As much as you think he is still yours, he is not. He is some other girl's now, so you should have respected that.

Not forgive. Put yourself in the girl's place. How would you feel then.

It was an incredibly selfish thing to do, and I don't understand how you though you knew you had to move to another state to get over this guy, you would risk falling for him again by having sex with him. What if it turned out you did still have feelings for him, would you have tried to get him back? I vote not forgive.

Not forgive. Control yourself, we're all adults here. You enabled your ex to be the dog that he clearly is.

I agree with what the other posters have said. Furthermore, it would be far easier to 'forgive' somebody who actually sounded remorseful. Selfish and not sorry about it? Yikes.

Please don't make excuses such as "you need to have sex with your ex in order to move on" it's lame. It's not up to any of use if you can be forgiven so the poll is pointless in the way. There's nothing anyone can say. BOTH of you are culprits in this, he cheated on her, and you cheated with him, and you BOTH knew what you were doing (I don't believe in excuses, especially the drunk one). I don't think his girlfriend will be able to forgive both of you. And frankly I hope she finds out, she deserves better. You two obviously belong with each other. I voted not forgive...frankly it makes me sick to think someone is happy that they did something so selfish which can only result in pain.

Not forgive. Scum.

This same situation happened to me except I was the girlfriend!!! Trashy on both your parts. Needless to say I left, but not before I learned the hard way that two selfish people will continue to be selfish regardless of who they hurt. Stay with him or stay away from him, but either way you both need to GROW UP and stick to hurting each other and leave everybody else alone.

Not a chance this is forgivable. You've become the very thing you so "despised"...hypocritical, don't you think?

There's a reason he's your EX. How does having sex with him bring closure?! If you want to end something with someone, usually it's about *separation*, not the ultimate act of *togetherness*. I just don't understand that. Neither of you have seemed to move on, really.

And you've aided in his betraying the trust of his current girlfriend. He is in a relationship with someone else. Whatever other reasons you are trying to use to explain this away (the alcohol, the hardship, the classic "it just happened"), it's STILL inexcusable. There were better ways to handle this. You KNEW he would probably be at this party, you KNEW how you felt about him beforehand, you probably even knew that the night might end with you guys in bed as soon as you saw him. The sad thing is that you were in control of yourself (with or without alcohol) enough to know...and consciously CHOSE to do it anyway.

Not forgive.

Completely selfish. You two deserve each other.

Not forgive. thanksgiving, really?? terrible.

Sure, it's all okay until someone sleeps with your boyfriend. You get what you give.

Not forgive, not ever. You're completely selfish, you never thought about his girlfriend once, you had an "amazing" night. Great for you. Trash.

Forgive, she was not in a relationship he was.

Not Forgive. Cheating aside, which is completely wrong and hurtful, no matter what the situation or consequences, if you were really "over him" you wouldn't have slept with him.
You made a fool of yourself and I'm sure your ex only slept with you because he was horny and his GIRLFRIEND was out of town. You're just a slut in his eyes now. I hope you're happy with yourself. How could it be an amazing night when clearly you were used for casual, meaningless sex? Very immature and irresponsible actions by both people involved.

They is no part of this that is forgivable. And this person doesn't even sound remorseful. Just horrible. I hope karma comes back and bites you where it hurts.

Forgive...she didn't cheat, only he did. Plus it will might help her get over him as she probably would never get back together with a cheater.

Forgive - it's not her place be her ex's conscience or to decide how much he values his current relationship. Even if she wanted this to happen from the beginning, as long as she didn't hold a gun to his head he's responsible for the repercussions in his relationship, not her.

Not forgive. Some people don't understand the concept of an ex. You are a nasty person.

Not forgive. Just think how you would feel if you were her. And you should have your own self-respect; why would you sleep with a guy who is already attached, even if he is your ex???

Disgusting women like you are the reason women like me have exes with girlfriends who think we can't be trusted - because women like you make it seem like we can't! That's incredibly trashy, and you need to come clean.

