Refuse to perform oral sex on him, say you "just don't like it". Also, express to him that it is important both of your needs are met. I would withhold sex until he was more willing to meet my needs.. Why meet his if he is so selfish?

WOW! a very good question! I would say if you have an agreement with your husband that it will be just pure sex, it is okay. But I think..you ought to look at why you want oral sex so much from him. I think maybe you're addicted to having a fantasy? or maybe you're seeking some sort of risks in your life? I think there is more to it than just oral sex though.

And by the way do you wax? Have you gone "hollywood?" Some men won't do it unless you've waxed honey

umm ... what?

Just tell your husband that you miss it... don't fid some random guy to do it.

I totally get you with the wanting oral thing-but it isn't worth cheating. It is worth withholding sex/throwing a fit/stopping something else he loves that you do. But compromise- go brazilian, do 69 so he gets action, and give him a ton of positive reinforcement.

But DON'T cheat!

Cheating is never the way to go. You realize you can contract many STDs or STIs through mouth to genital contact right? Including syphyllis, herpes, and gonhorrea.

Talk to your husband, like an adult, and find a compromise.

Good luck

Uh yeah that is just a bit wrong, and slutty. If your husband is in the room then that's one thing, but otherwise it's cheating. You chose to marry someone who did not like oral sex, you made your bed so you get to lie in it...with only your husband:)

Yes, it's wrong and NO, not forgive!

i'm with brittb7
withhold.
it's been rumored to be really really bad for relationships, but HELLO? you're married. and he's not working at pleasing you at all the way you KNOW you like. no blow jobs for him, and if that doesn't affect him stop in the middle of sex. he's doing nothing for you, so do nothing in return.

Is this person for real???! You can NOT forgive that it's called CHEATING and you're MARRIED!

Is this person for real???! You can NOT forgive that it's called CHEATING and you're MARRIED!

Hey what about people who don't mind swapping and orgies? I don't do them because I don't see the need not because it is dirty. I don't get turn on at all by the ideas ( in fact it makes me giggle more than anything else) but I don't think it's wrong if this girl and her husband just think what the heck, it's just for sex!

Don't cheat, but I'd be like hey, sooo...I suck your d*ck, when can I get a little action? Ask what you can do to make it more comfortable for him, and explain that it is well worth the effort for what he gets in the end. I don't think not having sex is the way to accomplish what you are looking for. Cheating is DEFINITELY not the answer either.

I don't think this girl is suggesting she is going to cheat? She is saying is it wrong if she does it with maybe her husband knowing this or maybe bringing the subject up to him that she wanna do this with another boy. I don't thinks she's saying i'm going to do it behind his back? Am I reading this wrong?

I would say.. talk to your husband this is what would make you go wild.. do things with him that excite him.. cheating is definitely not the solution to your problem. You'd end up feeling guilty anyway.

Not forgive ....Why is it when there is a problem within a marriage some people choose the low road and decide that it is a better alternative to cheat rather than sit their partner down and communicate with them about what they are feeling and what they expect out of the relationship.It just boggles the mind.

There's no plausible excuse for what you did to your husband.I'm assuming that you knew BEFORE you married him how he felt about oral sex.So put on your big girl panties and start acting like a wife instead of a skank or get a divorce so some random man can dine out as much as you want him to without the guilt .....

Is the husband demaning oral sex and yet refusing to reciprocate? I'd withhold oral sex from HIM and see how he likes it.

If he still refuses to do it, talk to him about what exactly you're needing. Maybe you guys can come to some sort of arrangement.

BUT DON'T CHEAT on your husband, whatever you do! I doubt there's that many guys that will *just* go down on you, no questions asked...i would think that usually there's some reciprocation involved @_@.

WTF?! Talk to your husband about it...and if it is something he truely doesn't enjoy...talk about other ways to make you feeld good. You let this fester for 4 years?! The poor man probably thinks he is doing a great job...and suddenly its "you aren't good enough"

unless he is ok with you running off and having some random guy go down on you...its cheating. How would you feel if your husband ran off to have anal sex with some chick cuz you don't like it without tell you?

Not forgive. This is blatant cheating, not to mention you're exposing yourself (and your husband, assuming you're still having -other- sex) to sexually transmitted diseases!!!

That being said...I would totally not give him any oral sex, and I'd buy a vibrator or 5, including the "mini tongue".

Haha, the title makes me laugh.

Not forgive, dude.

Your husband sounds like a very selfish lover. To only try it once and then just give up on your pleasure? That's just not right.

Not forgive! Its cheating no matter how you look at it.

ummm hello- cheating?

God I love oral ...

It's totally forgivable to want it from someone . . . its not forgivable to cheat on your husband to get it.

Divorce this husband.

You CHOSE to marry a guy who doesn't want to do this. It absolutely kills me when people don't talk about the issues (sex, wanting kids, money, where you should live) before they tie the knot. You made the choice at some point that you were ok with this. If you want oral sex, that's totally not a bad thing. But you have to talk to your husband about how you can work this out, not go get your needs fulfilled by some other dude.

Not forgive -- what you're talking about is cheating.

Maybe just maybe you should have thought about the importance of oral sex BEFORE you got married. Dont be dumb please.

I voted undecided, I absolutely do not think she intends to cheat on him or do anything without his knowledge, I think the question really is: Is it ok to go to someone else when my partner can't give me what I need?

