Many women don't enjoy the physical sensation of sex during the first few encounters. There are a few things you can try to encourage physical satisfaction. One thing you can do if you feel comfortable is masturbation. This will help you get in touch (pardon the pun) with what you like. You can then encourage him to do more of what you like.

You can also be more assertive during intercoarse and ask him for more of the things you do like or ask him to do less of the things you don't like.

Many women actually find that foreplay has a significant influence on whether they reach satisfaction. For some this means physical, for some it is more mental, and some need both.

Bottom line is take a stand and decide what feels good to you. Making love is too wonderful to be stuck not enjoying it... on all levels!

communicate. you just started having sex and you both had little or no experience. a month isnt a lot of time to get into the groove of things. you need to be more vocal and tell him what you want and he needs to do so as well that way you can both be satisfied.

Spend lots and lots and lots of time on foreplay.

The first dozen times weren't that fun for me...but you know what they say...practice makes perfect. Know your own body and what feels good and communicate that with thim...

"We are all the same colour when you turn off the lights"

My first time had to be least climatic moment of my life...I remember thinking "is that it?" I agree with MissJulie about the communication part I didn't really communicate with any of my past boyfriends about what I wanted but now with my current boyfriend we frequently discuss what works, what doesn't, and what we are curious about...I am happy to say I am having the best nights of my life with him

Also give it time, switch up positions, and locations as well- the bedroom, shower, living room floor. Good sex will come in time and great sex soon after that!

I agree with the the other girls! Communicate more with your partner. Don't worry things will get A LOT better than they are right now.
I didn't like sex at all at first! Probably like the first 10-12 times I did it, I was like this is not fun! After that, it started to get good. Be prepared for TMI, folks!

I have 10 steps for you to make sex better:

#1 If you have never masturbated, start doing it now, because it will help you to understand your body and what pleases you, as well as making it more likely that you will orgasm during sex.
#2 Communicate all of that information to your guy, what turns you on, how you like to be touched, what makes you come.
#3. Is part of the problem that he doesn't last long enough? If it is, you need lots of foreplay first (on you). Make him give you an orgasm before you even start intercourse, then everything will feel better to you. Show him exactly how to rub your clit, and get him to go down on you, and tell him or moan loudly when he is at the right spot. Men do not understand subtlety, you have to make it obvious. Change positions often if he comes too fast, the breaks will make him last longer. Using condoms will also make him last longer. Also, don't give him too much stimulation before sex, because he will just come even faster.
#4 Get him to rub your clit the whole time during sex (or do it yourself!) and try women on top- that way you can control the depth of penetration, and the movement. Try moving your hips in circles when on top instead of up and down. Once you are really aroused, try doggy style and then rub your clit at the same time (or put a little vibrater on your clit). Also, don't even start trying to have sex until you have orgasmed at least once and are really ready.
#5 Lots of saliva (via him going down on you) and lube!
#6 Masturbate! Get some toys, have fun. One really good toy is the rabbit, or buy a little silver bullet vibrator, put it on your clit.
#7 Masturbate! You can even do it in front of him, and put his hand lightly over yours, because then he might understand how you like to be touched.
#8 Don't be ashamed of your body, your smell or anything else. Men love all of that stuff about you and are turned on by it.
#9 Masturbate! Rub your clit while you have sex. If you are embarassed, do it with you on top facing backward so he can't see or while you are in doggy style. But trust me, it will turn him on a lot to see you doing this as well as take off some of the pressure on him.
#10 Relax, try some candles, take your time, have fun!!!!!!!! :):):)

They said it all...

I remember this one guy I was so in love with, who could NOT get me to enjoy sex for the life of me; looking back, I know that what was lacking was foreplay... 12 years later, I know how to have an orgasm each and every time: I make my boyfriend play around until I've gotten to the edge at least 5 or 6 times. By the time he gets in, I'm ready for take off!

So, make him touch you. Again. And again. And again. Everywhere. For an hour. It's fun! And you get to discover great things about each other's bodies, and play all sorts of fun games, and really discover sexuality. Try it all - all the spots; and figure out what makes you tick. Be verbal, tell him when something's working, when something's not. That's what I would advise you to do. You should even skip penetration altogether for the next 3 - 5 times you have sex, and challenge him to make you come that way - see where that takes you!

Enjoy!

"While the connection during sex is good, the physical act of it isn't, specifically for me. This really frustrates him, almost to the point where he is feeling guilty."

Truthfully, I don't really understand what you mean. If YOU'RE not enjoying the physical act of sex, why is HE feeling guilty?? Are you presuming HE'S doing something wrong? The problem could be you.

Also, may I ask a delicate question? I mean no offense (as I know you have a "very" religious upbringing), but are you certain you're straight? Your post reminds of me of some people I know.

This reminds me so much of the religious couple in Forgetting Sarah Marshall who don't know how to get off and then Aldous Snow gives the dude some tips over a gigantic chess set.

GlowingMoon, I think she means she's not having an orgasm and he desperately wants to give her one. Something a loooot of couples experience, doesn't mean there's something wrong with either of them!

