It happens. No one on this planet doesn't have random outbursts. Even your bf's father understands that, I'm sure. Give it a few weeks and all will probably be forgotten. It's certainly not worth holding a grudge over a cucumber.

Why don't you have your boyfriend call him while you're in the room and then hand it over to you so you can apologize?

i know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about it. if you really want to, it wouldn't hurt to write him a little note apologizing once more and explaining how uncharacteristic of you the outburst was.

Everyone has those moments; you've just shown your possible future father-in-law that you're human. You apologized immediately (good for you!) and now all you can do is let it go.

Am I the only person that thought from the title of this it was gonna be a creepy creepy confession? Lol. You're human, you aplogized, just forgive yourself and let it go, you're fine.

I agree annebreal I thought it was going to be I made out with my boyfriend's dad. This is not a big deal, people get snippy sometimes.

If he accepted your apology, was understanding and cool the rest of the weekend, it's not a big deal.

Tell me why I thought you hooked up with your boyfriends dad because that seems what the title is inferring but yeah things like that happen. You apologized so now it time to move on.

You showed him you're a human being and a woman with estrogen. If he's been married to your boyfriend's mother longer than a week he gets that. Stop beating yourself up and don't think that imperfect people expect perfection. He has his moments most certainly...just wait...you'll see.

Compared to what I thought this was actually about based on the title, this is NOTHING! There's nothing wrong with getting upset at him, quickly realizing the mistake, and apologizing. It's not as if you were verbally abusing the man.

When you think of all the people who have horrible relationships with their in-laws/sig other's parents, this is really nothing to fret about. He'll get over it.

Hey, you apologized immediately and that is all you can do. If he was very gracious about it, then he obviously isn't even thinking about it anymore. He prob understood that you were under stress. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I agree about the title... this was far less juicy than I expected!
Seriously though, I've been there with my MIL. You try to keep up this perfect veneer but eventually it will crack and your humanity will show! As it's been said, you apologized immediately, that's all you can do! (not to mention the most mature thing to do- admit your mistake and apologize)

My husband and I very recently had the MIL visit after the wedding... and I got into a minor car accident with her in the car! I was mortified but I handled it calmly and didn't loose my cool. She told me later that she was really proud of me that I owned up to my mistake and handled it maturely.
So... in the long run the cracks in the veneer can endear you even more to them. Even if you can't see it now, in the long run this will be a good thing!

Glad I wasn't the only one who thought this title was misleading,I was already thinking of a comment.

omg you're only human. no biggie. so glad you didn't make out w bf's daddy!!

oh thank god! i also thought u got "too comfortable" with him if u know what i mean and i was prepared to throw up a little....
just call him and say im sorry i snapped at u...i was a little stressed

Everyone here is being super supportive of you. I agree with them. I think your in law is old enough to get over this Now you both know where to stand in the kitchen!

yeah, this title TOTALLY took my mind in the wrong direction...down to the gutter it goes! =D

You get that snappy with your *own* parents?! Where I come from, any child being snippy at their parents is "backtalking" and that kind of comment would have resulted in some sort of serious reprimand.

But for your situation: you've already apologized, that's all you can do. Though I can't entirely blame him for not going to ask about the cucumber allergy. I mean, it is HIS son, and he should know a little more about his son's allergies. They won't hold it against you forever.

Okay I'm really glad I'm not the only one who thought this was going to be *really* inappropriate.

And when she handed him a CUCUMBER, well wow, my mind went wild.

By the time I got to the punchline, I was so relieved that I instantly forgave the poster. I haven't quite forgiven Dear yet for that misleading title, but once the image of a girl, her father-in-law, and a cucumber fades, perhaps I can forgive her, too.

Hahaha I was also thinking about inappropriate things with cucumbers!

I don't think this is a big deal, the remark might have stung him but he'll get over it, and so will you. I remember my sister in law having a huge fight with my parents before she and my brother were married and it's all water under the bridge now.

Haha, I agree with everyone who thought it was going to be much more scandalous. I was preparing myself for a serious ick factor!
Anyway, this is totally forgivable. This sort of thing happens to anyone. Didn't you say you were already close to them? You can't be prefect around them all the time, this was bound to happen at one point or another.
Also, I don't blame you for your outburst. Good friends or not, it's hard to keep pleasant when someone just won't take no for an answer!

Random outbursts happen to the best of us. You did the right thing by apologizing. Just give it time, or write him a little apology letter if that would make you feel better.

