i think you moved in with your boyfriend for the wrong reasons. if you were having such problems with your parents you should have tried harder to resolve them (they are your parents!!!) or moved into your own place, not with your boyfriend. moving in with your boyfriend when its not a mutual decision for the relationship is always a bad idea. you should only do that if things are going so well you should take it to the next level. not you're broke, not he's broke, not you're getting kicked out of where you live or having problems with your roommate.

i'd like to know how you talked to your parents about this. like if this was a situation that you were just being extremely immature about and disregarded everything they said because they didn't agree with you.

I don't think your boyfriend should have sworn at your parents. In my book that's completely over the line and unacceptable. I actually don't blame your parents in this situation. I don't think they're going to come around.

I agree with princess_eab. Your bf should not be swearing at your father under no circumstances. It's completely disrespectful to your father and to you. I also second with carak that you are immature and moved out for all the wrong reasons. IF you had really wanted to prove to your parents that this is the man for you, you would've kept up with your end of the bargain which was do well in school like you've been doing.

*under any

Truthfully, like your parents, I see a lot of red flags in your relationship, too. So far, I think most of your decisions from choosing your boyfriend to dropping out of school (not to mention moving in with him) detrimental to your future. Look at the road you're on. Where the hell are you heading??

Also, your boyfriend swore at your Dad. Do you swear at your Dad?? Is that an acceptable way for someone to speak to your Dad? Where's your loyalty??

However, bottom line, you're 22 years old. You're an adult. Make the decisions that you most want to live with. And please, if your life becomes insufferable, please don't blame your boyfriend or your parents. You're accountable for yourself.

I agree that you moving in with him was probably the worse thing you could've done, and now by taking a break, even if it's not related to your boyfriend though it sounds like it is, you've strengthened your parents convictions that he's a bad influence on you. Then he called up your father and swore at him and like someone said, that's unforgivable.

I'm sure there are people who have wanted to cuss out their parents-in-law, but bite their tongues until they bleed because that would be disrespectful to their significant other since that's someone who they love. And the fact that he *called* him makes it that much worse. If I'm having an argument with you, no matter how big of an influence your friends/family are I'm not going to call someone who thinks I'm worthless up and cuss them out.

Instead of storming out and isolating your parents, and your boyfriend, you should've done as someone above said, talked to them, found out what their real problem was and address it. THey think you're spending more attention on his kids then your future, limit your time to see him and them to the weekends when you can relax and focus fully on them [I'm assuming he has custody of the kids and that's why it's an issue].

And if you want them to treat you like an adult you're going to have to act like one, and that doesn't mean storming away and living with a man they disapprove of, yeah you love him but in their mind this is just a rebellion. I mean, you expect them to pay for your college even after you've blatantly disobeyed them and are staying with someone who has disrespected them. The fact that you ended up dropping out after you moved in with him does not look good on you, and since they paid for everything for you it's understandable that they expect you to follow the path that they've been paying for for two years.

Aside from them thinking he's not good enough based on his college education and the fact that he has kids did they give you any other reasons? Because I think the main problem they probably have with the children is the fact that at 20 [when you first started dating him] to now you probably wouldn't be able to deal with your own child, much less someone else's and when you get into a relationship with someone their baggage becomes yours.

I have a cousin who ended up dropping out of college to help her boyfriend raise his child because she was too 'tired' to handle school plus her home life and now she's struggling to get back on track and he left her without a thanks for the help. Not saying this is your situation but I understand fully where your parents are coming from even if they didn't handle the situation well.

I can't think of any circumstance that any adjusted, reasonable man would handle a situation by calling his girlfriend's parents and swearing profusely at them, especially if he has two children of his own. It sounds like he has some anger issues.

I guess it all comes to down to your relationship with your parents and how you feel about their judgment, but I know that my dad would only let me know if he disliked a boyfriend of mine if he had serious issues with him. I've had some not-so-great boyfriends, but they were the kind of relationships where (I'm assuming) my dad knew I would just figure it for myself.

DUMP the boyfriend!

28 year old BOY.

What does he do for a living to support his two kids? Do his children live with him? How big of a father role in their life is he really playing? Do YOU hang out with his children?

It doesn't bother you in the least that he doesn't respect YOUR parents, that even you seem to want to respect?

They're probably worried you'll get knocked up and they will have to take care of your kid, because he probably doesn't make enough money to have his third child with you. (Are you on birth control? Do you know loopholes around how to live off the government if he can't take care of your child? And if your parents are like tough sh!t?) They probably want well taken care of grandkids and they only want a beautiful future for you. Why are you being so ungrateful?

Your s/o doesn't have to kiss the ground they walk on, but he shouldn't be so disrespectful to them! (It's taken me nearly 4 years to stand up to my in-laws -- and that doesn't involve cussing them out even if that's what I'd like to do.)

If you marry someone, you marry their family too. You'll marry into the mother of his children, his parents, and he will marry into your family. He probably won't even ask your father for your hand in marriage.

