i definitely tend to err on the side of heartfelt as well! no one needs to get made fun of in front of everyone they love!

tacky.

i think its inappropriate.
i think the furthest it should go is about something silly, like mentioning that the groom is always late or the bride spends alot on shoes. anything embarrassing is just in bad taste.

I've never seen a "roasting" rehearsal dinner, but it sounds like something that would happen spontaneously once enough tools get liquored up, right?

Definitely not appropriate or appreciated. I think roasting instead of toasting often results in everyone at the wedding (esp bride and groom) feeling uncomfortable.

Save it for the bachelor/bachelorette party.

A heartfelt toast is what people expect, why roast someone on their special day? I've been to a few weddings where the best man really makes an *ss of himself by exposing something the groom might be embarrassed by, not something that is funny to me at all.

Humor at the expense of someone else's feelings is not funny.

As some one else said, saving the roasting for the bachelor or bachelorette party.

Though, even then I would be a little annoyed if my friends made fun of me for things I did in the past or things I still do.

There's a difference between a nasty roast and a loving toast with funny stories, though. The former is tacky, but I think the latter can be great fun. My brother's best friends told funny stories on him during the toast at his rehearsal dinner (which is a perfect place for it, since it was just close family and the bridal party) and it was entirely warm and good-natured. I wouldn't mind that at my wedding/rehearsal dinner, but I'm also pretty good at laughing at myself.

Awful, that sh*t should be reserved for bachelor / bachelorette nights.

I agree with erinridgeway. I think that funny stories would be appreciated, especially at the rehearsal dinner. That's the more intimate and casual affair -- and I trust all of my friends and family who will be at my rehearsal to share only appropriate stories (e.g. no tales of drunken debauchery). But teasing me for always tripping/spilling, goofy tales of my fiance and I, etc -- that's totally fair game. Poking a little fun is not a bad thing at all in my book. Save the heartfelt for the wedding; I just want everyone to have a good time.

If someone roasts me at my wedding (someday) they will be leaving the wedding minus an arm. Light jokes are fine when woven into the heartfelt speech (by a close friend) however a full on roast speech is too much.

I agree with erinridgeway. There's a difference between nasty and loving. The nasty is completely inappropriate, and someone's rehearsal dinner isn't the time to get aggressions out hidden behind lame humor.

I don't like the roasting at weddings/rehearsal dinners b/c people will say almost anything with alcohol in the mix. A little alcohol and all embarrassing private stories come out and someone will get hurt.

I agree Sundaygreen. This isn't best the night before the wedding, you don't want to piss off the bride or groom. Have fun at the bachelorette party but keep the rehearsal dinner speeches heartfelt at least until the older folk leave. I think parents would be offended by some of the things younger people would say.

see that's one of the good things about having a smaller group of people at the rehearsal - that way you don't have to stress about what people are going to say. for myself though - i'm a bit nervous since i am having a destination wedding so that means that everyone is going to be at the dinner the night before and well...i hope that people learn to keep their mouths shut about me cause i'm easily upset about being teased.

Like everyone else, I think that a funny or laughably embarrassing anecdote is funny, but roasting crosses the line. Even if you don't offend the bride and groom, you're probably offending another guest.

Roasting is tacky. Best left to the comedians to do to themselves.