Every girl has that guy that she just can't get over.
I know I have mine.
No matter who I am dating or talking with at the time, if he decides he wants to hang out with me..i'm always right there.
He's gorgeous...and funny...and he's always had a thing for me, but the problem is, his problem with commitment.
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As long as I've known him, he has not had a girlfriend. He dated a girl earlier in the year, but as soon as he talked to me one night and I "accidentally" said that he could do better and he knew it...he was done with her.
It's the way he looks at me.
It gives him away.
I know that he wants to be with me, and I'm not being cocky, it's just the feeling that I know we both have when we are together.
I know you might be thinking that he is just using me, but I'm not giving anything up to him.
This might sound stupid, but one night when we were drunk we had a long talk...he ended up confessing that he finally wants a girlfriend and he also said that he would never date a girl that he couldn't see himself marrying...he mentioned that was the reason this girl he had been dating wasn't going to work out. In the next breath, he turned..looked at me..and said..you know, we will get married one day.
I know this was all drunk talk...but don't people usually say what they mean when they are drunk.
My roommate knows the whole story of the two of us and is convinced that we are both secretly in love with each other.
Why can't he commit...and if he can tell me these things..why aren't I the one for him?
What's wrong with guys and what's wrong with me for not being able to get over him!!!
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Labour Of Love
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I'm wondering why the hooking up now and then isn't jumpstarting you two giving it another try? Not sure about that.
And I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but we all seem to have a guy we think we're going to marry but don't. So I say, if he's not calling and making moves towards more than a hook up now and then, keep on living your life.
1oh...
...and dont try to insult
...our friends
...and family
babe : )
but you are very pretty...
2Guys also tend to say a lot of what you want to hear when you are drunk....especially when they haven't gotten anything from you yet. Pull out all of the stops, like the "i love you" or "we are going to get married" this guy sounds like classic player. trust me, he would have a girlfriend if he wanted one.
3I agree. If he wanted to be in a relationship with you then it would have happened already. Have you told him how you feel? I'm sorry but if he can't commit - I really don't think there is anything else for you. That is HIS problem. There is no reason to stop your life for someone who doesn't want to make the commitment. It sounds like he's all talk. Move on and don't let him waste any more of your time.
4Funny because I'd started reading Leo Tolstoy's Family Happiness today. From a flash view of the guy you're describing, he faintly reminds me of Sergei Mikhailych and his early relationship with Marya.
In Sergei Mikhailych's hesitance to actually tell Marya he loves her, he squanders to explain why a man "Cannot and ought not to say that he loves." He continues to beat around the bush, finally saying "Every man has his own way of telling things. And where there's feeling it finds expression."
Further in Tolstoy's novella, Sergei Mikhailych at dinner indirectly confesses to Marya through her confidant Katya that he is leaving for Moscow. "As he said this he looked at Katya, but then glanced stealthily at me, and I saw that he was afraid he would detect emotion in my face."
After the dinner, Sergei Mikhailych and Marya talk along the verandah. Their conversation was nothing more than a dance around what they both wanted to say to each other, but haven't for fear that the other won't reciprocate.
Anyway, that's why the long drunk talk was particularly interesting to me. I don't have an answer for the situation as a whole other than to advise that you do what Marya and Sergei have done - one way or another you may want to talk to him about how you feel and see if he feels the same way. Be honest and straightforward (without being antagonizing), and expect the same from him - don't let him beat around the bush. (this may not be the best advice, but it's the best I can think of at this particular moment.)
And as for truthfulness in inebration - don't always count on that. Yes, the truth does often come out when drunk, but the meaning is diminished. There is more meaning when a person is able to say something heartfelt when he or she is clearheaded.
I hope this provides at least an ounce of insight.
5Darling he wasn' telling you the truth about wanting to commit! He probably wanted to go to bed with you. He can't commit and he won't. If you sleep with him be ready for him to ignore you or leave you for a morer beautiful woman. Don't think you can change him. Leave him alone and get yourself a nice boy who can be with someone without getting bored so easily. This boy loves women and he wants to explore as many as he can!
6If he hasn't asked you out and you haven't asked him out then how can you know how you both feel? I think you need to have a sober conversation with him where you mutually decide whether you are going to pursue a relationship together or just remain friends. If the answer is just friends then get out there and give some other guy a chance! You could be letting other great guys get away because you are fixated on a relationship that will never happen! So stop beating around the bush and just straight out get the answers you need to move on with your life.
7Ok, I totally feel you on this. It is so frustrating! You wanna be able to be aloof and not care and not be so available all the time but its so hard 'cause at the same time you do really wanna see him everytime he calls!
8Nothing is wrong with you that you can't get over him. Some people are just have that chemistry that draws you. I really don't have great advice since Im kinda in the same sit and I don't know what to do either. The only thing I have come to realise is that I can only control myself. Trying to control or worry about someone else is a waste of time. So just keep yourself open to him but keep open to other people as well. (that is kinda what he is doing anyway). Try to just relax and let things flow. Don't be too hard on yourself!
This guy is a player. There are so many charming, good looking men out there that manage to bring out the vulnerable, needy girl inside of us. The issue here is that you are letting him hurt you by being so close to something that you know is not right - he has the power and by the time you get it back and turn it around you will have seen him for the loser that he really is - and wasted all of this time. You sound like a smart girl so when you are ready you will be able to walk away and find someone worthy of your love. There are some wonderful men out there that can be just as much fun and bring out the best in you. If that is what you really want you will find it.
howitreallyis
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