It's your body, your choice, and he needs to respect that. Don't let him pressure you into anything you're not comfortable doing. He gives you the silent treatment? That's real mature. Honestly, what does he want from you? If he has a problem with the frequency, I don't think going off birth control is going to help when you only see him once a month. If/when you do see him more often, it's an easy enough compromise to make: you'll make an effort to get in the mood more often (tell him how he can help) and he can stop getting pissy about it.

There is the possibility of trying another brand or method of birth control which may put less of a damper on your sex drive. But then again, that could potentially have some undesirable effects as well. If you're content with what you're currently on, I would stick to that.

Uhm, what is he in this relationship for? I don't understand it- he wants to bump like bunnies (one a month, when he's around) and is not concerned about your personal choice to use BC? He wants you to do it just to "make him happy" and when you tell him you haven't, he doesn't talk to you? Sorry, but this guy sounds like a jerk. Even if I had a crazy high sex drive, his attitude would certainly stop me from wanting to do it with him.

He seems very selfish and apparently you have a problem with it. i say, if you are not ready to carry his baby, dont get off the pill. better yet, find a new guy who appreciates you! you are in college, i am sure there are plenty if you just give them a chance. =)

It is your body, you only get one...own it and do not rent it out.

Firstly: if he's truly so immature as to pressure you into stopping a beneficial medication purely for his convenience, dump his ass. Seriously. Of course, we only have your side of the story, so it might be a bit more complicated than that.
How much of a problem do you perceive your lower libido to be? Enough of one to work on it? Could it be caused by other (relationship) problems as well? If it's truly only the pill and you want to try something to fix this particular pill-related problem between you, do like Pistil said: try a different brand. I suspect the problem may be rooted deeper than just the pill, though, in which case you may have to evaluate your relationship with him.

I agree with everyone else. he's trying to guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to. and thats completely not fair. The only reason he keeps pressuring you is because he is being completely selfish. If the pill make yours periods easier to handle and you don't mind using it then tell him that. Especially if you don't feel your sex drive is that bad. Another reason to stay on the pill -- not to get pregnant. Sure, sure he can wear a condom but what if breaks. Things happen and you don't want to have to end up relying on the morning after pill, especially if your still in college. If he's pressuring you about something like this. what else is he pressuring you about or what else will it be in the future? Stand up for yourself and don't let yourself get used by him. I went through a similar situation that started out much like this and that relationship later became emotionally abusive (not to say that yours will). But by him guilt tripping you and pressuring you, it puts extra stress on you. Especially if he's going to be immature about the situation and sulk and not talk to you about the issue. That sends a message - a message that he only wants you off the pill for his own stupid selfish reasons and doesn't care what you want. And that what you want in a boyfriend.
Be yourself, and do the things you want for you and as your boyfriend he'll just have to accept that if he really loves you. and if he doesn't there are plenty of nice guys out there who will love you, not guilt trip you and not be immature.

I agree with everyone else, but if you yourself are concerned about the drop in your desire, try a different pill. I know periods suck, but if you don't mind going back to having one a month instead of everyone four months, you might find a pill that can help with your excitement.

I agree that it is your choice and your call.

I will also say that when I started going on BC, my sex drive took a huge dive... and I never got it back when I went off it.

I say lose him. He sounds very selfish. My guess is that if he is unsatified with your sex life with him then he is probably also cheating. What young guy only has sex once a month. Even if you did go off the pill, I'm sure he would find something else to make you feel guilty about(maybe not trying new things).I've been in manipulative relationships, they make it seem like they love you so much and you should do anything to make them happy, it's just a mind game!

I would think him guilt tripping you like this isnt really doing anything for your sex drive either- I would venture to guess that if you did give in to this that the next thing would be, "oh but babe- sex just isnt as good with a condom on, Ill pull out I promise"

I think its terrible that hes ok with you suffering every month with terrible cramps just so that hes satisfied- what kind of guilt is he going to lay on you when you dont want to have sex bc your curled into the fetal position from the cramps?

I agree with everyone above. Don't let him pressure you. If your current pill is causing you problems, switch to another pill. But don't let him persuade you into going off the pill. He's being selfish and immature.

Your body your choice as to what kind of birth control you want to use.

try switching to a different kind of pill. different ones have different levels of hormones and different side effects. my friend had to switch because Yaz made her sex drive nonexistent. talk to you doctor. but like all these ladies are saying, it's YOUR body and YOUR decision.

