When we're young, most of us know very little about ourselves, let alone what we want out of our relationships and from our sexuality. So in our earliest relationships, it make sense that we're still in the process of discovering who we are, which is why I don't find it at all shocking when people mention that one of their exes later came out. Has this ever happened to you? Has someone you dated come out as gay, or straight as the case may be, after the fact?
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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Dated Anyone Who's Turned Out to Be Gay?
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...at least, I haven't as far as I know!
1So weird this question came up today!!
Just yesterday a friend told me that her ex-boyfriend turned out to be gay about a month after they broke up.
"Do you remember my ex, Brett*?"
"Yeah, didn't he move to the Big Apple?"
"Mmhmm.. turns out he likes kissing one too"
"WHAT?!!!.....well.. are you okay?"
"What's not to be okay? He was gay AFTER we broke up."
"........."
"Oh my God. Oh MY God.......... I turned him gay?????????????"
...I still haven't found a decent answer to this.. How the hell do I convince her that it's not her fault????
2haha seraphimm, thats awesome.
Tell her that she helped him more then anything. He realized after dating such an incredibly beautiful woman like your friend that if someone as hot as her wasnt gonna make him stay straight, no woman would so he just gave up and went gay.
3Haven't actually dated anyone, but I have had multiple high school crushes that are now openly gay... I think my gaydar is defective. Lucky for me, my husband enjoys bubbies too much to go gay on me.
4We weren't "dating", just hanging out a lot together. My roomates were convinced we were going to get married. LOL...that was 10 years ago and he's still one of my best friends. OMG, I love him!
5How about No, this hasn't happened to me but it WOULD be a big deal if it did??? I am all for anyone and everyone who is gay but I would feel horrible if I found out someone I was in a serious relationship with was gay. Any kind of serious secret in a relationship is bad and I could definitely see myself thinking back and wondering a lot. After I got over the shock, I would be happy for them
6This is weird...I JUST found out that one of my high school exes is gay...it's weird to think about but we only dated for a few months -- although we were best friends for a year before that! I definitely felt kind of weird about it, but I'm happily married...why would I not want him to be totally happy, too?
7Not that I'm aware of...
8yes. the college boyfriend. the hot one that all the girls wanted to date, vice president of his fraternity and super popular (there was a reason he liked living in the house!), the one that always complimented my clothing and loved to go shoe shopping with me
he had another girl
friend after we broke up and then after his dad died he came out.
his parents were SUPER conservative-homo-phobes and HATED me because i wasn't catholic.
i googled him up the other day and he's an attorney now, very active in community service projects and recently married his long time partner. funny thing is he was always very vocal about gays, very ugly comments about them.
9No. But I probably liked a guy who was..oh wait, I heard an ole' high school boyfriend was 'on the down low' but how is that possible when everyone in this frickin' small town knows? I guess his wife doesn't care.
10I think it's sad. I'd be pissed. That's one of my worst fears... dating a man who's secretly gay. I'll be your friend if you're gay...but don't force me to be apart of your lifestyle. Not to mention the infections I could get!!! *shutter* I don't go through all the trouble wiping correctly for FUN!!
no but i dated a really hot guy who all my friends swore up and down was gay. just turned out (unbelievably) to be a virgin.
11My best friend is a gay and everyone thought we were a couple. We thought it was funny since we are in the fashion industry and literally the company we worked for you could count on one hand the number of straight guys that worked there!
12turkey... I always think that! Men who date manly women like Paris Hilton, Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel types must be attracted to men as well. They are so absent of all things female. But like Nicole Kidman is thin, but still very dainty and her face is feminine. It's just something about them that makes you wonder. Especially if that's the only type they date. Pure speculation. I don't even have a radar
13It really scares me off from dating.
My mother told me(after the fact)that she thought two of my ex's were gay. Both of them had rumors swirling around them eventually but haven't come out. One got married recently and the other married twice and is divorced. Who knows.....
