A while ago I had an affair with a married man. He and I cut it off and are now very good friends. I lean on him for a lot. I am currently in a relationship of almost two years, and I love my boyfriend very much — we started dating after I ended the affair. I never mentioned the history I have with my friend to my current boyfriend, and he only knows that our friendship has been a good one. But recently my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: my friend or our relationship. I chose my relationship. My boyfriend suspected there was more to my friend than meets the eye and he wanted him gone. He made me show him IM and email correspondence my friend and I had written to each other and now he wants me to dissolve our friendship entirely.

Before this he had been hurt because my friend had helped me out in a big way, and because we spoke on the phone nearly every day. He also has a problem with the fact that my friend is married and may have other motives. I don't dispute that, but when he asked me to cut things off there was nothing going on. I do not intend to give up my friend. How do I handle this without jeopardizing my current relationship and losing my friend too? Boyfriends come and go, but friends last forever. I don't want to dump my friend and then lose my boyfriend later. What should I do?

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