Breaking up someone else's marriage is not good. get out of current....meet someone else all together.

so basically, you are attracted to cheaters. this is a problem.

i completely agree. you're very insecure and have extremely low self esteem that you are going to even consider these two as options. you need to walk away from both of them and work on you. be happy with yourself so the next time you do get into a relationship you will know what you deserve and thats a hell of a lot more than these two scumbags will ever be able to give you.

dump them both, find yourself a new free man! you deserve so much better for yourself!

I echo Dear completely! DUMP BOTH, relish your alone time, and most of all see a qualified therapist to deal with your bad boy issues! Learn to recognize the good ones, because it seems that you have a tendency to pick just the ones that will hurt you. I really see no other possible good advice than Dear's.

What's to say your married boyfriend won't dump you for another woman down the road?

Dump both. The first doesn't respect you, the second is cheating on his wife with you. In my opinion he's even worse -- not to mention he's a cheater, in case you decide to do what he wants...just count the minutes till you listen to "I've decided to give my marriage a second chance".

It amazes me you're still considering them as options.

Could you be any more of a hypocrite? You're complaining about your cheating boyfriend, yet wrecking a marriage at the same time. I have zero sympathy for people like you. Stop acting like a victim, realize that your actions have consequences, and take responsibility.

Wait, seriously? Neither of these relationships seem healthy or good for you. Don't get involved with the married man (who may not even end up leaving his wife or family but keep telling you he will when the time is right) and get out of your current unhealthy relationship! There is so much better out there but you can't just accept whatever comes your way.

can you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with either of these guys? are these the types of guys you envision in your dream relationship? if so, then you to seriously reevaluate your standards for yourself. if not, then get out of these relationships and find another man who is honest and treats you right! do right by him too.

Is DearSugar about nothing else but Cheaters, and the women who love them?

Note to the chick who asked this question, find yourself before you search out another man who just uses you.

I shall be quite blunt, because I feel quite agitated now actually, so sorry if I speak rudely.

I am very happy for you to leave your cheater boyfriend, he really is not good for you, I do not think I will even accept my boyfriend cheating on me once, if he is persistently in getting me back and realize his mistake, I might still consider forgiving him only once. Anyways, you should definitely leave him, no excuses for him anymore, he's not worth it.

However, for the married jerk, please... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I do agree with chocolatine, you complain about being a victim who has a jerk for a boyfriend, yet you are thinking of wrecking someone else's marriage? Being involved with such an idiot does not let you live happily. Remember, he is not divorced, so if he wants to have a relationship with you, he is also a cheating man, which should trigger your brain, would he cheat on me if I marry him? Another thing, what if he is just having an affair with you, but he will not leave his wife? He might make you pregnant promising to marry you but leave you later, either taking your precious baby away to live with him and his wife or forcing you to be a single mom or even abort your foetus!

We have all given you reasons for not being with them, so do hope you will make the correct choice and not be involved with either cheaters and live another three years with a either jerks.

P.S. Make yourself pretty and your (hopefully) ex-boyfriend regret why he did not treat you better! Live your life to the fullest, have confidence in whatever you do and get a non-cheating, superb new boyfriend!

women like you are so sad, so pathetic. stay single until you have any semblance of self-esteem and stop being so self-destructive. Find a constructive hobby that doesn't involve destroying the lives and relationships of others.

Um, as for your married BF, IF HE CHEATED WITH YOU, HE'LL CHEAT ON YOU. As for your real boyfriend, you need to lose him as well. They are both horrendous choices to be with considering both of them are cheaters -- which you are trying to escape in the first place, correct? How would being with a married man who is cheating on his wife help your current situation? It'll make it worse. Oh, and you are going down the path of all the foolish women who truly believe their married BF will leave their family for HER. That is simply not the case. I'm sorry, but even though I do not know the situation, I do know that him breaking up with his wife for you is unlikely -- what is likely, though, is that he is using you because your big breasted and willing (or whatever else, brunette, blond, you name it), and for a good time. That's pretty much it.

I think you need to walk away from both of them and get some help with your self esteem issues. There is a reason you keep trying to be with men you are choosin.

Are you kidding do you really even need to ask?

Get rid of both of them since neither one seems to have the slightest clue as to what the hell the meaning of the word faithful is.

Then straighten out your unhealthy attraction to men that aren't available to you and find yourself a better class of boyfriends.Oh and definitely stay away from other women's cheating husbands before one of them catches up to you eventually and beats the living crap out of you.

Ummm...how about being SINGLE for a bit, hmm? Are you some piece of property that just gets handed from one man to the next? Or are you a strong, independent woman that knows a bad situation when she sees one?

Dear has doled you some good advice. get out of both relationships!

someone gave awesome advice on here before, saying "he who marries his mistress leaves a position open"...don't allow this married man to break up his marriage for you, but also don't let your unloving bf who doesn't make you happy hold you down either

move along and find yourself

Jeesy creesy, NEITHER!

DONT BE A HOMEWRECKER.
MEN ALWAYS SAY THAT THEY WILL LEAVE THERE WIVES AND THAT THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH THEM AND WHAT NOT. BUT THE TRUTH IS, THAT IS THERE WIFE! WHO HAS BEEN THERE WITH THEM THROUGH THICK AND THIN.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO AND BREAK THAT UP.

IF YOUR CURRENT BF AINT CUTTING IT FOR YOU, THEN TAKE SOMETIME FOR YOUR OWN.
ITS OK TO BE SINGLE AND STILL DATE, BUT DATE SINGLE MEN.

