Well...she was part of his life and still is..so you can see why he has trouble letting go.

If it really is an issue, you might want to ask him, how he would feel if you had a picture of your ex up. And than explain how it makes you uncomfortable and why you think him not seeing a problem with the picture being up bothers you. But DO stress you ahve no issue with him being friends or in contact with her. I mean I think his reaction should have been to take it down and put it in a photo ablum isntead of displaying it in a room.

However in the end its only a picture. You can make a big stink out of it, but it will just harm your relationship...and over a picture? It doesn't seem like its just about the picture but more about the issue of why you are not ok with it. Are you afraid that he might not be totally "over" her? I mean if you have no reason to be insecure or jealous about the picture...it is just a picture, let it go and don't fester over it and work yuorself up. Think of it like the picture of the family dog.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi

I think you're overreacting about it a little. Let him know it makes you uncomfortable but be prepared that he may continue to refuse to remove the picture. I still have pictures of my exs around though most of them are in shoe boxes but if I was with someone for 4 years.. i'd say he had been a pretty substantial part of my life and I wouldn't remove it just because a new boyfriend is feeling a little insecure.

There are bigger things to worry about in life. Let this one go. It's not like you discovered secret text messages or something.

I wouldn't let this go. This is offensive. Something should click like, oh, I have a new girlfriend, maybe she doesn't want to stare at the face of someone I had sex with for 4 years? It should be common sense. Maybe I just hold this at a higher level of importance than most but I certainly wouldn't just 'let it go.' I would never keep up a picture of my ex and disrespect my current like that.

I'm with candace87 on this one.

I also don't understand why people don't think this is a big deal. Remaining friends is one thing, but I'm sorry.. I don't have any "black and white" professional looking pictures of a friend in my place. Me and my girlfriends, yeah.. but does he REALLY need to make you feel uncomfortable by keeping up his ex's picture? Just because they are friends, which I commend him for being mature, he doesn't need to be reminded of the friendship every time he goes home and looks at her picture.. and nor do you.

It's not so much the picture.. it's the idea that their relationship is in the past and her picture should go in the bottom drawer (or preferably out the window.. haha jk jk).. and the new picture at his place should be of YOU.

I'd be super ticked off... I'd tell him that I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable... the same way he'd feel if I had a pic displayed of my ex boyfriend... thats nonsense... he could just be waiting to see how long it takes you to get annoyed enough to finally ask him to take it down... who knows... I'd be honest and let him know it bothers you... at least he'll know you care

You're not overreacting. Um, hello? I had a recent breakup with a boyfriend of three years and the FIRST thing I did was take down all of our pictures! Sure, we're friendly, but we don't talk on the phone everyday - that would mean that we weren't over each other. I *definitely* wouldn't have a picture of him in my home! And *especially* not if my new guy were coming over! It's amazingly arrogant, to me, that he won't take it down. Red flags all over this one - proceed with caution!

When he's not in the room turn the picture around. He probably won't even notice. If he does and asks about it, just look at him puzzled and say I have no idea.

I wouldn't like it either, but if he's not going to take it down, then make a joke out of it.

I'd be really weirded out too.

YET, I'm a photographer, and I had this one picture of my ex (you couldn't see his face) that I thought was part of my best work, so I didn't want to take it down. I ended up doing it because my BF was so uncomfortable, but I have to say, that picture in no way made me think of my ex or reminded me of our relationship or anything of the kind - it was just a picture I took that I thought was awesome and nothing more.

So maybe you don't need to overthink it - but I know how hard it would be for me, so if you can't get over it, you should just explain nicely to him it makes you feel uncomfortable and a bit jealous and insecure, and hopefully he's a nice guy who'll understand - and take it down.

http://teamsugar.com/gallery/view/1088573?page=0,19,0

This is the photo of the ex in question

If my BF was miffed by that, I can understand your being upset at a full on portrait!

candace. i agree with you. i wouldnt have pictures of my ex's out and were still friends. thats just called having respect and consideration for the new person in my life.

Karlotta! That is an AWESOME picture. like something that would be on the cover of CD or something. damn girlll you work that camera!

Karlotta, I love the photo. My husband is ok with my son having pics up of his dad who is deceased but to whom I was married to first. I don't keep up photos of him because I have moved on with my life and choose to display new memories. I still talk about my ex and my husband is okay with it. He knows that my ex's death was hard on my son and I. In a break up situation I think it is inconsiderate to display pics of ex's. Really who would want to make out in a room with a pic of the person your lover was hooking up with before you staring at you?

I would have freaked out and walked out, knowing I was only the rebound girlfriend after all and could never fully have this guys heart until he was over his ex.

