uggg an ex did this to me too! Like, WTF! We were togetehr for almost 2 years and then boom, and e-mail saying he isn't sure about things???? Like come one! Grow up, be a man!

These are considered boy's to me b/c a real man would at least call and inform you about his feeling's/concerns. I would let time pass but I know that it may be hard at first but you have to realize that this is a cowered. Did you every think that his sister may have some influence on him! Don't call b/c your just going to make your self look varniable and that's what they want from you! Just remember he will rep what he sows!!!

Ugh. There's *nothing* wrong with you, but he's got some major hangups. There's nothing you can do in this situation except count yourself lucky. I think you dodged a bullet.

this happened yesterday so you need a little time to grieve the relationship and you will soon realize he's useless...obviously a guy who does this is not the guy for you!

Sorry to hear about this! The exact thing happened to my sister with a guy she dated on/off for a year. He had come to visit her for the weekend, talked about her moving from Iowa to Chicago to be with him, went home, and emailed her the next day saying she was a great girl she'd find a great guy but it wouldn't be him. She was devastated and the pain is reasonable to feel bc it's a horrible way to treat someone.

Give yourself time to feel better, realize obviously he wasn't worth it if he can treat u so bad this way he would do it in other ways too. It takes time to heal- it's not you it's obviously his immaturity and it's good you can see that now before having made any life changing plans for this loser. Try to spend time with friends or treat yourself to something special to get your mind off it and to start to move on.

I was gonna say the same thing as Dear Sugar! This is def like "the post it". I agree with Sug it will def bring you closure to get the last word. Although, watch your words, guys always have this way of switching things around so you look like the overreacting nut case lol.

That's tacky, but hey, at least he didn't cheat on ya. There's a positive! And I'm willing to bet the sister didn't like you...in that case be glad to be out of that family's path of character destruction (been there)... and like Dear said, file it in your 'let me tell you about this one jackass I dated' file

I'm sorry......What he did to you was extremely mean-spirited and he could have at least been an adult and handled that in person.I know you don't see it now but be thankful he's out of your life or else you might have ended up having to put diapers on his immature azz forever. Keep telling yourself that you're another step closer to the guy who is the right one for you.

I hope everything works out for you....

Dump via email. I thought dump via txt was bad. If he's 27 and can't properly call you to tell you things are not working, then definitely not worth your time... let the healing begin and know that it's not you, it is clearly him.

He sounds just like he is a douche. I agree that he's just not worth your time. It's definitely a problem with him, you haven't done anything wrong! *hugs to you!!*

What im going to say will hurt. I think (with an ex who finally explained his actions, 3 player brothers) I can really understand what happened. Its not about confrontation.

You were his backup. He has someone else in his heart.. even if that love is not reciprocated he still couldnt see you in that way. So he didnt care that much in the first place.
Meeting family and friends is non commital.... thats just life!!! You have to mix occasionally!

Hence the 4 lines. He would write an essay if he cared...

ohh and one more thing.. the second the person he wants gives him an inkling of intrest he ran.

Happened to me.. he was in love with his ex and just waiting for a chance to have her back. I met his parents, brother, friends..she sent him a birthday txt.. ((nothing more)) and he threw me away after a year without so much as an explination. He humiliated me.
6 months later they are together again.

He did it by email because he is a jerk. An immature jerk.

Don't worry about him. Just move on. Karma will come back around his way and get him.

"He refuses to discuss this in person and I am having a tough time as a result. I need a better understanding of why he would choose to break up with me by email, and why for those reasons? It just doesn't make sense to me."

Accept that he doesn't want a relationship with you. Bottom-line. Accept that his reasons are non-sensical (and probably disingenuous), and leave him alone.

Don't waste any more time and affection on this jerk.

Deal with your disappointment and distress on your own (or with your friends and family), but don't count on him. To me, he seems to have a serious character flaw, and therefore, he has no place in your life.

He's a coward, and that's the most unattractive part about him.

Yeah, you're not going to find out anymore from this douchebag; so stop thinking that you can get an explanation out of him.

Instead, definitely write him back. It's a perfectly acceptable format for you to respond back on how his actions are completely juvenile, cowardly, unattractive, and unspeakably unmanly to boot. Make sure it's no more than 4 sentences as well -- you can create maximum impact with such a short message, and he's more likely to read the entire thing without deleting. Trust me, he will feel ashamed of himself (although he certainly won't let you know about that). Then, delete his address from your contacts, as well as his phone numbers from your cell. Best to cut off all contact while you take the time to get over this.

Good luck, and you definitely deserve better!

what a douchebag

I just want to say that I too dumped my ex this way and the reason for it, it's probably more of me. For instance, I had the bad experience of breaking up with a guy in person/over the phone and it ended up being a discussion about how inadequate and dumb I am (which I know is not the truth) but the experience has been that when the guy cannot be convinced that this is all over, they want to turn the table around and make it sounded like it was him dumping you instead of me dumping him and all that put downs were not necessary. After that, I was being stalked by two different guys twice. Due to this experience, I now just do my breakups over voice mail and immediately pack my bags, change number and getting ready for a fight to protect myself. I am not saying that you would all that. But my perspective has been that by doing the post-it breakup, I would avoid, 1) put downs, 2) possible stalking and 3) all the emotional discussion with someone who I no long have any feelings to. Just my 2 cents.

Forgot to say that I am so sorry for what happened to you. I really do feel sorry but I also want to share my experience. Thanks.

Girl, I say send back an email saying 'thank you for relieving me of such foolishness' and keep it moving. Get some friends/family and ice cream/cookies/whatever and move on. You deserve not just better but the best and obviously, it's not him.

Break up is break up. My ex bf called me to his place to break up with me. He answered all my questions, gave me passionate hugs, and his sad puppy eyes, but i still had a hard time dealing with it. so dont get caught up with breaking up with you over email thing too much. I think what you are looking for is closure, which he is not ready to give. I know it's easy to say than done, but all you can do is move on.

my guess is he is afraid of committment and seeing you getting along with his sister scared him cause it was too close for him. but that is still no excuse for dumping via email- he is a coward, plain and simple, and you are better off without!

I agree Melo D...

I had an ex break up with me over the phone (we dated for over a year), I was sooooooo deeply hurt, mainly because I didnt see it coming, and I felt he shouldve had the decency to at least tell me in person...IF he had any balls!

Im really sorry about what you are going through...

you know, when i saw that sex and the city episode i really didn't think that could ever happen. so ridiculous, who treats a person they care for that way?

sorry to hear what happened to you. as others have said, he could be really immature. or, he could just be an jerk. in the long run of course it's better to find out now what he's really like. i have to wonder how he explained the end of the relationship to his sister and friends. maybe they thought you were really great and he felt pressure?

"Sorry I can't"
This guy is a coward just like Berger