Dear Sugar,

My old boyfriend from five years ago and I began speaking again a year ago, after both of us got out of really unhealthy relationships. At the time he was living across the country, but we developed a relationship and he decided to move back. At first our relationship was a dream. He was considerate, caring, sensitive, and treated me very well. Soon after he moved back, he also started working long hours while attending school, and our relationship became strained. He's always had a bad temper, but I began seeing more of it. We would rarely have sex, and he would often seem distant. Although he was apologetic when it was brought up, he would never really change his behavior.

Last week, after one particularly bad weekend, I felt I had no other choice but to end the relationship. The next day we talked and both agreed that it just wasn't working. He apologized sincerely for the way he had been treating me and described just how tired and stressed he's been. The night we had this talk was honestly one of the most special nights we have ever had, even though we were ending things. We made love and it was better then it had ever been before. He's called me every day since and it seems like he's turned back into the guy I used to know.

I only broke up because I felt I had no choice due to the way I was being treated, but now that things are so good, I want to get back together. Are we building our relationship again? And if so, should I demand to know where he stands? Or is that jumping the gun?

— Together or Not Taylor

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Dear Together or Not Taylor,

It seems to me that your relationship feels so great right now because it's not in a relationship at all. I'd guess that a lot of the stress your boyfriend was dealing with was stemming from the pressures of your relationship, and now that you've broken up, a weight has been lifted, and your boyfriend is able to be himself.

Of course, it's normal that outside stress puts strain on a relationship, but in your boyfriend's case, his behavior sounds over the top. You need to talk to him and find out what he's thinking before you find yourself counting on a relationship that he's not able to give you. And before you two head down the road of reconciliation, I highly recommend you figure out how to successfully work through the difficult times. A bad temper that flairs every time life gets tough is a debilitating issue for any relationship, and it's something your boyfriend is going to have to want to change. Definitely open up communication sooner rather than later so you can either start moving on or work together to move forward.

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