In all honesty, it sounds like he just wanted to get in your pants. I guess you shouldn't really call him or anything. Move on. Find someone who is really interested in you. And some future advice; be careful with how early you have sex with somebody, unless you are completely sure you are ok with a just-sex thing.

I agree with austerity. There are just some people out there that will do whatever they need to in order to have sex and then they move on. Take it as a lesson learned. He's not the one.

Yep, once he had sex with you he decided to move on. I would advise not rushing things so much. Three dates in five days is a bit overboard with someone new.

I am so sorry girl, you have been dumped. Yep, it wasn't a long relationship or not even one but he wanted to get you in his bed and when he's achieved that he's done

Next time don't go back to his place, stick to restaurants. i say after two-three months you can then start hanging out at his or your alone together. Prior to that hormones get in a way and the next you know you are naked

She says she hasn't received any communication from him, but has she tried to contact him herself? If not, he could be thinking the exact same thing she is right now--"why isn't she calling? did I do something wrong? did we just totally screw this up?"

If she's calling/texting/etc. and he's not returning the communication, that's a different issue, and it's time to move on.

You had no relationship to begin with, you were just casual. For future reference, don't do this.

I'm really confused and now I'm thinking that somehow us having sex on our third date has suddenly freaked him out.

Read above, you didn't discuss anything so you have 0 to be confused about. He wasn't your boyfriend.

God, if it has, then you're well rid of him. I guarantee he doesn't represent most men.

Not to sound rude but a lot of guys think if a girl 'puts out' so quickly that she is a 'sl*t' and they move on. No, I am not calling you one by any means. Their terms, not mine. Unfortunatly things happen. If he is not calling you because that is all he wanted, in a sense be thankful that you found out what he was like so quickly!

you didn't have a "relationship" you had 3 dates in 5 days. and i agree, if that's all he wanted you are better off w/o him.

next time be more careful and don't get your hopes up so soon that things will turn into a relationship. if it were me, and he called again, in the absence of a REALLY good excuse (like his place burned down and that's where he had your phone number) i'd tell him "oh hi! i'm watching a really good gilligan's island marathon with some friends. but i'll talk to you later" and blow his happy ass off. jerk.

I have a feeling he might call you hon, but just for the sex. Well as lickety split said you ought to hang up quickly. He is an idiot

He may just be pulling a weird guy move. Occasionally my boyfriend's friends will sleep with a girl, then not want to seem 'too interested' (and following that dumb, outdated 'don't call for a few days' rule), so they wait a while before calling her again so they seem cool. Of course, these guys then don't get another date, and are confused as to why they just got hung up on, no matter how many times it's explained that not calling someone within 72 hours of sex is rude. They aren't worth waiting around for, and you should just chalk it up to experience and move on - if he calls again though, make sure you know whether it's for a date or just a romp in the sheets BEFORE you hook up.

Don't feel guilty about this situation, and don't change the way you act because of one jerk. I HATE the idea that you have to hold out on sex to get a boyfriend, because how long you wait has nothing to do with it. I had sex with my husband on our second date, but with the assh*ole who used me for sex during two years of college I held out two months and many, many dates.

If the guy wanted a girlfriend, he'd be calling you - sex or no sex. It's nothing you did.

It technically couldn't have ruined your "relationship", because you had only gone on 3 dates...so IMO thats not really a relationship at all... However, I think by having sex with this man you have given him what he wanted...helped him achieve his goal...and now he's planning his move on to another unsuspecting victim...
Seems to me like he was not looking for anything serious at that moment, because if he was he would have called... Don't feel guilty about it though, chances are you're better off knowing his pig-ish ways now than investing more of your time into trying to have a relationship with this man.

cotedazur I totally agree. I slept with my bf after our 3rd date...and my ex I held out for months with ended up being the *sshole who broke my heart. There aren't really any rules as to when its too early to sleep with someone I think..you just have to gauge the person and who they are. 3 dates in 5 days is too short of time to know someone and what they want. I went on 3 days in a span of 3 weeks with my bf...and in between we talked on msn and the phone...and our dates were normally like 6 hours long. Our first date was 3 hours ..of coffee and chating..so...ya..

