Jesus...what are the chances of her being your roomate? Ouch. Anyway, I chose not to forgive, for obvious reasons. Do you think that if you sleep with him, it'll convince him to break up with his girlfriend? What do you think will happen once she finds out that you're dating him next? Or worse, what do you think will happen when she finds out you're sleeping with him? I say it that way because you will eventually be caught.

There are many more men out there that would be more than willing to be with you...don't settle for this player. Love triangles always end badly anyway...just look at that astronaut chick!

In my opinion this guy is stringing you along. If he really wanted you the first time you told him "I have broken up with my boyfriend," he would have broken up with her and why would you have moved in with her (or have her move in with you)? To be closer to him? Not forgive....

i don't care what sort of history you have with this guy, the fact that you hooked up with the boyfriend of someone who is sorta close to you makes your act unforgivable. you keep trying to excuse your actions, acting all innocent and sorry. but if you were really sorry, you wouldn't have done it the second time. believe me, i've been there and done that, and you don't do it multiple times when you truly feel sorry. you're looking for attention.

I think your roommate is just an escape for him towards the hope of getting over you. I should warn you of eer getting together with him since he is your ex's friend and men feel usually red light about dating their male freinds ex girlfriends...

man o man.. I don't even know where to begin.. I hate cheaters but everyone makes mistakes.. I just don't get how you can live with her everyday , I mean if you sleep soundly while you know you are doing her b.f,, wow what kind of person does that..

thats too sad to be judgmental about. i feel bad for everyone involved.

Not forgiveable, and you two shouldn't be together anyway - he's a cheater and you're a cheater. How could the two of you ever trust each other. I suggest moving out and don't ever see or speak to him again. It will be difficult at first but it will get easier with time and you will eventually get over him. There is someone better out there for you.

start over and move out-hopefully, you learned a hard lesson and will get on with your life to someone who deserves you and that hoepfully you will deserve after you learn to value yourself more! Ok-no more mom lectures. good luck

Move out and find new people to hang out with. He is terrible and you are so confused by this mess. I don't think you should wait for him to leave her for you cause he probably won't. I think you should just pack your things and move out (if possible). If you aren't in a position to do that "BREAK IT OFF" with this boy and STOP hanging out with him and his girlfriend. FIND YOURSELF some new friends. What you are doing is almost unforgivable. You are disappointing yourself and as a friend you are terrible.

By the way it is your JOB (or DUTY) if you like to find new people to hang out with. Leave them alone! Most importantly LEAVE HER ALONE.

I put undecided, because I don't think that there is much that is unforgivable. But girlfriend, you are guilty as sin here and need to do some soul searching--FAR FAR AWAY from these two. first step, find a new damn roommate. i mean honestly, what were you thinking there?? these things don't just "happen" like "oh, look, wow, there's a girl living here suddenly!" you obviously had a hand in this, and i strongly suspect that your motives were not pure. second, stop trying to excuse your behavior. remember that you are the only one in the situation whose behavior you can control, and act accordingly. with that in mind, third, break off ALL contact with these two. as andaman said, leave them alone. you've done enough. fourth, think long and hard about what you've done and figure out a way to never do it again. fifth, come to terms with the fact that he doesn't want you. at all. sure, he sleeps with you once in a while, but he's not changing a damn thing about his life--you're just providing a little sweetness on the side.

last, and most importantly, once you understand what your true motivations are here, and the problems you have caused yourself and could have caused for others, forgive yourself. everyone makes mistakes--sometimes they make them twice. the only important thing now is that you STOP and make it right again, no matter how much it hurts. (please realize that this does not, in any way, entail telling the girlfriend what you've been doing. that's his job and his karma, and i don't care how guilty you feel, keep your mouth shut). once you do that, my button would switch from undecided to forgivable. I apologize for the harshness of my response, but it sounds like you need a swift kick in the ass. No offense.

good luck, my dear.

xoxoxo onesong.

Wow, I think you should just get yourself out of that mess and start your life fresh again.

1) How did you even come to live with her?

But I digress, move out and move on. But should you feel guilty? Hmm... people may kill me for saying this but you had him first. But it's time to let go. SPend sometime by yourself, flirt and date have fun! Don't stress over him even if they do break up don't look for that to be your sign to be with him chill out!

All I have to say is that Karma is a hideous b*tch goddess. You need to get yourself out of this situation because you're only going to hurt yourself and the ones you love.

Sounds like you need to spend a little alone time and not be in a relationship for a while.

Gee, how much manipulating did it take for his new girlfriend to end up being your roommate?? And how low are you to sleep with your roommate's boyfriend?? I say not forgivable because even though you haven't said as much, it sounds like you've been very calculating in this situation.

