Yes, because my parents would notice and think he wasn't brought up right. Somehow I always end up dating men who were taught table manners, though obviously it's not a precondition.

My man is ok...he eats his food REALLY fast but other then that I think I have made him brush up on his manners pretty good

Manners are VERY important.
Most guys my age (22) are very disrespectful. My boyfiend of 2 years is one of the most polite people I have ever met. He opens doors, says thank you, greets everyone, and doesnt treat girls like pieces of meat!

His Mom taught him well

Manners absolutely matter. Unfortunatly my husband came with very few, and I have had to school him these past 9 years. No elbows on the table, if someone asks you to pass something you dont take what you want and then pass it. stuff like that.

its definitely a deal breaker. while my family isn't super judgemental or anything like that, i would say that they are a bit more traditional. especially my grandparents on both sides. if the guy is sitting there with his legs crossed at the table...chews with his mouth open... is rude... etc... it definitely would not fly with them and i would be embarrassed.

my boyfriend isn't like this super neat freak gentleman all the time but he knows how to act and was raised with good manners at all times so that is never an issue.

Manners definitely matter. I'm trying to figure out when my for-the-most-part refined husband started chewing with his mouth open. Eww.

Manners matter HUGE!!!! If they cannot eat properly, slurp, chump their gums, It would drive me insane and be incredible unattractive.

Hee hee! My husband is pretty good, but I have to admit that his mother and sister have appalling manners at the table! They chew loudly with their mouths open, slurp, talk with mouths full...it seriously grosses me out! Strange, too because they are otherwise very classy ladies. Urg. I made my husband promise, promise me that when we have kids, we will teach them perfect table manners!

Manners make a difference sometimes but I dont think it would ever be a dealbreaker unless he was a complete slob. I cant stand people who chew with their mouths open so that my be a dealbreaker but everything else can be learned.

To me, good manners equate general thoughtfulness and that's what really matters to me.

yeah. stabbing at the piece of lettuce as hard as you can in the salad bowl won't make it stick. TACTIC. USE TACTIC NOT STRENGTH.

I agree with psterling.

I met my husband when we were really young so I think I've been able to "mold" him into a very mannerly man! I'm so proud of him. He always says "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome." He's respectful of people and watches his manners. Of course, he's still a GUY and will occassionally belch and stuff BUT, he's still very good compared to other men.

A man has to have good manners. Admittedly, I would not only judge him by his manners, but I would absolutely judge his parents. It's not hard to teach your kids a little common courtesy!

If he doesn't have good manners then I wouldn't be dating him.

It's not a deal breaker for me, but...when I fierst met my fiance he didn't put the napkin in his lap at nice restaurants lol. I don't know why it bothered me, but I said look around and tell me why you don't think you should, and he laughed and put it in his lap. He still forgets now and then, but now he remembers! He always acts annoyed like I am hasseling him, but he is teasing as he so loves to do. Also, for my work functions (which usually have a high class snootiness about them) I usually prep him (he asks) as in, remember the napkin, neither one of us should act like this is new, we need to act like we do this all the time, etc. I insist he rent tuxes when necessary or wear suits (he is a nurse so he has bought one suit to be able to accompany me as I work in the business field). It is so hard not to act like a child when you walk in on a red carpet surrounded by rich people haha, but I got used to it with him as we attended those things together for the first time. I on the other hand took some manners classes with miss manners in college (a luncheon where she walked around and pointed out how to properly dine when out for work) and it was VERY VERY helpful. even down to the kinds of food you should avoid ordering (like french inion soup and noodles) as they are awkward to eat without using two hands, slumping ovewer table, etc.

UMM, NOPE.

NO PROBLEM.
LUCKILY I HAVE DATED WELL MANNERED MEN. LOL.

MY EX HOWEVER, ONCE HE GOT COMFORTABLE, HE WOULD FAR IN FRONT OF ME!

LOL.

FART!

At home I don't really impose rules on adults with regards to manners other than do as you expect the children to follow, because they will...

