I really dont know if I feel that strongly about it either way..If I am madly in love with a guy so much so that im willing to swallow my resistance to conformity and marry him, a ring isnt going to change that..although I love vintage jewelry and my boy has hinted that he would know what to get me based on that preference so i can see how it can be important to be with someone that knows you well enough to know what you'll like..it just shouldnt be a deal breaker imo

i dont agree with the saying. nothing like that has happened to me, but i think in general our generation has too much of a tendency to want life to be like a fairy tale. so although the wrong guy might propose with the wrong ring, the right guy could too. nice people CAN have bad taste i say.
Aiden, on the other hand was simply wrong.
But then Big wanted to marry at the city hall and carrie still was happy, so, it CAN be wrong wedding right guy.

If I talked to him about my preference in rings and he got me something completely opposite then I would wonder about out relationship because that would hint at a bigger issue which would be that he doesnt listen to me. But otherwise it's like theatre... bad dress rehearsal, amazing show. Bad engagement ring, amazing marriage haha

PS: Carrie cheated on Aiden, they were obviously not meant to be together and that had NOTHING to do with the ugly ass pear shaped ring. Aiden was perfect, just not perfect for Carrie. Also, Miranda helped pick out the ring so if we're going with Wrong Ring Wrong Guy logic maybe Miranda is a wrong friend? See? BS.

Some guys are just clueless about stuff like this, but that doesn't mean they are not the one! If you have something very specific in mind drop some obvious hints or even inform him that you want to go with the pick it out. He'd likely love the help since he is under so much pressure to get it right!

I don't know if I agree with that statement wholeheartedly, but there is some truth to it in that he doesn't quite understand what you like. Now I'm not saying break up with the guy, as I agree with snowysakurasky that nice people can have bad taste. But if he doesn't know your taste, he either hasn't been paying attention or you haven't communicated it well enough to him. In either case, it's grounds for working on your communication to each other - even if it means you giving him a list of rings you like!

i guess i'm not that materialistic so unless other things were going wrong and the signs weren't good all around, i would probably let this one go. if you aren't expecting the engagement and your fiance doesn't know what kind of ring you want its very difficult.

if its something that is super important to you make sure that when the time is right you let other people that are close to him that can clue him in know what you like or if you don't mind just being blunt about it tell him what you want more or less so you are surprised- in a bad way on your engagement day.

Just because YOU don't think it's the right ring doesn't mean it's not the right one - he thought it was, and I'd definitely want to know why before passing judgement. The only big concern I'd have about an engagement ring is how high off my finger the stone and prongs were - I hate getting jewelry stuck on sweaters or in my hair, but with most rings that could be fixed by adjusting the settings.

I would never think that my fiance wasn't right for me just because he picked a ring he thought I'd like, although it would be different if he NEVER picked anything I liked (ie, dozen red roses when I prefer a farmers' market wildflower bouquets and he knows it), but hopefully you'd have had enough sense to realize that he doesn't listen to what you like (or care) before getting engaged.

I think women are sometimes led to believe the engagement and wedding is all about them: their ideal ring, their perfect dress, when it really should be about both of you. You may get the dress and ceremony of your dreams, but maybe have to compromise on your ring, especially if it's a family heirloom or represents something very special to him, just like he may hate your seed pearl and rhinestone Barbie wedding dress, but knows you've been dreaming of it for years and compromises.

I don't like my ring, and never have, but I love my husband. We couldn't afford a very nice ring. I thought that one day I would "upgrade" but now I just want a plain band to wear every day instead of my wedding set. If we have $$$, I would rather spend it on something else (home repairs, vacation, debt). My happy marriage has changed me and made me less materialistic, apparently

i don't agree with the statement. i guess maybe if you told him what you wanted in a ring, and he went out a got one that was not your style anyway, that might mean something. maybe. but personally, my boyfriend and i are looking at rings right now, and the links he keeps sending me are absolutely hideous. i'm talking white AND yellow gold (yes, on the same ring) huge, gaudy stuff. and i'm still marrying him! he just doesnt know enough about jewelry, poor dear thing.

