Dear Sugar,
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. After much thought and discussion, we decided to move in together. The first month things seemed to be going very well. We had to make obvious adjustments to each other's lifestyles, but all in all, we seemed to be managing things well. Recently, however, we have been bickering about a lot of little insignificant things and we both don't understand why these arguments never arose before. It's very frustrating. We spent two years in a long distance relationship and now that we are finally together, we are at each other's throats! Is this something that I should be concerned about, or is this just another step in the relationship that is going to take time? — Cohabiting Casandra
To see DearSugar's answer, .
Dear Cohabiting Casandra,
Since you spent two years in a long-distance relationship, it's no wonder that you and your boyfriend are having some growing pains. Going from having your own space to living with someone is a huge adjustment, so my first suggestion is to sit tight and give yourselves time to work through the kinks.
Since these arguments are over petty, insignificant things, try to keep the lines of communication open and talk things out before they blow up into something bigger — sometimes taking a step back and thinking before you speak can make a real difference. Compromise is also really important when living with someone. It's perfectly normal for you guys to get bugged by each other every once in a while — arguing from time to time is healthy and normal — but try to keep things in perspective and remember to pick your battles. If you're annoyed about him leaving dirty dishes in the sink, just ask him not to do it next time. If he is irritated that your hair is on the bathroom floor, make more of an effort to clean it up. Cohabiting for the first time takes an adjustment period, but after you figure everything out, I promise that it'll be a lot of fun. Hang in there and remember to be open and honest about your feelings and ask him to do the same.
Source [1]