If your already married and have a job, the next question would then be, "When are you going to start having children?" I don't think you're ever exempt from being questioned during the holidays, or whenever! : P

i would use the humor answers like you mention last
but i would also be feeling awkward if this came in front of my boyfriend, so i'd say something like "i dunno, but way to put us on the spot!" or something "way to make this awkward!" ...

This questions sucks big time. Our parents dont ask us but other family members, co workers and friends do. We've been together close to 5 years but I just dont want to yet..i always answer "im ok right now, IM ok right now"..jeez..we got this question this past weekend even..

Ugh, I hated this question! I dated my husband for 8 years before we got married, but it started in high school so we were really young. I thought our age would keep the questions at bay, but nope! Now we're both 24 and married for less than 6 months and all I get is pointed comments about babies! I think no matter where you are in life there's going to be a tough question about something. You just have to learn to handle it with grace and dignity... something I'm still learning in my youth

Whoops, so what I mean is ditto to you Sonya!

"Granny we are going to get married as soon as your die and give up that family heirloom that grandpa gave you so I can wear it on my engagement finger."

these questions may be minimized if you went ahead and sent the following e-card to all your nosy relatives:

"In advance of our annual awkward Thanksgiving conversation, thought I'd let you know up front that yes, I'm still single, and no, I still havent gotten a real job"

http://www.someecards.com/upload/thanksgiving/in_advance_of_our_annual.h...

I think this is a very rude and intrusive question! Marriage is not something that should be rushed into and this just may make some people feel like they HAVE to do it hastily. Personally I would just laugh it off and just say "When I am good and ready." Cut and dry.

When am I getting engaged? When you buy us a house for a wedding present!

well since am in Africa we dont celebrate thanksgiving but that question gets asked when u attend a friends wedding ... and anyone can ask that question from the old folks to your own single friends..its a bit annoying, but i got engaged in sept. so finally... but its very diff here.... here your boyfriend's parents visit your parents with a bottle of whisky or local Schnapps and formally ask for your hand in marriage from your parents ..your parents then ask you if you agree the proposal, if you say yes, your boyfriend's parents give you an amount of cash to say thank you, then your parents give them a list of things to buy to come wed you traditionally, then thats it you are engaged!

skigurl! I love someecards

We averted this situation. My husband proposed to me on Thanksgiving. Try it out, it definitely defers the questioning for a bit...

Oh my goodness. Already married, so I get the kids question. I'm 19, and my husband is 20, and his family thinks we need to pop out babies already. One of my husbands younger cousins got his girlfriend pregnant, and the family uses that to say things like:

"So, are they giving you any ideas?"
No, they're not.

"When are YOU two gonna have kids?"
Later maybe. When you stop asking.

I hated that question, my family drove me crazy.

My family and his family don't flat out ask us if we are going to get engaged, but they skirt around the issue by making comments like "When you and your fiance ..." or "You're next!" But we are so used to it that it really doesn't make us feel uncomfortable or anxious, we just laugh it off because we know that if/when we take that step it will be down the road when we are totally ready!

Ugh, I hate that question. Cause I fall under ready for an engagement, mine. But it's usually my bf coworkers to ask that question at their xmas dinner party. I'm pretty sure they'll all ask the same question for the third time. I just put on a smile, a fake one.

"we don't have anything to announce right now".

And, if you're already married, have a job and a baby, the next question is, "so, when are you going to have the next one?" My Grandma asked me that question 3 months after I had my daughter. I couldn't believe it!

I avoid when am I having children with "I don't have insurance until February" so. Who wants to force a poor insuranceless couple to breed? Nobunny.

i hate this question

Same thing as when they ask when I want to settle, er, settle down and have kids: five years after the last person asks.

I was never asked this question, and I've never heard of anyone being asked when they will get engaged.... pretty silly. Now, I've heard lots of "have you set a date yet?" for people who are already engaged, but not the other.

i hope the question does come up, because my boyfriend will be eating with us... so ill just pass it on to him to answer.

SO sick of this question!