What everyone else has said..its your body..you shouldn't have to go off the pill if you don't want to, to make him happy. A relationship is NOT all about sex...its important but if that is what he sees as the biggest issue...he is coming off as immature and just worried about how much ass he is getting.

You can try changing pills..maybe to one that gives you a period every month?! Every pill is different.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi

As everyone has said, this is ultimately your decision and your body. The only question I have is are you happy with where your sex life is? You having a weak sex drive, not only effects your bf but you too. Have you thought about alternative birth control pills? Sometimes your body reacts differently to different doses and different pills. A lot of times, experimenting with other options can help you find a pill that fits you best.

You only see him once a month? Girl, how is that your boyfriend? Sounds like a fling to me. I never had a problem with sex drive & bc but I've never taken yaz either. Maybe you should try a different type of pill like everyone else is suggesting. But I definitely WOULD NOT get off the pill. Especially to appease a man I only sleep with once a month.

Don't let anyone pressure you to do something you don't want to! You sound like your headed in the right direction. Focus on school and don't let this bother you. If he insists on no bc, maybe you should let him go. Sometimes in relationships you have to compromise but this topic is non-negotiable. Stay on your pills.

Good luck

He sounds like an immature little brat. I'd dump his ass and take bets on how long it will take for him to knock a chick up. He's the type of guy that will have 9 kids and 9 different baby mammas by the time he's 30.

Wtf. Break up with that loser. It's your body, your choice. He needs to grow up.

umm you're boyfriend seems like a total "winner". this is the kind of guy who after gets you pregnant will blame you and leave you. i say you leave him first.

the pill is definitely beneficial in many ways and some people need it (whether for the birth control, cramping, cysts, irregular periods, etc..) and NO one has the right to tell you what to do with your body.

i say you look into trying another pill that will give you the benefits you are looking for without impeding on your libido. and while you're at it i would leave this loser and find someone to try out your new sexual appetite on.

Its your body, you're the one who has to deal with the physical consequences of getting off the pill...its your decision and he needs to understand that and get over it...what hes doing to you is not fair.

I think that's really selfish of him! Yes, BC can affect your sex drive, but if you don't feel like it's that negatively affected and overall you're feeling better about your health and comfort level, then you should stay on it! Plus what would you do if you got off BC? Use a condom? That's less effective. Use norplant, nuvaring, an IUD? Those will have side effects too! Even if you're only having sex a couple times a month, you're still having sex and need to protect YOURSELF.

You should NEVER compromise your own health and well being just for some boy. There are plenty of men out there who treat women the way they are supposed to be treated. Find one and keep him.

You realize that if you become pregnant, he wont be patting you on the back? How dare you inconvenience him by protecting yourself.

Tell him you don't want to get pregnant, and that he needs to get over himself. What a freaking baby; this is completely ridiculous and immature behavior on his part! Most forms of hormone-related birth control could have a potential affect on your sex drive. And some other posters have it right -- condoms are way less effective means of birth control (plus, he'd probably whine if you asked him to strap on). I strongly recommend you give this guy a talking-to where you don't budge on this issue. If he can't handle that, I'm sure you can find someone who can. His reasons are just not good enough...there's no common sense in them whatsoever.

Good luck, and don't worry about his lame attitude. He has to fix it himself.

heeeeeeey controlling issues. this happened to me with my ex boyfriend. to a certain extent. I went on the PATCH. and my sex drive just feel through the floor for like.. 6 months. TUrns out, I just wasn't attracted to him anymore either. As soon as I got out of the relationship and realized what a baby he was, I enjoyed myself so much more.

It all comes down to listening to your heart, AND head. Don't do that kind of dangerous stuff with your body just for him. It's just dangerous.

Well I do agree with the it's your body so your choice (as the others have stated). But you can consider talking to your doctor about changing pills because of the way this one is having an impact on your sex drive.

How do I ask a question for group therapy. It's extremely important!

How do I ask a question for group therapy. It's extremely important!

Sorry, long post:

I definitely agree with the fact that it's her body, and she should definitely be able to take the pill if she wants to take it, and that it's really lame of her boyfriend to be giving her the silent treatment (?!) for not getting off of it.

But there are some ladies jumping to some conclusions that aren't fair to the OP. Seeing a boyfriend once a month counts as having a boyfriend. She said that she's in college, which implies that they're in a long distance relationship. And it doesn't necessarily mean that he's being unfaithful to her. If her were cheating on her, why would he care so much if she "couldn't get it up", so to speak?