Forgive. It's and unfortunate situation, but you're single and you can do what, or I guess who, you want.

I voted forgive. I think you did do the wrong thing though. You knew he had a girlfriend, and you should have had enough respect for relationships and other women to not do that to her. It's more of his fault though. He is the one who cheated. You shouldn't have done it and I hope you learn from this, but ultimately, he made the bigger mistake.

You know, just because you're single doesn't give you the right to screw whoever you want. Have some morals at least, but I guess some people just don't. Never know how it feels until you're in this position.

^ agreed GScott86, just because you're single, you should know better and karma can bite you in the @ss too. I hope she finds out and dump him.

Oh goodness. Forgive. Yeah I did worse than this and I'm still cordial to my ex's girlfriends and better yet forgiven. That's not who I am anymore. Yeah, what you did was irresponsible but you can totally be forgiven for what you did. Yeah you want forgiveness from people but if I have it from God and I've forgiven who I need to forgive, it's all good. Now the key is to turn from this situation so that it doesn't become your lifestyle. If this happens with every ex or you continue to do this with this ex, then there's a serious problem. Assess the situation and understand that it was wrong regardless of what knowledge you "think" you gained. In the end, it's not worth it or excusable.

I need people to understand that just because you can turn down a certain temptation doesn't mean everyone can. If someone is an alcoholic, that doesn't give me the right to condemn b/c I don't have that problem. Things happen. Learn the lesson. Change your habits. Move one.

crap... typo... Move on.

if it looks like a slut and acts like a slut..............

Forgive? No. It takes two.

Think about it; you, consciously or not, think that because you've slept together many times before that one more time can't hurt. The truth is that it can, and it probably already has. You dont know anything about his new girlfriend, he could have gotten an std from her and given it to you. You never know. Think of how you would feel if your new boyfriend slept with his ex, and figured "it's alright, we've done it before might as well do it one last time!" That would never be an acceptable excuse.

Not forgive.

i'm undecided. it's a really horrible, selfish, crappy thing to do, but he's the one in a relationship, not you. he has the responsibility to stay faithful to his girlfriend, not you... but karma is TOTALLY going to get you in the end. so you'll get what you deserve.

Not forgive. I agree that she was the single one and could do what she wants, but the fact is that SHE KNEW he was with another women. And its complete bullsh*t that you needed to fck him to get over him completely. She doesn't even respect his new woman. He's a Dick, because he didnt have respect for his current gf. Its obvious you still have feelings for him. But that was really low.

I agree with everyone saying that he did worse because he's the one in a relationship, but it's beyond ridiculous to say she should be forgiven just because she's not AS bad as he is. She's not in a relationship so it's forgivable for her to aid in screwing over other people? No! It was still immoral and irresponsible, she knew what she was doing, and she's looking for other people to justify it for her. That's not okay.

I just love how in the comments, it's all not forgive because it's so disrespectful to the guy's girlfriend, but many of y'all are using the anonymity of the internet to pass judgment and hurl insults. Girl on girl crime, huh? Grow up ladies.

I say forgive. You got drunk, you listened to your heart and your hormones instead of your gut and your head, and you messed up. Leave it behind and take it as a lesson.

Agreed Colleen. What I don't agree with wrp posters who say she wasn't the one in a relationship so she did no wrong: I think that sounds like some kind of legal technicality than a good, pure defense of her actions. Agreed, she was not the one who cheated, but when you know someone is in a relationship, don't basic morals and decency demand that you don't further a situation of infidelity? As they say there are two kinds of evil; those that do it and those that allow it to happen.

You know I actually did "UNDECIDED." I agree with the other posters that said she was selfish & didn't seem to feel bad for being the other women.

HOWEVER, it is strange because what about the guy? I know the post is about the girl... but it takes "two to tango." Sure she was the other women, but it was the guy that had the girlfriend to begin with! I guess I just hate how we bash each other and never point out finger at the guy that did it in the first place! He's MUCH more at fault.