"DO you have a girlfriend do you have a girlfriend? Who's that girl, she's your girlfriend, blah blah" Gawd... -_- LoL, family gossip is just fun isn't it...

If you get married and have a kid, the next question is "When are you going to have another one?"

Then the cycle continues as people wonder when your kids are going to date and get jobs and get married and have kids.

Ug.

I was engaged for, like the past 3 years, and now we're not anything anymore. Broken up.

Now THAT question's gonna be REALLY fun to answer!

"when gay marriage is leagal in the US'

"i perfer to live in delicious sin"

"why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?"

ah family.

I always used to answer, "I'll tell you when he lets me know." I think I may use that again for when people start asking when we're having a baby.

i HATE this question - we don't get it from family, but moreso from my single girlfriends- we have only been together for 3 years and just because we are serious and living together they always ask this- it's very annoying

I'm in this boat also. I don't *think* I'll be asked this over Thanksgiving by any of his family (that's who we're spending it with) but I get asked it ALL THE TIME from friends. Just today I heard from a friend I hadn't spoken to in a few months and the first thing she asked was if I was engaged yet. (And then proceeded to demand she be told immediately after it actually happens.)

I fall in to the awkward position of being ready but waiting for the boyfriend to take that next step. So when I'm asked it doesn't really bother me. (Now if he hasn't proposed within the next few years then I'll be upset. ) I tend to answer with "ask [my boyfriend]" or "whenever [my boyfriend] decides to propose". It's truthful and slightly humorous and puts no pressure on anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I just chalk it up to being a part of being a member of a close social network. There's always some kind of nagging question to be asked. And in the end the person that's asking isn't trying to be rude, they do have your best in mind.

ugh. I was horrified to get this from a friend about six months ago.. my relationship had been faltering for quite some time and I said 'I have some news' with 'that' face - her reaction was to ask if we were engaged!

I was like, "um, no. We broke up. Couldn't you see it coming? There were so many signs! that we discussed in detail every time that you and I met up even!"

I tend to think you're either insensitve or a fool if you ask this one. It's like asking if someone is pregnant - if they are, chances are they'll let you know when they're good and ready. And if they're not? well, way to make things awkward!

I like socktree's answer - 5 years after the last person asks, LOL.

too funny!

It's super annoying to hear this question at EVERY family gathering. Wish I had a witty (yet respectable) little retort to shut people up! I do like the suggestion of "When I'm good and ready" and " I prefer to live in sin". Thanks!

We've been together nearly a year and I think we'll duck out of this question. It's obvious that he's going to propose at some point but I'm not done with grad school yet so we'll be fine.

I get asked this all the time. It makes for a really awkward conversation.

My new answer to this question is that we're protesting gay marriage being outlawed and will get married when everyone has equal rights. It buys me some time to put off getting married and makes a lot of people really uncomfortable, enough to get them to never ask ME that question again!

My family in Illinois had a get-together dinner for the Jewish High Holidays in October and apparently my Grandma decided that my boyfriend and I were engaged and kepy refering to him as my fiancé... haha, oh boy. Good thing I live in California and wasn't there, haha. If anything my Grandma and my uncle would be all about asking engagement questions. We usually go to the boy's family Thanksgiving most years and it just doesn't come up like that.

I get this question a lot more from my friends than my family - even from my ex!! I saw him a few weeks ago and the first thing he said to me was "so, I see you still don't have a ring!" Um, excuse me?? The other day a friend asked "so has (boyfriend) said anything about getting married?" ... Yeah, we've talked about it but we can barely afford the necessities right now let alone a wedding!

This is a touchy subject. I think if you both feel you're ready and are both committed to thew relationship, talking about when to get married, or engaged is a healthy thing. Just don't promise you'll be ready by a certain month and suddenly change your mind.

"When are you going to start minding your own business?" Gawd I can't wait to be a smartass this holiday.

I love the "gay marriage" response. Why should I feel pressured to sign a piece of legal paperwork, when my entire Republican family doesn't believe that everyone that wants to be married should have the right? Plus, if and when I do decide to get married, they'll all insist I get married in a church by the family pastor, which happy to burst your bubble, will never happen!