a card is always nice and so are bath balls, oils and candles. don't feel obligated to spend tons of money if you don't have it. cheap gifts with a hearfelt card are always great. a real friend will understand you can't buy her a designer baby onesie or whatever.

Hey! Blue jeanie, that is true, I think the problem here also is that they invite the whole office to each of these showers, regardless of how well everyone even knows each other! But I think a nice card does suffice, it is the thought that counts right?

I agree, it is the thought that counts. Just be careful with how you deal with the situation, you don't want to step on any toes before your own shower!

How much do you ahve to contribute? If you can do $5, just bring your lunch one day and instead donate the money to the shower fund? I don't know, I also feel like i am always being invited to some shower or party or something tha requires me to gift out money, and i jsut don't have it. And what drives me crazy is that I ahven't had one of these showers yet for myself, i will though, and they all better come and bring presents!
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Why don't you wear the face you have when I am not around?

I think it's kind of rude of your co-worker to stipulate either money or a gift card for this particular shower. I would ask around and see how little you can get away with contributing for the gift. As for the other showers, a small gift and a card should suffice, it's the thoughtful gesture that should matter, not how much you spend.

So annoying! I'm sorry on your behalf that you have such presumptuous coworkers.

I say stock up on cards and practice begging off because you are saving money for your wedding.

But it sucks you are forced to do that at all.

I agree with the card idea. Those 99 cent cards are a lifesaver, just write a quick note in the card and it will be enough. As for the woman chasing down the coworkers that haven't paid.. how rude, especially in a large office, where clearly everyone isn't on the closest terms, and she can't be aware of everyone's financial situation.

Just give a card! This co workers thing does not happen where I live. In UK people are a lot more reserve. They would not feel comfortable chasing for money at work at all. If I were you I would actually tell the woman who is chasing after my money that I prefer to just to give a card as I am saving very hard for my relatives' showers and my own wedding. I would feel terrible if I were her. Hope that works!

By the way I think you should also email this woman saying you aren't comfortable with this arrangement and in the future you would prefer it if she could be flexible with this arrangement (you know not pressuring everyone to donate). I am 100 percents sure some people feel the same way as you do. This woman souds like a complete nightmare to me!

I think it is unfair as well to deligate what you have to give to this woman. I think that pitching in what you can is fair or giving a congratulatory card works as well. Def talk to the other women to sort out that you short on cash and will give what you can afford but its becoming too much!

I think the party of planner of the office need some etiquette training! How tacky to list gift options. I hate when it is on an invitation for a friend but for someone that I work with gag! Someone needs to have a chat with the party planner and let her know it is out of line in a nice way of course. I say a card is just fine especially if it is someone that you are not paricularly close to and if you feel like it $5.00 to the gift card purchase. I work for a large company (Nike) and parties are limited to the department only unless the person getting married, having a baby, or a birthday asks to include others from the company and no one is made to feel like they have to arrive with a gift or contribute in some way!