Originally I was going to put "not forgive", but I used to be like that too. After a few weeks I would be totally disinterested. Talk to him, tell him about your "problem" and how he is the first man you've ever been horrible to (and you WERE horrible), and you realize that for the first time you actually cared about someone. Maybe he'll forgive you, maybe not.

No way, you totally blew it.

On the bright side, now that your behavior has finally worked against you, you're probably less likely to do it again.

Next time around, you'll make it work.

You more than likely blew it . You could try talking to him but I wouldn't get your hopes up.

Dude, he talked to you about losing his mother and then you just blew him off for doing nothing but being a great guy. You didn't even gave the guts to explain your feelings to him face to face! I'm pretty sure you blew it with this one, hopefully next time you'll know to be more mature and less self-centered when dealing with an adult relationship!

You never know until you talk to him. What have you got left to lose? It was wrong, it was a huge mistake, you fell into your old habits and lost someone you actually care for... why not try and fight for someone who "does" care for you now? Maybe he won't forgive you, or maybe he will, you'll never know until you try.

I don't see him forgiving you, especially since you just dropped him the same weekend he was a total sweetheart when you were the one who got sh*tfaced.

Like someone above said, now that your actions have actually struck you and screwed you over, you'll make a true effort to stop it.

I think you should talk to him about it and apologize. He just might forgive you -- sometimes people can surprise you. But that doesn't mean he'll want to get back together with you. Definitely talk to him, though.

Wow... I'm usually the one who is 'his world' and then gets put on the back burner when he finds more interesting subjects to entertain himself be it his career, other women, sports, whatever...
I forgave him in the sense that I didn't seek revenge but never would I trust him with my heart or life again.
Sounds like you keep entering relationships to please yourself and not considering the fact that you are affecting other's lives...and for year and years I can assure you. If you were a guy, I'd steer clear of you. That's just 'my' truth.

Commitment issues?

I feel like I can relate to this story, so I voted undecided...

Being a bad person doesn't feel good....

Girl, seek therapy - there's no excuse for an adult (I'm your age) to act out like this and hurt other people for no reason. You need to work through your issues or you'll never be happy. I think you need to let this guy go, stop dating for awhile, and see a counselor once a week to begin the process of truly working through your issues. Good luck.

You need to talk with him and apologize and come clean and f*cking grovel. What you did was really nasty, and he needs to hear from you that YOU have issues, and that it's not about HIM - or you're going to ruin a totally wonderful guy for the rest of us! I don't think you'll get back together, but he deserves at least the little respect to have an explanation of what happened.

Not forgive. If you were in high school, I may have said forgive because there's a complete lack of maturity involved in thrill-dating that relevant at that age, but you're an adult. Act like one! Do whatever it takes to realize that these actions are extremely hurtful to others and just NOT OKAY. Seek therapy if you need to.

As for this one guy, I say it's a done deal. You've hurt him enough. Let him move on to someone without any issues who can give their whole heart to him.

Why should he forgive you? You did a disgusting and immature thing. You dont deserve this man and he doesnt deserve to be put through the emotional hell you would put him through. Apologise to him if possible and the move on... and grow the f*ck up already!

Hey OP... you know as soon as he takes you back you aren't going to want him anymore, don't you?

If I were him, I would not forgive you. That shouldn't stop you from apologizing to him though - and not to get back in his pants - but because he's a human being and you treated him like sh*t.

You sound like you have a personality disorder. I'd consider seeing a shrink if I were you.

the expectation of what someone will do in the future is what they have done in the past. this is your pattern, it just played out a little longer this time. i really shouldn't take you back (no offense) but i'm betting you will find another guy who will play along before to long.

if you really want to change and actually be in a relationship, be aware of your pattern going into things next time. everyone has doubts and getting to know someone and revealing yourself can be risky and scary. that's the cost of having a relationship of any worth. and only you can decide if it's worth the cost to you.

