Both males and females are under the mistaken impression that simple intercourse (again, where there is no stimulation to the clitoris) is sufficient to produce an orgasm for the woman. This belief is widespread even among women who are able to achieve orgasm through masturbation.
And why are teens having sex in this movie anyway? I know they do...but to glorify it? Married women who can't stand their husbands can't have an orgasm.

Why high school?

It's said here by you like it's part of the high school curriculum. Is college or anything after considered old, too?

PeachyKeen19 - I definitely don't mean to imply that discovering your sexuality only takes place or begins in high school. I think most people are working on it off and on their whole lives. I just wanted to point out that it's not something that always comes naturally like most high school movies imply; it takes varying amounts of time for different people.

I learned to orgasm by myself long before I tried anything with the opposite sex. It's easy for me to come with a partner -- but I think this is only because of how well I know myself.

Mesayme, I find the idea that women CAN'T orgasm for intercourse is getting too widespread. SOME OF US CAN and we don't feel guilty about it either

Lastly, I haven't seen this movie, so I don't know how it presents teen sex, but honestly, doesn't anyone look back on their early encounters and remember how FUN it was? Teen sex is OK by me, it was a good time. So awkward and new -- no reason to hate on that.

yeah. I agree with hithatsmybike. i took care of myself orgasm wise long before my partners ever could. i've been sexually active for a little over 3 years now, and only around 6 months ago did I finally get a partner that was able to make me orgasm [sorry hithatsmybike. not through intercourse for me.]

i learned to orgasm by myself when i was 10.

it takes different people different lengths of time to get to that point with their partners. some, ive never had orgasms with and others i'd have one every single time. my head is usually insanely cluttered!! ggrrrr

I'm with PeachyKeen. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I don't remember anyone I went to high school with talking about whether or not they were having orgasms. And I don't recall ever having seen a teen movie that addressed a teen's ability to have one, or made it seem like it was easy. And I don't really think a teen movie should be applauded for dealing with this kind of "imperfection and insecurity." Maybe there would be fewer teenage pregnancies and young, single moms struggling to make ends meet if teenagers were more concerned about their futures than they are about their ability or inability to achieve orgasm. I honestly wonder if this is the kind of movie DearSugar would take a teenage girl to see to help that girl feel better about her own imperfections and insecurities . . .

I've had an orgasm, but not with a partner (because I've never done anything sexual with someone else...by choice). I was surprised that this movie treated "never having an orgasm" as some sort of a diss. Ummm...I don't think its uncommon that someone between the ages of 16-18 has never had one. Most people that age are either a virgin (as most of my friends were at that age, and most of them don't masturbate to my knowledge), or inexperienced at sex because it's awkward and new, etc. Notice I didn't say ALL teens are like that, but MOST. And then in the film, she orgasms after like 5 seconds of f*ngering. It's just doesn't seem that realistic, but then again it's a movie.

hithatsmybike - i don't think Mesayme was knocking people who can orgasm easily, she just said a lot of teens think it's easier than it looks.

jennifur106- woah 10 years old? You must be an expert That's not meant as a dig.

I thought this movie was about two teens randomly driving around New York one night? I've personally never told strange men I met that night about my lack of or abundance of orgasms...Also, since when are women ashamed of not being able to orgasm? Isn't that something that's more humiliating to the men she's been with? Especially in this situation if she's able to have one within a few seconds of fingering, according to californiagirlx7, since I didn't watch the movie.

This movie seems lame, especially with this kind of pathetic message.

Maybe it was just different generations but I personally talked about it in highschool almost a decade back. And I saw in our browsing history that my little half sister, who is still in middle school, was looking up masturbation on urban dictionary! Times are a'changing and while we may not agree or understand, it's happening regardless. Not ALL high schoolers are like this and the move isn't implying that, so don't look into things too closely like some people are with this post.

My boyfriend of 5 years was able to make me come through oral almost instantaneously. He has only gotten better over the years too! But I can't orgasm through intercourse unless I have clitoral stimulation.

Also, I abstained from sex in high school but the normal fooling around never got me off. The few partners I had before my current b/f were never able to get me off either. Movies and TV really do make it look easier than it actually is.

"Mesayme, I find the idea that women CAN'T orgasm for intercourse is getting too widespread. SOME OF US CAN and we don't feel guilty about it either "

Hithatsmybike...The info came directly from my anatomy book, not my experience...I didn't have sex as a teen. I don't know why you feel the need to address me directly as if I said you should be ashamed. I don't care either way.

I see the need to translate...an orgasm by definition is an involuntary action similar to a reflex like a knee jerk when struck...it's not voluntary like forcing a burp. If it's going to be discussed it should at least be made clear what it is. No one should be either ashamed nor congratulated for an involuntary reaction to what only occurs when the conditions are appropriate.
The quote stated that just penetration doesn't do the trick without clitoral stimulation..I tried to keep it clean that's all.

