Umm... this situation is his fault, not yours.

A general rule when giving a presentation at work is to shut down all non-work related applications to avoid having this happen.

This was his fault! On my aim at work I have it set-up so 1) IM's never pop up on the screen, 2) IM's never blink in the taskbar, 3) IM's don't even go to the taskbar. Instead, a little icon appears in my systray to let me know I have a new IM then I have to physically click that in order to see my IM.

It is absolutely his fault if he didn't make certain precautions to make sure that this wouldn't happen especially given the consistent content of your messages.

oh wow... if i were you, i would have been chuckling when he was yelling at me. i'm sorry, but why would would he even need to be signed on during a presentation? if he forgot, then it's his fault too. how should you have known?

I agree with lidorothyparker. He should have disabled the chat before giving a presentation!

Agreed. It's not your fault. He should have told you he had a presentation to give. Or he should have disabled his IM. That's rather inconsiderate of him, to blame you for his mistake and take out his frustration on you.

Yeah, how were you supposed to know he was giving a presentation and he didn't shut down his IM app? It's his own fault.

It's pretty crappy that he's directing his frustration at you, too. But as long as he doesn't make a habit of taking things out on you and he realizes his asshat-ness when his head clears a little AND he grovels to get back in your good graces, I guess I can let it slide.

He shouldn't have had the instant messenger service up in the first place. How unprofessional. If i were his boss, i'd fire him.

i went with undecided. he shouldn't forgive you. there's nothing for him to forgive. you should be forgiving or not forgiving him for having a completely irrational response to something that (like everyone else has said) was completely his "fault."

if he doesn't calm down and see this for what it really is, then no. don't forgive him. violently irrational people do not make good partners.

He should have let you know that he was going into a meeting. It was clearly an unprofessional oversight on his part, not yours. I would just ignore the situation since you were not at fault. While you only date, clearly you cannot read his mind.

This is the thing about IMing... if you're signed on, it's fair game to receive an IM (just as when you have your cell phone on, it's fair game to receive a phone call). Don't want to receive an IM or a phone call? Turn it off.

kellys is right... he should be the one asking for forgiveness.

He might also want to consider giving you something shiny in a nice little blue Tiffany's box

I've never IM'ed so I don't exactly know how it works. But it sounds like it was his fault, he should keep business and personal things separate. It would have been acceptable if he had been at his desk. So it's his fault. And I agree that HE should be the one apologizing.

I always turn off my IM when I'm giving a presentation at work. It's just common sense. He is being unreasonable.

What idiot keeps his AIM on when he is doing a presentation at WORK?

He should have turned his IM client off before hooking it up to the projector. Jeez.

I don't know what upsets me more about this post - the fact that he blamed you for something that was completely this fault, or that you seriously think YOU're the one who has to hope for forgiveness. :/

None of what happened was your fault. He's the douche who left his AIM up. He should be asking you to forgive him.

Totally his fault. Disabling the IM is a no-brainer, for starters. And secondly, you and he have a habit of naughty IMing so how should you know you shouldn't do it just then?

But moving forward? If I were you, I'd cool it with the naughty stuff at work. It seems harmless until it crops up at the wrong time. There's a time and place for everything, and the sexual stuff doesn't belong in the office.

I agree with everyone else. I understand his embarrassment, but it's through no fault of yours. Hopefully, he learnt his lesson for next time and signs off Instant Messenger before his next presentation.

I agree with everyone else...it's his fault not yours. I understand that he was embarassed by it but he has no one to blame but himself. It isn't like you were purposely trying to embarass him! The title shouldn't be "I embarassed by bf at work" it should be "Help! My bf is trying to blame his problems on me".

Lmfao! that is hillarious!! Oh man. Yes you can be forgiven. Nothing really to forgive. He should've simply logged out. Duh

He's just so embarrassed he's turning it against you. He'll laugh about it soon - and hopefully apologize!

There's nothing to forgive like everyone else said, but here's a tip to avoid this kind of thing in the future (I always use it). When you're trying to IM your boyfriend something personal, always start off with a 'hi' and PRESS ENTER. Then, type whatever you want and press enter again. That way, the window to pop up on his screen won't contain anything explicit. If he wants to read more, he can click the conversation window, which he obviously won't do if he's in a presentation or otherwise in a public situation. He should've logged off though!

Since you guys are in the habit of IM-ing, he should have been aware that you might shoot him an IM during his presentation, and either turned off his IM client or warned you not to IM him during the meeting. This is his fault, not yours.

I agree, this was his fault, not yours. He shouldn't have had his IM program open. And if he had to for some odd reason, he should have specifically warned you. He uses IM for racy conversations with you, so he should have been prepared. It's not like you did this out of the blue. A lot of people have bad habits with IM though. Like they'll leave it on while another person is using the computer. I always am pretty cautious because of this and start off any private conversation in a casual way with "hi, how are you?" etc. This gives them time to minimize the window if needed or say "brb my sister is here" or "this isn't so-and-so, it's his friend". In the future, you could probably try this method to avoid problems, but it is really is his responsibility to not have it opened in the first place. He should be angry with himself, not you.

This is his stupid fault, not yours! He's just looking to scapegoat you for his own stupidity.

He should be the one apologising, not you. A golden rule of thumb is to close down all non-work related applications before going into a presentation! I thought this was OBVIOUS.

