Maybe you've gotten an email or two from some nice people in Nigeria with a whale of a financial opportunity — but if you get a text from Nigeria titled “I swear, I will make sure I give you HIV," don’t call the police. It may just be someone’s idea of an affectionate overture. When you open the text you'll most likely then read “H is for happiness and joy forever with an I: Incomparable love that will never V: Vanish until death do us part. I love you.”

It’s the new way to wow your mate from the new book Touching the Heart Through Unforgettable Text Messages (Volume 2) written by Femi Emmanuel, who writes text messages for those either too busy or illiterate to express their feelings. The book is marketed mostly to Nigerians, who have been described as obsessive text senders and who are tired of the usual courtship texts littering their phones.

To see where the inspiration comes from, read more.

Femi gets his inspiration mainly from Indian (Bollywood, as some call them) films. He says, “I was watching a Bollywood film and the main actor said to his lead ‘Hey baby, I’m a crazy lover.’ I thought ‘That’s good,’ I paused the DVD and copied down the subtitles.” If you think that’s corny, consider the fact that he has published four volumes of his quotes and has purchased a new car from the profits.

Hey, what ever happened to pager code? 1-4-3? Anyone?

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