, 4 nieces at varying stages of life...child to 20 something) so he has an idea about what needs to be done. hahaha. i am so goofy. just writing this makes me want to go find him and give him a big cuddly hug because he is so thoughtful towards me, and caring. too bda i can't see him until wednesday night

A ski jacket? This man is gay. You have bigger problems than christmas presents..

Eh....you are right Christmas isn't about the frikin gifts. You had a great evening together, he got you something you didn't like...but he tried. So let it go. Why would you go tell him and hurt him? Its not like its a piece of jewllery he expects you to wear every day and its hideous.

Yes, men suck at shopping. Jeez! What is this?

My guy's gift to me was complete sh*t but I love him so whatever.

My boyfriend got me several little gifts for Christmas, all of which I really liked. But he threw in a hideous pair of earrings and I told him honestly that they weren't really my style. He was totally cool with it, wasn't mad at all and we actually laughed about it. In fact he told me later that he was really glad I was so honest with him when I didn't like something because then he could tell that when I said I did like something, I meant it.

I think honest, open communication can only be good for a relationship, provided you both tread carefully around each other's feelings. With time hopefully you'll be comfortable enough around each other that a little playful criticism won't be blown out of proportion.

I think I'm one of the only people who say forgive for not liking it. A GIFT CERTIFICATE?? It's one thing if he put thought into something and you hated it... then I would keep it to myself like Not Princess. But a gift certificate is a COMPLETE cop out. If you're a terrible gift giver, then give me a terrible gift. Anything's better than a gift card, especially if you don't like the store it was bought from. If you can't trade it in for cash like someone else suggested, I'd craigslist it.

I say forgive. My hubby and I always tell each other the truth when it comes to presents!
This year the only thing I told him him were a few hundred "thank you"'s.
One year he bought me a bracelet that was cute but not me and I told him. Yea he was a little disappointed but he'd rather have me wearing something I love than something that's "cute".

I took back every single thing (except one) that my husband got me this year. Gloves that didn't fit, workout gear that didn't fit, and a perfume gift set that upset me, cuz I specifically asked him to pick out a bottle of perfume for me that HE liked the scent of. He has laughed it off and said "I didn't do so hot this year!"
I have a feeling next year he'll return to his thoughtful gift-giving...cuz that's what counts--being able to tell that someone put thought into your gift! Not just a gift certificate to a random store.

at least u got a gift....

Hey, don't feel bad. I'm married and my husband still sucks at gift giving! I'm a big birthday/holiday person and love shopping for people, getting them personal gifts that show that I know them. At this point, I'd be happy for a gift card to my favorite store. Even though he continues to disappoint me in the gift giving department, he's wonderful in so many other ways that I just sigh and move on. Then I buy whatever I like and make myself feel better.

I think if it was so important to you, you should have given him hints on what you wanted (kinda like you noticed him looking at the ski jacket) Guys can't be expected to be able to read our minds especially when it's a new relationship. Granted I think a gift card is a last minute panic gift but like others said at least he got you something.

I would try and trade it in for money, either via the store or a friend/family who does like to shop there.

Next year just make sure you leave hints laying around about what you would like.

MEN ARE FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET! unless your guy falls into the 1% of straight men that actually know how to shop and what you like, they just give you whatever seems good to them. men are like children; you must tell them EXACTLY what you want from them. since october, i've been sending my boyfriend little hints..like emailing him links and when i dragged him to the mall, i would point out things and say "i hope santa brings me that for xmas!"..i also had my best girlfriend call him to help him out. you have to forgive him, but for the next holiday, make sure to give him a little list of things that you do want, even if you have to spell it out for him...it will save you upset and disappointment the next time around!!

Guess I'm that 1% lol...4 years in a row and all my gifts are perfect, even when it's not Christmas (Not sure if that sounds dirty...I don't think?)

i think that it's important to put things into perspective here. if it's the first xmas that you've spent together - then it means that you've probably only been together a year - or less right? that also means that he hasn't had many opportunities to buy a present, to know what you like and what you don't like. my fiance isn't the best at getting me presents cause he doesn't quite know my taste, and we've been together for 2.5 years. just know that guys aren't always the best at gifts,and that girls are typically more thoughtful - so being that way, you just have to deal with it. maybe you can pass along the gift cert. to a friend and then just be done with it. it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you - maybe he just didn't know what specifically to get you and didn't want to guess the wrong sizes or something.

wtf people.... NOT forgive. You don't get your significant other a gift card ON YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS. Plain and simple. Now, don't kick him to the curb but definitely call him out. If he's that insensitive about giving a gift, which is more than just materialistic (showing you spent time shopping and thinking about each other and wanted to surprise the other preson), then who knows what's next down insensitivity road.

I think you should tell him you feel gift cards are a bit impersonal. Say that while you are grateful for him getting you something, please try to put a more personal touch into it next time.