My mother changed her middle name to her birth last name, and then took her husbands last name..which I think is a great idea.

My best friend got married a year ago. Originally she was keeping her name, but everyone always called her by her husband's last name, and she said it just got annoying correcting everyone. Now she's hyphenated her name but vows to just let the kids take the husbands name (much easier on kids, as I was growing up, I felt bad for the hyphenated kids...it just complicates thing)

Of course, if you have a PhD, have authored books, or are very well known in your field prior to marriage, it is obviously less confusing to just keep your name at that point.

Yes, but that's mostly because I hate my last name.

I love my last name so I'm keeping it!

me too geenbean! My last name is awesome. Everyone always says I have a cute name

i'd do that, change my middle name to my last name lol though i guess it's not common? but i probably won't because my last name is mine but when i get married i'd take my fiance's

I did change my last name, it was a relief, too! My maiden name was 11 letters long and now it's only 6. Whew!

I hate my last name because its so short and common, but my boyfriend's (we're planning on getting engaged soon) is even shorter and more common! I guess whether or not I'll change it depends where I am in my career at that point. My boyfriend says that he doesn't care if I keep my last name, he just doesn't want me to hyphenate.

i've sometimes found that the women who change their last name do it without really feeling strongly either way about it, but women who keep their names are vehemently against taking their husbands' names and think every woman in the world should do the same. i'll take his name, when the time comes. it's just "what you do" and it's cute and traditional.

A gentle rain.... it's fun to have a last name that just works...dontcha think? Katie225...I think it's a sweet sentiment and I have nothing against tradition or feel vehemently about it. I'm all for whatever a person feels works for her...

I changed mine, but I really wanted to hyphenate it. My hubby is really tradition and was fairly insulted when I recommended the idea.

I have such mixed feelings about this! I know that a name is just a name... but my middle name and last name are so freaking weird that I almost hate to lose them! I had my mom's maiden name as my middle name, and it was not a normal middle name. Everyone else grew up with like Anne or Marie or something sweet, and I grew up with people confusing me for a professional rent-a-cop company. *Sigh* But now it's like a badge of honor, having made it to adulthood with such a funny name. It feels so much like *me* that I hate to part with it.

I agree though Katie - it does seem like people generally feel much more strongly about keeping their own name vs. taking their husband's... I wonder if it's just a reflex of doing something unconventional.

traditional

i hyphanated my name

I'm not engaged...I don't even have a boyfriend but I know that when I do get married I will no doubt change my name to his!

I changed my name but had a much harder time with it than I thought I would...I know quite a few people who use their maiden name as their middle name now, but I liked my middle name too much to give it up. It did take me over a year to change my e-mail address to have my married name rather than my maiden name. Luckily my hubby was super understanding and realized that I just needed to hold on to my "old identity" for a little while, but I think he was a little happy when I finally changed it over -- even though he would never tell me that!

I've been dying to get rid of my middle name, so I'll hyphenate without the hyphen. Example: Jane Delilah Smith + John Doe = Jane Smith Doe. Plus, my dad has no sons, so I'd like to keep his last name in the family.

Yes, people will have to call me by all three names and yes, my kids will have two last names.

-the ceeg

Ill be keeping my last name! There is only myself and my sister with the last name, no brothers or male cousins, so if we change our last name the family name will be gone. It's important for me to keep my own last name because of this and I know it would mean a lot to my dad. Plus it's not very common, and it just wouldn't feel right to change my name after all these years.

ash_marisa great idea

If I ever got married again, i would not take his name but would want the kids too. More because I would rather my Mom's Maiden name than my own.

When I got married, I retained my name and added my hubby's.

When I got married I changed ALL of my names! My first name was Krista and my middle name Lynn, so I just smushed them together and now my first name is legally Kristalynn. I moved my maiden name to my middle name because I don't have any brothers and my dad didn't have any brothers either, so we are the last of the family with that name. And then, I took my husband's last name. I never would have hyphenated - seems to over the top for me - plus it would have been a lot of letters...

I changed my name but I also legally changed my middle name to my maiden name. That way I still feel like I'm me.

When i get to that point in my life i will have to say unless i change my mind, I will most def take his last name.

to all the ladies that mentioned that you have no men in the family to carry on your last name -- i am in the same position. no brothers, males cousins, etc will take the name to the next gen....so for as long as i have been old enough to think about it, i have felt that i would disappoint the fam to change my name...but it is traditional and i have one of those last names that you get picked on for (don't worry i can take it) and my boyfriend's last name is so short and sweet and normal...i'm at a loss, i just don't know what i would do. i guess i'll probably take his name when we get married.

simplybe, I'm the same way. My mom's maiden name (which is my middle name) is dying with my generation. My last name is dying with this generation too! On the other hand, my boyfriend has only male cousins, and they have tons of kids, carrying on a very common (did I say boring?) last name. I asked my boyfriend once if we could give all our kids different last names for the sake of carrying them on. I don't recall him liking the idea.

I really dont like my last name, it starts with a Z and its impossible to pronounce.

But I also identify with it so much that Im going to be sad to let it go. I think I'll legally change my name, but still use my maiden name for some things, or use both in normal life.

nope, not changing my name! My mom didn't change her name when she married my dad, but I have his last name. When I was little we lived in a really conservative Southern city & people were always giving my mom sh*t & asking me if my parents were married. but thats just b/c they could not concieve of a woman not changing her name! I'm an only child & I really like my name & don't see any reason to change it. My ex used to freak out when I said I wasn't changing my name. He called me selfish, but hey, I'm not marrying him!