I agree with andaman. Remove yourself from this situation, make some new friends, find a new guy.

Honey... you need to move out.
You can always move away and start over, yeah know? There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with running away from this one and starting a new.

Good luck!

if he hasnt broken up wit her to be wit u.. do u really think this guy is worth it? sounds like he's jus playin u & that roommate along for the ride.. i hope things work out for u

He sounds like an ass if you ask me... he's enjoying you while he's enjoying her... yes it's a mess... but if you can build up some strength and just tell him no next time... you love him yea but it don't sound like he loves you back because if he did he wouldn't be with her, he'd be with you instead... love is give and take... it goes both ways, not one... he don't know how much you're worth then find someone who knows that the true value in you is priceless... that's love....

Sweetie,

Your life is NOT a mess.

It's only a mess if you made it to be.

I agree with the one that he's stringing you along if he's cheated on his gf with you twice. I'm more forgiving, as in, I'm not putting the blame all on you. He's got some blame in this too for cheating and stringing you along.

You're in an "emotional" phase, I can understand that you may decide to just turn your back on what is considered to be moral codes. You sound pretty dramatic, there's a possibility you're into "drama" although subconsciously.

Be mindful that this is NOT GOOD for you especially. For your roomie because she's in a relationship with a man who's "torn" (kind of--he still chose her over you).

And for him..although frankly, physically he's got the benefit (he gets to have sexual relationship with both of you), but emotionally, if he's got some tiny bit of conscience, this may bug him.

My suggestion is MOVE OUT. MOVE OUT. Find another roomie, preferrably one who doesn't have anything to do with this boy and the roomie.

Go ahead and get some therapy as well if you can afford it, or join a support group or some sort. I'm sure you can do it.

Good luck!

girl, move out! remove yourself from this situation. make amends to the people who you need to and move on. it's only going to get worse. and i hope this is a lesson for the future...what goes around comes around.

wtf? wouldn't it just be easier to watch a soap opera?

move on. he clearly enjoys the thrill of forbidden fruit. move on and move out! distance yourself from the situation. time to start fresh and learn from the mistakes.

i think you just need to break ties with all of them (with or without them knowing the truth- it doesnt matter)... get a fresh clean start.

The sad things is it's really not fair to your roommate. He's is NOT the kind of person you want to be with but you are too close to the situation to see that now. You will over time....you need to get the heck away from him and don't look back. You will NEVER trust him so don't go there. It's just a heart ache waiting to happen.

have to agree with everyone here --- situation is way too complicated. You need to take a step back (and step out of it) before you can figure things out.

You've gotta stop sleeping with this guy...he's taken, he chose someone else. Move out of the apartment and if you're on a lease get a sub-letter to take your place.
What reason does this guy have to break up with his girlfriend? Right now he has her AND you on the side (both in one convenient location!!)
Even if you move out and he becomes single, I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Do you really want a guy who lies and cheats? If you get in a relationship with him he'll play you the same way.

If he knows that you are living with his girlfriend, and he's letting it happen, he's either not interested in you anymore, or leading you on. So either way, you should move out, and move on. Good luck.

I can see it from your point of view, but I can also imagine that I was the girlfriend and my friend was sleeping with my boyfriend..my heart would break. I guess.. not forgive.

good grief girl. and u r still HERE ?!?!?!?
first thing i sugest you should do is GET OUT OF THAT ROOM. Find yourself a new roommate. and dont wait for him. he probably is leading you on. it will only lead you to disappointment later on so stop it before it hhurts u too much kay?

Forgive yourself and forget about him! Any man worth having would not allow this situation to continue. He's imagining a 3-way while you are imagining two hearts beating as one. Take action now and get a new roomie or even better, a new place and start living your new, happier life free of guilt and heartbreak. Throw yourself into fun situations with new people and places. He'll probably come sniffing around when he sees the confident happy you getting on with it, but recall how easy it is for him to lie and cheat and stand your ground.

I hate to sound crass, but you are pretty much whoring yourself once you knew he didn't break up wiht your now-roomate. I wouldn't forgive you and try to kick you out myself. Sorry girl, but that's a real messed up look right there and you may want to end it pronto. Or move out. Either way, you're gonna get hurt and possibly homeless.

God bless this dude! He's got two in one house - man deserves a trophy. You however are just being used and you will most likely take the brunt of the outcome. Good luck with all that. try to make better choices. oh and if roles were reversed and i found out my roommate was sleeping with my love interest ... you'd wake up with no hair.

forgive yourself and dump his loser ass! you deserve much better than some chump that's stringing you along!

