You're 21. You're an adult. Your parents do not control your life.

Wow. Some of my friends on here might think you are ME! LOL Because I'm 21 and my boyfriend is in the Marines too! Anywayz, I agree with bike! You're an adult and if you really LOVE him then stand up for him! Let your parents know how much you LOVE him and how much he means to you. TRUST me I went through the same thing. My parents didn't really like my boyfriend either and they thought that maybe I was too young to know but I told them that I'm an adult and I KNOW that he might be the one for me. In the end, they [finally] agreed because they want me to be happy. 3years later we are still together!
I know it's hard right now since you can't drive but when you are physically able to finally drive you have to make a decision as to whether this guy is WORTH it or not. If yes then GO for it. It's your life and you don't want to regret or say "what if" in the future! Good Luck and Get better!

Just like the others, you are an adult, at some point parents realize you are no longer their little child and you can make your grown up decisions. But of course be smart about it, USE PROTECTION EVERY EVERY EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Then, you won't have to worry about getting pregnant - unless you want to, and therefore your mom can feel at ease so that you don't lose your insurance, however, I don't know how you would lose your insurance by being pregnant, it's possible and those companies have several loop holes...

You are an adult, yes, but you are an adult who suffered a major brain injury, is unable to drive and lives at home. There's nothing wrong with dating your boyfriend, but you need to respect your parents' wishes and take care of yourself. You don't mention anything about birth control - are you on it? Getting pregnant at your age and in your condition would be bad.

"Somehow my mom found out I am having sex with him"?

Were you even trying to hide it?

I'm in agreement with luisamapacha. You're an adult who is depending on her parents right now, and part of accepting their help is also respecting their wishes.

If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is that you need to do what *you* think is right. Listen to your heart and your gut.

It sounds to me like your parents are trying to control you instead of listen to how you feel. You are 21 (me too), so you're old enough and intelligent enough to use borth control, and what do you with the man you love is your business only.

**** He obviously cares about you if he was thinking about your health first. Your parents are obviously scared to let go of you, because they're scared of losing you and your health makes them want to grab hold tighter. They need to let go, you're 21. If you think he is right for you, keep him.

Good luck you will make the right decision, as long as you make it for yourself

i think that this is totally different from a normal situation since she is at her parents' house because of a medical reason. i agree with Luisa and Noel. though you are an adult, you still live in your parents' house. i'm sure your mom is also concerned about you having another stroke as a result of having sex. that happens and people die! have you talked to your doctor about having sex? maybe you're not even medically allowed to exert yourself like that yet. i don't see any reason for you to break up with him. granted you can't drive anywhere to see him, but there are such things as phones & video chat. how do you think you'd talk if he got stationed in a different city/country than you?

I totally agree with carak in that you should find out whether it's medically wise to even be having sex...if you are, you could use that knowledge to talk to your parents and take the necessary precautions going forward. If it's not suggested, well, you should take care of yourself first. This way, you'll get to the bottom of the real issue of whether your mom's issue has more to do with your boyfriend than you having sex.

Have a conversation with your doctor asap about this. Seriously, your doctor will tell you if you're healthy enough to be having sex or to support a pregnancy and if not, may be able to give you a timeline. Cardiac events often have a long recovery time and the rule of thumb is that you can have sex when you can climb two flights of stairs without any trouble. Also, don't feel embarrassed about asking your doctor about it, most doctors wish their patients would ask these questions. You may not be able to have crazy hanging from the ceiling sex but you may be able to tolerate more passive activity, the key is asking. Knowledge is your most important tool to make your own decisions as an adult.

Your parents are just looking out for you, chances are you are still on thier insurance (till your 25 right) and your health is still thier concern, so knowing its dangerous for you to have sex on the chance that you could get pregnant, they have every right to ask you to control yourself till you get better. If you arent mature enough to think of your health first and your libido later than i agree with them, throw in the chance of pregnancy? and they will be footing the bill for that too...so they have alot invested into telling you and him to wait and respect that.

Sorry, but based on what you've written, I've got to side with your folks. It doesn't seem like a control issue, but a concerned about you issue. If your parents are footing the bill for your insurance and health-related expenses, then I definitely believe you should respect their wishes.

If he's meant to be, you'll get closer to him whether you sleep w/him or not...

Ummm... Since when could someone lose their health insurance by having sex?

Don't fall for your parents controlling scare tactics, honey. While I agree that while you are under their roof, you should respect their wishes... I think they are control freaks.

Is there any way you can move out of their place?

Your mom is worried about you, and I would be too. You suffered a stroke at a young age. Respect your parents' wishes while you're still living in their house, even though you are an adult. Their house, their rules, no matter how old you are. Plus, they're just looking out for you.

I still stand by my first comment that parents should have no control over a person's life at 21 (aside that from a normal landlord-tenant relationship if you're living with them), but I'd like to expand a bit.

Psychobabble, a brain stroke is not a cardiac event.

I would ask your doctor first, but the stroke was nearly 6 months ago and chances are if your recovery thus far has been good, there's no reason for you to abstain. Being sexually active is actually probably GOOD for your health and recovery, rather than exerting a negative effect on it.

