After you broke up with your boyfriend you both kept in touch, and though you’re not close anymore, you’re still friendly. He recently started exclusively dating someone new who you actually know through a friend of a friend.
She’s a nice girl, and you have no hard feelings towards her, but you’re caught off-guard when you run into her and she immediately starts inquiring about your ex. She wants to know all sorts of personal details about his past including specifics about your relationship with him. You're speechless but that doesn't stop her from asking you to coffee so you can chat. It's an awkward situation to say the least so how do you handle this?
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Wow, awkward. Actually I met my ex through mutual friends and HIS ex was close friends with some of my friends, though we were never close. I'd never have asked her private details - that's totally weird. I think I'd say - sure, we can have coffee, but honestly, I keep details about past relationships private and I respect his space.
Now, if there's anything *really* bad that you want to save her from - we're talking STDs and/ or cheating - then, you should spill. Otherwise, I'd try to be friendly but firm in not discussing details. It's not fair to anyone IMO.
1Sorry, I don't do referrals.
2Awkard.. "I keep the past in the past. If you would like mroe details I would ask Jack"
3lol this happened to me...weird...
4I told her she's just gotta get to know him the same way I did
What happened between us is between us and shouldn't affect the way she sees him
"want to go for coffee to talk about JoeBlow?"
".................................no"
and that would be how i handled it. i would think she was a total freeeeeaaaaaaak if anyone ever did this!
5Fortunately, I do not drink coffee. Past is past and none or your business. That is so creepy and weird.
6I really don't know how I would react. I don't think I would tell her anything.
7I would tell her, "Sorry, I don't kiss and tell. But feel free to ask your boyfriend."
Incidently, I think it's rude of her to be inquiring about him behind his back. How immature and lame. JMHO.
8This happened to me... My ex had royally screwed my credit, so I felt obligated to tell her to NOT become financially involved with him! Of course, about 2 days later I received an email from him saying eff me, i'm evil, he was thankful he'd destroyed my credit, blah blah. I sent that to the credit agencies and had everything removed for fraud. He he! Sucka! (She's still with him, go figure.)
9The girl I am dating right now admitted to doing this with her ex and I refused to give her details about my ex so that she does not do the same with me... Really funny
10I would not tell her anything unless it was something awful and necessary (like he cheated or he stole my identity or something, but then I guess we wouldn't be friendly as the situation was presented). If the situation was reversed, my boyfriend seeking my ex, I would be so angry. There are just so many issues that come up in a relationship and it's a violation of privacy to share them after it's over.
11I had something like this happen where she sent me a msg thru myspace asking for some info. Man did I want to rat him out on his cheating ways, but alas I remained classy and didn't say much. One of my friends said I should of told her... hey... god gave you instincts for a reason!!
12LOL
13i wouldn't give them info.
unless is something bad like what happened to 0danielle0 [btw girl good job!] anywho... no info here
seems a bit pathetic... why obsess over something like that. oh... and i have no idea what the heck i would do in a situation like that. i did recently log in to livejournal to find out that my ex's ex after me was stalking my PRIVATE page and left me a loooong comment about how much she hated him. weird.
14oh... did i mention we've never EVER met, i dont even know her name or how she could have found my page.
15Simply state you would prefer not to rehash the relationship and don't have time for coffee.
16I wouldn't spill. I'm not dating this gal; I don't owe her anything. But I'm a privacy hound -- I'm not charmed when people attempt to wedge their way into my business.
If she wants the dish on her guy, she needs to ask *him* about the sundry details.
But I don't drink coffee. (Ever.) So that trite standard never works with me.
17I wouldn't say no to coffee, I just wouldn't go there to gossip and ruin their relationship. If I was friendly with the guy like this article says, I might ask him if he'd mind since we'd all probably be hanging out sometimes anyway and I'd want to get to know her. I wouldn't spill any details unless he did something major like the above posts say.
18that's never a good thing - when you know the girl that your ex is with and you get grilled. there's no good way to deal with this one. i would just tell the girl that you don't feel comfortable talking about things since your relationship is different than the one that she has with him and that's part of why she's with him ...that not everything that you experienced or know is something that she should know. it's not a mean thing, but it's more to the point that if he wants her to know details of himself, then he'll have to tell her, and if she wants to know about what he's like during certain things, then she'll have to find out on her own. we all know that we're not 100% the same with each guy that we're with, and that's part of what makes us human.
19I'd only share bad things, like cheating or STDs. Otherwise she should go elsewhere for info on him, it's not my place to tell.
20My ex cheated on me and put me at risk of STD's so I would tell her anything she needed to know like that. I would emphasize that he may have changed (he hasn't, he's dating 3 girls and had sex with a different ex over the weekend!) and that it's up to her to decide if she wants to be with him.
I wouldn't tell her anything about when we were together though, I'm not sure what there would be to tell?
21as far as i remember...oops i dont remember...really!!
22its the past
lets leave it there
My answer to going to coffee and to knowing any info would be plain and simple: no. It's done and over with, she needs to get to know him herself.
23i'd tell her that she he likes his cars fast his house clean and his woman dirty. yeee hawwwww.
24That's never happened to me. I've only experienced the girls wanting to know me and more about me. A.n.n.o.y.i.n.g.
25I would say thanks but no thanks. I don't rehash my relationships for insecure women that don't have enough balls to ask their boyfriend for information if it's that important to them!
26I have an oddly-good experience. My husband's ex (whom they have a child together) and I decided to go out for lunch one day. I could tell from past birthday parties and holidays that we kinda connected. So, we have become awesome friends, and we have spoken about the past relationship, but it definitely wasn't awkward. I guess you could say we were both "adult" about it, and ultimately wanted to get along for the kids.
27I should clarify that we don't talk about our personal details. That is somewhere we just don't need to go.
28oooooooooooh i was about to ask kythera!
29that'll be creepy
yeah that would be...awkward. I would probably say I'm not exactly comfortable with that just yet...
30My response "Would LOVE to go to lunch with you, but not to discuss him. That's off limits. I don't kiss and tell and I don't think he'd like that you want to."
That'll shut her up.
31My ex was a lying, emotionally abusive cheater, so if a girl he was presently dating approached me, I would tell her all about his rotten ways! I wish someone would have done the same for me before I wasted almost 4 years of my life on him!
32this incident happened to me couple days ago.
33my ex new gf was stalking me on facebook.
she wrote me a message saying she wanted to get to know him better through me. which is weird.
so i wrote my ex an email in which i havent spoken to in years .and told him that his new gf is stalking me and is snooping behind his back
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