Don't push this, because it sounds like he might make it into a "she means more to me than you mean to me and I'm keeping it up and if you don't like it, leave" type thing. no one wants to go there, right? And what you want is to feel recognized, right? It's a black and white picture that he just hasn't gotten around to taking down yet. So, why not get an absolutely gorgeous picture of yourself and then maybe one with you and him and put it up there as well? you're not controlling him by demanding he take a picture of a dear friend down, but you're also celebrating where he is right now- and that's with you.

I think that if he has an immediate response, then he had already noticed it and knew he should take it down. I think its ok to still keep it, she was (and is) part of his life, but it doesnt need to be displayed in his house for all to see. I would probably talk to him about how it hurts my feelings, and ask him to take it down- but emphasize i'm not asking him to get rid of it completely. If that doesnt work, start putting pictures of your guy "friends" up!! At least maybe he could realize how it feels...so he can decide if its "irrational" or not!

uh, yeah, i'd ask him to take it down. Kate, that's sexy avatar.

i'm with candace and the other ones on this one where i think it's a memory and while it isn't a huge deal for him to keep the picture and speak with her occasionally i dont think its right that he has a picture in plain sight in his house and also that he speaks with her all the time and would rather keep a picture of her up than respecting your feelings.

and in response to herjoiedevivre's comment...

actually she should want to go there right now instead of him doing that much later on in the relationship. if he picks someone he isn't in a relationship with over his current girlfriend i guess you will see where you stand and that clearly he cares more about her than he does you. i wouldn't shy away from confronting anything that makes you upset or uncomfortable in your relationship just for the sake of not finding out how he really feels so you can be spared your feelings for awhile. this will blow up in her face. if he chooses her anytime over you then its time to reevaluate your relationship.

Put a picture of YOUR ex up in YOUR house. I think that will send a nice hint- ha.

in regards to missjules:
I really kept a close eye on this thread because I've been there and I guess I'm speaking from personal experience, but my guy was a good guy. and he had dated his last girlfriend for 2.5 years before me. and he still had some stuff just lying around his room. pictures, cards, whatever. and I sure did flip out about it within the first few months, and he told me that they were just friends, that it didn't mean anything, and in a few months he got around to boxing it up, never to be seen again. and now there's pictures of me.
I'm all about honest confrontation. maybe a little too much. but what I meant about don't go there is, don't make it about you versus her, "does the fact that you have this picture up mean you don't care about me!". because it's just a picture, in all honesty. and he was/is very close to her. don't make such a big deal about it that he feels like you're forcing him to choose. because anyone who feels like someone is forcing them to choose doesn't choose the forcer. wow...what an awful sentence.
basically: I still think that putting up your picture is the right thing to do, and letting some time pass before you ask again. politely. and then after that, he should respect how you feel and take it down, it's been long enough. if he doesn't listen to your feelings at all, then there's a whole nother set of problems been there too.

also I don't mean to invalidate your feelings by saying "it's just a picture". what I mean is, I think that he truly thinks it's "just a picture", a comforting reminder of a friend.

He sounds protective about her and their relationship. It also sounds like he's not going to stand for you telling him what to do with the picture. I honestly don't know where I stand on this. I think the picture in and of itself is harmless but what it indicates could be harmful... I don't know - it seems like if you two really can't get enough of each other that things are good and he's into you. I think I'd try to let it go.

it's taken me years and years and years to understand this about guys, but honestly they just don't always get it. i know that it's a really general statement that i made that doesn't apply to all guys, but guys just don't always get it. i think that in his mind he thinks that it's fine to have that picture and to think that she's just his friend so you should accept it. i think that as a woman, we tend to get a bit territorial about things like this, and it's something that he's going to have to understand. since it's been just 5 months - i think that it may be too soon to get into the discussion about why it may not be the best thing, but for now, i think that it'll just cause a fight that i'm not sure that you'll want to get into.

just let it go and then take tons of pictures of you guys together at all the fun places in the world... sooner or later, your couple pictures would cover up the pic of the ex-gf. I know, it is easier said than done. Also it takes time. I cried and my ex removed her pictures right away but what is the use if he is not really a picture person. best of luck to you.

In a way I'm with Candace. I took down photos of my ex when I started dating my partner, I figured it was best to get rid of them for the both of us, we didn't need it poisoning the relationship.

However when we started the first thing my partner said to me was he had a photo of the first girl he slept with in his wallet. I said I was cool with it, and I am, she was a huge part of his life and they haven't been together for a long time now. I accept that and I'm fine with it.

The girl in this photo has the same back story, she was a huge part of his life and he needs to take her photo down in her own time. The most you can do is be upfront about how it makes you feel, he can either accept that or tell you otherwise.