I say undecided because the situation still isn't finished (unless it already has by this time). I think there's still time for you to either right your wrongs or sink down deeper and I hope it's the former. I think you need to stop hooking up with him for the time being and have an honest chat with him. If he's not in the same boat with you, move on. You don't need this.

i dont know.. thats pretty bad... just come clean. dont be suprised if things dont come your way.

No do not come clean…just get out smoothly and start over fresh. And do not tell the world about it. Do not tell him either, he obviously doesn’t care that much about your well being, or you would not be going through this emotional roller coaster. You are NOT the only one at fault here. But are you completely wrong with your actions thus far.

You need to wake up to a lot of thing. You also need to be alone to find yourself, and a week or two is not going to do it. You need to live alone for one thing. Living with her is making it too easy for you to see this man.

And if this so called real man loved you, then it would not have been so easy for him to move on. Who knows, you may not have been the only one he was with so many years ago, while you assumed you were the only one cheating on a mate. Meaning he may have planned to be with someone else when he finally knew that you were breaking up with his friend. He didn’t want that much of an attachment to you, he just pretended like he did, until it was time for you two to be alone…so you thought.

Lastly, I know you’re attached to this man emotionally because you have been cheating together for a while. But try to see how it feels to meet another man, and have a few dates with them. You may just find that your cheating was not necessary. There is someone out there for everyone, but you have to step out and find them too. They’re not going to fall into your lap.

Stop, stop, stop cheating, it doesn’t do anyone any good mentally or physically. One lie leads to another, and a lot of wasted time in life. You are wasting your time waiting on a man that may only want sex from you, so therefore he will keep stringing you along. He may like the rush of this roller coaster…but you sound a mess when it comes to only this part of your life. Real love doesn’t cheat, it will wait. Real love doesn’t lie to you from week to week on anything either.

And try to also see it this way…….that this man is easily going from woman to woman, quite possibly, and cheating on them with you. Consider that he could possibly play this very convincing game with you when you are the supposed “only one” in his life later on. He will cheat on you too, and because you love him, you will be completely clueless just like your last boyfriend was about him, and just like his current girl is clueless about him cheating on her with you. USUALLY (not always), once a cheat always a cheat, it is in them. They only just get better over time with the cheating so each mate/ spouse will never know about it, they get a lot smoother.

It’s not worth it. But you are worth so much more in life, even if you’ve made these stupid mistakes. We ALL make idiotic mistakes in life. So feel bad…yes of course, you were in the wrong on a serious level..…but get over it and better yourself for your own sake. Life goes on and you only have one life to live. There is a real man out there 4 you that wont cheat. And is willing too love you for your faults as well as your achievements. But you have to get out there to find him, stop acting as if this is the only mal out there that you can get…so find another….AND DO NOT make it another persons man again. Oh, and move out now. No more roommates for you.

I agree with Jaxon comment 13, I really agree and she is so very right..
Love and Peace Shawn

how would u feel if somebody did the same to you?
all i can say is that try putting yourself in her shoes & then se how you would feel- hurt, right? so, pls. stop what you are doing & begin a new life!!!

Move on it`s not worth it!lol

man, that is one tangled knot you got there. You just gotta pull the strings attached. I'm afraid you might have to confont both of them. Tell your roommate the truth and tell that guy that you like, that hes taking too long. Well.. thats what i would do.

I am in the same situation....being in love with a boyfriend's best friend. I broke up with my bf and am now dating the bestfriend, however, we cant tell anyone. Im really happy that we are together finally, after talking about it for 3 years. I dont know what Im going to do when my ex finds out though. YIKES!

OH PS... I most definately forgive. It really sucks what he did to you tho

I forgave you because i think you are in a rough situation that you definately need to remove yourself from. Everything is a mess and you have to leave everything behind. Even though you may love this guy it is time to move on and get yourself out of the funk.

Not forgive. So you cheated on your boyfriend with his good friend and now you hooked up with the friend while he is in a relationship with someone else? I don't think that's a hard question. You need to get your feelings straight and do the right thing before you hurt any more people in your life. Be considerate of others' feelings. You think you have it really bad now because you can't figure out what you want or face up to the consequences of doing the right thing? I'm sure your ex and the friend's current girlfriend is not feeling much better after they find out what you guys were/are up to.

U and that dude, both of u are totally guilty and non forgiven. ure a real slut, i must say. first, u fall for ure bfs friend. next u sleep with him when u know that hes seeing ure roommate. ure a real slut. i say not forgive and should never be forgiven. oh the humanity. women like u, SHAME

u cheated on ure bf
u cheated on ure roommate
and ure cheating on that dude