I find this all very odd...

no! it's still cheating! unless he kept trying with me and i wouldn't give him any. frankly, when a woman abstains completely from sex with her husband, what does she expect?

It's still cheating to me!

Ummm...I'm not even entirely sure that I believe sex addiction is actually an addiction. In this case, it sounds like a thinly veiled excuse for constant cheating to me.

Cheating is cheating to me, no matter what. And Janine, I feel the same way. It seems more like a lack of impulse control (or lack of the desire to control impulses) than anything else.

I think I would actually be angrier if I was cheated on and the cheater said he has a sex addiction. Get your fix from ME then. It doesn't excuse that kind of behavior.

Cheating is cheating no matter what. I agree with Janine and Jude.

Let's see, cheating is a lack of self control or care for you partner.
Hmmm...sex addiction is a lack of self control and obviously a lack of care for you partner.

What's the difference...it's just a way for immature grown up's to get away with cheating and make it look ok. It's a way for people to not have to take responsibility for themselves because it was an action they "couldn't" control. I swear it's like if you don't have some addiction or problem these days you just aren't cool, it's so stupid.

I don't equate the two. Some can keep a lid on it, some can't, it doesn't automatically mean that they're schtupping everything in sight.

its still cheating.

and i disagree with skigurl. no one has the right to cheat on someone and i think its wrong no matter the situation. if he was unhappy in his marriage and couldn't work it out so that they would both be happy (with only eachother) then its always best to go your separate ways, but to be unfaithful is horrible.

you can pass on stds, get caught by your family, or cause a bad situation with the person you are seeing and it can get dangerous. you never know. these things happen. this is not forgivable at all.

I disagree with skigirl --- cheating is wrong, even if a woman abstains completely .. in that case, the COUPLE needs to sit down together and figure out how to improve their sex life. ... abstaining doesn't get a husband the 'go ahead' to get it elseware, IMSHO

we don't know that he was cheating. he could just be masterbating all day long, who knows. i found this story VERY shocking because holloywood is such a gossip mill and you never heard about this. i wonder how long it'a been going on and what made him decide to seek treatment.

like food addiction this is something you won't be giving up, just cutting back on, how do you take "just a little", you know?

its still cheating. I think saying "Im a sex addict" is an easy out to just being a scum bag.....

I should not have posted that without saying "for MOST people" I know that being a sex addict is a real thing and that people really do suffer from it, but I think alot of times people just use it as an excuse..

i'm not saying it's RIGHT to cheat if you wife abstains completely, it's no excuse, but why would you abstain completely? that's not fair to the man! so when he strays, it's not like you can say "i just don't know why he did it!" he did it cuz you won't give him any!

This guy has been a sex addict for awhile - I remember him talking about it when the X Files began. Good thing he's getting help - I think there is a huge difference between regular cheating and addiction - he's probably been indulging in prostitutes and things like that to the detriment of his personal and professional life.

I'd consider it cheating. I believe in addictions, the importance of rehab and therapy, but I also believe you are still responsible for your actions. If I were married and my husband was an alcoholic and beat me up, I wouldn't be saying "Oh it's just a consequence of his disease. He had to beat me up. He couldn't control it." Same with sex addiction. It's great the guy is getting help, but I don't think it can excuse infidelity.

"If your significant other's cheating was a result of a sex addiction, would you be more likely to forgive him?"

Forgiveness is irrelevant.

I would cease involvement with him, regardless of whether he cheated on me because he thinks he might be addicted to sex with other people, or if he cheated on me merely because he really enjoys having sex with other people. It is infidelity, in either case.

Forgiveness will come in its own time -- but I do not have to remain coupled with him in order for forgiveness to occur.

A person can love someone, and even forgive that person for past suffering, yet still choose *not* to be romantically involved with that person.

Actually, I think there is such a thing as sex addiction. I would forgive the man, but I wouldn't reconcile with him. Sex addiction would be a deal breaker.

I'm with Janine22 and Jude C in that I don't believe in sex addiction. It's just a lame excuse for being a selfish a**hole.

Patrick Carnes, a pioneer researcher in the field of sexual addiction, asserts there are ten specific criteria of addiction:[4]

Recurrent failure (pattern) to resist impulses to engage in extreme acts of lewd sex.

Frequent engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period of time than intended.

Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.

Inordinate amount of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience.

Preoccupation with the behavior or preparatory activities.

Frequent engaging in violent sexual behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligations.

Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.

Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.

Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.

Distress, anxiety, restlessness, or violence if unable to engage in the behavior.

there probably is such a thing as sex addiction, but i also think some people just use it as a pathetic excuse.
wether or not my SO was diagnosed God Forbid, i would not be able to stay with him.

If he's sticking it some other place that she's unaware of or not comfortable with than it's cheating.

If he's just addicted to wacking it and porn and her, then I would forgive. The porn has it's time and place though. I would never allow that to go on while my daughter was awake or in the same room or whatever. She's usually with the grandparents if my husband watches it. Thank goodness my husband is much more tame than he used to be. He is so mellow now that he has a daughter. It's me that goes nuts (that's why I kind-a feel for David, if this is the real thing). I have no idea how I'm going to deal with my early-mid 30's peak.

I don't really know what to think about the sex addiction thing with him. He should be setting a good example for his children... I really hope he's not cheating (for the children and his wife's sake) and I hope the best for him!

I think addicts do a lot of destructive things to their relationships. If my husband were an alcoholic and because of that he cheated, for example, I would hope he would get help but regardless it doesn't get him off the hook by any stretch. In fact it would likely be the end.

