The economy is terrible and your company’s taken a hit, so when you lose your job you’re devastated, but not shocked. The problem is you don’t have any prospects, no one’s hiring, and your rent is due. Your parents have deep financial woes of their own, so you can't turn to them. Your boyfriend is by no means well-off, but he currently is in a better situation than you. He’s offering to loan you money until you get a job, but you know money and romance don't mix. So how do you handle this?
Dimensione Danza
Tula
mytheresa
Take the money, pay it back when I can.
1take it and pay him back slowly if need be
2I agree ladies.
3Take it. My man wouldn't even want to be paid back though I would def offer to. That's just how he is.
4I already do this A LOT!
My bf has WAY more money then I do...so when something comes up (like ym $500 car bill cuz the radiator blew!) he paid for it and I jsut slowly paid it back.
It really didn't affect our relationship at all...
right now I owe him $300 for moving and stuff, but he NEVER pressures me for it...he knows I'll hit him back
5I'd rather just live together. I would. Because loans are hard to pay back. I'd pay what I could and he's not out any extra cash.
6I was in a financial rut before too and didn't want to go to my parents either. My boyfriend offered to loan me money to help me out and I took it. He always knows I pay him back. So I agree with the others, take it and just pay it back slowly. It didn't affect my relationship at all. I don't think it'll affect yours, he offered.
7I would go on unemployment before i borrowed money from a boyfriend.
8haha did this. My ex-fience helped buy me a car, he gave me $2,000 he ended things and now he wants his money. i know he has a right to it but if he wnats it that bad he can ask for it. he hasnt and its been a year!!!!
9I think it depends on the relationship. I got myself in some financial trouble a few Christmases ago, and my boy bailed me out. It wasn't a loan, though. He just wrote me a check and that was that. It'd be different if we hadn't already been together a couple years and lived together.
10Take the money.
11I'm in that situation now only we live together and he's been paying my rent for the last two months while I've gotten settled in. I think its a difficult position to be in but I've made it very clear that I have every intention of paying him back as soon as I can because I don't want him to think for a moment that I am irresponsible and bad with money.
12Well money and romance mix just fine. My boyfriend has loaned me a bit of money before and he's willing to do it again to help me move out. And because it will help me get a better life, he doesn't really expect me to pay him back. It's part of his 'job' as a boyfriend, he feels. So gravy, gravy!
13Awww...I hope I can meet a guy someday that is nice enough to offer!
14wow, jyramiah. he feels its his "job" why? and its not a mans DNA to feel as though he must be the provider, its our society that has put such a large job on a man
15Jyramiah, my boyfriend is the same way. He even tried to give me money to pay off some of my debt! I, of course, didn't accept -- and I've never accepted any money from him, but I've also never needed to.
One time I misplaced my paycheque and I was freaking out because rent was due, and when the bf saw me so distraught he told me not to worry about it, he would pay my share that month. I ended up finding my cheque so I was fine, but I know he really meant it so if I ever find myself in a pinch, he's definitely there for me financially.
I'd make it a last resort though. I HATE borrowing money from people -- I'd much rather just take it out of my visa or line of credit.
School247, I wouldn't criticize the "provider" role of a man so harshly. It's probably written into his DNA more than you care acknowledge. I'm sure men are more pre-disposed to the role of protector & provider by their genetics than women are. While society ultimately has the upper hand in the development of these characteristics, I'm certain there's evidence that they'd be expressed in some form or another even without significant outside influence pigeon-holing a man into the role.
16ok, im sorry if it seems i came across harsh or bitter. it makes for good conversation, would anone ever lend money to their man? why or why?
17ok, im sorry if it seems i came across harsh or bitter. it makes for good conversation, would anone ever lend money to their man? why or why?
18I know my man would lend me the money but really, I would go on EI instead of taking his money. He could help me out by buying a few groceries or a tank of gas but I wouldnt let him pay my rent.
I lend my man money sometimes, it's stuff like pay off his phone bill on my credit card and he pays me back in cash the next day... I would definitely lend my man money though I have a hard time borrowing it from him for more then a couple of days.
19Absolutely not. But then, I wouldn't borrow money from my parents either.
