I definitely think it works both ways!! I've been guilty of this. The key is cooking together healthily during the week and if you want, working out together. I've become addicted to working out anyway, but if you can encourage him to share an exercise you both like, all the better.

i find its best to workout together

My man used to always style his hair and now he never does. His hair is kinda longer and it would loook so nice if he did a little bed head look to it with a little wax.. ugh.. I tell him alll the time and have even bought him a thing of wax, but nothing works.

My husband and I discussed this, and it's something I feel VERY strongly about.

For myself, I keep myself very fit, and I take care of my appearance. I do this for me, as I want to be content with my body and how I look. Also, I do this for my husband. He's a typical man, who is very visual. I want him to find me attractive. Additionally, I love the fact that he said if he met me now (not 18 years ago), it would still be love at first sight for him. I would still be his dream girl. I appreciate that, and I want to maintain that for him.

Likewise, I want him to do the same for me. Like him, I'm very visual. I find a fit body more arousing. Also, that fact that we're married, he's the only man I'm allowed to sleep with. If he's unwilling to stay fit for himself, I've asked him to do it for me, for the sake of our married sex life. Thankfully, my husband completely agree and understood my point of view. He's been staying fit. I'm been staying fit. We've been married for several years. We've been told we still look like newlyweds.

Oh. I have to go now. It's time for my evening jog.

These are good ideas for couples who spend a lot of time together, but what if you don't live together and only see each other a couple times a week?

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and he's put on 10-15 lbs. He's still very attractive, but the extra weight definitely isn't good. Still, I'd feel horrible saying anything about it. When I put on 10 lbs this summer (I've since lost the weight and I'm working hard to keep off), he never said a word about it. In fact, when I mentioned my weight gain to him, he told me very graciously that he hadn't noticed. After that, I can't bring myself to say anything about his weight, even though he's letting it pile up.

Is there anything else I can do?

I was just talking to my ex about this. Lol. We're still good friends and I hadn't seen him in like 7 months and he's gained a bit of weight on the tummy. I showed no mercy. Lol. I said look man, that is not cute and most importantly, that's not you. He was the one always working out and trying to stay fit, play football all the time. I know he's not my responsibility (he has a girlfriend), but as a friend, I could NOT let that slide. He has no problem telling me I need to gain weight so I have no issue telling him to lose some.
If it was my boyfriend, I'd first suggest let's work out together but if after a while he didn't get the hint, we'd have a serious chat. I'm not going to sit by and watch him slowly flush his health down the drain.

These are good ideas for couples who spend a lot of time together, but what if you don't live together and only see each other a couple times a week?

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and he's put on 10-15 lbs. He's still very attractive, but the extra weight definitely isn't good. Still, I'd feel horrible saying anything about it. When I put on 10 lbs this summer (I've since lost the weight and I'm working hard to keep off), he never said a word about it. In fact, when I mentioned my weight gain to him, he told me very graciously that he hadn't noticed. After that, I can't bring myself to say anything about his weight, even though he's letting it pile up.

Is there anything else I can do?

These are good ideas for couples who spend a lot of time together, but what if you don't live together and only see each other a couple times a week?

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and he's put on 10-15 lbs. He's still very attractive, but the extra weight definitely isn't good. Still, I'd feel horrible saying anything about it. When I put on 10 lbs this summer (I've since lost the weight and I'm working hard to keep off), he never said a word about it. In fact, when I mentioned my weight gain to him, he told me very graciously that he hadn't noticed. After that, I can't bring myself to say anything about his weight, even though he's letting it pile up.

Is there anything else I can do?

sorry about the multiple posts!

I honestly don't think it is that big of a deal unless it is greatly harming your relationship. Now, maybe I say that because I'm guilty of gaining about 15 pounds. My boyfriend assures me that he doesn't care and he loves me how I am. I think this should be true for anyone. I wouldn't dare mention it to my boyfriend if he gained 10 pounds. I've had enough weight issues all my life, and I don't think its right to point out that someone has gained weight unless it is so much that it affects their health extremely. 10 pounds is not that big of a deal, maybe if it was 50 I would say something.