I dont get "and the next thing we knew we were having sex" thing.

I dont get how you can casually fall into sex like its "we were watching tv, holding hands and Bam I fell on his penis"

BTW to this poster, dont expect a call either unless he thinks you will fall on it again!

LOL @ CaterpillerGirl

I dont get how you can casually fall into sex like its "we were watching tv, holding hands and Bam I fell on his penis"

that was gold!

Guys are such pigs....

Sadly, the rest of the folks who commented are right. I think he just wanted to get in your pants. On the other hand, on my 3rd date with a guy- we kissed. On our 4th date- he definitely wanted to do "the deed", but I didn't. And, he stopped talking to me after that. Good riddance. We don't need either type of men in our lives. Move on. Good luck!

He may be busy with work, family, or a car accident that put him in a coma. He may like you a lot and not know how to handle it. He may be freaked out you had sex so early or maybe he feels like he didn't perform well enough and is embarrassed to call you back.

Don't always think the worst - nor that he got what he wanted and moved on to the next prey. Men like this are actually kind of rare, and if you're not totally stupid you can spot them from a mile away. If you feel like you had chemistry, then you probably did, and he probably wasn't playing you. I'm betting on something else, and I think it's worth trying to figure out what.

How about trying to contact him, not like a hysterical resentful harpy, and not so casually that it looks like you're used to doing guys on day 3 without giving it another thought - just a simple phone call or text message that says hello, wondering how you're doing, I had a nice time, would you like to see me again?

I always think that there is no shame in being modest and genuine, not playing games, and putting yourself out there. Until a guy is actually a dick to you, I think it's okay to make that effort, and you can keep your head high knowing you were the authentic grown-up one if it turns out all screwed up.

CP...LOL I love you girl..so funny.

"I dont get how you can casually fall into sex like its "we were watching tv, holding hands and Bam I fell on his penis".
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with karlotta. If you have already tried contacting him and he isn't responding, then leave him alone and move on. But if neither of you have even tried contacting each other, it's worth a try at least...you never know what is going on. Just tell him how you feel and ask what you want to know, I agree that playing games is stupid, just be honest and ask what you want to know.

I'm just studying the comments because I have never gone through this...and I don't want to!!

God me either Mesayme...I shudder to think of how exposed I'd feel.

I hate to sound trite, but after having read "He's Just Not That Into You"...well, he's just not the into you. And, FRANKLY, why the f*** would you want someone like that calling you up!? Good riddance to him. You're hot hunk that will treat you like gold will be on his way now that there's a place for him

i'll rather waited til i finally getta know each other really well instead rushing into having sex with your boyfriend

I completely agree with queenlizzie and cotedazure.

It depends on whether she has tried to contact him and been blown off, or whether he just hasn't contacted her yet.

Also, like cotedazure said, I don't think that holding out on sex is neccessarily going to get you a great guy.

I'm guessing he just used you, but like dearsugar said, pick yourself, get back out there and best of luck for next time!

tee hee, I meant pick yourself UP. Not pick yourself. :eye roll:

did you try calling him or texting him? i mean not getting psycho or anything but maybe he feels just as awkward as you are and are waiting for you to call. give him a call or a text and if he gets back to you and gives you a good reason for not calling then i'd try to understand but if he doesnt respond after you reaching out then he just wanted to get in your pants and let it go and move on

Of course I can't say for certain, but it sounds to me like you gave it up too soon. Happens to the best of us. And then either got what he wanted and (like a total ass) dropped you, OR thought you were a little too easy and (like an ass) lost interest. i hope you don't think I'm being harsh or mean, trust me I've been in this situation more than once . But that's just my opinion, and you should learn from this and move on. Without feeling bad about yourself! A caring, grown up man understands that sleeping with someone is significant, and if there is any reason for his being MIA other than some extenuating circumstance (like his phone broke or he HAD to leave town), then he is ignoring you on purpose. And that means he's not very nice and doesn't deserve you anyway.

