Oh good lord. You saw a couple of online pics and now your life is changing? You need to snap back into reality. You have no idea when those pictures were taken or what his situation is. Many, many people gain weight as they age. Sometimes medication can cause weight gain. Maybe those pictures weren't even him - you said yourself he was hardly recognizable.

I don't know why you're such a sappy romantic - "I love him, if I call him we'll be together, but we can never be together . . ." blech. I say end your current relationship and get into therapy.

Luisa's on a roll today. I don't think so much as you need therapy, but the way you're talking, I don't really sense much love for your current boyfriend. You're so stuck on this guy you need to get over all this. You probably should break up or at least realize what you have at least now. Nevermind, you're just totally confused. Figure your life out. You're letting men run your life. Maybe you should do therapy if you find this keeps going on.

Yeah, change tends to happen (physically, mentally) over time as we move *forward* with our lives. Stop living in the past.

Don't worry about people who aren't even part of your life, worry about yourself. I'm afraid for *your* health. You sound like you're very close to tracking down his address and camping outside of his window.

Are you sure he can be classified as 'obese'?

Anyway I know TONS of dudes who gain weight as they get older. Mostly from eating and drinking the same as they did in college, and doing less exercise (and sitting at a desk most of the day). It's just part of life, honestly.

it's weird that you believe so strongly that you would DEFINITELY get back together as a couple if you contacted him. don't contact him just cuz he's fat, because i'm sure he knows and it's not rocket science how to get back into shape. if he was ill and needed your support, he would have come to you. just leave it. obviously this relationship has a hold on you and if you know you cant be together, then don't bother putting yourself in that situation.

I understand your concern for this guy, but there's a reason he's not in your life now. Think about the reasons you broke up, it must have been important if you felt so strongly for him but still decided to walk away. has anything changed? besides his physique. I don't think you're crazy, but you're jumping the gun a bit. ask him out for coffee, AS A FRIEND. and see if there's something you can do to help. but DO NOT even think about getting back into a relationship with this guy for now.

Your not "concerned" about his health, your just dissapointed that your first love is a fatty and there goes that fantasy.

quit cyberstalking the poor guy and worry about your own life.

i am there too i was in a relationship for six months ,and we have been split for 2 and1/2 years now.i cry every night and day when i think about him although he had change his phone cell since september..
well in my opinion you cant forget him,but you have to live ..this is my advice...

CaterpillarGirl said it right.

GET OVER IT! Stop crying in bed and get on with your life.

wow chick honestly you sound deranged or something.
Grow up and get real.

I'm sorry, but an ex is an ex for a reason - LEAVE HIM ALONE.

And the whole "I'll never love anyone as much as I loved him!" is total BS. Different people will inspire different loves, but they can and will be equally deep and intense in their own way. Maybe you don't have that type of love right now, but it will come. And if you really think you'll never love your current bf that much, he's just not the one for you. Let him go and cut everyone's losses.

Maybe take some time to be by yourself and lay off the boys?

how exactly would this conversation go anyway..."Hello, I know we broke each other's hearts a few years ago but I saw a picture of you online and WOW, you're really fat and I want to be your weight loss coach." Seriously?

i think that you have some issues you need to work out. the fact that you have never been able to feel the same way about anyone else the way you felt about him is the issue, especially because you are in a relationship with someone where it doesn't seem like you care very much about him. i say end the relationship. work out your issues. go to therapy... whatever it is that you need. i think that you are the type of person that always needs to be in a relationship just for the sake of having someone and the reason you never got over your ex was because you never gave yourself time to. instead you went after every guy that you came across then continued to compare them.

think about the reasons you broke up. think about how different you are now than you were then, and also know that he is also different than when you knew him... both physically and definitely mentally and emotionally. you don't even know him anymore so don't assume you "will definitely get back together if you called" and don't assume that it will work this time around either.

take some time to be single that way you aren't jumping into things and lying to your current boyfriend. when you are ready, call your ex and see if you can meet for coffee. take that time to catch up and get to know him and if you really need to, discuss the breakup that way you can both have the closure you want, and you can finally move forward with your life instead of being stuck whether with him or with someone else.

If you guys were so crazy about each other then why did you break up? Obviously there is a reason(s) why you aren't together anymore so maybe you need to focus on that instead of how much you miss him.

Occasionally when I start thinking about my exes I'll get all sappy and sentimental and start to miss them...then I remember why we broke up and get over it!

As my boyfriend always says, if your current relationship doesn't measure up to your past relationship or you don't love hte person as much..you are in the wrong relationship. You should be moving forward and loving how much this new person is not lookig back wistfully thinking how great your first love was.

Sure we all have soft spots for our first love...but that should be it, a soft spot, a warm feeling you pull out once in a while. Not making you cry in bed at night. You don't sound like you are over him and haven't dealt with some of the issues of the breakup. But from the sounds of it you are trying to get back into his life...what help really could you be to him. Do you think you can SAVE him because of your relationship? Sorry but if you guys broke up two years ago and haven't kept in contact I am sure there are people (friends, girlfriends (yes he could have moved on..) or family) that could be of more support to him then you.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi

if you are not currently talking to him then you two are not even friends. you "worrying about his health" is really just you wanting to be a hero and save him. i'm guessing that you broke up with him and feel so bad about it that you want to show him that you're a good person who does care about his well-being.

definitely forget about his own issues. see, his issues, not yours. and stop checking him out online.

I think you are using the pictures as an excuse to get back in touch with him and get back together. Concern for his health is really just a justification. If you really want him back, then be honest with yourself and just do it.

telewyo NAILED this one. What exactly would you say when contacting him? Trust me--we fat people? We know we're fat already. We don't need to be reminded of that, PARTICULARLY by exes!! Stay away from him.

Umm...what everyone's already said. People KNOW when they gain weight!! You have to buy new clothes, your old "skinny" clothes are staring you in the face, if you don't throw them away. So you are going to contact him and say you were stalking him online, found him and noticed he got fat and ask if he's okay??? Are you f*cking serious?

I agree with CaterpillarGirl. You KNOW you aren't concerned with his weight. You say "i KNOW we will get back together.." it seems like thats what you want, and you're waiting for our approval (for whatever reason.)You seem to be waiting for us to say "oh you need to help him!! he needs you!! you're not creepy for cyberstalking him and pretending like you dont want him back!" .. not going to happen. What would you even say? "Hey you're pretty morbidly obese and I feel like you needed to hear it from me JUUUUST incase you didn't notice already:)!"

mind your own business :| Grandma would call you a busy-body!

I had the same thing happened to me. This was 15 years ago and he broke up with me on the phone. At the time, didn't ask why or what happened but I assumed he was tired of me or something. Anyway, two years later I met my husband and been married for 13 years. I still think about him, dream, and I saw him about a week ago but I can't have much of a conversation with him because I'm scared what could happened.

I still have these feelings for him but I know he is not for me.

I think some people are very harsh when they comment. Cant you be a hopeless romantic and hope that you will be together one day.. If you know that you cant love anyone as much as you loved him, etc. why not go for him?? why would you want to spend your life wondering what it would have been like if you got back together?? or if you had never contacted him?? contact him.. that does not mean you neeed to break up with your boyfriend. talk to him... see how he is.. and if it gets further than that, then break up with your boyfriend and figure things out with him.. good luck..

Leave him alone, trust me, he knows he's over-weight.

Wouldn't it probably be a bit of an awkward phone call? "Hey I was stalking you online and did you know you're really FAT??" I don't get what you're trying to do to the guy.

don't contact him and move on.