What everyone else said sounds good to me. I love how Janine told the OP to masturbate 4 times, ha ha.

Keep working at it within an environment of respect for one another. You'll hopefully get into a groove eventually. Vocalize what works and don't do it if it is not comfortable.

Get GOOD lubricant. Seriously, the number one source of discomfort during sex is dryness.
I tried KY for the longest time, but eventually found out that it dries me up and contains glycerin, which can contribute to yeast infections.
I bought Sliquid Silk, which can be purchased on Drugstore.com here: http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=156572&catid=682

Get the lube, use plenty, and I promise it will get better. Promise.

I would try different positions, as well as different condoms. Being on top can make a world of difference in terms of stimulation. It's important to find out what turns you on and let your partner know.

Are you sure you are relaxed enough? I'd suggest two glasses of wine for starters. Try having him pleasure you first. Make sure he touches you, never mind if he is bored or frustrated about getting his in first. It is YOUR body in need of enjoying this act with him.

(I don't mean to get too personal on you.. but if you masturbate you should know what buttons to push.. therefore you would be able to show him what to do more.)

Maybe throw in some nice smelling candles and music that you two like to make the atmosphere nice.

(A sensual lube is handy sometimes too.. a lot of newbies aren't aware of that... It can be embarrassing to buy at the store.. but just toss in a bottle in your shopping cart when you go to the grocery store. They make these great lubes with 'zing' that are amazing for women [..great for clitoral stimulation].)

Sex is suppose to be enjoyable, especially since you two waited for each other. Try not to have your expectations TOO high -- and trust me, my expectations are out there.. but not all guys know what is going on. Especially if he is new to it.

Maybe buy some books on Kama Sutra.
This one is very good:
http://www.fitsugar.com/130854

This one also -
http://www.freeonlinelibrary.info/Sex/Kama_Sutra.html

This one would be a good book for HIM to read -
http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Love-Sex-Jolan-Chang/dp/0140193383/ref=pd_sim_...

And then, I highly recommend he read this one:
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Beyond-The-Kama-Sutra-Eleanor-McKenz...
(..since it was written by a woman, and it is very informative. it is also hard to find this book, though.)

There are a lot of techniques your guy could be doing with his mouth, hands, or his penis. (You can even try sex toys, but it doesn't sound like you would be ready to go down that road yet.)

...Just try to have him read up on sex and love making with you.. Learning about what to do can teach the two of you techniques and positions toward make love making better. You could even read the books together and practice playfully. (There are a ton of other books out there to learn more with also. You might even want to pick up some books on how men think..[which can also explain to you why sex with some men can be just be downright horrific].)

It just sounds like you two are very new to this and it will probably take some time and work on both end. Not every time is going to be fantastic. It just sucks that you waited so long to get so bummed out about this. That must feel awful for you.

Lastly, I really hate to say this, but sometimes people just aren't sexually compatible. You can be completely in love with your lover's face, heart, the way that they kiss or how their body feels, the foreplay even.. but when it gets down to it.. Sometimes it's just not happening. I HOPE this isn't the case for you. It might even be that he has a different rhythm than you. (Make sure your hips are in sync... play around with different rhythms together. You can change the mood/beat/thrusting with music also.)

I really recommend he do HIS own research.. It doesn't sound like he's a studly stallion in bed.. but, honestly, there is more to making love to a woman than just him getting his rocks off. But just try to have FUN with it. Best of luck to you and your sexual adventures with him.

Karlotta, are you serious? You orgasm 5 or 6 times during foreplay EVERY TIME you have sex? How is that even possible? I would think you would both be dying for sex by then. And wouldn't you be exhausted?

I still don't think I have ever had an orgasm, either during foreplay or sex. Every time I get near one, I get scared. I'm afraid of peeing (I know that sensation is normal but I still don't like it or trust that I won't pee...even if I have just peed before sex). It also sort of starts to feel too intense, which is probably what other girls like, but I don't really like that feeling. I don't like feeling out of control.

This is probably TMI, but I have to ask a question. If it normal to be writhing all over the bed when he is playing with you? Sometimes I am moving so much he has trouble with it. And yet I still can't orgasm.

Yes, yes, I know I have to get a small round vibrator to try. And I have tried masturbating, but I don't like it. My arm really hurts the next day and it's exhausting and too much work for no result.

To the OP, just keep having sex. Try different positions and whatnot. Even though I don't orgasm, I still enjoy sex and our connection is amazing. Obviously orgasm isn't the most important thing to me, because I married him. You might be in a similar situation or you might get luckier than me in bed. Have fun trying!

When I first started to have sex I thought "what..?" It was quick, painful and just no pleasure.. the more we did it the better it became. So keep trying like all the other girls said. But as you guys do it more and more you will learn about each other's bodies and become more confertable with each other. It can also be a matter of stress which stops you from having pleasure. So when you do it, don't think about anything else than you and him. What you are feeling and what you guys are doing.

Amanda krups, that thing about peeing sensation before organsme.. that's my problem too. I can't take it and I feel like I can't hold or something it's really weird so I stop . :s its annoying. Anyone have a tip for that?