And I cannot begin to tell you how ridiculous you are being about not letting them finish pay for your school. I don't come from a rich family - so I'm kind of own my own out here. I mean, at 22 - my parents were kicking me out when I didn't have a place to live (ending my first marriage). My parents weren't even together at that point. I moved out when I was 17... and after that - there was no going back really. You are making some really dumb decisions.

I hope you really love this MAN.

Oh yeah, and I'm sorry but I just can't get over the fact that you're allowing him to cuss your father out. I mean seriously. I don't have the highest respect for my father, but if my MAN cussed my father out, I'd deck his fk'n lights out [before my father got to him]!

My husband dislikes my parents a lot, and I love them but don't like them, but he would never disrespect them.

If he isn't above disrespecting him now, what about when you get married, have babies?

Why doesn't he say anything about your going back to school? Does he not want you to be educated? I mean if this is a good relationship his priority should be you (well after his kids of course). He should want you to be a good role model for his children. Disrespecting your parents regardless of what they are like is absolutely not cool. These are your parents and he should have enough sense to suck up to them and prove to them that he is worth your time! Instead he has just shown that he is not.

If, under any circumstances at all, a man I was dating had the nerve to call up my father and swear at him, it would be over no matter what. Are you going to teach your daughter to tolerate that kind of behavior towards you from some dirtbag she brings home one day? That kind of behavior is not an 'incident'. It is an example of a HUGE lack of character.

I feel for your parents, and I think they did the right thing by cutting you off.

I hope you realize that this relationship is a bad decision before it is too late. If you needed time off from school, that is understandable.

You said yourself that you are an excellent student... and now you have basically dropped out and shacked up with a 28 year old guy with no education and no future.

Your parents are concerned because they don't recognize you right now. You are not the same lovely excellent student that they have known and loved for 22 years. They see that they only thing that has changed is this new scumbag boyfriend and they are blaming him.

I think you need to examine why you have made these life choices and decisions. Are you tired of working hard and doing well? Do you feel pressured because you are graduating soon? I don't think you are being completely honest with yourself at the moment and are using your boyfriend as an excuse. You need to have a real conversation with your parents and move out of the loser's house.

I'm also wondering if you're drinking or partying too much or with this guy or if he's just living it up. (It doesn't sound like you spilled it all in your letter.) I'm all about some good fun on the side when the time is appropriate, but to just up and go live with him -- I hope it's because you love him and see a real future with him.

Also, do you have a stable job? I mean, you can still play around and cut up in college when things aren't so serious. If you're used to your parents just handing you things, like it sounds like, I've got to tell you - life isn't always a party and it is tough out here. Especially for starters. (I've had to start over and over and over again. Listen to me and these girls with experience.)

speaking as the mother of 3 daughters and someone who's own mother hated my husband for the first 10 years of our marriage and caused MANY difficulities for our family; your parents are out of line. they raised you, and if they did their job you are now a responsible adult capable of making her own decisions. they won't like all of your choices but they need to back off and let you live your life. you will make some mistakes, you will make some great discoveries, you will live YOUR LIFE as you see fit.

they had their turn to choose partners. they had their turn as the primary influance in your life. now it's your turn.

the thing that bothers me the most is your parents insisting that you move home and break things off with the boy friend before they pay for your education and living expenses. that is so offensive to me. they are trying to buy your life from you, the ultimate control.

if i were you i would write my parents a note telling them that you love them and appreciate them and all they have done but that you have made your life choice and you have a family now. either they accept you and him and the kids or they don't; easy. then you will see if what they really love is you, their daughter, or the person they wanted to force you to be for their needs.

if i were you i would be furious at my parents. as for the boy friends calling your dad and going off on him; that really should have been your job, w/o the swearing.

I read what you wrote. I can tell you already know your own answer. You were raised in a solid environment. Trust your instincts. Tell people you care about them. Admit your mistakes. Follow your dreams.

Here's an idea...get a part time job and go back to school and pay your own way. Or get a student loan and pay your way through school. Plenty of people do it...sounds like you want to be treated as an adult by your parents. Well you need to act like one.

And I agree with the others...does your boyfriend see his kids? Does he pay child support? And under no circumstances should your bf have called up your dad and swore at him! Your parents love you and are concerned for your well being. Sit down with them and discuss the issue like a mature adult...

So, he cursed out your parents and you're standing by [i]his[/i] side? Geez! Since he has two kids, i doubt he could give you anything for college or for you to buy yourself a clue.
Find a job, btw.

I disagree with Lickety Split. I went through a disproved relationship with my ex in high school for 4 whole years. After starting college, I broke up with him and started dating many other guys. And, surprise, my parents cannot be anymore supportive of me dating around meeting more responsible and mature guys. I did think for years that my parents tried to control me with money. Because, even the college I wanted to go to, they told me by saying if I don't go to the college they think is the best, they would not pay for the tuition. However, now I know that they just wanted me to have a good future. Major I decided to study because of them, I realized that's my path, and all the guys I've dated since my break up with ex, they all turned out to be wonderful.

