If you're not a fan of hormonal birth control, your options are limited when it comes to staying pregnancy-free. Condoms are an easy choice to stay protected when you're not in a committed relationship, but I've been hearing more and more married couples say that condoms are their preferred method of birth control, too. Of course to each their own, but isn't one of the perks of being in a committed marriage (one that's clear of STIs) that you don't have to fuss with interrupting the moment to find a condom? Clearly I'd pick another method, but where do you stand on using condoms when you're married? Do you, or would you, use them too?
Tommy Hilfiger
Liberty
Hush Puppies
Dear...not everyone is able to use hormonal birth control methods, so some married couples do NOT have a choice
1I'm not married but my friend recently went off the pill and IUD (it was messing with her system), and so their only choice is using a condom.
2* by their only choice I mean other things like the injection and the patch etc etc just don't work for her.
3No way. We both hate the feel of condoms, so IUD all the way.
4I just think its a little ignorant to assume everyone chooses to use condoms over hormonal options. For some women who cannot use hormonal options, choosing to protect their health far outweighs "ruining the moment".
5I'm sure I'm in the vast minority here but we don't use condoms or hormonal options. We use the Billings Method, so it's periodic abstinence when I'm ovulating. It works really well but it definitely requires dedication. And yes, it's for religious reasons.
6i'm not married but i'm in a long term and committed relationship with my boyfriend, and we use condoms. i tried many different types of birth control in the past for ovarian cysts (not for birth control reasons) and i was always sick, having trouble with my periods when i never had a problem before, pain, and terrible weight gain even though i was constantly nauseous and not eating. condoms are by far the best option for us so i can see why they would be for married couples as well. i'm sure when we get married and still aren't ready to become pregnant that we will continue to use them as well.
7It is less messy... and probably cheaper too.
8ash_marisa you do realize there are other non-hormonal methods besides the condom right? I think Dear was just asking whether married couples who cant handle the horomones resort to Condoms or choose something else... like an IUD... which is what I do because I cant handle the horomones.
I think it's a little ignornant that you would automatically assume that Dear, who constantly informs us of alternative birth control methods, would ever assume the only other option is condoms.
9Fallen85: IUDs like Mirena is also hormonally-based. Paraguard is not hormonally-based, but is not recommended if you have not had children.
I am actually not ignorant; far from it in fact.--I am almost done with my Family Health Nurse Practitioner master's program, so I am actually very informed. I always get patients in my clinicals who come in quite depressed because they cannot use hormonal methods and must rely on other non-hormonal methods, which even with diligent practice are not in research as effective as hormonal options. These questions make such women feel worse-- trust me, I have seen it in practice.
10Well ash, I've got a non-hormonal IUD and I've never had kids and for the past 3 years it's worked quite well. Either way, I highly doubt that Dear was trying to offend anyone. I think it's a very interesting and relevant question. Just relax and if anyone goes off the deepend because they cant use horomones then we'll send them your way.
11point taken and proven
12I'm married and we use condoms. We used them while we dated too. All I know is that I can't take the hormonal stuff and we don't want kids right now. Honestly, we've used this method so long that the "interruption" doesn't even phase me at all.
13not married but in a relationship for over almost 5 years now...I am on the pill but we still use condoms sometimes..not everytime but I am paranoid so we still use it
14I am on the Pill for PMDD, but if I can get it under control, I'll be switching to NFP seeing my husband's religion doesn't like birth control.. but I need it so I don't bleed to death.
15Susan, if you do switch to NFP make sure you take a class or two and get the instructor's contact info for questions. The methods are pretty simple but they do take awhile to really get down. Disregard if you already know all that, but I wanted to pass it on!
16I'm really looking forward to doing NFP once I'm married... I hate hormones and the way they affect everything from my hair to my sex drive... I'll be using condoms just in case though.
17If they can't use hormonal birth control and don't want to reproduce yet, then why not? Besides, by using condoms they're both on the safe side. Just because they're married that doesn't guarantee they're faithful.
Why, maybe I'm cynical here, but things like that happen. *shrugs*
18I definitely know a lot of people who can't handle hormonal birth control, and I have recently gone off it myself. I used to think condoms were like the worst thing ever for people in committed relationships (like you said, isn't that one of the perks?) but if you still need a safe, hormonal-free method for preventing pregnancy, they are really not a bad option. I ultimately hope to find another solution that works for me, but until then, the ultra-thin varieties of condom they make now are a major improvement from the old-school ones.
