Though I've mentioned the environmental concerns related to a long distance relationship, I know that being able to physically see the person you love is extremely important. Feeling like a major facet of your relationship is out of your control can be very frustrating, and missing someone is always a struggle. Together, these can make long distance relationships difficult, which is probably why they get such a bad reputation.
But there are plenty of healthy, happy, and successful couples in long distance relationships. So why not look on the bright side and come up with some perks to doing the distance thing? I've listed mine below. What are yours?
- You get to have more time for yourself.
- You're never the friend who's always with her boyfriend.
- You might miss out on nightly sex, but when you do have it, it's really great.
- You can actually keep up with your plan to eat healthy and work out more.
- There's always something to look forward to.
- You may not have a lot of time together, but the time you do have is extra special.
- You have the whole bed to yourself!
- You actually get to miss each other.
To see the rest and share your own, read more.
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I generally don't like the fact that my relationship is long-distance for the time being but I do like that seeing my boyfriend is always a special occasion and that spending time together is a gift. Also, it gives me the chance to really think about how I feel because commiting to a long-distance relationship requires...well, very intense feelings. why else would you do it?
1I'm ending a 2+ year long distance relationship this weekend...that means I'm ending the long distance part, not the relationship. I'm excited to live near my boyfriend, but there were good things about being long distance. I guess it falls under time for myself, but I love just being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. It's like being single, but not being alone. Although, sometimes I hated seeing couples hanging out at happy hours after work--a Wednesday night date?!? No fair.
2Well, I came out of a hellish live-in relationship in which we were mentally on different continents, so it's a real breath of fresh air to be so mentally close to someone who's literally on a different continent. I'd much rather this than the other, though obviously we're planning to be together eventually in the same city. The BEST thing is getting to travel with him. By the end of the year, we'll have spent time together in London, Glasgow, various parts of Scotland, New York City (my home turf), and the New Year's Eve in Istanbul. My ex and I never, ever traveled, even though I was dying to, and so this is perfect for me.
3I really enjoyed but hated it at the same time. There are definitely perks and I think you hit them all!
4hmm I get more sleep without his snoring and kicking in the bed
I agree with witchy up there, you can't be in a serious LDR and be afraid of commitment. so my relationship (we have been long-distance for 2 of our 3 years together; I'm in the US and he is in europe) has helped me to figure out exactly what I want in a partner, and we are both incredibly committed to making it work.
luckily, we are in the home stretch, as I have plans to move to europe next summer. finally!
5the one about the workout routine and healthy eating is a good point. i am not sure where my bf is moving in january for his job but it will likely be out of this city, and while i am dreading it, i also know that for a year i can be committed to getting myself healthy and really stick to a routine and lose the last 20 pounds i want to lose...right now, i am trying to get as much couple time as possible and i end up neglecting the gym. while i dont WANT an LDR, it will be okay to have more weeknight that can be devoted to the gym. that being said, i'd take being fat and having him here than having a rockin bod and having him far!
6I have the opposite problem skigurl, I am not as motivated to exercise and keep healthy when the bf is not around. he is very athletic and active, and we go running and things together, and we spend lots of time cooking fabulous meals! when I'm left to my own devices I order pizza and sit on the couch.
7Another perk is the incredible amount of romance you have to put into everything. We had to be so inventive and creative in order to keep the fire going - songs and pictures and poems and videos and webcams and weekend getaways - and I'll stop there or we'll be on this all weekend. It was REALLY exciting!
It's great to live with him too, but he sure hasn't gotten off his ass to make me a light and sound show in a long long time!
8I spent the first year of my relationship long distance and I am actually happy we did. Your communication has to be above and beyond to truly make it which helped when we were in the same town. Also, it made us appreciate each other so much. We've been together 3 years now, and we still take so much time to constantly tell the other person how much we love and appreciate them (sappy, I know!)
9I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the fact that my husband is gone 1 or 2 weeks out of a month. It's my 'me' time! And yeah, I get to miss him, which is important to remind us both of why we are together! There was a period of time when he wasn't gone at all and it was AWFUL. We fought and despised each other eventually. Smothered. I'm just way too independant for a man ALL the time
10the one good thing about long distance is the communication... you have to give details to keep conversations going and you tend to rely on these conversations since you can't see eachother. you gain a deeper emotional connection rather than a physical one.
11I've experienced three long distance relationships and not a positive benefit to a single one. Personally, I , MYSELF, would never do it again.
12Long distance does have its perks. I do miss the privacy.
13My idea of a perfect long distance relationship is separate bedrooms. If I want all that togetherness while I'm trying to sleep...I'll holla down the hall.