20A few years ago the summer before my first year of teaching, I was unable to get a short term job that would make enough money for me to pay rent and live. To top it off, school started halfway through August, but my first paycheck didn't come until the end of September. I had to get to school (30 minutes away) and set up my classroom for the first time without any money. My boyfriend and another friend loaned me money to get by. I paid my friend back as soon as possible, but ended up letting it wait with my boyfriend. The next summer we moved in together, and I covered the entire deposit on our new place as well as the first months rent, as his first year of teaching they didn't pay him the summer after the year. Now we're both squared away and getting paid year-round and we're still together! I literally would not have been able to make it if he hadn't loaned me the money.
21I borrowed $2000 from my now ex. We had an agreement that I wouldn't pay it back until a certain time. I even tried to get him to sign a promissory note but he wouldn't. He's lucky I'm trustworthy or he might not have much of a legal claim if I'd decided to hold a grudge. After the whole ordeal I will never borrow money from another non-relative.
22I dont see a problem with it. If I were to be laid off now, I would go back to temping for minimum wage and my beau would assist me where needed with petrol or a few drinks on a night out. He pays the rent anyway (he insists, so I can get my loans down), so it wouldnt be such a big deal.
And if he was laid off, we would go back to how we did it before - living off my wage only.
23I could not and would not borrow money from a boyfriend, friend, etc... I just couldn't. I wouldn't be very cautious and have a bit of money set aside for such emergencies.
24^ I meant "I would be very cautious..."
25My boyfriend pays for way more than me. I think he enjoys being able to provide. He'll pay for the shopping and we have accounts on billshare.org but he never updates it with how much I owe him for various things. He'll also pay for meals out etc. more often than not. I'll pay for things too though when I can and I think as long as I keep showing willing he'll be fine with it. ;p
I'm a grad student though and he's now working full time so we're in totally different financial positions.
26well...that's a complicated thing. i have a job, but i don't make enough money to really make a dent in things since i have my current rent and i have a mortgage on my house that i was renting out up until recently. my fiance had a job that paid a lot more than me, but he has his own bills to deal with as well, yet he's always offered to help me out with what i need to take care of. i think that if you know that you're going to some how pay him back, then it's ok. i can't say for sure that i;ll be able to pay him back in $$, but i know that some how we'll be even from all this.
27I've done this twice, and it worked out really well. What I wouldn't do: have him buy you a tank of gas, extra groceries here or there, unless it's clearly a GIFT. Because those things can add up, you lose track of whether it was a gift, or how many times it happened. So it's best to take the $500 or whatever you need, so you have something concrete to pay him back. I'm not saying that you can't accept gifts, just don't start conflating gifts with loans! It did work out well for me, but it is a bit of a blow to the pride!
28School- oh gosh I would DEFINITELY lend money to my bf! He is amazingly trustworthy and he did it for me. But I agree that statements like "it's his job to provide for me" make me a little angry. My boyfriend is a grad student. While he had the cash to make me loans that lasted a couple of months, he can't save very much money because his stipend isn't large enough, so yeah, it was important that I actually pay him back at some point. I don't think any less of him for not being able to just GIVE me the money, how could I since I was the one having financial problems!
ps- not to be judgy...but you should pay your ex back!
29I lent a former bf $1800 before and I broke things off with him shortly after. It has taken over a year for him to pay me back. I wouldn't do it again if the situation came up.
On the flip side, I was recently laid off and my now bf said that he would be willing to give me money (GIVE, not lend) if I needed it. I told him thanks, but I would hit up my parents first before I came to him... I just don't like to mix financials with relationships unless we are married.
But I guess in this scenario where the parents aren't doing so well themselves, I'd take the loan and do everything in my power to pay him back quickly. I hate owing people.
30My boyfriend and I have been dating only 6 months but he proposed to me, I said no, not yet. My boyfriend let me borrow 2000 when I really need it. It was emergency, and I need it within 8 hours. He made me sing agreement and notarized, give me couple months to pay it back. Also he stated in the agreement that he will take my sons car (worth 2000) if I don't pay him back. Also he put lean on the car (my signature notarized). I feel like he doesn't trust me at all. I kind of broke up with him. But promised to pay him each penny. He claims he loves me and that formal notarized agreement has nothing to do with our Love. What you think. I'm confused. Very confused.
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