19i am completely against condoms in marriage. down with them!!
20only as back up occasionally.
21dont like them.
My fiance (together over 6 years) and I use condoms, i am on the pill, AND we use the pull out method lmao. We are concerned with babies, and the men in his family are VERY fertile, and my mom got pregs on the pill! no chances! Once we are married, i don't know, although we don't want kids for atleast a couple of years after so i guess we will figure it out then!
22Condom is fantastic! Why not? These stuff about it being a pleasure killer is nonsense. I've been using it for at least 10 years. Yep married and happy
23Well, BC is the best option for me. It makes me less nuts. I hate the beginning side effects, but honestly, if that's all I can complain about, and the rest in fine, then it's no big deal. I don't have an issue with condoms, but my boyfriend is *very* large, so each time we use condoms it practically BURSTS...I am not kidding, it shreds. They DO ruin the moment, as no condom we have found is large enough to comfortably fit his penis -- and they always completely explode. If I could not tolerate BC, and condoms didn't work, I'd find a way to make it happy.
Marriage doesn't mean you can't use the stuff other people do who aren't married. It really isn't a big deal.
24My opinion: If you're married and not on hormonal birth control (or the like), and have no desire to get pregnant, then you'd be silly not to use a condom. If you're married and are on hormonal birth control (or the like), and you don't want to use a condom, then don't.
25LOL Chrstne, I'm sorry but your story makes me laugh out loud
I didn't know you can
burst the dam thing!
26my sister is on the pill, married, and STILL uses condoms.
27she's just really paranoid. she doesn't want kids for another 2 years
I'm not married, but I think I'm in the minority when I say that I much prefer using condoms. No mess!
28I use condoms.. To prevent children at this stage of life.
29seems like another good time to mention the lady comp which I've been using for over a year! hbc doesn't work with my body so my husband & I use condoms on the red days (when youre fertile) and don't have to worry about anything on green days (infertile).
30Married, and finally got off birth control (and will never go back). We now use condoms, and they're not that inconvenient if you have them sitting next to the bed.
31Has anyone here used a diaphram?
32Has anyone here used a diaphram?
33We prefer the condom, too. I couldn't tolerate the hormones.
Also, I'm with Tyffi. Just because we're married doesn't guarantee faithfulness. I like the idea that there's some barrier protection. JMHO.
34Well... please suggest a non-hormonal, non-invasive method and I'd be on it.
35Also, what's the deal with using "marriage" as a synonym for "committed relationship"? We're not all that old-fashioned, dear.
Decided to be abstinent for the next few months. No comdoms, no pills for me...
Not because I want to, but I had the most life-wrecking month of my life on the Nuvaring.
Depressed to the point of being suicidal.. I know it's depressing to hear stories like this, but I'm so sick of hormones ruining women's lives, and want to get the word about the bad emotional side effects that we're not aware of. I just wish I heard about the Nuvaring's side effects sooner (I started using it after Dearsugar members highly recommended them... I guess it's not for everyone)
My boyfriend and I are in a committed relationship, both dislike condoms and had a great sex life.. but I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too....
36by the way, the Nuvaring is "low-dose", but is still a hormonal birth control with one of the most intense and dangerous side effects.
If anyone is thinking about starting a new pill or birth control methods...etc. I really recommend this site with side effects posted by users with bad experiences.
http://www.medications.com
You will notice that the list of "Drugs with Most Side Effects" (# of posts in parenthesis) is topped by a widely used BCP Yas, followed by Nuvaring a few steps down.
Yasmin (4450)
Singulair (2174)
Levaquin (2097)
Lisinopril (1772)
Mirena (1601)
PredniSONE (1296)
Lipitor (1245)
NuvaRing (1243)
Advair HFA (1076)
Kenalog (789)
Whew... hope this info helps a bit.
37All this info makes me think that condoms might be the best option for women vulnerable to hormones, whether or not she is in a committed relationship.
very interesting topic...
question ...is this a site for only women? I mean I see womens network but do guys post here too? I found this site from a yahoo link talking about "excuses for missing work" started looking around and found it intesesting. Im just wonderind is it cool to post here also. I feel like im spying ..hahah!
38I'd really like to get of HBC and am really considering going on NFP when we get married (probably plus a condom or something).