now it would be a little different if my husband had had $10k to spend and had been explicitly instructed on what I wanted, and got me the opposite. then I would be concerned about his listening skills!

and for the record, the original ring aidan bought carrie was freakin heinous.

it shouldn't matter.
of course i don't want an engagement ring at all.

depends... if you have hinted many times to the guy the style you want and he is the type that takes hints and understand you (man, I've met this one guy who I can see eye to eye on many times. Like I would say something and he can complete the sentence for me and vice versa. Same as our thought process) Then he still gets you the wrong ring, I would have to say that is the wrong guy. However, if you guys never talk about it and it is not something you guys care enough to discuss in the relationship and he just pops the question with the ring. I would ask myself if I truly loves him and if so, never mind the ring. I don't just the person by the ring!!!!

I don't agree with that. Part of the work I do is on the spiritual symbolism of material tokens (I'm a PhD student in medieval studies). I take rings very seriously, and I'm very traditional, but not in a "that cost more, therefore he loves you more" type of way. I'd be thrilled with a plain gold ring with an inscription - or something silver and interesting from a place we'd traveled to together - or an heirloom ring. If my first instinct were to think the ring were ugly, he'd probably already be explaining the reasons why he chose it and where it came from, and I'd be won over completely. I don't want an expensive ring or even one with a stone, but rather one with deep meaning attached to it. Knowing my fellow though, we'd probably pick something out beforehand... but even if we didn't, I trust him completely with picking something interesting, meaningful and suitable.

you're marrying the man not the ring.

i also recently saw that rerun and my husband was sitting next to me. i told him that i think its ridiculous to expect a man to know your taste in engagement rings. how is he supposed to know? its not like hes seen your taste in engagement rings before :S
i asked my husband if he would've known my engagement ring is the one i wanted if i hadnt picked it out. he said no.
in my culture, women choose out their wedding rings after an engagement.

I think its ridiculous to put that much importance on a dang ring. Guys are pretty dense when it comes to picking things that they think their lady love would like.

Shouldn't matter....I feel liek its so materalistic to think dump a guy based on a ring. If I was to ever get engaged...I would show my bf pictures of what I want or think is attractive. And if made a bad choice, well its just a ring....its him I want forever not the ring.

I've been married to my match for 7 years. We have a baby and love each other and the marriage is great. I have NEVER liked my ring. Nothing about it but the getting married part was ideal. I am convinced that he would NOT pick this out now but he thought he was doing a good job then. I have tried to gently suggest that maybe I would find something cool at an estate sale or flea market or even buy a CZ. He said to go for it!! I'm not convinced that he meant it so I continue to wear the bad ring. Its not the ring STUPID. Its the man and the relationship that matter.

"Where do you stand on the saying wrong ring, wrong guy?"

Personally, I don't think that's true. Besides, didn't Carrie end up getting ANOTHER ring from Aidan? It was a beautiful ring, and it was her taste, but their engagement still fell a apart. It was the case of right ring, wrong guy.

Per some of the above posters, they're still happy with their marriage even though they found their ring dislikeable. So wrong ring = right guy.

Personally, I don't relate. I love the ring I received, and I'm happily married.

*throwing up a little bit in my mouth*

karlotta, you should get that checked out.

lol @ karlotta!

That's so stupid! Anyone who judges their partner's worth and value by their taste in jewelry shouldn't be getting married in the first place. That's the most childish thing I've ever heard.

Lol@ Fallen

LOL @ Fallen

I made it easy i found an exact replica of the ring I want... of course the ring I have is not diamond or platinum... But everyone has instructions on what to do when it comes to my engagement ring.

I think it is important to communicate your wishes in a ring. If you never communicate the preference, you can't really be upset with the result. For me it is important that I have a ring that is consistent with my personality and fits my personal style.