Totally forgive. Its normal to snap sometimes with family!

i think that it's only natural that you snapped and he has children to know that it's not out of malice that you did it - just that you don't like being second guessed and all that. i'm sure that all will be forgiven and forgotten soon enough. if you've been with his son for so long, and you'll probably be around for a while, chances are this will be long in the past before you know it and things will be fine

Forgive. We all blow up every once in a while. I'm sure he understands and has accepted your apology.

Oh, this isn't even bad! Like everyone is saying above, you're only human! He has a wife, i'm sure he understands women can be snappy sometimes:oops:! If you feel like it's really bothering you after a while, maybe next time he's over ask for his help? to show him that you do appreciate it and that it was just a little slip.

Woah. Im so glad this was not what I thought it was. Next time get a better choice of words for your title missy lol. Everyone goes through stress, and the outcome; outburst. He's an old man. He is wise. He knows netter and im sure he is not butt hurt. Just go on about your life like nothing happened. Your beaing yourself up over spilt milk. =)

If I were you I'd write him a note saying that this is it, you're family - because obviously, when you feel comfortable snapping at someone for something so silly, it's because there's a level of intimacy that has made you let your guard down, and you're being yourself.

That, or never mention it again. He'll have forgotten in a week. And maybe you'll laugh about this in many years, or it will be his toast at your wedding: "the day my D-I-L snapped at me, I finally understood she was family".

Take it with humor.

"Obviously I showed him a side he hadn't seen before — one I usually only have when dealing with my own parents."

I'm in the minority here. Not forgive.

Are you saying you're normally rude to your parents?? No wonder you treated your boyfriend's Dad that way. Truthfully, I think your apology to him was empty. This was your NORMAL behavior toward parent-figures, not abnormal. I think your apology was empty. You're were trying to pacify him. You weren't truly remorseful over your normal behavior. You just didn't like the reaction you received.

Let me tell you something, if my husband spoke harshly to my Dad or Mom, I would find that unacceptable. I wouldn't care if he was exhausted or stressed. That is not a license to take it out on my folks. Similarly, I would never treat his parents that way.

Incidentally, I broke-up with a boyfriend who was rude to my Mom. I saw no future for us when he did that. To me, that was serious boundary he crossed, and it was a point of no return.

If I was your boyfriend, I would seriously re-consider my relationship with you. If he's the marrying type, and if he's smart, he should think twice about asking you to marry him, and making you part of the family. You're normally rude to your parents, and you just offended his Dad. Yeah, you would make a great addition to the family.

Glowingmoon, you need to get over yourself.

She immediately apologized, meaning she felt bad about it and cared about the feelings of her boyfriend's father. She has been feeling bad about that one incident ever since!

Where did she imply that she is rude to his parents on a regular basis? And she said she reserves that side for her parents, probably in the sense that one only feels bold enough to act that way around their own parents, and even then, not on a regular basis..we have all talked back to our parents before!

I hope you don't show this attitude toward your own daugher/son in law in the future or else they are in for a rocky relationship with you.

OMG I thought the same thing. Glad to know I am not alone.

I'd have pimp-slapped him. J/k! It happens, i just don't know why he'd distrust your word since you live with his son, thus you know how he operates.

hey it happens.....forgive and forget!!!

Stuff happens! Ask for forgiveness!

Hahaha ok i def. thought the title meant something else. But you should not feel so bad about it, it happens and you already asked for forgiveness. But if you still feel bad maybe talk to your boyfriend, or even the father and explain how stressed you were if you haven't already done that. But def. do not worry about it!

It's understandable why you snapped. You had already mentioned here that you wanted the kitchen to yourself, having him there when you didn't want him to be didn't help any-so I can see why you snapped. I'd have done the same thing.

When I read the title, I thought this topic would be a Jerry Springer material.

Regarding the topic, I would say not forgive.

"Glowingmoon, you need to get over yourself."

Obviously we have different standards when it comes to treating our parents, and treating the parents of our friends and significant others.

Oh lord. I love how we all thought you were going to tell us how you got it on with your future father in law. hahaha

Oh boy...anyways...of course, you can be forgiven. It doesn't sound like a huge deal. (Partly because I was imaging something much MUCH worse) Maybe you could ask your parents to start calling you out when you snap at them like that so you can try to break the habit in the bud. Of course, nobody is perfect, but if you start trying not to snap at them as much maybe you won't accidentally snap at other people. Just apologize when you notice you've done it and explain calmly why you got upset. Everybody makes mistakes. Just fess up to them and people will be willing to forgive you a lot easier.

Okay, so, I really thought this was going to be something else from the title. lol.