My sister just got on the pill and she had a horrible reaction to it... extremely high blood pressure, constant headaches and the like. So she and her guy are going to have to use condoms.
ogbobbypickle,
39There are some guys on here. The majority of posters are women, but as long as you are open and non-judgmental we accept either sex! lol and yeah you might find out some interesting stuff
Until we want kids, we'll likely continue with condoms - married or not. He seems to be more adamant about using them than I am which I appreciate (a friend of mine is constantly pressured from her live-in boyfriend to stop using them which she is NOT comfortable with). I like that extra layer of protection even if it is just for my sanity.
Once we've done the kids thing, there will be no more condoms or birth control pills - homeboy is getting snipped.
We actually talked about that briefly a few weeks ago and he was quite turned off from the idea until I told him how common it is. I understand the fear of emasculation, but the boys are still there so what's the big deal?
40My fiance and I have always used condoms, and will continue to do so after we are married. I'm hesitant to use pills or shots or anything that could mess with me hormonally.
41Thanks, PsychoBabble, I appreciate the concern! I have taken the classes, but on Doctor's orders I can't start for a few more months seeing I will literally just keep bleeding for weeks... hopefully that stops soon, but thank you! Glad to see there is someone to help
I take Yaz seeing the Depo shot almost killed me.(literally)
42The thinnest condom works much better than the regular kind. It feels pretty good with the thinnest kind. With the pills, even if you take yourself off of it later, it would be very hard to lose the weight even when they have improved the formula over the years and people are less prone to weight gain. Being slender is very important to me. Other methods such as IUD and NFP requires too much effort (even though the efforts are less as you become more skillful as using them, still too much effort for me). I greatly prefer convenience and the simplest/easiest method possible. Condom just seems to fit the bill best for me at this time.
43I don't bother with condoms now. My partner and I hate the feel of them and we've only got them as a back up when I miss my pill.
44Cravinsugar, I think you and I are the only ones on here who use hormonal birth control AND condoms!! Are you all really that trusting of whatever method you use? Pills (or Nuvaring or IUD or the patch or whatever) are only about 99% effective, same with condoms, so two methods are definitely better than one! I'm married, and it's no problem to use condoms. They are in his nightstand, and so what if we have to stop for a minute? I don't care. We've never had sex without a condom (except twice when we had shower sex) so it doesn't feel any different to me or him. And like other people have said...less mess!! Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I'd rather not have kids now!
45my preference is that once you're married there's no need for condoms. i know that it's a great way to avoid getting preggo - but i think that you can also know your body and all that to know when it's safe to have sex w/o a condom and not have to worry about having a baby.
46I can't take anything hormonal at all, so condoms are just about my only choice. Working on hubby though to have a Vasectomy. LOL
47My husband and I have used the Billings Method for 27 years with no accidents...we use condoms carefully during my fertile phase.
48We've never had a problem with condoms...
I've loved being free of Pills, injections, IUD's, side effects and everything else.
We;re not religious - I went looking for an alternative when all my friends just automatically started taking the Pill and some are still taking it 30 years later! Many have been plagued with side effects and there have been a few unplanned pregnancies.
Using the Billings Method you understand your cycle - I feel like my body and I are on the same team.
I SO pleased I took the time all those years ago and contacted a Billings Method teacher...
I'm a big fan of condoms as well - they enabled us to have careful sex during my fertile phase.
OK, so I was at the gyno today talking to my doc about getting back on birth control since my periods have started again after giving birth 7 months ago (hubby and I have been using condoms in the meantime- and I was breastfeeding). Anyway, so I told him that I want something that reduces bleeding each month (or eliminates it completely) and that my husband and I would probably continue to use condoms- no matter what hormonal birth control method I chose- because I don't like the mess..... He was in shock! My husband doesn't have a problem using condoms (or so he says) AND they make him last longer, which is great for me! When the doc reacted like that, I felt like maybe I am depriving my husband of...what? More pleasure? Or something else? I am not sure, but I am confused now. Am I the only woman in the world who prefers her husband to use a condom in order to reduce the messiness and for longer stimulation???
49Condoms are great, my wife thought at first she would use a diaphram but never realy found it easy,we never liked the idea of hormone contraception, though after our children were born she did try an IUD but unless you like a bleed for three weeks and one clear, not for us.So for twenty years we chose the good old fashioned condom with 100% reliability and no side effects.Condoms are as good as the users want them to be, extra precautions can still be taken when it is imperative to not get pregnant.
50Post New Comment
Please share your opinion with our community, but make sure it is on topic and follows our Community Rules. We moderate comments and prohibit personal attacks, threats, spam, lewd images, or the promotion of your personal website.