Unless you dont' overcome your commitment issues it will always happen ... maybe you aren't just ready to settle down ... and you still want to have some fun, and thats why you come up with excuses ...
Were you ever hurt before in any relationship? and hence the reason why you dont' want to commit now?

Wow... I could have written this myself! I date, but nothing ever works out for more than a few weeks. I'm never really that interested in any of the guys for that long.

i have the compelling urge to sing "you're an asshole-e-ol-e-ol-e-ol-ol-eolllll, you're an asshole-e-ol-e-ol-e-ol-ol-eolllll"

this is why girls hate guys

i don't think he's an asshole; perhaps a little too blunt, but not an *sshole. dating someone, i would rather know right off the bat that its not working. at least that's how i try to do it. he just needs to learn how to soften his approach a bit.

I used to like guys, get together with them, suddenly feel stifled and break up with them. It was my constant cycle. And then I met a guy who began the same way, except I thought, "well, maybe I'll just try to stick it out 2 months and if I still want to run for the hills, I will." And that was it. We're married now. I don't know if that's what it will take for you, but forcing myself to stick it out until the fear passed was all it took.

How about avoiding that whole dramatic situation and tell the girl from the day you meet (if you guys want to see each other again) that you're looking for casual dating at the moment, and aren't ready for a relationship. If by chance you change your mind, and you keep seeing the girl, talk about it. If you change your mind, and she (the girl you presumably will be dating for a while) doesn't...well, move on to find a serious relationship, and then make THAT known.

Why even bother dating someone? If you know this is your pattern, and you seem pretty sure that this will continue then what is the point? Do you ever want to get into a committed relationship? If the answer is no, then you are leading them on from day one because most normal adults do want to settle down into some kind of committed monogamous relationship and. hence, they are dating.

If the answer is yes, and you continue with this behavior, you are never going to be happy. I hate people that say they have high standards or whatever, and they find flaws in everyone enough to break up in a few days or weeks (really? so you have hung out with this person like 3 times and know everything about them enough to know you would never marry them? REALLY?). The real issue with these people, and with you, is that you have major commitment issues and are terrified that one of these girls will hurt you. Go to therapy, get over yourself for 2 seconds, and grow up then maybe you will have a shot at happiness.

maybe you just don't know what you're looking for?

Oh my friend, this is why I don't ask for advice on DearSugar anymore...enjoy

I don't think there is anything wrong with him at all. I happen to be the kidn of person who can tell pretty early if it's there or not and why should he keep up an illusion if there's nothign to backit up? Isn't it more A**hole like to keep stringing a girl along when he knows it's not going to work out? I mean if he's breaking up with girls because of stupid things like one night at dinner she gets spinach stuck in her teeth and that's it then he's kind of a d bag but if it's simply because the girls are nice but not right for him he isn't doing anything wrong. That's sort of what dating is about fidnign out what you want or don't want and once you find that out you should move on if it's not right

you should jsut not think so much just have fun and enjoy yourself.
if it is not ment to be then something will happen you just have to have fun. You should just stop dating for a while then you my see that someone that you are meant to be with everything will e all good .

Also I wonder if this guy is sleeping with these girls and then bolts...not a lot of info in the original post

Mydiadem, I thought the same thing. I also wonder if, as Dear said, bringing up marriage is a bad idea. If I were dating someone and he was all, "It's not working, I don't want to marry you" within a few weeks, I'd be miffed at the assumption that *I* want to marry *him*.

Sounds like a dating break might help the dude get some clarity on what he wants. Maybe he just doesn't want to commit, and that's OK — but a little break could clarify that.

He's no *sshole, Dear's right, he hasn't found the right one. There's plenty of sweet, nice and cut guys, but I'm sure all of you don't go for a guy because of that right? He's just being honest. Okay, so maybe women get super sensitive when the M word is mentioned. But we can't say for sure that marriage isn't an important factor to him either. He didn't say he doesn't want to get married, he just, with alternate choice words basically said they have no future together. Could be perhaps he's not totally ready for it, or yes maybe he didn't find the right one. Perhaps he just needs to find someone who has all those qualities he likes and he could connect with, and instead of worrying so much about marriage, just go with it and see where their lives take it. He just has commitment issues, perhaps terrified of the long term?

dating doesn't make much sense to me. you meet a stranger, and then in 3 weeks time you're supposed to be able to commit? of course you find that hard. it takes MUCH longer than a few dates to truly feel committed.

Solution: stop dating for a while. let things happen naturally. i too find dating to be somewhat stifling. the artificiality and expectations that go along with it tend to kill any passion and interest over the long term. focus on building friendships and see where they go. maybe it'll help if you take women out of the "dating" box and approach the whole interaction with fewer rules and expectations in mind. i'm not telling you to go hook up casually. i'm suggesting you try an alternate method of building relationships: instead of starting with the date, start with the casual friendship. if the friendship works out, you'll build a bond and foundation with each other, and then if you decide you like each other in a few months, then you can start "dating" and it'll be easier for you to commit.

I don't have a solution to your problem, but I have a diagnosis: you're a Guy. Sowing your wild oats is the most important thing to you, more so than stable love, so that's why you're not able to commit.

