TresSugar

You Asked: Should I Continue to Date Him?

Sep 29 2008 - 6:00am

Dear Sugar,

I'm a recently separated 20-something. I've been on my own for a few months now and have dated casually. About a month ago I met a guy through work, though we have virtually no contact there; we're not even in the same building. We've been hanging out regularly and I'm having a good time with him. We go out to eat, watch movies, go to bars; just normal stuff. I do have two issues though. First, I'm afraid that he drinks too much. Normally, I would say to each their own, but that was one of the main reasons why I left my husband. Second, I'm starting to feel a bit smothered. When we're together, he is laid-back, but when we're apart, he texts me and wants to hang out, says he misses me, etc. Being wanted is nice, but one thing that I've learned about myself is that I need my alone time.

Basically, I feel that while I like him and enjoy spending time with him, he's not the one for me. We haven't discussed anything about our future, so is it wrong for me to continue seeing him when I know it will eventually end? — He's Convenient Constance

To see DearSugar's answer, .

Dear He's Convenient Constance,

People date each other out of convenience all the time, so while the rational side of me says no, don't just use him, the realistic side says to go for it, have fun, and see what happens! Since you're going through a divorce right now, I'm sure he knows that you're not looking for a serious commitment, so as long as you don't give him false expectations, I don't see why you can't continue seeing him.

Since there are two blatant things that bother you about this guy, I suggest talking to him about them, especially in regard to your alone time. Perhaps if he can cut back on his drinking and give you the space you need, you could actually grow to like him more. If you don't, that's OK too, just continue to have fun and take this relationship for what it's worth.

Source [1]


Source URL:
http://www.tressugar.com/2095926