I say if he wants you he will come running back give him time. in the mean time you busy yourself with other dates. dont sweat it. dont call him or im or text or email. le him reach out to you. you will know if he was meant to be.

I say if he wants you he will come running back give him time. in the mean time you busy yourself with other dates. dont sweat it. dont call him or im or text or email. le him reach out to you. you will know if he was meant to be.

Let's not bs the op, he didn't suddenly lose her number.

Sounds like he was only interested in one thing and that he is just not that into you. If he wanted a relationship, you guys would have been in touch by now.

I am not necessarily convinced that his intention from the beginning was to "get in your pants" like all the commentors here are saying. It is very possible that he didn't really have a master plan. THat he liked you, he liked hanging out with you & he was open to whatever. But after you have sex with someone, the relationship is either going to either be casual or be serious and not all guys are interested in leading girls on--so instead, they just disappear. He is not able to provide you with a relationship & probably was not even aware of this fact until AFTER you had sex. My guy friends tell me that they don't even *hear* what a girl is saying until after they have sex, so it also possible that he came to his senses & realized you were not compatible after you guys hooked up. It is really crappy when that happens. You had a connection--you are human and also like sex. The biggest lesson here is that you can't really ever go wrong when you wait to have sex with a guy. If he likes you--he will prove it by waiting however long it takes. If he's a runner--he will not stick around. So you find that out without becoming extremely vulnerable & sleeping with him. Also, it's important to keep in mind that guys will have sex with a girl no matter what. It is ALWAYS on the table for them. So, even if he really likes you & he knows he can't take you seriously after sleeping with you after a week, he will still sleep with you. Rarely, do you meet a guy who will put the brakes on sex in order to preserve the longevity of the relationship. That being said--HOLD OFF. There is no way it can hurt!

Also agree with cotedazur. It has nothing to do with having sex with him on the third date. It's about the guy, not you. Every girl who thinks they have to wait to keep a guy is fooling themselves. Waiting three months to have sex with him is only going to prolong him from dumping you. Luckily you had sex with him after three dates, so you didn't have to wait too long to lose the bastard! If you have an amazing first date with a guy and have sex, he won't think you're a slut. Now if you went out and met him at a bar and then had sex with hi, it might be a different story . . .

I was in a similar situation-- turned out the guy was insecure and didn't want to get hurt in a relationship, so he kept me as a casual more-than-friends thing, even though I wanted a relationship with him... I broke it off eventually.

The dude just might be afraid of getting hurt.

Those who say it doesn't matter when you sleep with a guy is generally bs. Letting a guy wait will generally weed out the hit and runners since most don't have the patience to bide their time and will move on (most guys aren't into or capable of sophisticated gameplaying like a character like John Malkovich in Dangerous Liasions, y'know?).

Guys who do this are scum and shouldn't be surprised when they get a stalker chick or burned or something when they keep women hanging/ditch them after the deed. The last guy who did this to me - I'd had enough, he worked for a company I was a client of. In a nutshell, I reported him to the HR department and he got written up for fraternizing and it's in his permanent file. What he did merited disciplinary action and possible job termination.

So guys, stop with the hump and dump, the hit and run, the hit it and quit it, and the disappearing act. Sooner or later you'll come across the woman who won't let you get away with it. And in the internet age, find yourself posted on certain sites.

And for those who are saying excuses along the lines of - maybe he's scared, maybe he's shy, maybe he's not ready, maybe this, maybe that ad infinitum - that is generally bs. Most men when they are rapturously into a woman won't be able to help themself and will move mountains to be with her. Proof of that is how attentive and how a guy has so much time to be with a woman when he's pursuing her but all of a sudden after getting the sex becomes indifferent and is 'busy'. That wouldn't happen if he wasn't just after a conquest, another notch on his belt.

So to the lady who posed the question, yes, unfortunately, this guy was just a cad who used you and discarded you and is on to the next conquest. Sucks but that's how it is. Just be very careful about men in the future. I may sound like a manhater, but if I am, I can tell you like most I wasn't born this way. Men and their hump and dump ways make you like this.