Um, try calling him. Texting once and waiting is just a bad idea, and I don't always get texts, and sometimes I don't even get all phone calls (services issues). He was into you but you're the one that rejected him. You didn't say what the content of the last call and text message was, so it's quite difficult to judge. So just try calling him so you hear an actual voice. I would say the sex probably scared him away, but then again he contacted you after, so I don't know, unless I know the content of that contact. Call him back, to talk. Frankly, he wanted to hook up, but you rejected, so it's mainly in your hands whether or not you want to go further (if that's what he still wants). If he didn't want to talk to you, I don't blame him really, he's a free agent and probably just got tired of being strung along by you. CALL HIM.

It sounds like he likes you, but not enough. So yeah. Just not that into you.

You're right. He's just not that into you.

I should have called him ...
The last time he called me it was to tell me that he just bought an apartment n all ...
and the text said that he had a great time with me, but was on a flight to Toronto and would call me later ...
So should I call him even if I didn't recieve any reply to my last two texts?

Nope, wait for him to respond to you. Also, he asked you if you wanted to start dating properly and you said no and then you slept with him... you're giving him mixed signals too. Maybe he just doesnt want to get hurt or maybe he's just happy with the casual no title relationship you've presented to him. Either way, dont chase him now. Wait for him to contact you.

i agree with Fallen-he was quite happy to chase you at first so let him get in contact with you now-he might be confused to why you did sleep with him so if you hear from him i would explain why you did this after all if a guy said he idi not want to date you then slept with you you would think he was only after one thing-x

Surely he wouldn't have planned the perfect dates if he didn't like you? Maybe he liked the thrill of the chase. I wouldn't try and contact him again, let him come to you or you'll end up looking desperate.

Call him and ask him what the deal is. You are both adults, and if you want to hear from him again why not just call? Are you worried about not looking cool and aloof? Looking desperate? Get over it and go after it if its what you want. If he is 'that into you' he will appreciate you taking the lead. If not, then at least you got your answer and know that you did everything you could for this potential relationship.

He asked if you want to see him exclusively, and you said no.

There's your answer.

well he's probably into you and thinks you aren't into him in that way so he's trying to keep a distance. he asked you to be exclusive with him which means he really wants to be with you and the fact that he puts so much effort and thought into your dates means he cares about you. now you are worrying that he's not into you? you told him you didn't want to be exclusive when clearly thats what he wanted. you were the one that wasn't into it and i think he's confused because of the mixed messages. call him.

I agree with Sunday. Maybe HE felt a little used, he wanted something serious and you didn't, and now he probably feels like you are playing games with him.

He was not that into you, only what was in your pants. Captain obvious called and he wants you to stop hoping for this guy to call.

A part of me still hopes he will call CaterpillarGirl ...

You don't want to date him so why do you care?

I do now ... I think I realized that he is a great catch and I want to date him, but somehow I just feel used after our last date

rellicdragon - why do you hope he still calls? Ask yourself this question honestly. If its because you do want a relationship with him, you need to call him and tell him that. If its because you want a guy you rejected to be so into you that he will make all the moves (text messages are not real attempts, its half hearted) then you are probably just looking for the confidence boost and not a constructive relationship.

I hope its the first scenario above and if it is the case just call him. What do you have to lose?

You said you didn't want to see him exclusively, yet you went on a few dates after that was said, AND you slept together. Mixed signals.

I think after you said you didn't want to see him exclusively, he just tried to get in your pants after that. Just give up on this guy before you start to look desperate.

You should at least call and leave a message. I find hearing a voice is better than text messages which can often get lost in the wind. I rather prefer hearing a voice since it's more personal and I can at least hear the feelings etc, vs a text where it's open to whatever interpretation you want to put it. I say call, leave a VM, and then let him call you back, but in the mean time...carry on with life. I say give him a week. (Again he might not have gotten your texts...happens to me sometimes). After a week I say cut him off and move on. No excuse to call someone back after you've "heard" from them.