Yet again, Sugarblonde, why is it only ONE person's fault? Like you said, "it takes two to tango". It was BOTH of them. Yes, he's MORE at fault, but that does NOT mean that she isn't at fault at all.

Alcohol can do that to you. I think you both should be ashamed of what you have done. If you have no such remorse, then you are not someone I would like as a spouse, or a spouse for anyone I care for. I have a number of female friends I am close to. I am even still exchanging Christmas cards with my very first girlfriend from 50+ years ago. I seriously doubt any of those friends of mine ever thought of having an affair with neither me, nor I with them. Yet, I would only go out with them alone if it was for lunch maybe once or twice a year, and it was a work day for both of us. Over time they all have been invited over to my home with their spouses (if they had one), and my wife and I have been to their homes as well.

The lesson basically is don't set yourself up for a compromising situation. Consider the consequences first. If you don't "think" you're hurting yourself, at least consider others you may end up hurting.

Everyone has weaknesses, but that doesn't mean we should use that as an excuse to let ourselves be weak.

annebreal, I pray everyone would tell their friends who acted this way the same thing. My very best friend can tell you that in a similar situation, I have told her the exact same thing. Do you really think so little of everyone?

Neither of you should be forgiven. He's a prick who cheated on his girlfriend, and you're the b*tch who enabled that behavior. You don't seem to regret your actions - you even have the nerve to feel like you triumphed somehow because now you realize "that [you] just don't love him the way [you] used to." Absolutely reprehensible.

I hope his gf finds out and dumps his sorry ass, and I hope somewhere down the line you find yourself in that poor girl's same shoes.

chatondeneige - There's something very different between what you would tell a friend and what goes on in Sunday Confessionals like this where it's more like Sunday Condemnations. You don't know who this girl is, but she's a Sugar member and more than likely is reading all of this. Nobody's telling her their opinion because they care because how could you care about someone you don't even know who they are; they're just saying their opinion just to get it off their chest. Whatever. And as for what I would say to a friend that came to me with this situation, there's a time for tough love, sure. Not sure calling someone a "disgusting woman" and "trashy" is ANY kind of love, though. That's just my two cents. I think the personal attack rule of this site goes by the wayside on these posts, probably because Dear is asking for a verdict, but it just doesn't sit right with me. I guess it's because if these words DID hurt anyone, no one really knows how badly and can't apologize for what they said.

Hmm I don't agree with the reasoning that since the poster was the one who was single, she should be forgiven.

They both did wrong. In what world does sleeping with an ex bring closure to a relationship? I just don't understand that.

I hope karma gets you back.

FORGIVE.
I can't believe how many people are acting like he isn't the bigger one at fault here! He doesn't BELONG to anyone, she made his choice, that's a whole different story. Maybe he wasn't over her, and that's why he slept with her? Maybe he shouldn't be in a relationship. Who knows, who cares. You slept with your ex, that was your choice, you made it. You feel ok about the situation. Move on.

thank you for saying that annabreal I completely agree. I'm appalled by how the slaughter these girls for their mistakes, as if everyone here has lived a perfect life. There is a way to give your opinion with out being so awful.

annabreal/jodie -- I don't think that anyone is denying that what HE did was wrong, but the poster is asking about whether or not SHE can be forgiven. In light of her actions, I don't think she should be... but I don't believe that alcohol is an excuse for acting like a jerk (or an excuse for anything).

I do agree with you guys about the name calling on here though.

Alcohol is certainly not an excuse, but it is a cause in many cases. Thus comes the saying "When you drink don't park, accidents cause people"

I don't think you need forgiveness so much as this guy does. He is the one cheating on his girl. If you wanted to continue sleeping with him or wanted things to continue with him, it would be one thing. But like you said, you're over him and what you realized from it is that you don't love him. So... "not forgive" for the guy, and no need for forgiveness for you, in my opinion!

I put forgive but you have a lot of selfish justification for what you did. It was wrong and you should feel terrible. If someone did that to you I'm sure you would be devastated. Think that over.