I do understand where the OP is coming from: my boyfriend and I don't get a lot of alone time together--conflicting schedules, a bit of a physical distance between our respective places of dwelling, dumb things that always interfere with us getting it on--plus, I'm on Yaz, which really killed my sex drive for a while (however, it's come back... I guess it takes patience and strong willpower or something). So that meant that whenever we were actually alone, I wasn't jumping his bones the minute I saw him. And he understandably got sulky when I just felt like cuddling every time and he felt like doing other things. (He actually thought, though,, that he wasn't attractive to me anymore, so he was feeling bad about himself.) There'd be times when I'd tell him, "it's the pill," and he'd say something like "can't you do anything about it?" and I'd be like, "no, I have to take it, I don't want to get pregnant and it helps my period and it's made my boobs bigger which you seem to like" and he'd be annoyed but never once did he insist that I stop taking it! So yeah, I can relate to everything but that.

We worked it out, anyway; it's been pretty good for us for quite a while now. Tell him that he needs to grow up. Tell him that if you stopped taking it, there'd be a chance that you'd have your period on that one weekend that you got to see him, which he probably wouldn't enjoy too much. Or, hello, that you'd get pregnant (does he not realize that, btw??)! Tell him that you'll try to get yourself in the mood for him as long as he acknowledges that it's your body and he has absolutely no command over what you choose to do with it and that when he acts like that it makes you not want to have sex with him even more than the pill. If he can't accept that, and admit that he's wrong, then... his loss.

OhMyDragonflys, here is the address for Group Therapy:
http://dearsugar.com/node/add/blog/grouptherapy

Good luck!

there is NO NEED to jump the gun and dump the guy... men can be selfish when they dont understand the deeper issues at hand with birth control and why we know we need to take it to look after out bodies, regulate our periods and just protect ourselves from unwanted pregnancies. i do know that some BC's cause a drop in libido, thats why it's sometimes a good idea to toy around with a few brands, try one for a few months, c how it works, if it's not suited for u, try another one. it's all about elimination. i'm quite surprised at the comments about Yaz b/c im on it and i have had no side effects whatsoever and my sex drive is as high as ever... higher than my bfs sadly
talk to him.. im sure u have but try again to make him understand the reasons y u want to remain on the pill.. tell him u will make an effort to either find a brand that doesnt affect ur sex drive or u will make an effort to get in the mood more when u do c him... if he still acts like a brat.. drop him like a hot potato cos gurrrlllffriieennd ur in college.. enjoy

Yes! I had the same problem! Try switching to a lower dose, for me that made all the difference. I don't know which brand you're on, but Yasmin has worked really well for me. It's the only one that shortened my periods, took away my cramps, cleared my skin and didn't kill my sex drive.

Ask your doctor to switch your Rx - most will do so over the phone, your problem is a common one. Then ask your boyfriend to be patient whle you find the right brand.

given that he wants sex to feel the best possible for him, i'm guessing condoms aren't in the offing if you get off BC, hmm?
he sounds like an idiot and you sound like not the brightest crayon in the box, either, for even entertaining this. you should absolutely not get off the pill to "increase your sex drive" for him. if YOU personally think your libido is down (which you say you don't) then you can talk to your doctor about switching perscriptions. my guess is that he's a moron who heard that girls get...ahem...less dry or something when they're not on the pill.

The poster says she agrees that their sex life was better before she was on the pill. And it's true that many/most pills kill libido. Google it, Onesong, and you'll see it's the #1 complaint about the pill.

For a woman you don't know much. There are hundred of pills out there. You can change up your pill if it is reducing your sex drive. As for him, he sounds like a big baby and an idiot. Never go off the pill unless you're ready to have a baby, because that is the end result.

have you considered the alternative types of birth control to the pill? i know that there are side effects to all of them, but i think that if something else you can take will avoid this issue then maybe it's something to consider. i think that it's really important that you realize that you're doing the right and responsible thing about being on the pill to begin with, and i think that he should realize that you're trying not to get into a sticky situation with a baby on the way.

Yeh that's pretty lame. The only reason I would ever every insist on my girlfriend/fiance/wife, off the pill is if it were causing some health issues, cuz I don't like the way she has sex. Maybe the doesn't like sex cuz he just sucks at it. I'm surprised he's not thinking "maybe I can't please my women in the sack is why she doesn't have much of a sex drive." Some guys are just dicks, do what you want, your body, your life, your decision. He doesn't own you or your body.