Aw, you do sound overwhelmed. It sounds like you are pretty aware of the problems you are having and now you just have to take a few steps to fix them.

The first thing is it sounds like you wait around a lot for your boyfriend and want to spend all your free time with him. So to solve that, you need to get a hobby or join a club of some sort. Or maybe you should pick up a part time job for a month or so to try to get your finances in order. If you start doing activities that make you happy you will feel better.

The second thing is you have to stop yourself from pestering your boyfriend. Every time you start feeling like you want to whine and nag him, just don't. Force yourself to smile and say that you hope he has a great time with his friends and you'll talk to him soon.

You are making this person your whole life. If you fill your life with other interesting things you will find you are a whole person without this guy. And that is ultimately what attracts men long term.

great advice pop! i can completely understand where you're coming from, i have found myself in this position before. but i agree with pop, you need to find things to distract yourself. no matter how much you want to torture your boyfriend (and it is torture for him) with your neediness, don't! if you love each other, then it's bad enough for him to have to leave you for 2 months without you making it worse. you have already said it yourself, your behavior is driving him away(easier said than done i know)
before he leaves, maybe for your anniversary, why don't you do something to show him how much you appreciate and love him. for example, how about planning something for when he returns, clue him into it now, and then not only will he see that you're trying to accept his leaving and be mature about it, but also you will both have something to look forward to when he returns.
as for while he's gone? you have to find something to do other than wallow in misery. get together for card night with the girls on a certain night of the week, get a part time job to help with your debt, and i strongly advise joining a class for exercise. it's definitely been proven to improve your mood and general sense of well being, among other benefits. not only will it get you out of the house, but it will keep you looking hot for lover boy's return (oh what will he think?).
Keep heart and be brave.

Simplybe and pop have some good advise
I think there are a few things you can do to help yourself feel better. First off you need to make a financial plan...crunch the numbers to find out how you can reduce the depts that are weighing so heavily on you (you may need a second job, or just a different one). You also need to care for yourself physically in order to feel more uplifted. That means regular exercise, fresh air, good healthy food. If you are feeling worn out and tired, ask your dr. to do a blood test to check if you are low on iron or B12, these things (among others) can seriously affect your mood. If the cost of joining a gym is too much, buy some simple home equipment, I use an exercise ball and some light weights at home and go for walks several times a week. As for your emotional health, I think it might be benificial for you to start a journal as a way to vent your feelings without having to burden your boyfriend. He's pulling away because he feels a lot of pressure from you to make you feel better, and that is not his job. You should let him know that you are actively working on improving your life and you hope that when he gets back from his course you can enjoy the rest of the summer together before his college classes start again. He needs to hear out loud that you trust him and that you are happy for him for getting a good education and working hard with extra schooling. If you two end up together in the long run his education will be a benefit to you both, so be patient with him. Lastly, these girls are right, you need to pick up some fun hobbies, start doing volunteer work, and just get outside of your head more...do things that make your day brighter!

this is all great advice but try not to be overwhelmed with what we're offering you (as i agree with everything that's been said).

why not start by showing your boyfriend this post so he knows that you're aware that you are having some problems in your life? I think that would go a long way in showing that you aknowlege the problem and want to change. Frankly, that's half the battle and admitting to yourself that this is an area you want to change is the first step in making it better so be proud of yourself for that!

Why not pick 2 or 3 things that you think appeal to you (i.e. looking for a new job, choosing a new hobby, joining a gym or exercising more, etc) and take small steps every week towards each of those goals. Make a list of what you want to accomplish and use the time that your boyfriend is away to really go for these things. In the meantime, start networking for a new job or take time to go to an event with a friend to test out new interests.

Good luck! We all go through funks so i wish you the best.

Hey there,
I was in the same boat you were 10 months ago. I was pinching pennies and trying to rob Peter to pay Paul. The stress of money and debt can create a HUGE umbrella of stress over your life. It can really seep into every crack of your everyday life and relationships.

I am not sure what area you live in – but there are many debt consolidation groups that can help you. Many banks offer these type of programs along with a consolidation loan and can help you budget. If you have student loans – talk to your bank about getting all your loans lumped into one loan with a low interest rate. (Just beware of the groups that say you have to put money up front in order for them to help you. Typically those are scammed. Do not use a quick cash company either. They have interest rates that are soooo high that you end up paying three or four times more than you borrowed.)

Once I had the weight of debt lifted off of me – my life improved 10 fold. It took me about two months to get my money under control and used to living on a budget – and once it did – wow. The reward! My whole outlook on life improved. I was happier – my relationship with my friends, family and long distance boyfriend improved. I was happy at work and I could focus more. Trust me – happiness is around the corner!

My grandparents taught me the secret that their parents taught them before there were atm cards and reliable banks. (aka: during the depression.)

First sit down and take a look at your finances and bills you have to pay.
Then take a look at what you bring home a month. Calculate your mandatory bills such as a car payment, cell phone, rent, gas etc.

Now if you get paid every week you want to divide your number by four. If you get paid every two weeks. Divide the number by two. (Example: Car payment $475.00 a month – is now $118.75 every week or $237.50 every two weeks.) Do the same with each of your mandatory bills.

Now see how much you have left over for your personal effects: Personal products, entertainment, clothes, car repair, savings etc. Divide those out too. Try to make a little stash for savings – maybe $25 a week. Maybe cut back on Starbucks or McDonalds. But saving just a little really adds up.

Now when you get paid – you want to withdraw that money from the bank in cash. (I usually do it the Saturday after I get paid.) Take some blank envelopes and write each category on it. You want to put the money you divided into those envelopes and put them in a filing cabinet or someplace safe.

Now at the end of the month when the bill comes – you take that money out of the envelope that you have been collecting every payday and now you have the money to pay your car or your cell phone etc. And if you have any money left over in your personal envelopes – put it back into a savings account. I usually do this when the number reaches $100-150.00.

This method really helped me. Since August I have been able to save over $2,000.00. Mind you have I had to dip into savings for $800 car repair and Christmas gifts – but I didn’t beat myself up about it. I knew I saved money for that reason – and I wasn’t panicking about how I was going to make it. But taking the money OUT of the bank kept me from using the atm card. I would pull out the money I needed for the week and once it ran out – it ran out. I couldn’t touch my atm card. It taught me how to think twice when I bought things and really bargain shopped. And when I did save up and buy something expensive – I really appreciated it more.

Hang in there sweetie. Admitting you are having trouble is the FIRST and BEST step. Now you can work on getting your life on track. We have ALL been there. We have all been ‘broke as a joke.’
DO NOT feel ashamed or embarrassed. We are proud that you spoke up! We are all here for you!

Good Luck!

great advice from all-i even learned some things!

I agree about the debt advice. Why don't you also go for those check cards that round up every purchase to the next dollar and put the change in savings? I know the sound of a second job sounds dreadful and that would mean more time away from your bf, but while he's away it's a perfect excuse to work on yourself a little bit. Don't stress yourself out by piling too much on yourself...find your limits.

As for the bf, I don't want to sound negative or anything, but you need to prove something to him now. You need to prove that you are a strong, intelligent and independent woman that doesn't need some man to decide how she's gonna live her life. Not only should you prove that to him, but you need to prove it to yourself. Once that happens (And it can happen quicker than you think) I think your life will change drastically.