THIS is the question i get the most lately. from people in my family that already have kids "when are you going to give my kid a playmate?" to my grandmother "am I ever going to see a great grandkid from you" to my mom "are you guys trying?" To my niece "I want another cousin"

Do they want me to prove to them that We are trying? get busy right there on the thanksgiving table, A$$cheeks in the stuffing?

what about people who never want kids? i can see that being tough to dodge!

we're still deciding about having children (various finacial and medical issues are in the way). my family is not in a hurry about this AT ALL, it's almost like they don't even want us to have kids so they don't have to babysit! on the other hand, my in laws have started mentioning "when ya'll have kids..." in every conversation. I'm dreading spending the holidays with them because I know this is going to come up! I can diffuse it one-to-one, but I have no idea what to say if someone says something at the dinner table!

I think this question is so incredibly rude and inconsiderate and nobody, aside perhaps from the bestest of best friends, should EVER ask it. This is what YOU will tell someone else when YOU are ready to discuss it. People are asking me this all the time, and it makes me so angry. For starters, my husband and I live in a long-distance relationship, and they are already hounding me because shouldn't we be thinking about starting a family now? For starters, I'm only 25... my ovaries are not shriveling up. I work 80+ hours/week in a chemistry lab with teratogenic chemicals on a daily basis, and I have ZERO interest in being a single mother while my husband works 100 hours/week as a medical resident several states away. Yes morons, now sounds like the PERFECT time for us to start a family. But more so than that, I've had several health problems which may mean that I can never conceive, and even if I can, my mother suffered many (7 or miscarriages and was only ever able to have one child, and what if I'm the same way? What if I go through several miscarriages, and people are STILL asking me, after suffering miscarriages, when I'm going to stop being selfish and start popping out children so my parents can be grandchildren, etc? It is only the business of the individuals in the marriage, and they should never have to inform anyone else of their plans and decisions for children unless they decide to share on their own accord.

People, this is SO RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE to ask!!!

on second thought, I am going to discuss this with my husband before we go to spend the holidays with his family, and he will have something planned out to say in response. I think he should be the one to deal with questions from his family.

Julie - agreed. I don't even like my best friend asking these questions. It seems very invasive to me.

My favourite line is "My reproductive status is not your concern". That shuts them up pretty quick

Never wanted kids, and still don't.

I have my family - my parents, my boyfriend, my kitty cat and friends, a family doesn't have to be offspring.

I've been married for three years, and my little sister is working on child #2, and my husband and I are financially secure and have just bought a house.

BUT.

I always laugh and tell people I'm too young for kids, and that I'm having too much fun as it is, and we need to remodel before we even think about kids, etc.

The fact that my husband and I are thinking of getting a dog, however, has sent everyone into a tizzy. The fact that we just like animals is not something people are considering - they see it as a starter kid. And don't get me started on the fact that I have a second bedroom! People call it the "baby room" and I want to punch them!

That question really is incredibly rude! I dont even ask my friends that questions!

"A$$ cheeks in the stuffing"... loves it!

I don't think the question is super rude or anything, people just want to know. The only person who asks me is my 8-year-old cousin and she's cute about it, she says, "When are you gonna have your childs? and What are you gonna name your childs?" lol

my older cousin though gets this alot, she's 27 this year (that's old in Texas) and they've been on her for the past two years, but I get the feeling she doesn't want kids at all...

I think it would only bother me if I had been trying and was unsuccessful, then it might hit a nerve!

I don't think it's rude to ask if you're just curious and you're close to whomever you're asking. Asking a complete stranger or acquaintance is a bit rude, but asking family isn't. Of course the way you ask is a factor, but overall they're just excited for you/the family and the idea of it all. You should be flattered they want you to procreate, haha!

julieulie, you have a good point...and your comment gave me goosebumps! it's true. it's rude and inconsiderate (as are the questions about your job, dating, getting engaged etc.) but this is something that could be a particularly sore spot for people who wish to conceieve and cannot. it's very personal and can be very traumatizing if the question is asked on the wrong day or at the wrong time.

even when i knew a coworker/good friend was trying with her husband, i didn't ask too many questions because i was always worried the answer was going to be "we went to the doctor and they told us we couldn't get pregnant"...i never want to be put in that situation and i would never want her (or anyone) to have to talk about something so deeply personal and possibly painful

oh yah, and lawchick - i was going to mention the same thing to you before you wrote that...just have your husband field those ones, because it's just awkward to be put into that situation in front of everyone! plus, it's easier for guys to shut a conversation down really quickly, whereas girls are always expected to want to talk it out.

oh yah, and lawchick - i was going to mention the same thing to you before you wrote that...just have your husband field those ones, because it's just awkward to be put into that situation in front of everyone! plus, it's easier for guys to shut a conversation down really quickly, whereas girls are always expected to want to talk it out.

Lucky me- my parents are in the process of adopting an infant, so I doubt hubby and I will be getting the baby question for a while!

