If you've ever had a love/hate relationship with someone, you know how frustrating and confusing it can feel, but according to new research, there's a reason why these kinds of relationships are so common. In a recent study, participants were shown images of individuals they hated and the brain activity pattern it revealed partially occurs in areas of the brain activated by romantic love as well. Written in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS One, researchers said, "This linkage may account for why love and hate are so closely linked to each other in life. Our results show that there is a unique pattern of activity in the brain in the context of hate." The study also revealed one conclusion to this research:
While both emotions are all-consuming passions, it may be that people in love are often less critical and judgmental about their partner but need to maintain their focus when dealing with a hated rival.
Since there's such a thin line between love and hate, tell me ladies, have you ever been in a love/hate relationship before?
black'Up
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Nuovegioie
yes with my ex. He would bring out the best and worst in me.
I mean I loved the man but I also hated some things he did.
He would get on my nerves but later on I was so In love with him and his arrogant ways. wtf? lol.
I don't think that is healthy but when you get use to that type of relationship you learn to go with it.
Until you finally hit rock bottom like I did with him.
:/
But yeah, I would say the make up sex was always great. But the drama was never really worth it in the end.
Im happier now.
1i have a love/hate relationship with snow
2but i can't offhand think of any people
I have an ex with whom I used to fight CONSTANTLY. We're talking knock down, drag out, plate-throwing horrific screaming matches.
3Yes, and unfortunately I married him. It's easy to justify when 75% of the time, you're deliriously in love and the other 25% you want to kill him/yourself.
4I can understand Jude C.
Totally dramatic.
5Not worth it.
Yep, I have with my ex. We had some HORRIBLE fights, but like others have said, when we decided to love we were very happy. The fighting got to be too much though.
6Yeah, and the breakup was truly ugly, as you might imagine.
7okay..so what is up with all of these sugar postings that so closely parallel my life? im secretly starting to get the feeling im being stalked
I dooooo have this with an ex, and im telling u today i nearly exploded with all the hate I feel for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only I know its cus I would love to hate him.
8..and I concur about the horrific screaming matches..i've thrown vases, ripped phones out of their sockets..back in the day..all for the same loser
9Have you noticed how those are the guys who, when you go to break up with them, don't want to? The breakup I had with that one went something like this:
Me: "BUT I MAKE YOU MISERABLE!"
Him: "I DON'T CARE! DON'T GO AWAY!!!"
Me: "@$#%!!!!!!!!"
Him: "&%@$#&%!!!!!!!!!!!!"
10LOL and after ALL the drama they try to come back over and over!!
11YES!!!!!!
12and suddenly you are the one they just cant let go! and they dont even know why..idiottsss
Yep--and that's when you realize that they really and truly are crazy.
13over and over is an understatement..im way past 6 years of knowing this guy some how some way
sorry for all the postings..but this totally hit home today!
14I love my crazy-ass self-involved spawn-satan-dreamed-of ex-boyfriend every minute of the day. I broke up with him because I had to get out. Literally.
I lost 5 pounds to stress. Got shingles (at 24.) Cultivated new nervous ticks in all sorts of great places.....like the middle of my forehead.
Ask anyone- I am a reasonable, gentle, compassionate person with a gift for seeing all sides of an issue.
But no one is that stable.
So.......the hate stopped because I left. When does the love stop hurting?
15No worries, it sounds like a lot of us have been there!
Brindey, the love DOES stop hurting, but it takes a lot of time, unfortunately! It totally sucks because you KNOW you will be way better off, but it's still VERY painful to get over! Someday you will meet someone that will make you wonder what you ever saw in the other guy in the first place, I'm sure of it!
16Sometimes I think what happens is that we confuse these hateful dramatic moments with passion. Our heart pounds, our blood rushes, and there is excitement...for awhile.
After awhile, though, you realize that these kinds of yo-yo relationships take a toll on your psyche. No sane person can endure those kinds of ups and downs over the long term without it hurting her. Believe me, I know.
A friend of mine was in a similar relationship on and off for years. Although the guy and she didn't have knock-down drag out fights, he was incredibly passive-aggressive, which I think in a way is worse. She was happy one moment, miserable the next. She has now found a man who is crazy about her, no games, and she is SO happy.
I know my time will come as well, as will yours, brindey.. it will be worth the wait!
17Yea, with my ex. I hate his behavior towards people, but he still knows how to make me laugh with silly stories about his day.
18I've been through this before with my high school sweetheart. He was such an *sshole. We fought 95% of the time. We only got along when we saw each other, and would rarely have civil conversations on the phone. It was such an unhealthy relationship. We would break up and get back together, and the pattern never seemed to end. Finally I just couldn't take it anymore and I had to let him go...I mean really let him go. My life is so much better without him!
19I haven't had a love/hate relationship with a guy, but I have had one with my sister. We love each other to pieces, but we're so completely different personality-wise that we don't get along most of the time. We've had a lot of blow-out fights, but in the end we're there for each other.
20Kinda going through this currently. I think I've tried breaking up with him like five times over the course of nearly two years. I'm so torn and get really confused because the love part makes the detaching so difficult.
21let me check...yep...Right now as a matter of fact...
22Unfortunately I have experienced this with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years. It was very unhealthy, and I'm glad that I have taken him out of my life for good. I don't have any love or hate for him at all anymore. I'm apathetic about our whole relationship. Don't know if that's a healthy approach to it, but that's what has worked for me.
23In one right now, as a matter of fact.
24I LOVE my fiance to bits and pieces, but at least half of the time I also DESPISE him beyond belief. To the pouint where i think ill things should happen to him. I know it is absolutely terrible, but at the same time I love him more than my own life?
25How effed up it all is!
I've been in a relationship like this before. I think the love/hate part was more with myself though, I loved him so much, but he brought out the absolute worst in me, and I hated myself for loving someone that could turn me into this insecure, pathetic person. Needless to say, I saw the light, and will definitely avoid any future commitments with someone that brings that out of me.
26Well, I was going to say my ex and I were like that...but it was more of a hate-hate relationship now that I think of it... :/. We had some good times here and there, but mostly we just fought all the time about everything. And yeah, they were screaming, stomping out, name calling fights. Very unhealthy relationship. I'm glad it's over.
I now have the best bf in the entire world, and we don't ever fight like that, we talk things out and we respect each other, and wow, what a difference. It's a much more mature relationship. If I had known what a real loving relationship was like, I would have left my ex sooner. The two types of relationships aren't even comparable to me. I love my bf now so so much. We work perfectly together.
27lauraxtc- this is exactly what i am currently going through. thank goodness for counseling and my girls.
28Of course! It was horrible.
29i'm sure that i have been in a love/hate relationship and i think that it works well with my personality. i find that i am less critical about someone when i know that i can argue with them, but that things will be just fine after we get finished fighting. it makes for some great 'tension' if you know what i mean.
30Yes, with my ex and he literally almost drove me insane. The rollercoaster was just too emotionally exhausting after awhile. I also am in a normal, happy relationship now.
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