Not forgive. You're psychologically unhealthy ("psycho"), and a perfect candidate for therapy, if you're interested in it.

That poor man wasted his time and caring on you. He made a mistake in giving you his heart. If he's wise, he would run (not walk) away from you.

So you woke up and realized you weren't feeling it anymore... But why didn't you have the decency to explain that to him, and break up with him properly? That's so...unacceptable! And childish!

If you're in your late twenties, and still having these kinds of attitudes, you should really consider therapy. You hurt others and it has come to a point where you're even hurting yourself, ruining relationships you don't want to see ruined.

And you should talk to him and apologize profusly! Because there's a teeny tiny chance he'll take you back, but most importantly, because it's the decent thing to do.

What the op needs is for some uncaring guy to use her a bit. Then she'll be the one acting like Alex Forrest 2.0, because someone (gasp!) had the audacity to pay her back in full.
I wouldn't forgive you, watching you pay for the consequences of your actions would be much better.

I would be surprised if he takes you back. You can aplogize but your lack of maturity completely blew it. He deserves someone that respects and appreciates all his wonderful qualities. Get some help with YOUR issues and grow-up before you think about dating anyone else.

Not forgive. You had your chance, and you acted like a dumb selfish b*tch. Hopefully he finds someone better with more tact.

popgoestheworld said what I was thinking, which is that you'd probably just repeat the same behavior with him down the road if you were able to get him to forgive you. He sounds like a great guy, and you totally blew it.

You need to leave innocent people out of your little game and work on whatever your issues are before getting involved with anyone again. It's not all about you, you know.

Okay, clearly the poster already understands she has problems. There is no need to attack with nasty comments. I thought the point of this forum was to help her and anyone else with a similar problem, not to persecute.

As for the forgive/unforgive, I have been in that position myself so I put down undecided. Being honest got us both through that situation so I would just talk to him. Good luck!

I agree with most of the people who said talk to him. I don't think its a great idea for you to be in a relationship right now, but for closer you need to talk to him. For some reason you are afraid of getting close to someone or someone getting close to you. This guy sound like a nice person and he deserve more from you then the way you handled the situation. Bring some closer and let him know it has nothing to do with him the way you behave or reacted. If you can develop a friendship with him great, but you need to learn more about why you behave in this matter before pursuing another relationship.

Live life like its your last holiday!

For the first time, you have realized you lost someone you actually wanted thanks to your leading on behavior. I guess this should be a heavy but valuable lesson learned; that your old habit is really, really bad, hurtful and could lead you to loose something very, very precious.

I chose not forgive because this is a lesson you need to learn. you screwed it up, and things are probably beyond saving with this guy. but I chose not forgive especially because I think before you even try to go near another guy you need to get some therapy, some help. the fact that when a guy is there for you, returning your feelings, the fact that that turns you off- it says something about your self-esteem. why is it such a bad thing that they like you? is it because once you have them, you feel like if they like you, they're not as good? I say this only from experience. of course, this was when I was 12. not 21. I grew out of that, grew up, but I think this is a problem you can start to fix once you realize that you actually need to do something about it.

Can you please send me his phone number so that I can call him and tell him what a b*tch! YOU ARE!!!

At least he needs an explanation that a mentally disturbed chick just dumped him...and he JUST DODGED THE BULLET!!!

Ok..the least you could have done was tell him why you weren't talking to him instead of not returning calls. I hate it when guys do that to me.

I don't think he will forgive you..but you could give it a shot...but think carefully. Are you really into him or just into him because you don't have him (as suggested in your past behaviour. If you just want the chase again...leave the poor man a lone and get a dog you can toss a fisbee and chase after all you want ...