I actually broke up with a guy because of this. I had mentioned it many times, and he still found no reason to take care of himself. I offered to exercise together since I'm trying to lose the last 10lbs of my 75-lb weight loss. He was even letting the hygiene dept slide. Which is a big ew factor for me. I felt like his mother, telling him to throw away his garbage, clean up after himself, brush his teeth, etc. So I just told him that "I'm not looking for a child to take care of, I'm looking for a man." and broke it off. I'm glad I did. :]

I know how that is and I am not looking for a child neither. I am looking for a man and that is what I intend to find. I would have broke up with him too.

Comfortability is great and all but not at the cost of living unhealthily and lazily. It's about having some self-respect and it goes both ways. I'm with GlowingMoon on this one. My husband and I do what we can to maintain our health and being physically fit is a nice side affect. Sure we get the occasional unshaven days when we sleep in on lazy Sundays but that is not a habit.

Well... my boyfriend is't really the same person as when we first met. He's not as into working out and is wearing more comfortable clothes now.

But for me, it isn't that big of a deal. Sure, i miss his abs and he's a lot skinnier now, not as big and masculine as he used to be...

Still, I love him, and that makes him attractive to me no matter what.

I'm still taking good care of myself and spend a lot of time working out and getting dressed, but that's for _me_, because I want to. I don't want to feel that i'm doing it for him in the same way i don't want him to feel that he has to work hard to look good for me.

As long as he isn't really unhealthy or let him self go completely i don't really care. I just want him to like himself, because if he does - I do.

i wouldn't feel comfortable at all telling a man that he'd gained weight. i'd HATE for a boyfriend to tell me that i'd gained weight & make me feel bad about it, so i'd probably never say anything to him if the roles were reversed. actually, i KNOW i'd never say anything because i had a boyfriend that gained somewhere near 50lbs when we were together & i never said a word. he already felt bad enough about it as it was.

the only thing i'd feel comfortable confronting a boyfriend about would be bad hygiene, like if they hadn't showered or brushed their teeth or something totally out of line like that, since that's easily fixable & reeeally gross.

Me and my boyfriend both have gym memberships and go rock climbing together so we stay fit together. It is me who has motivated him to join the gym though. He was healthy (perhaps healthier) before he met me but now he doesn't cycle to Uni anymore and has a desk job it's kind of slid. ;p We workout in the bedroom too of course~

I did break up with a guy for having disgusting hygiene habits. He was A MESS. A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MESS. I still remember the smell. I can't believe I ever let him share a bed with me. I'd have to remind him to shower, brush his teeth, eat properly... it was a living nightmare. SO glad I got rid of him!!

I think it's just natural to not have to try as hard...if a person looks good because of their lifestyle choices, they will continue unless they are with a person who makes them put those choices on a shelf for their habits that must be unhealthy or they'd continue to be healthy.
I find it hilarious that the pounds I lost after my divorce (going back to my choices) my ex-husband found since he got remarried and someone else's pounds too!!!

I use to date a man for 5 yrs. before I realized that I had one that slacked a little to much! Bathing, beer and hygiene was his main thing that wasn't to pleasing to me! I'm dating a man now that keeps his look to a tee but when we have some free time away from the kid's he just lets him self go! This only happens on occasions but to me if you do for the people out side of your home why can't I get the same! I feel for those that deal with a man that can't keep him self looking good b/c that brings down your sex drive when you have someone that smells/looks awful!!

My bf and I just had a discussion about this not too long ago. I just don't think it's fair that as a woman I should have to shave my legs, keep my bikini area neat, smell nice, and in general keep up appearances while he can roll into bed in an old, smelly, ratty t-shirt that he's been wearing for days - and I'm supposed to find him irresistible. It's not that he puts pressure on me to look nice, but I like to put the effort in to remain attractive to him and it's clear he was putting in zero effort in return. But since we've talked, it's been like night and day - and I think I've made it clear that when he does take the time, I find him VERY attractive.

My husband is in the military so I don't have to worry about him letting himself go for at least the next five years.

well - not to a HUGE extent, but yes, my fiance has started to let himself go a little bit. when i met him, he wasn't super fit but he had a decent body and now that we've been together for a while, i feel like he's kind of letting himself go and putting on a few pounds. i know that for myself i need to look good so i'm conscious of what i eat and i go to the gym a lot and he doesn't seem to have that motivation at all..and doesn't care. i don't want to put it out there that i'm not as attracted to him because he's not taking care of himself, but it's kind of how i feel. i don't care that he's got a few extra pounds, but i think that it's more to the point that he doesn't care either.