KARMA WILL COME BACK TO YOU. TRUST.

I agree with Dear Sugar. You need to get away from both men and get your act together before you date anyone else.

OMG, are you serious? BE ALONE!!!!!!!!!! BE ALONE, BE ALONE! Wow...get some self esteem and self respect!

DearSugar said it right. Leave them both. Yeah, you need to search your heart and see what's in you to attract these men. Girl, do you have any daddy issues? Because whoa! I mean, I know I had a stint where I was with my ex for WAY too long all the while he had girlfriends and sleeping with other girls. OY! Yikes! At first I was in denial. Then, I thought I'd never find anyone better. I always thought if only he'd change this and that. Then I finally said enough and decided to change myself and went back to my first love Jesus. He did it for me (and a slew of my friends) and He can do it for you.

Leave your boyfriend. However, truthfully, I'm undecided about your married man. I need more information about his marriage, and his reason for leaving his wife.

WTF???!! What is wrong with you? Two cheaters? A jerk and married man?

You are no better than the douche who is cheating on you if you go out with a married man. Maybe even worse - you are stealing a guy from his wife. Listen, whatever happens, you WILL regret this. Married men do not leave their wives, they just say that because they get a rush onf endorphines, but they seriously just don't. And if he does, your relationship will be based of having destroyed his previous relationship, how great of a start is that?

Stay clear of both of them. If you have any self-respect, and if you want ANYBODY to respect you too. You're doing it all wrong, sister. Wake up, please - I hope you are worth better than this...

Are you freaking kidding me ??

Do you realize that you would be putting yourself in the same kind of relationship that you're already in ?? I mean, if the guy is ready to dump his wife for another woman, isn't that telling you enough about his character ??

You should just get out of both and work on your self esteem by yourself...learn to love yourself. Trust me, when you will respect yourself, you won't let these people enter your life.

if you were married and you found out your man left you for another woman, wouldn't you be devastated? hurt? maybe plot for murder (ha)? Don't be that girl. End your ties with this man, because he's married!!! It's just not right.

As for your boyfriend situation, that's up to you on whether or not you want to be with him. If you guys love each other, you can work on trusting each other again. Otherwise, you need to leave him and do your own. But don't chase after married men, and don't get involved with them either.

Dear Sugar is right...there are more than two options here. You need to get far away from both of these guys. Why would you want to be responsible for making another woman (the married guys wife) feel the way you do with your cheating boyfriend? And fyi, statistics show the married guy probably would never leave his wife for you anyway regardless of what he says.

What is wrong with you!?!?
I agree with most everyone else. How on Earth can you come here complaining about how your real bf doesn't care about you so you want to go leave him for another jack@ss cheating guy.

How can you even consider the option of helping a jerk cheat on his wife!? Have you even thought about anyone in this situation other than yourself!!

The married man is just telling you that to get you to stay with him and sleep with him anyway. He's not going to leave his wife, because that way, he gets everything he wants, he gets a family life and then he gets sex on the side from you. Why would you want him anyway!?
Be by yourself that's all there is to it.

You've been hurt numerous times by your cheating boyfriend, and I can't even feel a little bit sorry for you because you're doing something even WORSE! You're tearing apart a MARRIAGE, and that is WRONG. You need to end the harmful relationships with BOTH men, get your own life together because obviously it's a mess, and then and only then find someone who is right for you, and not committed to someone else.

Just so you know, those are not your only options in life. The decision is not between two guys, but a whole world full men that will treat you right. DON'T SETTLE!

Seriously?! I see several issues here.

A) you are cheating on your bf...
B) the man you are cheating with is married
C) Its ok to be alone!

Please don't become the type of women who can't be alone...even for a month. Please don't become that person that needs another man before they let the current go.

Take some time out to get to know who you are and what you need from a man.

You need to dump the cheater. Now that he's gotten away with it 3 times, it's not likely he'll ever stop.

DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN. OMG hon nothing could be worse for you! He'll tell you everything you want to hear just to keep you as his "piece on the side". You'll get story after story about why he has to wait to divorce her and so on.

My suggestion hon, is to dump them both and learn to like being with YOU. Learn that you are a worthwhile human being with feelings and desires, and that you deserve to be treated like a decent person.

I would also suggest seeing a psychiatrist. No, you are not crazy, but a therapist will help you learn how to avoid this type of men and what your "triggers" are.

Good luck, BUT LEAVE THE MARRIED DUDE ALONE. Please, for your own psyche!

In the wise words of Annabel Goldsmith
“When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy”

In other words, if a man cheats on another woman with you he will eventually cheat on you with another woman.

Move on and get some respect for yourself.

I say dump both.

dump them both and learn to LOVE YOURSELF.

Sigh.

lolz your dumb... take a break from dating for a while and build up your self esteem/brain cells

Hello! Why stay with ANYONE who cheats...even if it's with you.

Definitely leave your boyfriend but I wouldn't be with the married man either. I think you need time alone to think things out for yourself. Why would you want to go from one cheating man to another. I'm not saying the married man will cheat on you like he did his wife but why risk it? If you aren't even sure if you want to be with him don't ruin his life with his wife.

You seem like you're insecure and that is something you need to work through on your own or with a therapist. It's a lot easier to figure things out if you're single or in a healthy relationship, and neither of these men can provide that for you.