14This lady at work got divorced after 30 years of marriage because her husband said he was gay! She is having a tough time with it as well as her 2 grown children.
15The boy who was my very first kiss/boyfriend turned out to be gay!
SOOO i guess technically yes, but I mean we were in like 6th grade.
16"haha seraphimm, thats awesome.
Tell her that she helped him more then anything. He realized after dating such an incredibly beautiful woman like your friend that if someone as hot as her wasnt gonna make him stay straight, no woman would so he just gave up and went gay. "
Isnt that what Will told Grace?
17I already had a sneaking suspsion my ex might be...but I never found out since I don't keep in contact with him anymore
18This sort of happened to my friend. I dated this guy in high school for a couple of years and she had this monstrous crush on his friend that persisted well beyond our relationship. Turns out he's REALLY gay. Like, My Space pictures with shirtless gay clubbing gay (seriously). I'd tease her more endlessly, but she's married now and her husband gets kind of bent out of shape about it!
19The truth is, I always knew he was gay, and he knew he was gay when he with me. Though it was never actually spoken out loud, our "relationship" was more of a way for him to figure out if he had any feelings for women. This was way back in high school, where people are rude, judgmental and vicious, especially in my small and conservative town, so he wasn't comfortable coming out, especially because his parents are the classic "damn all homosexuals to hell" type.
20Not for sure, but everyone thinks my ex is.
21my first really serious boyfriend actually came out of the closet about four months after we broke up. it didn't really bother me though and it still doesn't to this day. we're really good friends still and talk occasionally (mostly about our boyfriends haha).
22Being a huge supporter and all...i think i would still feel insecure a bit and enroll in some sex classes and read up on blow jobs or something...make sure i'm up to par.
23One of my best friends in high school ended up being gay. He's doing my make-up at my wedding now as he is a make up artist. yay!
24Does it count if we were engaged and he "thought" he might be gay and went off to London to find out if he was, and then came back to say he wasn't? Too bad I dumped his sorry ass somewhere along the way.
25had a friend who slept with a man who knew he was gay....but he wanted to see one last time to make sure he was gay....he ended up getting her pregnant...so now they have a daughter....but she is married to a great man....and he has a great partner..
26Yes!!
The humilation...
We never really dated. I fancied him a lot and we hung out a lot... we were like 15 at the time though so that's as good as dating. ;p He was in total denial until a couple of years later and then he REALLY came out.
He now performs as a drag queen at a local gay bar and has performed at my University too!!!!!! Needless to say I didn't go. ;p
27no! but i made out with a guy at a pubcrawl in highschool who is gay now
i think it would be a big deal if it was a guy who i dated seriously. i'd just feel weird about it, knowing he was never feeling the same way i felt throughout the relationship.
28No, but I did have a huge crush on someone...one day we were chatting together on Grand Central Station... I was glad to get him alone so maybe we could get closer...and suddenly he uttered a sentence with the words 'my boyfriend' in it. Thank God that happened BEFORE I made a move on him or something. YA. Pretty embarrassing.
29Yes! My high school boyfriend, the first boy I ever kissed! But it's ok... We only dated for a few months and stayed friends after the break-up. He only came out years later (last year, actually). I thought I'd be upset, but I see how much happier he is now and in a way I'm proud of him. And anyway, I always blamed myself for our breaking up, now it's like, well, if he's gay, there's really nothing I could have done that would have kept us together!
30Oh yes-just ended a 3 year relationship where I found out that he had been cheating all along with men. He still won't admit it-which makes me so sad. He just has one excuse after another for too many suspicious things. I wasn't so much upset at the cheating, but that he lied for so long, and thought I wouldn't still accept him. I hope to be as lucky as some of you guys and have a friendship with him someday.
31I dated a guy who is now one of my really close friends, and a week ago he came out. I wasn't too surprised though. It's pretty rare that a guy you date can honestly turn into a good friend.
32No, but it has happened to more friends than I can count.
33Not to me.
