i would almost say all of the above but i don't agree the man should pay for everything! my bf pays for more stuff and most dinners but i treat him pretty regularly

Agreed skigurl..almost all of the above except paying for everything..he treats me well but I treat him pretty nicely as well!

ooo and can they add taking out the trash to this list

I agree with all of the above too minus the having to pay for everything. It's still nice when you have a man that is willing to pay for things because being with a guy with no money is no fun. I can't stand when I am the one paying for EVERYTHING. He doesn't have to pay for everything all the time just have the ability to treat me sometimes.

I agree with it all

My man pays for EVERYTHING for me...even my most of my rent now...he wants me to save my money for some thign special

How is making the first move chivalrous?

I don't expect any of these things, b/c I can take care of myself.

hmm Im re-reading this... I dont know about making the first move..as in initiating the first time or everytime? bcus sometimes I just jump on him first

I love when my guy makes the first move. I also make the first move on my own but it feels so great to have him do it. That's just me!

I dont EXPECT anything from my man. He does these types of things because he cares about me, not because he's trying to be chilvalrous. I can take care of myself but at the same time, he just wants to help.

I definitely do not agree about a man paying for everything. I think that makes women dependent and frankly, I want my man and I to be seen as equals... not me as the lowly little house wife and him as the big bad money making machine. Know what I mean?

I dont expect him to do any of these things. If he does, great...but its definatly not expected of him.

i'm with Fallen and javs. i don't need any of this. i wouldn't know what to do if my boyfriend started paying for everything. in fact i would probably hate it. i felt odd enough accepting the mp3 player he bought for me for valentine's day esp. because i was saving up for one on my own. i have the things i have because i earned them and i like it that way.

honestly i prefer to be the one giving him random gifts, treating him to something because it's me sharing the fruits of my hard work with him. i'm the traditional guy in my relationship and i like it that way. my guy isn't a girlie man by any means either but he appreciates that i don't need him to take care of me.

I said holding doors open, but I agree with Fallen. I expect people in general to hold doors open if it's convenient. I think it's beyond rude to see someone behind you or approaching the door to let it shut in their face...

I actually really don't care about any of these. The only "chivalrous" thing I need my fiance to do is carry the groceries

I also expect him to;

Pull out my chair
Stand up when a woman enters the room
Give up his seat to a woman if needed.

I like when guys hold the door open, and offer their seat on the train if it's standing room only. I rarely take the seat, but it's nice.

Whenever I'm out with my dad, he walks on the outside of the street, so it's something I've come to appreciate.

I don't believe a guy should have to always pay.

Not much really...Just pay for everything including my bills. Take out the trash. Wash the cars. Cut the grass. Fix everything. Kill every bug or vermin. Clean the toilets. Lift all the heavy stuff. Initiate all sex and never say no when I remind him. Hold doors, deal with all rude people in public. Issue all punishments to the kids, and sit through the sports practices and drama performances. Drive everywhere we go. Run to the store for my cravings no matter what time of night. Wash my back when I bathe. Let me always have the last word and tuck me in at night and jump in front of bullets headed my or the kids way.
That's about it.

I appreciate it when my husband opens the door, but I think the walking on the outside of the street thing is a little much. Also it would make me feel really weird if a man paid for everything. I can see the first 2 or 3 dates, but then I would want to split things up.

Oh and to clarify, I'm talking about him opening a door at a restuarant or something, not opening a car door. I would feel funny about him walking me to my side of the car and opening the door!

Yeah...I used to be like that...no, I got it. No more. Nice girls never prosper. b*tches rule! (Or haven't you noticed?) Once was blind but now I see...so I shall now put forth the b*tch in me!

I agree with opening doors & especially walking on the outside of the street.

it's nice when my guy does this, but it's far from expected.
it's also nice to get my own door and buy my own food. i'm a woman, that doesn't mean i'm helpless.

There really should be an option for "I don't expect any of these."

The whole notion of chivalry came from the idea that women were weak and needed to be protected. I expect politeness and consideration from everyone in my life, but anything that comes from a code of conduct that considers me weak ... no thanks.

If you get to the door first and you can hold it for me, great. But I expect you to do that for the gross old man behind me, too; and I expect you to NOT look at me funny when I hold the door for you.

I don't expect any of those things speacially done just because I'm a girl. I expect guys to open the doors for other males too...

Walk on the outside on the street... Hah hah. I was walking yesterday with my friend from the class back to our dorms. The street didn't have a pavement and cars were driving by. He actually moved to other side of me so I had to walk on the outside. He had never even heard of that kind of rule!

We are pretty equal in Finland..

That guy is not a jerk by the way! He actually has rather good manners compared to other blokes on our year.

definitely open doors.

