Do Tell: Are You Turned Off When He's Interested?

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Thu, 10/02/2008 - 7:00am by DearSugar

It's a fairly common dating affliction; to be turned off when someone shows their interest in you. I suffered from it back in high school, but I know many people who continuously struggle to stay intrigued once they've caught the object of their affection's attention. Of course being pursued feels great, but what I don't think people understand is that the feeling of being desired doesn't necessarily go away because you've made a connection with someone. So do you suffer from this frustrating dating pattern, or does having someone interested in you make you actually like them even more?

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Mesayme [+]

There is one guy by whom I am turned on all the time. But we live states away...I never see him, but we talk online all the time. He wants to talk sex but I don't want to talk about it. It only makes it more real that he isn't with me. And I always get the feeling that if I turn him on...some other woman is reaping the benefits...
Pass!

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 7:43am Report Comment

lizrocks [+]

I used to be like that. Up until my early 20s. Once I found out I *could* have them, I didn't want them anymore. I gave up a lot of really great guys because of that. I think I was mostly just afraid that once they got to know the 'real' me they wouldn't want me anymore.

Fortunately I started dating an old friend who already knew the 'real' me and still wanted to be with me. It was also a conscious EFFORT not to run, of course!

We'll be married 5 years in January tho so I did something right!

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 7:52am Report Comment

princess_eab [+]

lizrocks - amazing story!!

the answer to this for me is: no. if I like a guy, and he likes me, then what a great opportunity! (because I am picky.)

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 7:59am Report Comment

Mesayme [+]

Embarassed I totally read this wrong... LOL

Let me redeem myself, ahem...
I find a comfort in being intersted in a man who's equally interested in me. I don't like to play games. I don't play hard to get. If I'm not interested I'll say so right away. My dilemma is that he's either a game player or a stalker. Sucks.
I spent half my time running to one who runs away while running from the other.
I finally learned to stand still, walk slowly and hopefully I'll meet up with a guy who's walking my pace. I'm walking parallel to an old friend right now. And the one who wants to chase me can either choose to stop or walk behind me. Like lizrocks...I'm too tired to run anymore.

*I wonder if he minds that I'm holding his hand... Smiling

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 8:15am Report Comment

talanted08 [+]

I love it when a man is interested in me but I don't like to play games! When I was in high school a friend of mine would come up to me everyday informing me about this guy that wanted me to stop at his locker just to have a conversation! I was playing hard to get so final one day he got the balls to come my way! It pays off at the end for a man if they would just be up front about it but I still like the looks and gestures that you get when you play hard to get!

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 9:36am Report Comment

stumbler02 [+]

I have this problem sometimes, but it's temporary. The feeling of disinterest just comes and goes occasionally depending on my mood.

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 10:24am Report Comment

CYL [+]

Eh no if I want someone I want someone....

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 11:32am Report Comment

vmruby [+]

No.... Before I was married if I was interested in a guy then I was interested in him period.IMO it's considered game playing and I would never do to someone what I wouldn't ever want done to me.

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 11:51am Report Comment

Nitachequita [+]

lizrocks - thanks for input. I think I'm the same way and am constantly struggling with myself not to bolt and run. I'm glad to hear you have a happy ending...it gives me hope for myself!

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 12:59pm Report Comment

Alyssa9986 [+]

I fit this pattern...I'm 22 and definitely a little immature when it comes to seeing someone I want, hooking them, then just...losing interest. It's really not nice and I don't want karma to come bite me in the butt. Any advice for how to stop this?? It's completely subconscious, but I know it's taken hold once that dreaded "icky" feeling pours over me and I get completely grossed out by the thought of him.

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 1:06pm Report Comment

ilanac13 [+]

i think that it depends on the guy to be honest. for me - i've been in situations when i've lost interest when a guy showed more interest in me, but then there are the opposite cases when i've remained into a guy.

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 5:22pm Report Comment

JaimeLeah526 [+]

Definitely not. I love it most when the guy actually shows interest, it gives me hope that something might actually happen.

Sat, 10/04/2008 - 8:43pm Report Comment

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