it depends on the guy....a guy who is trying to impress the b*tchiest girl in a group at a bar isn't the kind of guy you want to date anyway....the guy who notices you're friendly and different from your friends is the right guy for you...eventually someone will be genuine and actually see your specialness instead of simply trying to hit on the girls who are playing hard to get

they likely see the hard to get girls as the ones willing to go home with them, so if that's what you're looking to do, then act aloof. otherwise, your prince will come, and he will be more worth the wait

Well said, skigurl!

All these games and rules are stupid, whatever happened to just being genuine. Also, hasn't it always been known that alot (but not all) guys do like the chase?!

My take on it would be that the guys aren't necessarily attracted to the b*tchiness but to their confidence. I think if you exude confidence they will more likely start coming your way. Being more outgoing/confident while still being nice has worked for me quite well.

I agree with Dear and skigurl. Men are attracted to rude/pretty girls because it gives them sexual tension/a challenge. 'The chase' is not much more than a primal urge. (This is also why men often don't take no for an answer and think a girl is 'playing hard to get', even if she is really not interested in him.) If a man is interested in a girl who is both pretty and doesn't mind her rudeness, what does that say about his intentions? Obviously he's not looking for good character --> i.e. a relationship. Just sex or a fling. And it figures that you notice such behavior much more in bar settings, which is the ideal place for this.

I think you can be nice while still being a 'challenge'. You can be a nice girl who is at the same time confident and dignified enough to not seem an easy catch. It's important to not let it be visible that you are in fact eager to attract somebody; this doesn't mean you have to be a biotch.

Last thing; the kind of guys you mention overlook beautiful girls with nice attitudes all the time; it's because they are not necessarily looking for a pretty face, just a face that says...well, whatever it is that gives them that tension (come and get me, I'm too good for you, or whatever). So my point being; don't let that make you think there's something wrong with your attractiveness. Just be patient, continue to look good and laugh, socialize and do what you feel like, that way only the good ones will come to you

You'll be guaranteed a LOT of insecure *ssholes that way.

I've never been the b*tchy girl in the group and I've never had a problem dating... I guess the guys I'm attracted to aren't attracted to the b*tchy-type girls... theres hope! haha... Just be yourself and you'll find a guy who appreciates you and your kind attitude

Yes, I think some guys are attracted to that type of girl, but I think it's an immature contest against oneself. If they can win the mean girls' attention, then they must be hot stuff. It's kind of a game.

Guys are into confident girls. So, if you are sitting there thinking no guy is going to come up to you because they are going to talk to your friends, then you are right. So, think that they will come up to you instead. It sounds cheesy, but I swear it works!

how about being *rude* not in cool and not easy in the beginning of the chase to camouflage the very nice person you are. Bet those girls who are rude to the guys probably aren't too interested in the guys either. I think in the beginning, keeping a distance to evaluate each other is proper (rude as in evaluating you and not necessarily doing everything you ask me to do or believing everything the guy said), later as the relationship develops, you could show more of yourself.

I have a friend who is beautiful and totally b!tchy and rude (and married, too!) and guys still practically fall at her feet. Ugh. Morons!

I think skigirl has it right.

Why would you want to date men who are attracted to that anyways? All challenge and no substance...what do you think those guys are going to do once they win the chace or conquer your friends...dump them on move on to the next

I've tried it both ways. I am nice...they aren't interested or we date and they cheat. I'm a b*tch and they won't leave me alone...and still cheat. I don't think there's a win win situation. It seems all lose lose and much too tiring to even try.
So, I just continue being myself and not care about dating.

I'm with sierra16, what's the problem with being genuine? I've never had any problems getting a date when I wanted one, just being myself!

it does depend on the guy. If the guy has a big ego ,he will probally try to pull something like this. For example my boyfriend who is a self describe ego manic, did everything in his power to get me, cause i wasnt really feeling him. He really liked me as a person but he liked it even more that i didnt like him at the time ( i thought he was a jerk).... it's kinda sick if you think about it.

Dontaello, I am asian and I find your comment

"That's why a lot of guys like Asian women better. None of those $#!+ tests you get from Western women who think they are too hot for words." incredibly offensive.

We are not just all sterotypical and the same...like in porn. We are not all submissive like male fantasy paint us to be.

How would you like it if I said I only day white men because I like me a red neck hick who can go fix my truck?

Donatello thinks like a typical "rice junkie".

LOL CYL.

Donatello, that was racist, ignorant, prejudice and just plain stupid.

Donatello sounds like he got shot down ALOT. Bitter much?

"That's why a lot of guys like Asian women better. None of those $#!+ tests you get from Western women who think they are too hot for words."

Oh dear God.

This is exactly the attitude that turns me, an Asian woman, off.

Where is Donetello's comment? It seemed to have disappeared from this thread of discussion as I would love to comment on it. "Docile" and "submissive" could never be a description of me, not under any circumstances in this life, not in the next life and never in the many reincarnations that are in store for me. I am known for my feistiness and will be more than happy to respond to comments that portray women, in particular Asian women in a certain light.

see you hit the nail on the head when you said that it seems like it's a game - and that guys like the girls that are a bit rude to them. i don't think that you should change how you are because that's just not you. it's one thing to wait a day or 2 to call back but it's another to adopt a different personality just try to get a guy. you'll find the right one and maybe it's just a different place than a bar that you'll find him.

As a guy, I'll admit, there is something alluring and even intoxicating about the chase for me, and most of my male friends too. When I come across an attractive woman who is also fiesty, I just can't help myself but to persue her, using as much charm and wit as I can muster! I'm not saying that charm and wit is ingenuine or forced, but I make sure to present myself in the best light possible. It's a challenge! Of course, my lady was a nice girl for the most opart when we met. She was fiesty, tom-boy of a girl, but not rude. She put up a bit of resistance at first, but later admitted it was all a front. Women play that game too. I strongly believe that women KNOW within the first 2 minutes of meeting a guy if they're interested, and if so, how they're going to play things out. Granted, guys are usually attracted by faces and bodies, but for me, discovering what type of personality a woman has is an integral part of the chase.