34i dated this guy for two weeks (ok, it was high school and we didnt nothing more but kiss) and turns out he came out of the closest like three-four weeks after we stopped dating.it wasn't like the worst thing ever but of course all my guy friends teased me about it.
35i have dated 2 guys that turned out to be gay and one of them was a big shocker to a lot of people that i'm not sure if they even believe me. there was this one guy that worked at this camp with us - he was about 10 years older than the rest of us, and he was drop dead gorgeous. it's really funny cause every girl that knew him wanted to date him yet he was really unattainable...however after a lot of hanging around as friends, i some how got asked out by him and we dated for a bit. i realized that he was gay a few weeks into dating him, and i was kind of surprised that i didn't realize it before, but to my defense, he put on this really straight aura and persona so no one knew. when my mom asked me why we stopped dating, since she knew him for YEARS and thought the world of him, i decided that it wasn't really my place to out him and i just said that there were things about him that just didn't click for me - so that was that.
it's almost upsetting when you realize that 2 guys you've dated are gay - but it's not like i turned them gay
36My first boyfriend was gay. He was gay all along, and I was the first girl he was ever interested in other than as a friend. However, it was too complicated, and I was too young to deal with it. So, we ended after dating for a couple of months. After that experience, I have this incredible gay-dar and a soft spot for hairy, messy, sweaty, and dirty heterosexual males.
37Why does the only "No" option say "but it wouldn't be a big deal"?? I'm sorry, but investing time and effort and love into someone who knows they can't reciprocate but PRETENDS they do IS a big deal.
38I've never had a boyfriend who was gay, but when I was in high school I worked with a (closeted gay) guy who I was CRAZY for. He always flirted with me and we hung out sometimes and then he took me to prom. He supposedly had a "girlfriend" this whole time, so he would never take things to the next level with me. He just kept stringing me along. NOT cool.
Well he turned out to be bi but it still manged to make an awkward end!
39omg, i think so. well my first boyfriend/love. that whole deal. we were practically best friends. we stayed pretty close & comfortable after the break up. hes got this weird obsession of having to be liked. by everyone and anyone. years later after a random hook up( i kno, i kno) he was oddly into "other stuff" also he mentioned a male coworker who always joked about kissing him and said he wouldnt mind... i dont think hes gay but possibly bi. but he'll stay closeted im sure of it. if your his girlfriend and had a great relationship, you cant be that surprised...
40omg, i think so. well my first boyfriend/love. that whole deal. we were practically best friends. we stayed pretty close & comfortable after the break up. hes got this weird obsession of having to be liked. by everyone and anyone. years later after a random hook up( i kno, i kno) he was oddly into "other stuff" also he mentioned a male coworker who always joked about kissing him and said he wouldnt mind... i dont think hes gay but possibly bi. but he'll stay closeted im sure of it. if your his girlfriend and had a great relationship, you cant be that surprised...
41I think a guy I crushed on turned out to be gay, and a guy that crushed on me obsessively for a year came out (Which makes me think it says something about ME.). I wouldn't be offended if an ex came out...I would prefer an ex or a current boyfriend to come out than cheat on me with another girl. After all, I can't compete with someone of the different sex.
42of a**
43Well, OH MY GOD.
I thought I was the only one!!!
Turns out my ex boyfriend is gay!
We dated on and off for 4 years. I remember he once told me that 'he wasn't a good person thats why we couldnt be together', and I cried soooo much about it because he wouldnt tell me why, but then we had this INCREDIBLE make-out session, [oh it was good!] and we got back together... but when we we're about to make it official, serious, tell our parents, family, friends, that we were going out, and he had proposed [without a ring. cheapppp!], he broke up with me for no reason.
A month after that, his sister called me and told me he is now LIVING with a guy. So I'm guessing he was cheating with the other dude all along..... ????
I'm glad I didn't do nothing. That'll be creepy.
ANYWAY!
yess!
my ex is gay.
I'm glad he broke up with me though, thanks to his break-up-surprise, I met the love of my life
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