I don't care how mad I am, I would probably would not withhold it. lol.

Well maybe...if the situation was bad. But if it was over something that isn't worth getting mad over, I would give in.

Make up sex is always good and it does make things better over little fits. lol.

Don't blatantly say I won't have sex with you unless you do this or agree with me, but the thing is if he really wants it he will get it from somewhere. But I can see if you are mad at someone you aren't in the mood to be lovely dovey and intimate with them. It's more of a mood thing more so than I want to punish the person. When you are mad you naturally distance yourself from the person.

Don't. That being said, I have a really hard time being intimate when he's being a jerk and I want to be far away, not close!

I'm just not in the mood when I'm mad. It's not even an issue of using it as a tool. And frankly the more my partner was trying to "win me over" with sex or try to get me to have sex when I was still bothered, the more pissed off I would be, making me even less in the mood then I was before.

Wow you know you don't have a stable relationship when you start to with hold nookie. There is this handy little thing called communication, and with that compromise. Maybe people should try that before being vengeful b*tches.

So yeah I didn't vote because that option wasn't there.

I don't withhold sex intentionally - I just don't feel like getting it on when I'm angry. Withholding on purpose is a bad idea, and will only serve to foster resentment on both sides.

I'm just not in the mood unless a conflict is resolved but I wouldn't withhold sex to get something!

Sex isn't a tool. If you think it is, your relationship is in more trouble than you know.

I am a naive idealist I suppose but sex is something special to share in a relationship... not a treat you bring out for a dog that has done something good.

withholding sex as a punishment is a very bad idea.

I agree with those saying it is hard to have sex with your partner when you're angry with them. I think in most cases it's not about punishing them, it's that you are so upset that you can't be intimate. But if you actually still are in the mood for sex and are just refusing to do it to piss your partner off, that's not good.

A don't. Chances are I wouldn't want to anyway if I were mad or upset, but I wouldn't do it on purpose as a tool.

I don't think there is any question about not wanting to have sex becuase you're not in the mood..Rather then not having sex becuase you are angry at your other half and purposely withholding it to punish him for either not giving you what you want or pissing you off

Oh when I said not an issue, I meant for me. I can't speak for other people.

Withhold intentionally? No. However for the most part I think the drive for sex is just not there after an argument

bad bad bad idea. if he isn't getting it from you, he'll end up getting it from somewhere else.

i agree with people above- its more of an if i am mad i'm not in the mood type a thing- not a lets withhold it on purpose type of thing

Don't withhold sex as punishment! If you're not in the mood, that's different. If you are, by all means- go for it! It just might help.

NO! I never take sex for granted now! You never know, it might be the way back to solving your problem. People just get crankier without it.

totally tacky and not empowering at all. i feel like if you withheld sex as a punishment you would just feel worse yourself/

A f-king don't. Sure, it's okay if it's unintentional and you're not in the mood but if it is intentional and you're withholding sex as a form of punishment, that easily crosses into lines of manipulation.

I love sex, so withholding it from whoever I am with is really punishing myself. So I would have to find other means of punishment.

Agree with all that's been said... A definite no, no in my book.

Oh I do it all the time. I love when he begs.

But no.. that's just lame. Besides, like smiley said I'd feel like I was punishing myself. Heehee.

I don't think withholding is the most appropriate word when it comes to sex. It gives the impression that it's something 'owed' to someone and it's simply not. You can't be forced into something you don't want to. Sex is not a prize or reward, it's consensual. There. Ha!

In a good relationship there should be no form of punishment, so I think if you feel the need to do that then it sais a lot about your current situation.
If, on the other hand, you are really upset about something and therefor don't want to have sex at the moment, that's another story.

I think if there is an arguement? than sex is usually not part of the nightly ritual, If I am angry or upset I am usually not in the mood for sex. But i dont withhold it for punishment, thats juvenile. I do however use it as a reward!

It's a don't, you'd be hurting yourself too.

sex should never be used as a weapon or as punishment.

I said "a don't" b/c, no I would never purposely withhold it as punishment. That's immature and the couple should communicate and find mature ways to solve the problem. And then when the guy gave in, wouldn't you just wonder if he only gave in b/c he wanted sex, and not b/c the problem was solved? I would...

But, like a lot of other people have said. I can't have sex when we are fighting or upset, b/c I just don't feel like it. I'm not in the mood. Who wants to get close and show your S.O. how much you care about them and love them, when you are pissed and probably feeling like they don't care about you (depending on what your fighting about)? That just makes no sense.

lol I said I would ... but not as punishment ... rather as a naughty treat ...

I want to hear from one of the people who said that it's a do.

I think withholding as punishment is a don't...but if you're having an argument, that doesn't exactly put you in the mood for it either. So maybe it's being misconstrued by some as being punishment when it's not??

I agree, Court.

my husband i agreed when we first got married that we would never withhold sex as a punishment. what does it solve? nothing i feel. it does nothing but make what ever you're arguing about escalate.

I agree with the comments above, that saying you're "withholding" it makes it sound like it was a duty you had before. Withholding sex on purpose to frustrate a partner is a really bad idea, but for me, sex with my partner is an emotional act just as much as a physical one. If our emotional relationship is having a problem, I have to talk that out with him and resolve it before I can physically be interested in sex. My boyfriend is the same way; if he is upset, he's not interested.

Withholding the lovin' to punish him is to punish me too. Makeup nookie is AWESOME.

However, I have been mad enough that the idea of sex is repugnant, so it's tough to say. But I wouldn't use punishing him as a reason to say no.

I can't (and won't) have sex when im angry. It feels like I'm being dishonest.

No-absolutely not. What a silly thing to do.

This is very childish. It also wouldn't work because he'd just go jerk it in the other room??

If you're in an adult relationship nothing you do should be seen as punishment. You're not your partners parent you are equals. If you aren't in the mood for sex because of unresolved issues it's one thing but to try to manipulate someone into doing what you want them to by withholding any form of affection or communication is wrong and just plain childish.

I've tried once. Luckily for me (and him!) we usually forget about whatever we were arguing about by the time we get all of our clothes off. He knows how angry i can get, so when i start yelling he just kisses me and we take it from there.

My wife withholds sex unless i do certain tasks, like its a reward of some kind. To be honest i have given up and its has come to the point where i dont want it from her any more. I start to think about getting it somwhere else. I really do love her and she says she loves me but i am not a dog to be trained. After 18 years of marrage it seems like i am just there to help raise the kids.

I've been on the receiving end of this. My wife, miffed because I failed to plan anything major for our first anniversary, said "never again." That was 15 years ago. I'm certain she expected me to bail or be unfaithful, but I would never grant her the satisfaction. I suppose that makes me equally stubborn, but I've stayed in this sexless marriage without cheating. I'm 35 years old now, still young and attractive enough to move on but my soul is so hollowed out by resentment that its too late. Easier to endure this prison of a marriage than move on.