14I agree with all of these dearsugar!!!!! While I would give anything to live closer to fiance sooner than planned, i DEF love "living single" while being in a couple. Going out with my friends whenever I want, etc. Not keeping my apartment clean unless I want to....it's fun. But, I would trade it in in a heartbeat! lol. Plus, BOY is the sex great when we have it. mind blowing everytime!
15I agree with superstar! When he is not around I am super lazy and not motivated to exercise as much. I have been doing LDR for 3 years (going to be done in December!) and I think it has definitely worked for us. I like it, I like the freedom and the privacy a lot.
16long distance was so hard
17but the wait was so worth it
My relationship isn't long distance but my boyfriend is out of town this week for his work and I've actually gone to the gym and eaten healthy! It's so nice to take care of myself!
But I do miss him.
18I'm going into my 4th year of a long distance relationship and its killing me. I'm starting to wonder how much more I can take. I agree with superstar, I have no motivation to be healthy and work out when I'm not with my bf but about a month before I go home, I start eating healthier and working out like crazy. Being in a ldr has helped me develop my communication skills more though, its helped me in other areas of my life.
19i have a weird situation...i was in a ldr for six months after he moved away, and then he freaked out about the pressure of it and we broke up. I told him he would regret it and miss me, and sure enough we are finding we are talking even more now than we did when we were officially together. We both had other relationships in the meantime, but it only took us about 3-4 months to get back to each other. It's very weird because now that we aren't actually together, we are both shying away from dating other people and end up talking for hours every night either on the phone or computer. I thinks it's true that if it's meant to be, you'll find your way back. It's nice that we have such a positive relationship now and we aren't dealing with all the drama we had before...hopefully it won't be long before we can end up living in the same place!
20I've been in one before, and although it had its perks... I would definitely hesitate before getting into another one. As much as I loved him, the intensity of it all was just a lot to handle. I probably wouldn't do it again.
21speaking from personal experience, long distance kills relationships. it makes ur love fade.
time together is the only way. its psychological, emotional, physical, and chemical. u need to be in the presence of ur lover.
22Karlotta I agree about the romance.
With my ex things got pretty bad, but whenever we saw each other or were doing things to stay in touch we really did make it special. And we always had to think of new things to stay connected.
23Oh, and it's super hard it you already have some issues going into a ldr. Because then you have to try to fix them from miles and miles away. Horrible...
.So you need to have a very strong loving relationship in the first place to make it work.
I am probably going to be doing a ldr again soon with my bf, because I'm transferring to another school farther away. But I think we will be ok, because we solve problems very well and are doing great. And of course it will just be temporary so I can get through it.
24Long distance relationships... not so bad at all. Lots of perks. Long distance marriages, however... totally different. When my husband and I were dating, and we would be living apart for 6 months, it was fine. Now that we're married, and living apart for several years, it is so much harder! I can't really think of ANY perks to actually being married and living several states apart.
25DDL--I really do disagree. AFter 4 years of living near my fiance, and then moving away, we got closer, both emotionally and psychologically. Our love has blossomed and now neither one of us can wait to live together after our wedding. I think it depends on the couple...not the actual concept of LDR. As far as my experience has been...LDR makes the heart grow fonder.
26I agree with cravinsugar about LDR making the heart grow fonder.
27my boyfriend just moved to a town about 2 hours away from me. we've been living together for like 4 years and he will be gone for a year. its only been like 3 weeks and its just so happened that i've seen him each of those weekends, but this time i don't think we will be seein each other till thanksgiving. i've been fine with it...it is kinda nice to get to live alone and have everything be my responsibility. we talk a lot, play xbox online together, and text throughout the day - luckily we are best friends like that. i still feel in touch with him but we are both on our own little adventures right now. i feel like i have a lot of opportunity to grow as an individual. kinda nice but kinda sucky all at once ya know
28Long distance relationships are hard, but I know my relationship with my boyfriend is worth it. I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world just to have someone closer to me in the physical sense. I'm glad that I have my own time to do what I want, but I do miss him a ton.
I sure am glad he's coming home this weekend though. He'll be here for almost 2 months before he leaves again. I haven't seen him in almost a month and a half!!!
29My boyfriend and I met online, so we've basically been long-distancing it since the start. He lives in England and I'm in the US.
It's been hard - I miss him so much every day, but honestly, I wouldn't trade it in for the world. He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy and even though we're worlds apart, we find ways to stay as close as we can.
We talk every day, and make plans to visit (I'm flying over in March). When he did finally visit, the trip was even more special because we had to make the most of our short time together.
The effort we put into it really shows how strong we are together and makes me appreciate our relationship even more so.
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