All the prejudices aside, if you can have an equally wonderful and loving man with better future, better job, and no child, why would you lower your standards?

Friends and parents can often see issues that you are over looking when the love bug bites. Since your boyfriend knew that your parents were having issues with him, I would think that someone that knew what a healthy relationship looks like, would try his best to get along with them, not aggravate the situation further by calling your dad and cussing at him. Obviously your boyfriend needs to grow up a bit...or A LOT, and you need to have an honest discussion with your parents. Get back in school too...it's hard to get back into it once you leave.

I think you’ll be running back home to mommy and daddy once you find out how expensive it is to make it in the real world.

Have you not been paying attention to the news lately? Students are struggling to even get student loans these days. You don’t even know how blessed you are to have parents who are able to pay for everything. Don’t take them for granted. And God forbid now that you are living together that you end up pregnant. What kind of life are you and this man going to have without college degrees? Your parents don’t want you to have a hard life. Cause let me tell you, that’s exactly what your headed for with a man with 2 kids and no college degree.

Does he love you and do you love him?

i completely disagree with lickety split..
is she really is a "responsible adult capable of making her own decisions" then she should get a job and pay for her own college,car and everything else her parents took care of..is she lives in their house she has to live by their rules..which she decided she didnt want to do..so she shouldn't really complain about them wanting her to move back to start heloing her out financially..
im completely siding with the parents on this one..
and the nerves he has calling your dad..no matter how much i love someone..thats a BIG No No!!

This is simple.

Your parents pay for your college.
Respect that.

Your boyfriend cussed out the parents who pay for your college.
Don't respect that.

You're a good student with a high future.
"I" respect that.

He dropped out of college and has 2 kids with hardly a future.
"I" don't respect that.

If you want respect from others.
You have to earn it.
You're parents want what's best for you.
And you're being a child by the way you're acting.
You're 22.
Act like it.

Dump the boyfriend, he sounds like a loser.

god, i would never date a guy who swore at my family

they obviously have good reason not to like him

Is your bf worth all these drama? if so, then stick with it. if not, break it off soon.

Sweetie, I cannot believe your boyfriend did that to your parents. That's straight up disrespect, and why would you want to be with a "man" who does that to the parents of the "girl he loves"? I can understand where your parents are coming from, and as much as they might have bashed him, he could have had a chance to redeem himself, despite his baggage.

I don't want to sound like an old woman, but as a 25 yr old who KIND OF went through the same situation at 21, you need to respect all that your parents have done for you in hopes that you will have a successful life. And as a parent, to see their child throw their life away by skipping a semester or two of school for a man who has a limited education and has two children AND cursed at them is like a stab in the heart.

I hope you realize what is going on. Get a heart and do something for your parents, like they've done for you for your entire life, and pick your life back up. You will regret it if you don't.

I think the reason why they want you to break it off with your boyfriend is because they think he has a bad influence on you. Clearly, he has. You're so infatuated by him that you're throwing your future away. You know how many people wish they could afford college but they can't. Since you have the financial help and you're a good student, you have a whole future ahead of you. Why waste it on a guy who doesn't know the first thing about respect?

that's definitely a tough thing - to have such adversity about your boyfriend. i think that the advice here is good - to really sit down with your parents and discuss things - don't use raised voices and really talk out how they feel about things and how you feel about things. there are times that you're just not going to agree on how you live your life but at least if you make the effort - then perhaps they can see past things.

it's also hard - cause you're probably going to want your parents in your life if you plan a wedding or have a family of your own - aside from the financial burden that you're going through - and to have then at a point where they don't want to help you or talk to you overly much - that's just not helpful to anyone...and it's not healthy for anyone.

i also think that your boyfriend really needs to learn to respect your parents - if he's swearing at your father - then that's just immature and that's not helping the situation at all. if he were to make an effort as well - that would probably help build some type of relationship with everyone.

My husbands parents were sorta like this but they are so passive-aggressive that they bought a house for us and pay our bills but still make him pay for college because we moved up here and he's not going to the college every semester because we can't afford it since he's got to work. He took one semester off and then went back for 2 years and they still refuse to pay for it even though they pay for his sister to go no matter how long she goes. They are so annoying and there really is nothing we can do about it.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 10 months now. I know its not a long time but. I have been through allot. I am 24 and I am really close to my family. All my previous boyfriend liked my parents and wanted to spend time at my house. We currently live at his moms. She is never home and its just me and him. I always want to spend time with him, but he never wants to hang out with them at all and when I want to he says "why do we always have to hang out with your family its not like we are married" My parents don't even want him around anymore and that makes me sad. I always have to make an excuse to them when he doesn't come and I'm tired of it but I really like him. Anyway my question is, is it because his parents arn't together and that his family isn't close and I'm the first girl he has ever brought home?