Mine is hyphenated also.........

I'm definitely changing mine. I have a very common last name(name of a coffee company) and it just seems boring, plus I have a very unique middle name(my grannies maiden name) so taking my fiances last name will give me what I think is a unique, classy sounding name...I know alot of ppl who hyphenated their names but I have a long first name and both mine and my fiances last names are over 6 letters...I think i'd get hand cramps trying to sign it every day at work

Both my husband and I hyphenated our last names. For example my last name is Smith and his last name is Doe and so now we are John Smith-Doe and Jane Smith-Doe. I wasn't comfortable giving up my last name, and didn't think it was fair that I should be the only one to do it! I did feel there was value in having the same last name, but I was not willing to completely subsume all of my identity by taking his. We were both going through this rite of passage together, so it kind of made sense that we both changed our names too. He comes from a traditional family and was hesitant to the idea at first, but eventually came around and is proud to tell people that we both made the change. (BTW, most people assume I took his name anyway. He is better at correcting them than I am!) In so far that names are symbolic, we thought it was kind of a neat way to show that the two of us are a family, and that we are still a part of both of our families.

i kept my last name. i like it and i see no reason to take his. i'll probably hypenate my kids names or give them two middle names, they have two parents afterall.

I really like my last name, always have- and I like the people it comes from. It would take something big for me to change it.

"Well, f*** me gently with a chainsaw."

My husband and I used to work for the same company (I still do) so after we got married, he e-mailed a friend of his in IT to make sure they changed my last name on my e-mail & user names...I thought that was cute! I think it's up to the person but I am very happy that I changed my name.

No. I have never understood why in American marriages the female has to change her identity. I've always been Party Sugar- why do I have to become someone else?

ergosum- that is a great idea!
b-gal- Heathers is SUCH A GREAT MOVIE!!!

Does it really matter? I think we over complicate this issue, I personally don't think my last name makes me, me. I am who I am by what I do, not what others call me. If you took every name that people called you by or knew you by as your identity, wow.... I just hope you can see where I'm going with this, I say pick the name that sounds the best, if your last name is shcnuzlebacker and his is garrison, or your last name is londen and his is humperdink, your call...

I already took My Husband last Name-I love It!

I love my last name; my direct family members (grandparents, uncles, first-cousins etc) are also the only people on the planet to bare the name. But, I'm at a dilemma because I will be an attorney in a few yrs and my finacee's last name might be more appealing. I can go either way bc I'm not established in my profesion yet. Names count when it comes to employment, it's a sociological fact.

I am hyphenating bc my fiance gets insulted that I really want no part of his last name. It's a good last name, but I'm asian and his last name is Italian. I feel I would be misrepresenting myself with an Italian last name. So hyphenation it is. I do think hyphenated women automatically come with this "Type A, ball-busting, ambitious and neurotic woman" label though.

ergosum, i think yours is the best solution! my fiance is dead set against changing his last name?? that made ME fairly insulted. What, I can change my identity, the name I've had for the past 27 years and you cannot? Such a double standard.

I am keeping my last name officially, but I wouldnt correct anyone if they referred to me as Mrs. X. (x being a variable here, of course). My children would be our names hyphenated.

be persistent nyc! my husband was totally against it at first too, and got really defensive, worried that people would see him as less of a man for it or something. and i admit I was pretty dead set against changing my name at all--i'm a professional in a career where changing my name could be problematic, not to mention I have a HUGE problem with the double standard, so it was pretty much this or nothing! eventually he came around to it though, for the reasons listed above (showing that we are a family, and are connected with both my family and his, no kids yet but they'll take both names). now he's proud to be an innovator! and you can remind your fiance that most people will still assume that you took his last name). it was a good compromise for us.

i've been married for 10 years. not fond of my husband's last name (yawn!) and VERY proud of my father's accomplishments.

the ONE THING i regret in my 10 years of marriage is taking my husband's name! i took it because my husband was *so* upset and put out and insulted (God forbid!) that i wanted to keep my OWN name! if you're ambivalent or not wanting to take his name now ... DO NOT DO IT. ten/fifteen/twenty years down the road, you'll be kicking yourself like i am now.

although i am no longer legally bound to my maiden name, i actually use it! if i was lola bella smith by birth and married jon doe, i am now legally lola bella doe, but all of my correspondence reads "lola smith doe." some people think the 'smith'/maiden is a middle name (it's actually a male British name), but overall, i don't care. all my resumes say 'lola smith doe' and my work emails come out 'doe, lola smith.' i love it. i get to represent my daddy in MY good work and be proud of my roots at the same time!

Why can't the guy take the woman's name?

To each their own when it comes to deciding what name to take when they get married.

While I appreciate that most people see it as a tradition they'd like to keep going, I could never, ever take my husband's last name.

I like my name as it is. I think it should be tradition to keep your own name.

I just got married, and yes I took mu hubby's last name.

i chose yes..but i dont feel like its a rite of passage..
i have a really hard last name that no1 can pronounce..so i really cant wait to change it! unless my future husbands last name is eveb harder than mine..then im deff not changing it

That sounds like somethign I want to do krisua

I'm not getting married any time soon ,but when i do i'll chance my last name just because i hate my last name.

i will keep my old name

I have a long while before I have to decide, but I remain torn. I LOVE my last name, and like it more than my boyfriend's. But hyphenating would sound odd because both our last names are very ethnic and it doesn't really flow well.