" I really love kids, but I have no desire ever in life to be pregnant but if you are willing to loan out your uterus so that you can carry my child I'll be happy to have one now!"

LOL funny thing is I get this question year around, don't let a cute baby pop up on tv or a cute pregnant lady walk down the street my mom dad and aunt's have lost their minds. LOL I actually told my mom and aunt just this month:

" well if your uterus' weren't either gone or dried up you could carry my baby for me" they both laughed uncontrollably

Thank god my family is not in a hurry about this kind of thing. I'm with Julie- I work in a lab and do not want to be pregnant around most of the stuff I work with. I could take more precautions in the lab, but I don't want to risk it.

I have given up the ghost and begun to take a twisted enjoyment out of bursting people's bubbles that ask this question. My responses range from "Kids? Why are you trying to take away my 8 hours of sleep a night?" or just a more blunt "Ummm....NO!"
Why is it that some people don't see NOT having children as an option? We should all be able to make that decision for ourselves with no judgment!

When we are ready I would like to be married first however a stable loving relationship is more important than a tittle.

I HATE this question...I have been married for 7 years and the heat is really on this year...drives me bonkers

The other day, my mom told me that I should get going on the kid thing or they may have down syndrome - LOL. She had my brother when she was 36, and he turned out a total genius, so I'm not freaking out just yet. Only means I have 5 more years to wait if I want to have a kid with a 185 IQ.

I think this is a rude question too. So many people CANT have them that it just seems rude to meddle.

This question used to irritate me SO MUCH that when asked my response would be "I don't know, when do you plan to take a c**p next?"

I get asked this at least once a day, so the holidays won't be any different.

I can only say "never" so many ways: I never want kids. I want kids never. Never is the time that I'm going to want kids.

I remembered last year, I was getting the "when are you getting married?" question alot. Now that I got engaged and when i get married, im probably definitely getting the "when are you going to have children?". and the battle never ends...

I like that word, "eventually." I'll be using that one this season!

i hate this question too.
why do people care if i have a baby? will they be taking care of the child? will they wake up in the middle of the night? will they feed and change and bathe the baby? NO! then leave me alone. when im ready to do that sh*t i'll do it. ur nagging doesnt help.

Thinking about it, everyone I have known for any amount of time gave up bugging me about it a LONG time ago.

Personally if I am asked such a question now I think I would say something like "Well..I thought about having kids but ultimately I think I might freak out and eat them or something. You know, like spiders."

I think that'll shut them up.

LMAO Shadow, I like you more every post I read. hehehehe

I'm one of the people who don't want kids and neither does my husband. But everytime we try explaining this to friends and family, they laugh and say that we secretly do and all this bs. My husband and I are 25, and we would rather spend money traveling, but it seems like all of our friends are trying to make us change our minds. These are the people who had kids at a young age and never left the state. I sometimes think they are jealous of us being able to buy whatever we want, and how often we go out of town. Oh well, I guess that is their problem.

Eventually does sound good.

Both my mom and Gramma love to hint that "they're not getting any younger"...thing is, I'm 25 and single. Its funnier that they are 43 and 65, respectively...I'm pretty sure they have plenty of time to enjoy grands and greats!!! hahaha

My family has never asked--I think it's because they know I'd be a horrible mother.

I laughed when I read this, because my first thought was something smart-ass along the lines of "oh, we'll probably get started on that right after everyone leaves from Thanksgiving dinner." Then I remembered that my husband was conceived after a Thanksgiving dinner. We know this because every year on Thanksgiving his mom calls to sing "happy birthday" and remind him of the circumstances that brought him into existence. It is one of the few things in life that actually makes him blush. I think it is hilarious.

how about "remind me again how the whole baby making thing works, would you? you had a couple of kids, what was the secret?"

for Mykie

I told my parents I don't want to have kids because I don't want to ruin my body -the looks on their faces was priceless. IF I choose to have children then I will most likely adopt anyway - but I think the best response just for fun is something totally awful like "I hate kids." or "I refuse to get fat!"

(Oh and I don't really meant that ha! I like kids and I don't think getting fat should be a reason to not have them but I just have zero desire to give birth to my own when there are so many children out there that need parents and don't have them).

geebers, you are a lovely person. As an adopted child, I am grateful that there are people out there like you!

"When are you going to start making more babies to ask these questions to?"

my man and i are at the point where we would love to start a family ASAP. we're actually doing what we need to right now to have kids sooner rather than later.

actually--my parents and my hubbys parents are like 'please dont have kids for a while' haha. i dont think either of them are a) ready to be a grandparents and b) think we're ready to be parents

the only one who asks questions like that is my grandfather cause he wants to be a great-grandparent and im his only grandchild whos married haha

I'm the oldest grandkid and also the only one who is married, so everyone is assuming that I'll have kids first.

I always say I'll have kids when I finish college and work for at least two years. That's going to be my excuse for at least the next three years.

It makes me so uncomfortable when people ask me this question!

I think it's my mom's goal to be a grandma before she's 50.