It took me YEARS to enjoy sex (I was a virgin for religious reasons until age 22) - don't worry, it gets better! I highly recommend your having an orgasm before intercourse - as part of foreplay, whether manual or oral - and have him find your G-spot with his fingers (that's what causes that sensitive "peeing" sensation). The G-spot is the key to everything, for me! Once he's stimulated you like that - post orgasm - I recommend missionary position, but with one leg curled over his shoulder so he can get a little deeper. Go VERY slowly and you MUST use lots of lubricant - I recommend Liquid Silk (can be found on Drugstore.com and Amazon.com). Have him try to aim for the middle front top of your vagina, where the G-spot is located. The rubbing on that part of you can be very, very pleasurable - make sure you go to the bathroom before you start making love though, so you won't confuse that feeling with actual needing to pee. Trust me, it's very good! My best advice is to really be open to trying different positions - from behind, the side, different versions of missionary - in order to see what hits that spot for you the very best. Be patient with yourself and remember to use a TON of lube. Tell him it hurts, if it hurts! And make sure that he works on being able to have sex for at least a few minutes - otherwise you won't get anything out of it. A lot of religious men start off coming too "early" and there's not a lot you can do about that - he needs to work on it and you can help him. Good luck!!

This comment is for AmandaKrups. I highly recommend getting a vibrator from Good Vibrations online. I never had an orgasm until I bought a vibrator (Using my hand doesn't get me the result I am after). They have ones with different intensity levels, and that makes all the difference. If the intensity is too low, I can't orgasm. As for having an orgasm with a man, it is all about the oral sex and him spending plenty of time down there.

I replied to you by blog entry -
http://teamsugar.com/user/g1amourpuss/blog/1948465

Oh, and can someone tell me why lube is so important if I'm already wet? Do you still need it anyway? What's the purpose?

Well, A, sometimes if you're going at it for too long it can start to hurt or (sometimes if you're not hydrated enough) things can just get a little uncomfortable. Certain angles or whatever. There's just something about that magical formulation that works wonders on a girl down there. Sometimes when guys are too excited, it makes it go in with much more ease. And then sometimes after having a baby it isn't so comfy to have sex for a while. (When I was pregnant, for some reason, sex was excruciatingly painful.. which was nightmare for me because I have an overly active sex drive. It was the way my daughter was positioned in me, I'm guessing. But it would take my breath [painfully] away if it went in the wrong way.. and then other times it was like oh thank god.)

Lubrication can feel much better for a man also. Depending on different times during our monthly cycle our fluids consistency changes.. so that probably feels different for a man too.

..And then if you want to skip over foreplay for a quickie, lube can come in handy. And it is very handy with children.. Sex isn't always the easiest thing to fit into a busy schedule with children... let alone sometimes foreplay.

Also it isn't always a grrreat idea to pour the lube on before anything oral, unless you're using flavored lubes. (I'm only talking about this with monogamous disease free partners. Don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting unsafe sex here. I just only get into sexually safe relationships.) For the flavored lubes, it's best just to use a tiny bit, because they usually don't taste all that great.

They also make them in little individual packets (sold at sex stores more often than CVS or what have you), which are great for if you're into risky public sex or whatever.

When I first started using it with my exhusband I thought it was so bizarre, but it just felt so much smoother during sex. I didn't want him to know, so I'd put a little on before we did anything. If any of you tend to get embarrassed by the thought of using it, you can try that also. (I remember I saw some old lady on tv do that or it was a commercial or something, lol.) But yeah, if you're man's not a lube-man, you can totally put a little on (after you pee or shower) BEFORE sex. They don't have to know.

2nd last sentence you're = your

Honestly Amanda, it really prevents rubbing, tearing and irritation, especially if your guy is big. Also, I've noticed that while on birth control I have less natural lube, and I think that's a common effect of BC. In any case, it made all the difference in the world for me since I have sensitive skin to use the right kind of lube! (no sticky lubes like Astroglide - only waterbased like Liquid Silk.)

Also, A, when Karlotta said: "I make my boyfriend play around until I've gotten to the edge at least 5 or 6 times." - I think she meant she gets to the edge of _almost_ orgasming, then finishes off with him. But, yeah, it is possible to orgasm 5-6 times though, if you have the time for it.

All of these suggestions are so great. My husband and I were both virgins when we first had sex together and I basically knew nothing. However our sex was amazing almost from the beginning bc he had read so many books and mags, etc. and totally loved making it an incredible experience for both of us. It sounds like your man is also sensitive enough to want you to enjoy it as well, so maybe encourage him to read everything he can about sex and the female body. Guys love solving problems.

All very good tips. I think the key is to EXPERIMENT. Maybe venture outside of the bedroom, if possible. Try different positions, and make sure to communicate with him when something hurts or feels good. You have to find out what turns you on and zero in on it.

Also as weird as it sounds but the temperature of the room seems to matter a lot. If you get cold, it's hard to stay wet. Make sure you are comfortable before you guys get started.