But yeah, people blow up sometimes, and I'm sure he understands but it would probably make you feel better if you called him up or wrote him a note explaining you were really stressed out and stuff and you didn't mean to be rude. He's probably not even thinking about it anymore.

"Obviously we have different standards when it comes to treating our parents, and treating the parents of our friends and significant others."

You are missing the point. The OP realized she made a mistake and apologized, and still felt bad. You may not find that forgivable but your post in my opinion was harsh for an isolated incident...and you assumed things about the way she treated her parents regularly, just as you are now assuming the standards I have for treating my parents, which by the way are very high.

I maintain that I hope you are easier and more light-hearted with your future son or daughter-in-law, or they will be miserable.

Phew, like everyone else, I'm relieved that this story was about a cucumber salad!

I think that this is totally forgivable. I'd just be extra nice to him next time you see him or talk to him. Like if your boyfriend is on the phone with his folks, ask to say a quick hello, how are you, I hope to see you again soon, etc. Little gestures like that will show both of them that you're not a monster!

And, though I wouldn't recommend this particular tactic, at least maybe he'll learn to stay out of your kitchen

i guess i have a dirty mind, but i thought this question was going to go in another direction with that headline. lol. and it seems so did others. lol.

anyways, to me, cooking is always a stressful situation .. and if that's not stressful enough, you had family over. you're human and you're bound to say things in the heat of the moment.

i understand you feel guilty, but i feel like if he's going to judge your whole character based on that one little incident, then i think you should be civil to him .. but he's not worth getting to know on a deeper level if you know what i mean.

GlowingMoon I think there's a big difference between being rude to your s/o's parents all the time, and making one slip of the tongue (especially if the situation is stressed, or if you're close enough to their family to warrant something like this).

Honestly, I think the OP is nice enough a person judging by how bad she obviously feels - so there's no need to make her out to be some kind of monster.

And that comment, 'Are you saying you're normally rude to your parents??". Who hasn't been snippy with their own parents! I can't count the number of times my mom or dad had to put me in my place growing up - even now in my twenties I have the occasional moment where they pull the 'watch your mouth young lady' card. No one is a saint. That doesn't mean I love them any less.

I think it's completely forgivable, and the fact that you are so concerned about it certainly shows that you realize it was out of line and that is not how you normally treat your boyfriend's parents. Stressful situations lead to stress which leads to shortened fuses, I do the same thing myself! It seems to me like the apology you already made rectified the situation, but expressing your ongoing regret would certainly not hurt

sundaygreen, I think maybe what GlowingMoon is referring to is this statement in the OP:
"Obviously I showed him a side he hadn't seen before — one I usually only have when dealing with my own parents."

I asked the same question of whether this statement meant that the OP was *normally* snippy with her own parents, or just that she never blows up like that at anyone *besides* her parents.

I know if I got *any* sort of temper or said a comment like that in that situation with *my* parents, whether I meant to or not, it would have promptly been follwed up with a spanking [if I was younger] or a possible hit or slap in the face [if it was me now, I'm also in my twenties], things that we as kids learned to try to avoid at all costs. Yeah, people make mistakes - but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences.

Where I come from [I realize this may not be true for everyone else; there's some cultural influence in this], you speak to your parents and other family authorities with respect NO MATTER WHAT. You can go huff if you must, but you don't *dare* talk to them like that, roll your eyes at them, groan or grunt where they can still see or hear you. It may seem kind of harsh - but my parents explained their reasoning, and I understand and respect that. It doesn't mean I don't ever get REALLY angry at them or blow up at them, I'm human - I just suffer the consequences for doing so...and I *definitely* wouldn't want to make those kinds of things a regular occurence.

I'm *not* saying that the OP is a bad person/monster for blowing a fuse...it happens, true, we blow up at other people and she's profusely apologized for it, so that's probably water under the bridge. On the other hand, it would seem a little crazy to me to be like that with your OWN parents - it isn't worth the consequences.

all I have to say, is that was NOT the story i was expecting from the title of the post....

LMAO..I also thought 'too comfortable' was like make out and hugged to tightly or something...let's it go. IT happens...

I also thought something dirty. Shame on me! I think snapping at someone is just something everyone does. Forgive and forget it. It happens!

Hahahha, I thought something sexual happened with the dad too!!! LOL LOL!

Forgive, it's no bid deal, like others have said, we're all human and it happens. And you did the right thing, you apologized right away, there is nothing more to do.

I;d probably feel bad too, but sometimes you just have to remember that no one is perfect and its ok to make mistakes. Personally, when I do things like that or think I;ve made someone upset unintentionally, I write them an email or a text or something appologizing. It just makes mee feel like I've righted my wrong