Still undecided on this one.. Because if you go to someone else, and your husband knows about it and is ok with it, is it ok for you to be with a man that willingly gives you away to some other man? (And how would that ad look like? "Pretty, married woman, some age, searching for handsome man to give her oral" ? ) If he knows and is not ok with it, it's cheating = divorce. If he doesn't know and finds out = divorce, and if he doesn't know and never will know it will probably tear you apart.

Try talking to him again. Try brazilian. Try withholding oral on him/other things. If that doesn't work and you realize you can't live without, you have to find someone else, for this activity only or permanently. I know how you feel, I've been there, now I'm single (wasn't married though).

I agree with Diedre...you knew what you were getting into, when you married him. It sucks that you're not satisfied sexually but you can't just cheat now because your husband won't do something, you knew he was never going to do.

I vote do not forgive this is something you were so supposed to take into consideration BEFORE you got married.

It seems like this built up so much in her mind that it's become some kind of fantasy. She doesn't say whether she does oral to him, so I'm not positive that he's just not reciprocating. I say talk to him, and if that doesn't work, get some toys and do it yourself. I just cannot fathom that oral sex is more important than your whole marriage to the point you would cheat to do it. Because you're just not going to have some guy go down on you, end of story. That's totally unrealistic.

why did you marry him if you knew he didn't like giving oral sex?

Um, number 1, that's cheating, number 2, if he doesn't enjoy doing it, it sounds really childish to withhold sex, and besides, isn't it better if both people enjoy it?

Grow up, cheating is wrong, maybe you shouldn't have married him.

With holding is childish but I think it is perfectly acceptable to not perform oral on him if he refuses to do it for you.

forgive-from what i read and understand she hasn't done anything yet.....

in all honesty....with all that you do...he may never do it. don't force him into something he wouldn't want to do. you wouldn't want to be forced would you?!

some men just don't like it no matter what! if its that big of issue....causing realtionship problems with you and hubby.....and i think it is. you're already thinking of another man going down on you. fantasy's are okay.....but hopefully as a married woman you would chose not to act on it.

go to some adult stores, online, catalogs......look for something that would mimic oral sex. they do have them out there.....just gotta look for them!

then strap that baby on and let him watch!

i understand your needs are not being met but cheating aint the right way to solve the problem.Talk to him.Read cosmo on how to make him give it to you.Good luck girl!

You're considering CHEATING on your husband because he won't perform oral sex on you?...*shakes head* It's kind of baffling. I'm assuming you knew he didn't enjoy this act of love before you married him...so it's your own fault for marrying him knowing it would be hard for you to live without it.

I think a better way of going about getting what you want is asking him why he doesn't enjoy it. Don't get mad if he says you have an odor, your too hairy, or doesn't like the way you taste. It's how he feels.

Does burying your face in a vagina appeal to you? Not me lol.

If he doesn't get over it then you'll need to decide if it's really that important to you. If it is and you can't live without it then you need to move on. DUMB reason to divorce but true. If you can live without it then great.

Ok so... Let me get this straight. You're thinking about cheating. On Your HUSBAND. For not licking something that most guys joke about and call a clam. Right that makes sense. So... If you've gone 4 years without him doing it why would it matter now? Obviously your ex boyfriend didn't do something right or you wouldn't be married and complaining about the fact that he doesn't enjoy the mystery meat in your taco. Sweets let me break it down. Grow up. Maybe he had a bad experience? Maybe he doesn't like your trim? Maybe I don't know he just doesn't want to? If you're thinking about cheating over something so stupid you don't deserve to be married in the first place.

Oral sex is still a form of sex. How the hell is that forgivable??? Some guys don't like giving just the same way some women don't like giving. I don't think that the only problem in this relationship is the lake of oral sex. I think there's way more that this chick isn't letting on.

I guess he's an ass for being selfish and not meeting your needs, but you married him. If it is that big of a deal get divorced. Whether people want to admit it or not sex is important.

You could always have a threesome...that way you get oral sex, he can watch, he gets action too and everyone is happy, male or female whichever one you prefer

Definitely forgive you for wanting oral sex. No problem. But to consider cheating on your husband to get it? Uh, NO!

Well I voted undecided because like so many others have pointed out its a form of cheating, but I understand the wanting oral sex part. If you weren't married then it might be a little different.

I voted undecided because it is cheating (unless you have an understanding or something) but if he won't do that for you it's a BIG deal in my book -- oral sex is, like, one total half of the sex equation! (or maybe one third, I don't know) -- practice makes perfect or at least more comfortable with it & he can figure out what makes it better for him & for you....if he won't do that or doesn't think to do that then he's not really looking out for you sexually, which probably means he's not looking out for you in other ways as well, such as emotionally, which can be tough. which is probably why you're even in this situation to ask this question in the first place!

i bet you'll find you need a lot more than oral sex...but that is an excellent place to start !

COUNSELLING!!

Why would you want to get it from some other dude? I'd be more upset about the fact that my husband doesn't want to do it than the fact that I'm not getting it... know what I mean? Your relationship with your husband is more important than the relationship between some stranger's tongue and your vagina.

Suggest having a shower together and maybe him trying it in there? Maybe he'd feel more comfortable and your problem would be solved

I didn't read everyone's posts, so forgive me if someone already said this..
But..
Seriously, didn't you know about this before you got married??
That's ridiculous that you didn't know...
Dating is the time to learn all these things and not bring any legal titles into it, children and so on and so on.

Sit him down and say, "Husband, if you don't get over this oral thing, don't be surprised if I look for it somewhere else."