Omg I am in the same situation ... The man asked me out of of the blue Monday, and we had previously exhanged texts and ever a few sparse phone calls for a month ...
And I am still waiting too ... we also exchanged a few texts tuesday afternoon but it was very random ...
I am so glad you are going through the same situation Rachel ... Even though waiting sucks I still haven't tried to text/call him ... Lets see what happens ...

i'll be honest...if a guy really wants to see you again, he'll ask you. don't contact him. if he doesn't ask you out for one of the nights over the weekend, he's just not that into you.

Agree with skigurl.. .wait for it. Try not to think about it. I know it sounds like a game, but we are talking men here.

I may be jaded, but I don't think men appreciate relationships as much when they don't have to work for them. JMHO.

You were right to move on the first time. Keep yourself busy in the meantime with other stuff, and if he doesn't call, then you know he is just not that into you, and yes, you move on again.

I agree with skigurl - I've been in your same situation, called the guy, asked him out on the next day etc. - and it always ended with him not being that into me (or not me specifically, he isn't into being in a functional normal relationship). If he is really into you expect a call soon. If not, move on. When I guy really likes you there is no pretense about communication, i.e. there are no 'rules'.

I have disagree. I think that if you like the guy and you guys definitely had a good time just call him!
I guess it depends on the person but I dont believe in playing games or waiting for him to call YOU back. I dont believe in "rules". I think that you should do what you need to do...no guy is going to sit there and count the days or hours. And if he does im sure he'll like knowing your eager to meet with him again!

good luck!

Did we not have a similar question like this recently??

its recycled?! I take my comment back

It depends on your personality and what type of relationship you want, jmho.
It's up to you to set the tone of your relationship (vice versa with the boys), if you like him and don't mind making the first moves (being the aggressor/initiator) go for calling him up, no need to wait for days, the result will be the same regardless the time line.

But being the first to call of course has the NEGATIVE consequence of him 1) rejecting you 2) accepting reluctantly 3) Perhaps it'll snowball down the road into you feeling like you have to be the one making all the initiatives/first moves (because of the tone you've set up in the beginning).
The positive one would be that he's just nervous and wants you to make the first move so he'll be happy to go out with you.
I'm the 'traditional' type because I like it better when the guy makes the first moves (IN THE BEGINNING)--plus it's easier on me since I'm not the one who puts my head/heart on the line (in case of rejection). And I like to secretly set the tone of the relationship.

You can definitely call him but please understand that calling a guy and asking him to hang out leaves u questioning his feelings while if you let him call u know whats on his mine.

sorry, i meant mind.

don't call him. if he's interested, he'll call you.

Give him a call. Women shouldn't always have to wait for a man, if they want something. You never know, he could be waiting for you give him a call.

Wait until he asks you out on the second date. It hurts no-one to simply see how interested he is.

Also, it's not a game, in the USA men are brought up to pursue you and they will do so if they want to. (I have too much experience dating men from other countries and have had to completely alter how I date!)

Back when I dated, I never waited for anyone to call longer than one day before forgetting who they were anyway. Lots of fish in the sea.

I wont bother to b.s. you, op. Don't bother with him.

If a man truly likes you, he will call you soon, because he doesn't want to risk the chance of you meeting someone else. If he likes you, he will call. As someone else here said, if he is interested in a long term relationship with you, he will not wait weeks to ask you out or not talk to you for awhile and then call you up out of the blue. I am surprised that you even went out on a date with him after he waited weeks to ask you. I would suspect that he was seeing someone else and it didn't work out. Or else he likes you, but not enough to ask you out right away. No matter what other excuses there are (busy with work, etc..) if a man really likes you, then he will make it a priority to ask you out. The fact that you said he didn't seem eager to meet up in person makes me suspect he is involved with someone else. I know you don't want to hear this, but just be cautious. And whatever you do, don't phone him. If you go out with him again, don't jump into anything too quickly.

I agree with skigrl and Jude C. All the years I was single, I always would make excuses for guys behavior, blah blah blah. Then one day, a friends mother said 'If a man is interested in a woman, he'll move mountains to be with her.' Something in that little sentence hit a nerve with me and I never chased a guy again. And when I met my fiance, he called the very next day after our first date, and almost every day after that, and he definited moved a few mountains along the way to spent time with me; sometimes just for a half hour over a cup of coffee.

I agree with Marci. My bf was like that too. He set up a first date very soon, but even before we got to that first date he called me to see if we could do it a day earlier. He just couldn't wait, LOL. And it's been the same since.

