We've discussed how a friends-with-benefits situation can lead to problems. But if you're single, sometimes you want to be able to enjoy a little nooky with a partner who you actually know, so there are some perks to having a trusted booty call. Of course it's all about finding a balance between physical intimacy and emotional detachment. In the hopes of helping achieve this perfect and elusive equilibrium of the casual hook-up, Daily Bedpost has formulated a list of 25 rules. I picked my favorites below, and threw in a few of my own, too.
- Both parties must be either single or in open relationships.
- Exes you are currently friends with make ideal booty call partners. However, if one party broke the other's heart, pursuing a booty-call arrangement is a no-no (at least for 24 months).
- If you're not having fun, then by definition, it isn't a proper booty call.
- Just because the sex is casual doesn't make it an appropriate topic for casual conversation. Be discreet.
- Don't assume that duration implies relationship progression.
Click here to see the rest of Daily Bedpost's rules, and to check out my additions, just read more.
- If you feel yourself getting emotionally invested, don't convince yourself that he's feeling the same way. In fact, as soon as you notice those feelings rising without reciprocation, end things.
- Don't use someone who has feelings for you as your casual hook-up. Imagine how you'd feel if someone did that to you.
- Even if you're not sleeping with anyone other than him, get STI tests regularly. (You don't know who else he might be having sex with.)
Triumph
Tom Tailor
Airness
Totally agree with this!
1I've done booty call's before but I never did want a man that was in a open relationship! The benefits leave when he has someone else on the side so you have to make sure on how you and that person define OPEN! I do agree with the statistics b/c some people can't really see it like this until it is broken down!
2The fact that this is acceptable explains the high STD statistics... a tragedy of love and decency.
3I have another one...do not forgo other potentially longer-lasting relationships. No matter how good the sex is. It's sometimes easy to get lazy when you're getting laid regularly but the casual hook-up always ends eventually...
4I'm so glad I'm too old for this... (ha ha, late 20s)
5no one is never that old for causal hook ups. I love cyber ones, no STD and still get your needs fulfilled. People say I have high standard I just think that I am so easily satisfied.
6Rules of casual sex - kind of an oxymoron, haha. Does successful 'casual sex' actually exist outside of tv soaps? All my casual sex hookups have resulted in relationships at one point or another...
7Joielin, what an encouragement, you mean you could actually lure a guy to like you after having some hookups with him. I need to work on my vagina muscles. Can you have so good of the sex that you are willing to just sit still and learn more of the person as supposed to tossing her aside the very next day?
8I'm 22...is it weird that I've never had the desire, nor (and I can say this with utter certainty) will I ever--to take part in the "random, no strings hook-up"?? Man, I just cringe at what a clinger I'd most likely be...that or an emotional basket case. For me, it's much safer to go the boyfriend route
9This is from the Daily Bedpost site:
"5. Unless otherwise agreed upon, after midnight on a school night is too late to call. On weekends, all calls should be made at least five minutes before closing time."
On a SCHOOL night? What kind of audience are these people writing to. I haven't said "school night" since highschool. They should have said "week nights" or "work nights" or something.
10i thnk that we all think that it's ideal to have friends with benefits but honestly, i don't know too many of my female friends who have been able to manage this without getting attached. i had a friend for about 2 years that was my buddy - an it worked out nicely for both of us, cause we were able to come back to each other when we wanted, but it wasn't like we got overly attached to one another. i think that it's nice that he and i are still friends and we know that we wouldn't go back to that relationship but that it was the right thing at the time for us.
11Jezum peeze, ladies: http://teamsugar.com/user/Fallen85/blog/1649610
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