As a guy, I do all of these things except for "pay for everything". I do pay when we got out to a movie, or dinner, really any "special" event. I also feel good when I do it, which is definitely a plus.

yes, definitely open doors.. or holding them.. and being polite!

i should have been more clear on the door thing.. i don't need the car door opened by anyone else.. just if we were going into a resturant or the movies

mesayme you dont need a husband, you need a slave. Dont you believe in equality and doing things for yourself?? If my boyfriend waited on me hand and foot I would lose respect for him and for myself. Remeber, slavery was abolished.

I don't really "expect" any of those things. The thing he does that I love most along these lines is to pump the gas, I HATE to pump gas, maybe it's dumb but I just don't like it.

"The whole notion of chivalry came from the idea that women were weak and needed to be protected. I expect politeness and consideration from everyone in my life, but anything that comes from a code of conduct that considers me weak ... no thanks"

Chivalry didn’t come about because people thought women were weak!! It was the expected ideal of what qualities men should have which included courage, honor, loyalty and consideration for others, especially women. A man isn’t pulling a chair out for a woman, because he thinks she can’t do it herself! That’s feministic BS

I dont expect anything, but my beau loves me, and does all of this and more:

makes me cups of tea when its cold out
makes the bed
pays for everything
opens every door
lets me walk through a door first if its open - even at home
takes me shopping
walks on the outside on the street
takes care of the bills
cooks when im tired
does the cleaning (if I dont get to it first - i enjoy it)

But I know im lucky, and he is mighty appreciated, and is aware of the fact. It should always be give and take - even if its not the same thing i.e if he buys me something I will make sure he is taken care of in the bedroom, gets back massages, doesnt have to cook for a while etc.

And when things are bad on his end, I will pay for everything in return and have done in the past.

Oh and he kills spiders and takes the bins out LOL which I really cant stand either of those jobs!

Fallen85: "mesayme you dont need a husband, you need a slave. Dont you believe in equality and doing things for yourself?? If my boyfriend waited on me hand and foot I would lose respect for him and for myself. Remeber, slavery was abolished."

For your information (not that it's due)...I divorced a husband who did all of that and didn't complain. I do believe in it(equality)...but it doesn't interest me. And I, as a single woman and mother do all of these things now anyway so if I decide to share my life...that man, has to be capable of doing everything that I do to include 'ALL OF THAT SLAVE WORK'. And if I forget that slavery is abolished all I have to do is ask my black grandmother

Opening doors is just common courtesy, my boyfriend usually gets to it first and holds it for me and anyone who might be behind me. I don't know what the walking on the outside of the street is all about though. My boyfriend and I try to split who pays for things because we both have good jobs and there's no need for him to always pay for me, though he pays for me more often than I pay for him I think (it's been a while since we've been out, I can't even remember lol). When I first started dating my boyfriends this girl friend of ours used to call him "ChivalRick". haha

Caterpillar A+...you got it!!
'Don't do it for me because I can't; do it because I chose not to.' Yeah...someone who understands chivalry and the measure of a real man. Women got the message of feminism all screwed up and men turned in to piss puddles instead of covering mud puddles. If men don't have expectations or are held accountable then what the hell are they good for?...making, but not having nor nursing babies?
Any man in my life better not let me do everything...I've proven that I can do it all without him...he'll be one of your ('he doesn't have to do anything for me'ladies) problems and not mine! Good luck with that.

CaterpillarGirl: "It was the expected ideal of what qualities men should have which included courage, honor, loyalty and consideration for others, especially women."

Especially women. Do you not see the sexism in that? Why would women be more deserving of protection than men? Oh, because they need it, because they can't protect themselves. Right.

I am all for courage, honor, loyalty, consideration, etc., but I am not going to expect a man to treat me differently than he would treat other men. Equal-opportunity consideration, please.

Call me a wuss but I like to be taken care of and protected by my man. I know I am capable of doing it on my own but it's wonderful to have someone that you can truly trust to always be there for you with your best interest in mind. I def like my man to be a very traditional "manly man" doing all the stereotypical man things. Doesn't mean I can't do them for myself, just means I have someone who cares about me enough to do them for me.

Knight in shining armor... I'm history major and our teacher mentioned that women were usually put walking first in castle-corridors for a fear of enemies.

Hiding55...I'll stand in the Wuss line with you. I do it all now and I'm tired as hell.

Leene...that's probably because you're not supposed to hit girls!!

I totally agree with you Mesayme, in a relationship it cannot be one sided. Sharing responsibility and housework is good for everyone involved, especially if there are kids and they see dad (stepdad) helping mom around the house, then hopefully they will get the message and also help around the house, making moms life a little easier. Being in a relationship and having a family is a collective effort. I don't believe in the woman doing everything because she CAN and she doesn't NEED the mans help (trying to prove some kind of modern feminist point). It still comes down to one thing...the woman is STILL doing EVERYTHING, which is certainly a step sideways and not the step forward that early feminists tried so hard for.