I have a teenage daughter who's gone through a couple sex ed classes and not once did they mention female orgasms. Of course I taught her the biological aspect of it. This issue is way more complicated than ... I fingered myself and I came. Talk to women going through hormonal changes or abusive situations or exhausted mothers raising young children and you'll get a better idea of how widespread the problem is...

ok, I'm not all worldy and such but I've gotten this far with a few guys and it's never happened with them.

I do just fine on my own but maybe it's the lack of experience (ie. I'm more of "omigod this is so cool" rather than loosing myself in the moment).

Unfortunately it always became an issue with the guy! Like he was doing something wrong and no matter what I said he thought it was this horrible thing and he wasn't good enough blah blah blah. I'm pretty much at the point where I'm ready to give disclaimers... "you the undersigned agree that it is possible for me to enjoy myself without screaming the roof off and will have patience cause it will happen at some point"

I have been orgasming since I was a toddler...which is actually very common behavior. With a partner, I definitely need some clitoral stimulation, but since I know myself so well, I can coach a guy through it without much difficulty.

I know this is a touchy subject and everyone has a different opinion, but I have to say I find it refreshing that it was discussed in the movie. The world is changing, but I think the biggest change is how open people are with each other. Younger people aren't embarassed to discuss sexuality, and being curious is what leads these discussions. For anyone really concerned about children learning something they shouldn't, consider this... if you don't talk to your kids, someone else will.

My mom was very open with me and I have never found a subject I can't talk to her about, including sexual preferences and even toys. She's the first person I go to with a problem and even if she disagrees with my decisions, she has always helped me find an answer. I know friends who aren't able to talk to their parents the way my brothers and I do, and they have made serious mistakes because of it.

Just food for thought!

Toddler How on earth can you even remember? danz... My memory starts at around 7or8! LOL
Yeah, I'm THAT mom...my daughter's friends rather ask me then their mothers, but I don't step on other mother's turf so I tell my daughter and she tells them. I don't want some horny guy filling her head with crap or some girl who's own mother is promiscuous telling her ignorant info.

i masturbated and had orgasms at a VERY young age. i first had sex at 17, twice in one night. the second time, i orgasmed at the same time as my boyfriend. these are not myths. i was in love and i am still with the same person. that was five years ago! teen sexualty is oh so natural, but the big importance is being educated and smart about sex. i have never been promiscuous, but i have always been very sexual and i sought education from reputable sources...not my friends.

as far as nick and norah's infinite playlist...they didn't have intercourse. he gave her a hand job. and yes, if it is done in a way that gets her off...guess what? she's gonna get off!

i agree with hithatsmybike. it was so much fun! that movie reminded me of the range of emotions and anxiousness and excitement i experienced in the early days of my relationship and sexuality. it was very nostalgic, and i loved it.

oh yeah - ladies, fyi a man is not giving you an orgasm during intercourse. you do it yourself! he's just there to help! sex is a beautiful and emotional thing for me, but an orgasm is something i know how to achieve and that's what i do. he is great, and once in a while i don't have to do anything at all to get off. but that's not the majority! what do you think he's doing? getting himself off AS WELL as trying to do the same for you. participate! get on top! do something!

i'm not saying you girls weren't trying. some people just aren't compatible in bed. what works for you might not for him and vice-versa. i must tell you though, once you find some one that is compatible...it's like magic and it never feels awkward or strained or dull!

I have had orgasms since I was 14. First one was with a girl cousin who spent the weekend. She was 15. Not sure whose idea it was but it was fun.

I have lots since then masturbating usually while thinking about some real trashy stuff...

and have been sexually active with my partner for about a year now - and have never had an orgasm.....

oh well

Orgasms for females in hs is almost unheard of. While in hs, most girls are so into pleasing their "hero" that they forget about themselves.

I was a bit of a late bloomer exploring myself sexually so of course when it came to partners, I was one of those who could NOT orgasm through intercourse. A few boyfriends could make me orgasm by touching me or through oral, but it was nearly impossible through sex. I say "nearly" because for some miraculous reason, I can do it through intercourse now, with my current boyfriend. Verrrrry mysterious.

im 17 years old and im sexually active for about the past six months..i was a virgin. we literally do it once a month cuz we've only done it six times. I've never orgasmed during sex tho it bothers me. he has a few times but for me itz like its all nice n dandy leading up to it i mean i get reallllyy turned on and then when we start something goes wrong. it hurts a little going in but then it feels normal..not pleasurable it jus feels like he's moving in me. thats it. i feel bad so i usually fake bein turned on after that point and let him continue but i dont understand what's hindering me. he knows ive never orgasmed. i orgasm through masturabation all the time geez! i do love him and trust him so watz going wrong? does this usually happen? or am i strange?

zathura, im exactly the same! i recently lost my virginity and weve had sex a few times, and before i get so turned on, and when we have it, its not anything. you said ". it hurts a little going in but then it feels normal..not pleasurable it jus feels like he's moving in me. thats it" and thats how it is for me. i plan to keep working on it and trying new things, cuz i really want to orgasm!