I just want to add something... when I said look into therapy, I was 100% serious. I've been in therapy myself at difficult times in my life (most recently this summer after a hard breakup), and it's completely changed my outlook. It can really help you become the person you'd like to be. Obviously, you're unhappy with your own behavior, too. I think you can break your pattern, but it seems that at this point you need someone else to help you assess your situation. As for the guy... he deserves an apology, but he doesn't deserve you in the place you are now.

you gotta forgive yourself...

whatever ok let it go. he's moved on. you should too
i know too many people in their late 20's that are watching their best friends get married, while they drink themselves away.
i've seen it f*ck up people. you dont need that.

princess_eab I AGREE!!! btw love ur avi. ryan & rachel forever

Get counselling or you will just keep repeating this pattern! If I were him, I wouldn't forgive you, but who knows. Good luck to you.

Stop it. Seriously. And leave the poor guy alone. You've very likely already caused him enough hurt that will make it harder for him to open up to anyone else anytime soon. You're the kind of girl that makes it really hard for the rest of us to find good guys who don't have major issues. Thanks for that.

Do not forgive. I wouldn't be able to trust you again, sorry.

Sounds like you're afraid to let people in and see the real you, cus you're afraid they won't like what they see. Is that why you dump them the minute you begin to really get to know each other? Were you embarrassed when this guy saw you completely at your worst? You weren't even able to face him or talk to him on the phone! Or is it more that you don't think you deserve to be taken care of that way, that he's too good for you?
He won't forgive you, or at least he shouldn't. Learn from this and get some counseling.

He's probably never going to speak to you again no matter how many times you apologize so I would say to forgive you only because you did him a huge favor by that immature crap you pulled.Finally some very lucky girl who really deserves a great guy like that will now have a chance to be with him and treat him right ...

It's such a sucky feeling for anyone to be led on. I can only hope that some guy you really care about decides to jerk your chain in the same way because i believe then and only then,will you finally get the reality check that you so richly deserve.

And I also think you should seek some serious, heavy duty counseling as well.....

I think that you should be fogiven for your mistakes. I was the same way too, I'll dump guys like tissue paper and never hear from them again. Your man isn't going to forgive you easily; he'll feel hurt and sad at you. Just explain to him that you've made a mistake and hopefully your relationship could work out. Please learn from your repeated mistakes in your life and learn the lessons.

Girl you totally blew it, and blew it bad.
There are 3 guys like him in the world, you had one, and broke up with him???
Listen to this and listen carefully, you DO need therapy, I agree with princess_eab. The whole chasing-guys-and-making-them-like-you-thing is a teenage thing [my best friend does that alot and gets on my nerves], but apparently you got used to it.
If you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, TALK TO HIM about it. Tell him about it. And say you're sorry [and mean it] as many times as you need to.
I'm not gonna vote if he should forgive you or not, and I'm not undecided either.
If I was him, I don't think I would forgive you because you went psyco for no reason, but I know it was a mistake so I wish you luck.

Not forgive. You treated him horribly after he was really good to you and shared something intensely personal. So, no. You made your bed, hope it's comfy.

i think that you just realized that you're growing up a bit and that this could be the real thing, and i feel like the guy should be willing to listen to you. i think that if you're able to explain yourself to him, and to let him know that you haven't had the best track record with relationships in the past, and that you got scared and pushed him away....maybe he'll be more open to seeing if there are still feelings between you. i think that it's worth the try since guys use that excuse all the time and expect us to give them another chance. he could just be upset about things since he doesn't know your side.

ilanac13
youre totally right

Not forgive. Your behavior was really immature and it's unfair to expect him to be ok with it just because you feel like this all the time. I'm glad you learned your lesson but I think you need to use your new found knowledge in the next relationship and not bother this guy.

even if you know you don't stand a chance with him, please email an apology! poor guy...
as for forgiveness, it really depends if he sympathizes with your problem, but i don't think most people do.

wow, ure SO self involved. he was a completely nice guy, who just LOST HIS MOTHER and u blew him off because of ure 'feeling'? u are so damn selfish. and u completely dont deserve a guy like that. u are just...so damn selfsih. and u know what? what goes around comes around.

KARMA IS A b*tch