DearSugar and Should I Forgive Shanda need your help. Her friend, who is in a delicate emotional state, betrayed her. Although she knows her intentions were not malicious, she's not sure how or if she should forgive her, so weigh in and tell her what you'd do.

Dear Sugar,

I met a guy about four years ago and knew almost right away that he was not boyfriend material. However, we shared a strong physical attraction and have maintained a casual relationship ever since. It has worked out well for us simply because we did not expect anything more from each other. For various reasons and despite a handful of attempts, we hadn’t seen each other in close to a year. On a whim last Friday, we met for dinner and had wonderful conversation, and I left feeling surprisingly elated, though I still knew he and I would never be anything serious. He called me the next afternoon and invited me out to his friend’s housewarming party that night. I had already made plans with a girlfriend of mine (who doesn't get out much) but we decided to go together.

My girlfriend just had a precious little girl about six months ago and will also be finalizing her divorce in a couple of months due to the discovery that her husband was cheating on her throughout her entire marriage. Her life got turned upside down, but I have been by her side while she’s been picking up the pieces. She's an intelligent, confident, wonderful friend who has had the unfortunate displeasure of marrying a man who made her question her entire self-esteem and life.

Back to the housewarming party. We were having a great time, and by the end of the night, since we were in no condition to drive, we decided to sleep over — that is, until I turned the corner and saw my girlfriend sitting on my guy friend's lap with her shirt up. She got up and started to mumble something to me, but I was already out the door. She called the next day full of apologies, telling me how that was the most awful thing she’s ever done to a friend, how embarrassed she is, and how I mean more to her than any "stupid guy." While I truly believe she did not have malicious intentions and understand she's lonely, I don't really feel that's an excuse for what she did.

It was a simple decision for me to say goodbye to my guy friend (who also had a lengthy excuse list), but given the reason for the failure of her marriage, how could she do that to a best friend? How do I even begin to forgive her? How can I ever trust her again? I am at a complete loss of how to handle this.

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