Uh, what exactly constitutes sex addiction? There is no such thing and loving sex certainly is not a reason for cheating. I looove sex but only with my husband and vice versa. Furthermore, I do somewhat agree with skigurl. Cheating is definitely not okay but if a woman is abstaining from sex with her husband either to punish him or simply because they no longer get along, it certainly is grounds for counseling or divorce. Why should anyone have to put up with that crap? Either compromise to a happy medium or end the relationship before you decide to become intimate with someone else. There is absolutely no reason cheating should ever occur if everyone communicated more.

i dont think i believe this sex addiction dealio. I mean seriously? How would you "cure" it anyway. Pish posh, i say.

I think Sex Addiction is a crock. He cheated on his wife and wants a reason why. I would not accept this excuse from my husband. If he wants sex all the time he can get it from you and himself and get help to get it under control before he cheats. You can be addicted to anything these days.

The idea of a "sex addiction" is such a psychological, society-named cop out. Since when was being a horny toad considered anything more than a personal flaw?

well, technically, hes cheating, bc when you take the marriage"vows" one of them has to do with staying true to your partner, in good times and bad......people f*ck up when they live in a state of denial, even to themselves......when their actions SHOW things, such as discontent, unhappiness, and a whole host of other problems that no one wants to take head on, people stay in a state of denial, are unhappy/unsatisfied, and this builds up to a point to where one or both spouses end up ACTING out thier probs. through hurtful and unhealthy outlets, such as extramarital affairs, drug/ alcohol abuse, etc. It just seems to me that if i were having any kind of issue or problem, regardless of its source, the last thing i would want to do is hurt someone i love just bc im messed up. Breaking up may be hard to do, but its a hell of a lot easier on ones psyche if its done respectfully and responsibly. f*cking around is just about one of the worst ways for your spouse to find out about your problems.....not only did you end up permanently damaging or even RUINING the marriage, now you can take the pain of a non-betrayl break up and multiply it by one hundred, three times over, at least. if somethings not working, then face it head on and work it the f*ck out, or, if compromise isnt possible, split up, take your own path....walk away with your dignity and self respect.

yes, hes cheating......dont take the marriage vows if you know youre likely to break them.....even if the sex addiction is legitimate, its still cheating......drug addicts have to face shame and hurt just as much......and when they relapse, not only are they continuing to self- destruct, they are hurting those who love them the most. so, if you know youre a drug addict, you know that each time you relapse, everyone gets hurt, all over again. Thats why they tell them not to use AT ALL.....although sex addiction has its own unique set of problems, once a person is aware what is going on, they SHOULD stay away from committed relationships such as marriage, bc if they "relapse" everyones going to get hurt as well. so, like other various addictions, the addict has to change their life, in order to keep themselves, along with others, from getting hurt over and over. Accept their situation, who they are, and do whatever it takes to keep from hurting themselves and others.....in a sex addicts case, stay out of marriage, or inform your partner about your past problems and current condition.

If I was married to Tea Leoni I would end up a sex addict too. No one has said he has cheated just that he thinks he is a sex addict. Maybe Tea is just worn out from all the sex.

I have been married to my wife 16 years and I have not ever physically cheated on her. I do not like being exposed to pornographic material as it excites me too much and when I have sex with my wife my mind begins fantasizing on these women in these movies or pictures, taking my mental and sensual focus off my wife and focuses only on my own selfish sexual fulfillment. As this happens the emotional, philisopical and psycological aspects of our relationship suffers. Me and my wife's communications are very close she knows I suffer from this problem and is supportive of helping me, She give's me more sex than she would like to enjoy for her own fulfillment but she knows it helps me on my out of wack sexual drive, I do not where her out sexually as some have imagined David may be doing. I have heard that fantasization through masturbation can help, but I will tell you that will only make it much worse. The addiction becomes deeper and the communications become less and less making the addiction much greater. I believe David desire to desire his wife much more and he is not able to because of this addiction, I state this from personal experience knowing that is what I also desire.

I know my last statement is also filled with grammatical and spelling mistakes, but I wrote it quickly because you all are commenting on things you appear to not understand. And I want to stand up where it appears David is doing a good thing. By all the slur magazines, it appears up to this point David has been faithfull, I know because of this these magazines will now have all kinds of examples and stories of David's infidelities. Please remember up to now he has been clean.

Since I'm living with a sex addict, I can truly understand the difference. And YES sex addiction IS a real addiction. I work with my husband on a daily basis to help him understand why he does the things he does and you know what?? Stepping in was the best thing I have ever done for him. He hasn't seen any other women in months. No one he has ever dated has truly known the depth of his affairs and just saw him as a cheater but I saw past that. For better or worse ladies and gentlemen. We have a very satisfied marriage thanks to gods blessing and leadership.

I'm glad you posted livingalie and think that your husband is a very lucky man. I used to take a very hard line with things like this and quickly dismiss them as pathetic excuses but have myself developed a sex addiction over the last 18 months. Don't know where it came from and I've only recently recognised it as a problem.

It annoys me that so many people are so quick to judge things they dont understand and even more annoyed that some people jump out of a relationship when they hit a big bump in the road.... whether its cheating or anything else, PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES and, as said above, most things can be sorted out with communication. This is a really embarrassing and often humiliating thing for a person to talk about, especially when most people take the hard stance without trying to understand.

It is real and it almnost wrecks the lives of those suffering from it, take it from someone who's going through it.