I would assume your parents know what a stroke is, which is why I'm surprised they're asking to refrain from having sex. Maybe have your doctor talk to THEM, and he/she can explain that it's fine.

As for pregnancy, like the other users said, use protection. Because of your stroke I would imagine birth control pills are a no-no so you're going to have to use condoms. It's a small price to pay.

Why can't you leave the house?

If you're trapped a home all day with controlling parents, they better let you have sex so you don't get depressed!!

I don't think you should break up with him if you love him. Perhaps you should cool things off until you speak to a doctor and find out if by being sexually active, you are jeopardizing your health. You need to thank your parents for their concern and assure them that you will decide what is right for you. I don't know your past relationship with your parents, but they seem controlling!

There are situations where being on the pill can increase the likelihood that people with a certain condition will have a stroke - this happened to my friend's roommate several months ago (she's still in the hospital and has lost her memory).

While I'm not sure if this is what caused the OP's stroke it would explain her parent's concern. If not it sounds like they're just reacting out of fear and concern.

I say cut your parents some slack, but make your own decisions.

"Ummm... Since when could someone lose their health insurance by having sex?"

Hahaha. The policy must be with Morality Mutual.

Their house, their rules. It's that simple. I would talk to them & maybe they would be understanding & let you date him if you promise not to have sex. I wouldn't dream of having sex in my parent's house. I know how they feel about premarital sex & I respect them when I'm at their house.

From the comments, it sounds like the original post was edited so much that any advice I tried to give would be useless.

you're an adult so you can do whatever you want. your parents are probably just worried about you because what you have been through the past few months. they are probably worried because you are having sex and they don't want anything to affect your health, and they also understand that you are in a fragile state and they probably don't want you to get upset should things in your relationship go wrong or if your boyfriend gets deployed because he is a marine. the only thing you can really do is: use condoms so that you don't get pregnant, because i'm sure the birth control is just another pill that you probbaly can't take right now because of your medical conditions and they increase the risk for strokes, and also tell them that he makes you happy.

they should try to understand since you are an adult but even if they don't you have the right to make your own decisions.

this is definitely a complicated situation, and i think that maybe you see something in your boyfriend that your parents don't and that's something that you should work on with them so they can feel more comfortable about you dating him. i wonder if he made an effort to get to know them better and vice versa so that they could see that he does care about you and respects that your parents are more concerned with your welfare and health since they've been through a lot with the worry from your stroke. i think that if he is what you want in your life right now and knowing what you've gone through, they should want to make the effort. life is short and you're old enough to decide what's best for you in this situation.

You're 21 and old enough to make your own mistakes. However this mistake would impact your parents and after four months I am not sure your marine boyfriend is likely going to want to try and father a child by his brain injured girlfriend...

You decide, none of us are in your situation.

well hun
you should know by now that youre an adult and you have to decide who you date and who you don't date...
now..
you just had a stroke
take it easy
you wont die if you dont have sex for a few months
in my opinion. health is alot more important than that right now
that doesnt mean that you have to break up with him though!

As mentioned by many others, talk to a doctor ASAP and make sure that it is okay for you to have sex. If the doctor says you shouldn't you should really respect that and refrain from sex.

If the doctor says it's okay, then tell your mom what the doctor said and you understand her concern, but she kindly needs to shove it. She should not be trying to control your life and cannot pressure your into breaking up with him. You should expressly make the point that you made here: your boyfriend was worried about sex, but YOU wanted to do it, so she can't sit there and blame him.

It may come as a shock to her, but it's really for the best. You're 21 and you clearly need to state your independence!

Your folks are just very concerned about you since you're their daughter.
Other than that, I agree with those who say, get thine ass to the doc immediately and find out if the 'strain' of sex may be detrimental for your health. If it's not, ask the doc what birth control method will be the best for you.
Then you may want to stock up on birth control too (condoms, female condoms or what-have-you).
Talk to your bf too on different ways to please each other outside sex if sex is dangerous for you. I'm pretty sure you guys can find some other alternatives to sex.

Ask your parents to understand that you love your bf and he's a great guy and you're keepin' him (it's none of their business by the way, you wanting to continue your relationship or not), and tell them that you're completely understanding with their concern but it is still your life.
I'm pretty sure that their concern is completely non-health insurance issue, it's more of 'they don't want to lose you' type.

Parents are always going to be protective of their children, and in your case your folks have every right to feel the way they do. Are they aware of the fact that your boyfriend *did* suggest that you two should *wait* before having sex, as you have pointed out in your letter? It sounds to me both your parents and your boyfriend are on the same page: wanting what's best for you. Perhaps if you let your parents know about that, they may take a different view on things. They need to know more about your boyfriend before casting a fair judgment on him - and only you can provide the bigger picture.

They are trying to protect you, that's the bottom line. They freaked out about you having sex because they are simply worried about you and yes a pregnancy right now likely wouldn't be a good thing. It drains your entire body and you are trying to heal. Maybe have him come over when your parents are there and have a talk with all of them. For a while just spend time in the living room of your house, or where you parents can keep an eye on you ya know? So they can get to know him and see what's going on for themselves, without sex to ease their fears.