In public though, all I ask if that he step it up a couple of levels 'make us look good'...
I expect him to be a man, not prim and proper, that would gross me out. But surely not act up 'Bobby Brown' style and condemn me to embarrassment hell!

A cross between Thomas Crown and Michael Kyle works for me.

So my comment didn't get posted, but I just said basically that eating at home is not supposed to be like dining with the queen. There are MUCH more important things to worry about than an elbow on the table or using the wrong fork. I appreciate manners in public, though. No loud burps (purposely, accidents happen), no chewing with your mouth wide open, and as long as you dont lick your plate then we're good!! lol

Manners are manners regardless
of where you are,or who is present.
Please and thank you's
are ALWAYS necessary.
My 5 year old son is aware of this.
I absolutely, would not date a man
that did not have proper table manners,
e.g the ability to use appropriate cutlery, chewing
with his mouth open, talking with his mouth full,
burping or farting in public..Spitting out the car window(EWWW)
Manners are a way of life, not something that you "put on"
per the occaision.

My fiance SWEARS that chewing with his mouth open brings out the flavor in his food lmao. So, as long as we aren't in public, I oblige. I mean, hey--that usually means the food is really good and he is savoring it, which compliments my cooking! lmao

cravinsugar, that is too funny! I haven't heard that one before but it's a good excuse...it makes my active imagination rev up. I'm just imagining you making him such an awesome dish and he loves it so much, his mouth is open so wide while chewing it starts falling out. and you're just like, "oh my garsh, thanks honey!!!" hehehe

HAHAHA RubberDog! He isn't QUITE that bad, but it took getting used to. I remember very well though one road trip we were on, we had just gotten something for breakfast on our way to go home, and i had not gotten any sleep at all that weekend, and he zstarted chewing with his mouth open and I snapped at him to shut it because I really thought it would drive me insane lmao. That's only happened once though haha

good manners are a must. Not just in someone I date, but in anyone really. I cant not stand it when people chew with their mouth open, or talk with food in their mouth. It also really peeves me when I see guys who spit on the ground. Its disgusting. Forgetting to say a please or thank you here or there, can probably slide, but if he NEVER says it, then I would get annoyed. Just knowing how to act like a decent person, is always good. I once went on a date with this guy who got completely smashed (it was our first date) He ended up puking in my bathroom and passing out on my couch. He was a nice enough guy, but the fact that he didnt have the decency to remain atleast a little sober on our first date, was enough for me to never call him again.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Little things like keeping your elbows on the table and not putting a napkin on your lap don't bother me. The only thing my boyfriend does is eat really fast like Lovely_1's boyfriend! My boyfriend has really good manners though.

My boyfriend eats really fast too. It doesnt bother me, as long as he keeps his mouth closed and isnt making nasty noises or a mess.

It's definitely a deal breaker. Not just eating with mouth full or open, but napkins unfold after the meal, forks and knives placed on the table wrong, I have hard time tolerating. Every single guy I have dated had impeccable manners.

well i think that having bad manners is something that i can't stand for. i don't expect that he will always open the door for me and things like that - but there are certain things that i have to have to stay with someone. if it means that i don't agree with chewing with your mouth open, or being lude - then those are things that i won't be ok with. i think that you can't lead by example if you have bad manners, and if my man doesn't - then that means that there's a chance that my kids won't - and that's NOT ok.

I think good manners are important. Not every second of the day, but when it counts.

I'm hoping for advice: BF and I are in our early 50's. His ex did not teach (now grown) children table manners and he may not have been exposed to many. Almost every Sunday evening we eat with his son and DIL (for a reason, this will end in June) who have atrocious manners (I've seen/heard intentional belly-burps, leaning practically down to the plate to shovel food in, both arms on table, finger licking, open moth for everything, and always the grossest language in everyday conversation.) BF has high-level corporate job and is pretty good except smacking and leaning. Last week was the final straw. This coming Sunday night I've lined up going to nice restaurant with my own 23yo daughter (to enjoy a bit more refinement
I've very carefully tried from the angle that his 6 yo grandson needs to learn Correctly at this age up ...
P-l-e-a-s-e offer helpful suggestions ...