He has no reason to respond you don't want to date him. He is probably thinking that you only want occasional "hook ups".

just let him resurface, don't pursue him. he was into you if he asked you to be exclusive but now he's probably just checking out his other options. that's fair. by telling him you didn't want to be in a relationship, you've made it clear that you're checking out your other options also.

I don't how he isn't that into you it sounds like you aren't that into him. Imean the guy has been casually dating you for 6 years and asked to make it exclusive. if he wasn't into you he would have had sex with you years ago and then ignored you. I mean imagine what you would feel like if you found someone you really liked and made all kinds of efforts to be with him and took your time and treated him great and then when you asked him to be with you he said nah i don't think it's worth it. I mean the guy took your rejection in stride and still wanted to spend time with you. then again maybe after he found out you weren't into you he thought it would be ok to use you, maybe like he feels he's been used

You're the one who told him you didn't want to be exclusive, so maybe he decided he didn't want to deal with that?

Yea- you said you didn't want to date him. He asked you before sex if you wanted to be exclusive and you said no--remember that? So why don't you call him and admit to him what you said to us?

You told him you didn't want to date exclusively so why should he waste his time? If you want him, let him know if not, then move on.

Um...I think he is married.

Um...maybe he is married.

You feel used now? You are the one that told him you didn't want anything serious and then slept with him after he has hung around trying to just date you for 6 (!!!!!) whole years. He sounds pretty into you to me, but then you rejected him, and he finally gave up. I would have given up after 6 years of trying too!
I agree with what bransugar said too.

I would think about this if I were you and make sure that you do actually like him and want him now, and that you aren't just feeling this way b/c you can't have him anymore. Especially after 6 yrs I think it's pretty likely that you are just missing the undying attention he gave you.
I wouldn't contact him just yet. I would wait a while (a while, as in at least a couple months)and then see if you still feel the same way, if you do still like him and think it could work, then go ahead and contact him then. But I'm betting you won't be missing him after a while and you will move on and find some guy you really like instead of just wanting what you can't have.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."

It sounds like he's a player that's obsessed with the chase, and then over it after he has sex. A genuine person wouldn't pull back right after you have sex, b/c he knows that's going to weird a girl out. I would try to withdraw from him and start seeing other guys.

You're not that into him.

You are the "guy" in this relationship...you are ambivalent for 6 years in spite of all of the effort he made planning dates, said you don't want anything serious, yet have sex with him, and now you want him because he is not available.

YOU.ARE.THE.GUY. Once you have him, I suspect you will become ambivalent again.

(No offense,GScott!)

I have got to agree with SweetB, the impression I got after reading your post is that he might be married or involved with someone else. Have you ever been to his house? Do you have his home phone number or just his cell phone number?

I am confused about why you care about him phoning if you don't actually want an exclusive relationship with him. If you like him so much and he is so great, what is holding you back? There must be something you don't like or don't trust about him aside from just the long distance thing. Pay attention to your feelings, they will give you the answer. Also, I agree with others who said that, because you told him you did not want a relationship, maybe he thinks you just want casual sex once in a while. I don't really understand how you could be dating someone for 6 years (is that what you mean?) but not actually be in a relationship or want to be in one!? Once again, have you been to his home???

I really don't think he's married. He wanted to date you obviously.

However, I am fascinated by the lack of communication afterwards. I don't mean to be rude, but was it bad sex? People are known to dip if it wasn't up to their expectations. Not implying, just throwing out a possible scenario.

Secondly, I really think he's seeing someone now, though. And he's entitled to it. I just think you liked the attention and power it gave you. I am impressed he hung around for 6 years. I doubt he did it JUST for the sex, nobody is worth 6 years of bojanglin' for a 30 second orgasm. Not to be rude, but you seem to have yourself on this pedestal and maybe I'm wrong, but it's just how it seems to me. He probably just told you he had an apt now to rub it in your face and show you what you missed out on, a stable guy who liked you enough to pine after you for six years, gave you what every girl wanted, and then came to his senses.