Cause women are silly and some will be upset no matter what route you go. I prefer honesty and some women, despite claiming to favor honesty, prefer lies. Go on being you, you'll eventually find someone and it will be someone who actually like you for who you are because your being who you are.

Not enough info to decide you're being misleading or whatever LOL.
Maybe you just haven't met the right one.

Oh wait, I have a suggestion:

How about when you just meet a gal and you guys are talking about dating and such, or what type of relationship you're looking for. Tell them upfront (even if they bring it up in the first date):

I'm not looking for a commitment.
Or
I'm not looking for a long term commitment

This way, you kind of weed out the gals who are looking for a commitment (asap or have the 'C' word in mind).

And just date casually gals who are not looking for one, you may like each other enough then to step it up to the next level.

I think that's kind of better than not saying anything, lavishing them with attention until you bed them, then when they want more (a commitment), you decide that they're not the ones for you.

Although I'm not a guy I understand where you are coming from. Pretty much every single guy I've dated have been the perfect on paper guy. But I rarely had any chemistry with them. Since I'm very picky, it doesn't take a long time for me to figure out whether it's worth continuing or not. Every once in awhile I do meet some guys who I feel connection with, but I'm just not ready to settle yet for the second best at such a young age.
Don't take this matter too seriously. You are either not ready or haven't found the one yet. I have some friends who think I have a serious problem with commitment, but I disagree. Everyone is different. Keep searching and you will find the lucky gal one day. Also, there's nothing wrong with being honest. It's much better than leading them on!

Telling someone that you don't plan on marrying them when the relationship might not be anywhere near that kind of talk is intentionally hurtful. Not seeing a future with someone is fine, going out of your way to be presumptuous is another. Don't overestimate your value.

In your description of your dating habits, you remind me of Seinfeld! Finding one small thing wrong with a girl and so breaking up with her right away. While I think it is good that you don't string some girl along and make her think that you are interested in more from her, I agree with rockandrepublic that it also is not cool to be presume so much. Maybe you don't really know someone after dating them for a couple weeks, just a thought. I agree with stumbler02, I think you should start to develop friendships first, before you date the girl. Then maybe you will have a chance to see who she is before deciding if you want to date her. The great thing about being friends first is that people are more relaxed around friends, meaning that they will probably be themselves and you will find out some good and bad stuff. Also, many great relationships have started from people being friends first, because really, a good partnership involves being best friends. Oh yeah, and when you are breaking up with girls don't tell them that they aren't marriage material to you. Talk about knowing how to stab a girl where it hurts! Try to be kind about it. Otherwise you will develop a long string of enemies rather than friends. I think that, since you say these girls are all so 'incredible' as you put it, that you probably have some serious commitments issues. First of all, many women may not be looking to get married at all, to anyone including you. Second of all, making a snap judgement about someone just like that makes you seem like a cold, superficial, insensitive *sshole. Sorry, but it's true, I am just the only person here that has enough guts to tell you the truth. Hurts a bit, doesn't it? Perhaps you should keep the other persons feelings in mind the next time you decide a girl isn't marriage material after dating her for a few weeks! I think that you are trying to portray yourself as some sensitive guy who just wants to find a wife, but you are actually a player, and I am guessing that you have sex with these women and then act like a jackass to them once you realize they aren't perfect. I seriously doubt that you are perfect in any way, shape or form. Start treating these women with the respect that you feel you deserve, and you might not have so many women hating you. Just a thought.

youre dating too much and you like being able to do that because you arent ready to settle down. maybe you need to actually be by yourself and stop keeping all these options because then you get confused about who you really want and you end up ruining it with all of them. it could also be that you have other issues that are holding you back that you need to explore and figure out how to conquer them or you will always be in this situation.

and honestly... how would you know that you don't see yourself marrying these girls after only a few dates? i think you have this little fantasy in your head that you will know right away when you meet "the one". thats not how life works and you are ruining a potentially good relationship because you "dont see yourself marrying them" right off the bat. these girls are getting pissed off because you don't even take the time to get to know them and build on a relationship before you tell them you don't see it going anywhere. these things take time. don't expect it to happen right away and when it doesn't you bail. thats not how things are in the real world. grow up a little and get to know someone and you may be surprised.

and a way to keep someone as a friend without hurting them when you want to break up is to get to know them as a friend first then date them. youre putting too much emphasis on a relationship and marriage and youre rushing the feelings that should come with time and arent apparent in the beginning.

Janine22: I was also thinking; does this guy dump them BEFORE or AFTER bedding them? If it's after, then I'm afraid I have to draw the same conclusion as you.

The OP sounds like a legend in his own mind...agree with everything Janine said. If some guy told me I wasn't marriage material after a few dates, I would probably tell him to go f@ck himself...really, how presumptuous can you get?

I think this guy is just pulling our chains, ladies. He is probably one of the types that just loves drama, women crying over his worthless a$$, etc., and has no immediate interest in changing his behavior.

And he wonders why he can't keep these sweet, confident, smart, beautiful women as friends...gimme a break!