It made him look unprofessional because he's probably not supposed to have them open during work hours.

I say forgive because you're both stupid for doing it. First of, in most cases, business computer activity is monitored over the network. Second off, both of you enabled it, thirdly, if during a presentation, he should have realized this could have happened, should have had the im service off anyway, in case someone would im him and interrupt the presentation, it's like turning off your ringer or phone during a meeting, it's rude and his own fault. It's like trying to blame someone for calling you during a vital meeting, but you're too dumb to turn off your sexy ringtone because you're too caught up in wanting everyone to hear your ringer (seems like no one uses vibrate or silent mode these days, or even living a minute without being on the cell phone). Forgive, he needs to get over it, and realize it's his own stupid fault and move on. He can be pissed all he wants but he's to blame. Don't even let it get to you. And for future references, when at work, keep it professional. Office romance has too many problems. Went through this plenty of times, and had to say "this is neither the time nor the place" because of a stupid tiff. Actually got called into the bosses office once because of this crap. When at work focus on work, keep it professional, and watch what you do. We're all pansies whether or not we think we're special or the bosses pal. Lucky you two didn't get canned for this.

What idiot keeps his AIM on when he is doing a presentation at WORK?

What idiot Im's at work in general? I hate to say this, but was it so hard to just text? Geez, what a thought! Tell him to stop directing the blame outward, you, get a hobby.

This is totally his fault. What moron keeps personal applications going when they're making a work presentation??

Agreed with the other ladies. You're not at fault at all, he's embarrassed and tried to blame it on you. If he can't laugh it off eventually, it's his loss not yours.

This was his stupidity, maybe you can forgive him for that.

well - as much as it sucks - he's partly to blame.

#1 rule of presentations - if you're using your computer - disable IM and make sure that your wallpaper/screen saver are nothing personal. that's the first thing that you're taught when you're giving a presentation. besides he should have told you that he was going into a presentation ....so you can't feel so bad about it.

If I were you I would probably stick to text messaging to avoid something like this from happening again. But it is def not YOUR fault.

Don't feel bad...HE made a mistake and he is the one that should be asking for forgiveness....not from you, but from his coworkers! And THEN he needs to apologize for being a d*bag!!

Lyv is completely right! I'm a little bothered that you think you need to ask for forgiveness. It's absolutely his fault, anyone who can't see that is ridiculous. While I think IMing racy things utilizing work computers is inappropriate, it's not your fault at all.

He is not being paid to f*ck around. You wouldn't call repeatedly throughout the day just to see "What are you doing" "I wish you were home" "Click on the link, it's so funny!"

It is disrespectful to go around your employers back by chatting online about non work related stuff. Just because people can't overhear you, it doesn't excuse using your/their time inappropriately.

I'm not trying to be a nazi here. BUT, would you want to your employee pay for time spent sending raunchy love notes or taking myspace quizzes?! I think not.

How the hell were you supposed to know that he was givin a presentation? That sounds like a screw up on his end. Of course you can be forgiven, just give him a few days.

who has their IM on during a presentation!!! and if this is something that the both of you regularly he would have liked on some other day if the week...HIS FAULT.

His fault. HE should be asking for forgiveness

Okay so, I think this is a fake post because I've read this story many times before, but anyway I'll give my response. First off, it is his fault, not yours, in my opinion. He should have had the common sense to shut off the IM and any other personal things he had going on BEFORE the presentation.

In response to some other comments above.. someone or a few people mentioned they should "both" be fired..but it doesn't say anywhere that they work together. In fact, it doesn't say she was at work at all.

And to the person who said "myspace surveys" and that.. sorry but I don't see a harmless "hey hows work?" im the same way as wasting an hour with "whats your moms name? what did you eat for breakfast?" myspace surveys. It's not like they were having a lengthy conversation that was taking away from his work time. It's the same thing as getting or sending a text during work.

So, I put forgive. Although this isn't the poster's fault at all.

This exact post has been on here before...

Muirena that's what i thought too..I though I have seen this post on Group Therapy or Confessions..only it was a guy someone had a crush on ..and not a bf?

If it is a seperate case...the lesson for all..send those naughty things via txt msg..and turn off IM during presentations!

Uh, it was HIS fault keeping his IM open while he was doing a presentation! ANYONE could have messaged him and said something potentially embarrassing.

Wow, it's pretty stupid to keep your instant messenger on when you give a presentation he should get over himself, I'm sure next week this'll be just one more funny story in the office hehe

His fault - and he should get over it by playing the remorseful stud at work. Not every guy is lucky enough to get a girl sending him explicit messages on IM.

Definately his fault, he should have shut down IM. The nerve to blame you!

I want to know who said "Not forgive"? She didn't do anything wrong. He should have logged out of IM before his presentation!

She should be forgiven since both of them engage in IM's on a regular basis at work. However, it's dumb to exchange private conversations on public computers that you know other people can get access to.

Forgive! You had no malicious intent when you sent that IM.

Hahaha - I wonder what your message was. But yeah, it's his fault for not turning IM off. I quickly log off whenever my boss is around just in case he comes up to me and wants me to show him something on my computer. You would think he'd know better!

It's his fault, if he was giving a presentation he should have any personal forms of communication shut down.

You had no way of knowing where or what he was doing at work at that exact moment.