What does it mean when you draw out every detail of the ring on a piece of paper but he went out and got you that is not in the drawing? I know the value of the ring should not matter but what if what it is in your personality that you are willing to spend lots of money on yourself and you love vanity - like big and over the board rings and jewelries. If the guy despite vanity and criterize you for being vain. Then perhaps the two people's values are just so fundamentally different that perhaps they really don't belong together. I have someone told me to my face that I am too into vanity and I guess we could never be that kind of friends with one another. With the two people's values so fundamentally differnt, rather than labelling one being right and the other being wrong, they just need to pursue different things in life and fulfill their own needs. Afterall, your own values must be fulfilled before fulfilling any other people's or fulfilling needs joinly together

Blaming a guy for not understand jewelry is just silly. How shallow do you have to be to assume that a bad choice of jewelry constitutes a nullification of love and committment? That's way too dramatic for me.

Plus, would it be so horrible to ask the guy about returning it and getting another ring? As long as you said yes to the marriage proposal beforehand, I don't see this being a huge deal.

Because you are willing to spend on yourself and other people, when others are being cheap on an item as important as the engagement ring, it makes you feel that you are relatively unimportant in their eyes. Granted that he also spends a lot on himself but little on the designs or the value of the ring. It is a completely different story if he spends little on himself and is also being theift on everyone else. When you are into vanity, is that wrong? everyone has their right to choose their own lifestyles and know internally how one's needs can be fulfilled. Do you have to change yourself and give up what makes you feel good only to be socially accepted or be part of a circle?
I hope your life partner would know you enough in the course of dating and open discussion what you want in life and what makes you happy. If he cares about you enough to pay attentions to your preference, it shows that he respects you for who you are regardless of his own preferences. Engagement rings generally mean much more to the women receiving and wearing it on a daily basis than it is for men.

I think it makes women worry because if the man proposes to you then it can only be assumed you've been dating forever, and he should know enough about you to know what you'd like, right? (Well maybe.. guys are helpless when it comes to this stuff. )

But I love him and even if the ring sucked a tiny piece of jewelry wouldn't make me question our (so far) 2 year and 3-month relationship. If anything I wouldn't have thought about it at all until I saw that episode. It was like "Wow IS it something I should worry about?"

He should know you well enough to know what ring suits you. But then I think of the wedding as the celebration of a marriage; not the start of a marriage.
He should buy what he can afford in the first place and pay attention to the jewelry you already wear. For example, I don't wear a single piece of jewelry unless it's very small earrings when I'm going out. Why on earth would a man buy me some big, huge-mongous yellow gold ring with clustered diamonds a nickle-wide?
It should be an accent to adorn your personality and if he's horribly wrong...that means he doesn't know your tastes very well. And if you have your heart set on a certain ring...pick it out with him. Like you would a house, a car, furniture...you have a say in dinner right?

I experienced right ring, wrong guy! Next time, I don't care if I get a diamond chip in a piece of tin foil...it doesn't matter. I just want a good, solid relationship. The little things (ring, wedding, honeymoon) don't matter at all if the relationship isn't right.

My ex-fiance used my great grandmother's diamond in a setting he chose. I loved that ring. It meant more to me than anything to have a family heirloom. He hated when I would tell anyone that it was my great-grandmother's diamond...red flag right there!!!

i got the right ring, but i also kind of hinted at what i wanted - and i know that if i didn't then he woudln't have gotten me a shape that i liked. i think that if you're not having the conversation with your man about what kind of ring you want, there's a HIGH probability that you're not going to get what you want since engagement rings aren't the typical shape of jewelry that you talk about all the time. i think that it's fair to mention that you really love the thought and effort behind the ring but really don't care for the shape at some point down the road and then hopefully you can trade it in for something that you do like.

I agree wholeheartedly with Mesayme.

Now, there's an extent. There's a big difference between simply not being in love with a ring, and hating it. If a guy gets you a ring that you HATE then he obviously hasn't been paying attention to your tastes at all. If you simply don't adore it, but are okay with it, that could easily be written off as him not being able to capture tiny nuances of jewelry.

I don't expect men to understand jewelry, but I do expect them to understand ME. If they have no idea what you like, then that might be an indication that you need some more time to work on the relationship, even if it just means getting to know each other better.

i would have no problem swapping his ring for one that i want....if you feel this guys is the right one, you shouldn't have any hesitations about telling him that you don't like the ring...its just a promise/engagement RING...the one that REALLY matters is the one when you say "I do." maybe you don't see it now...but wait a bit you'll realize that the wedding ring is so much more sentimental.