"Knight in shining armor... I'm history major and our teacher mentioned that women were usually put walking first in castle-corridors for a fear of enemies."

I'm sorry but I don't think I understand the last part. For fear of enemies? Like to keep them away from enemies. Sorry, I'm slightly confused.

Man I wish I was a history major, that was what I wanted to be my major for so long!

"Especially women. Do you not see the sexism in that? Why would women be more deserving of protection than men? Oh, because they need it, because they can't protect themselves. Right.

I am all for courage, honor, loyalty, consideration, etc., but I am not going to expect a man to treat me differently than he would treat other men. Equal-opportunity consideration, please"

No there is no sexism in that, explain why you think there is? Its not about protection, its about courtesy and being a gentlemen. I expect my husband to treat me differently than other men in certain situations, whats wrong with that? Do you think that because my husband opens doors for me, or takes my hand as i exit a car, or stands up when i enter a room, or puts his arm around me in the elevator that he thinks less of me? Au Contrare to me it means he puts me above anyone or anything else in his life! I would be mighty frightened if he opened the door for his guy friend and not me. It has NOTHING TO TO WITH EQUALITY.

If i have a son, i plan on teaching him the meaning of chivalry and i GUARANTEE that any woman who is lucky enough to marry him will thank me, and not berate me for being anti-womens rights.

mesayme: "pay for everything including my bills... Clean the toilets... Initiate all sex... Issue all punishments to the kids... Drive everywhere we go. Run to the store for my cravings no matter what time of night. Wash my back when I bathe. Let me always have the last word and tuck me in at night and jump in front of bullets headed my or the kids way."

Okay, I'm confused. You want a man who will do all of this for you yet you talk about equality? Please clarify your opinion for me... do you or do you not require any man you are in a relationship with to wait on you hand and foot? I understand that sometimes women joke about wanting a man to do all the work etc but here in the real world.. what do you expect from your man?

None of the above really. I picked walking on the outside of the street because my hubby always does that for me. All of these things seem really patronizing to me. I don't mind opening the door for myself or if you go in and then I walk in behind you. I get kinda annoyed when guys open doors for me. I would never expect my man to pay for everything (though he does because I'm unemployed) or make the first move sexually (I'd never get any)

List of things that are a yes:

-Opening doors
-intiating stuff first
-Walking you to your car
-Calling when they say they will call
-Calling or txting you to let you know they will be late
-Making sure you got home ok if you drive home from --their place late at night
-Making you breakfast the morning after when you have --made dinner the night before
-Doing the dishes and cleaning if you cook

Making them pay for everything..no way. Seriously I make money too why does he have to pay for everything..doesn't seem fair. I don't pay for everything but if he has paid for dinner like 10 times in a row...I feel bad for having him pay again....just a personal thing.

CG: "If i have a son, i plan on teaching him the meaning of chivalry and i GUARANTEE that any woman who is lucky enough to marry him will thank me, and not berate me for being anti-womens rights."

I have certainly not berated you, if that's what you're implying. I said that I do not expect a man to treat me differently than he would treat a man. If you take that as a personal attack, well, I can't do anything about that.

"Okay, I'm confused. You want a man who will do all of this for you yet you talk about equality?'

I didn't say anything about anything being equal. That is an abstract concept. When I had my three children and my now ex husband was holding the swaddled children while they stitched me up...that wasn't equal, nor was my nine months of discomfort to his five minutes of pleasure. It's not equal when we gained the same amount of weigh and he lost his faster than I did although we ate the same food I cooked and went on the same walks.

You said boyfriend correct? I'm left to assume that you haven't been married or not at least up to five years or more...unlike my previous ten...when you are a wife, let me know so I can welcome you to a 'real world'.
To further ease your confusion ...though I have no idea why unless you are my matchmaker...I will restate that any man I spend my time with will have to carry AS MUCH weight as I can. Which is obviously all of it. Or else, I'm doing just fine by myself. I listed the stuff I don't want to do... those are my preferences...

And BTW...the question didn't include what we are willing to DO for that same man. If it had, I would assure you that I expect a lot because I am a lot. I expect from a man what I give. If you aren't worth a damn...then maybe your expectations should be low. Mine aren't. It's just that simple.

See I think there is some confusion here. There is nothing with a guy doing nice things for his woman. Nothing wrong with paying for dinner and opening doors and killing spiders.... the thing that bugs me is that some of you women EXPECT them to do this. Big difference between a guy doing it because he wants to and a guy doing it because she EXPECTS him to.

All of you ladies must admit that if you date a guy for years who pays for everything because you expected him to and then one day he realizes you're using and abusing his kindness and dumps your ass you will be at a complete loss for how to provide for yourself! Going years without paying a dime on bills will teach you VERY bad money management skills and will probably send you into the arms of any other guy willing to take care of you. As I said, it creats utter dependence and THAT, ladies, no one can respect.