I also agree with Janine that to me it sounds like he was dating someone else and maybe that just didn't work out so he is calling you now.

So even though sometimes I think it is fine for a girl to be forward, it doesn't always scare the boys away or make them not like you b/c they don't get to chase you in my opinion. I don't think you should take the forward route in this case. Wait for him and see just how interested he is.

I'm just going to guestimate here, none you guys ever asked a guy out first?

gals*

I'd just tell him I had a ton of fun. When can we do it again. That lets him take some of the responsibility but he knows you're interested.

Myst, personally - I have never asked a guy out. However, recently I've developed a crush on an acquaintance and have been very seriously considering asking him out.

But, I was raised a rule girl and quite honestly - I'm sick of the rules! And, most guy friends have all unamoniosly agreed that they are all very impressed by women who have the courage to ask them out.

All the rules have gotten me is the exact same place "What are the Rules Rachel" is in... So, if you can offer some advice on how to successfully break the rules please let me know!! It would be greatly appreciated!

Not me Myst. my first comment says it

I have, Myst. It's fun.

My comment wasn't so much directed at the first approach, but about how a guy acts after the first date.

Men want and need a challenge. Maybe he's waiting to see if you're worth pursuing. If you call him, then it's too easy. At least at the beginning of a relationship.

Yes, I have asked guys out and it didn't work out for me. I did it twice. I believe in Marci's mom's philosophy - "if he likes you he will move mountains" - it's for real and I've seen it a couple of times now.

Oops! *Marci's friend's mom's philosophy!

lol, I directed my mom to this post and she called me up, laughing her a**up. She made the moves first on my dad. She saw him on base a couple of times and after asking around about him, on her 19th birthday, while having a birthday party she basically went up to him and said "It's my birthday, and I want you as a present". Almost 30 years later, they're still together.

I'm completely my mother's child and I grew up in Japan, where it's pretty common for girls to approach the guys that they like. I've learned over the years that some guys are either to damn shy to approach girls or get confused by mix signals and just say to hell with it. So the whole waiting around for guys make the moves it pretty foreign to me. If you want to proceed to the next step. Let the man know and if he's p***yfooting around it, than you know he wasn't worth your time to begin with.

Personally, I would wait. If he made the first move the first time, he'll ask you out again because since you guys already went on a first date already (and it went perfectly according to you), it's beyond the "shy" phase. If he's interested, he'll call again. So be patient~! And yes, I do believe that if guys do like a challenge and also if he's actually seriously interested, he'll act on it.

I have asked guys out before. But in all of my long term relationships the man always made the first move and pursued me. If a man is too stupid to read my signals (which I am fairly obvious with if I like a guy), or too insecure to make the first move, then he is not the right guy for me. I do find that most men prefer to do a bit of chasing at first. I like men that have the confidence to ask me out. If he doesn't even have the courage to do that, then he is not strong enough to be with a strong woman like me. Also, I want to be in a relationship with a man who is willing to bend over backwards to be with me at first. Who likes me enough to not risk not getting to know me. First of all, I rarely give out my number. Second of all, if I do and he doesn't phone within about 4 days, I know that either a). he is seeing someone else and/or b). he is not that into me. Either way, NOT interested. If he phones after that, maybe we could be friends, but that is about it. I am not willing to wait around for some guy to phone. If you truly like me, then get on the bag. If not, f*ck off and don't waste my time.

In any case, I am engaged to an awesome guy now. And I met him at a bar. And I called him on the fact that he was playing the phone # game, (which he was) and the fact that I do not give out my number to men. He promised he really liked me and would phone, and he had to convince me to give him my number. That night he threw out all of the other girls numbers. And then he phoned me 2 days later and asked for a date. The rest is history. I am just saying, if it is meant to be and he truly likes you, he will be on it. He will not play games, or mess around. He will know what he wants and go after it.

well - i think that if you're that concerned about the rules - then you probably shouldn't have gone on a date the same night with the guy - but with that being said - there's really no reason why you shouldn't just call him and see what's up. i think that sometimes we put too much importance on 'days' and not being too eager or whatever - but life is short and everyone's relationship is different so what works for them isn't necessarily what works for you. i hope that by now you've talked to him and things are going well.

I wouldn't bother with contacting him. If it took that long to meet up in person, this guy is probably seeing multiple girls and you just aren't that high up in his dating hierarchy.

I was the first person to post in this thread ... and I was going through the exact same situation ... Just an update ... He txted me friday and we ended up seeing eachother saturday night ...
and flirting via texts all of sunday
So its goin good and strong