It's only material. You need to evaluate the whole situation first.

I was so lucky to get what I didn't expect!

My husband (then: boyfriend) collaborated with my mom behind my back for the design of the ring. He didn't know that a former classmate had become a jeweler/goldsmith but mom introduced him to that guy who has known me for such a long time. The ring is as special and unique as is DH.

... and they lived happily ever after.
The End.

I have always said that if a guy knows me well enough to propose then he should know that i NEVER like anything that anyone else picks out for me. My fiance has bought my countless gifts that i've gone "eh" over and he now knows that he should take me shopping because i'm not that into surprises.

That being said, naturally my fiance (then boyfriend) took me to look at rings after we started talking about getting engaged. we just went for fun but he got a sense of what I liked and surprised me at a seriously romantic dinner with a custom made ring. Admittedly, and i feel guilty about this, my first thought when i saw the ring was not 100% positive but that faded away verrry quickly! i absolutely love it!

I don't think that saying is true. The guy could be perfect and just not have very good taste, or maybe you guys haven't discussed what you want well enough. The guy is more important than the ring.

princess_eab: I love what you said. Omg, a ring from somewhere you guys have traveled together or just something that is important to both of you would be so amazing!!!!!!! Just something that looks simple, but has a bunch of meaning. And like you said again, an inscription that means something to you on the ring...wow. That is my kind of ring.

Honestly, that sounds very immature. You could have an amazing man who just doesn't know what you want as far as rings go. That could easily have been fixed with a simple thing: communication! If you're that picky, talk it over with him, give him some idea of what you might want in the future.

My question is "After all is this man really that amazing if he has no taste in jewelry (to me it is an art form)?" I am not even talking about perfect ring as in the one that is an exact clone to the image in my mind. I am talking about tasteful, presentable, artsy and classic ring that most of the population will not puke over. If he isn't sure he can always ask the girls who work there and say, "hey, which are the most popular style or designer rings that are most "hot" and in "fashion" now?" To me, a ring that makes you vomit is not just a figure of speech, there are rings that literally could make a person vomit. Those rings have to be absolutely worse and commerically made without giving consideration to the art form, the movement, the arch, the height, the sparkling, the cut and the romantic sentiment behind the ring. I am a trained architect in school and I look at everything from an accute perspective and jewelry choice is an important representation of one's taste in things.

I also won't go shopping with him b/c I think it takes away the mystery, surprise and the connection element from that all.... I want someone who is able to connect with me, understand me enough to share similar perspectives in life with me. This also we share similar taste in art, designs and the appreciations of forms and shapes.

when my husband proposed, I hated the ring! BUT, his mom and sister had picked it out. We had to return the ring, after I kept telling him that I wasn't ready for marriage yet, I was only 21 and still in college. I really hated the ring and didn't know how to tell him because I didn't want to offend his mom and sister. We picked out a new one, I picked it out! And it was one that he had originally wanted to buy! But his mom and sister had talked him into the "ugly" ring. We've been married ten years, and sometimes, the mom and sister thing are still offensive! The "family" is still intrusive at times. It may have been wrong ring/wrong guy though.
I try to take it one day at a time.

That's a TV show! In real life: If you have the right guy, you are not going to have the wrong ring!!!

Wrong ring wrong guy is just a script for hollywood. I knew this girl where I worked that thought very highly of herself. She soon got engaged to this nice young doctor. However the ring was just too small and she kept complaining about it with friends over lunch. She decided to ask her fiance to pick out a new one with her at a store that she liked better. Two months later he called off the engagement.
Too bad, huh. Can't say I miss the moral of the story, do you?

Well, in his case it was "wrong ring, wrong girl!"

I guess what I meant to say is that it's really not the ring that is the issue here. You either have the "right one" (person) or you don't.

Yes, I agree littlemzfit! Wrong girl! It would be foolish to base a such critical decision on a ring.
Sex In The City doesn't strike me as the real world at all anyway. Far from it. They take a few personalities and exaggerate it to the point of no return. Theres a few shows that seem to nail it on the head with dating, but I hope that women don't take that as true to life for dating guidance.