Dear Sugar,
I realize that I am supposed to cut off all ties with my ex-boyfriend, but I've broken the rules. We didn't talk for a month and I haven't seen him since we broke up, but I just texted him about my dog, whom he had cared for a great deal. My dog just got diagnosed with cancer, and my ex about this opened the floodgates for communication. We have arranged for him to see my dog without me present. We haven't talked about ourselves or our lives, it has just about the dog, but I want more. Can I use this tragic situation to my advantage? — Pining Penny
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Dear Pining Penny,
Using your dog's condition to get to your ex will certainly do the trick, but I think it would behoove you to be honest with him from the start. While I'm sure he appreciates being able to see your dog, it just seems a little cheap to use the dog as a way to get close again. If you miss your ex, just tell him! If this situation does in fact bridge the gap between you, great, but make sure he's aware of your intentions or your plan could actually backfire — he could end up resenting you for using such a sad scenario to your advantage. Like I've said a million times before, honesty is the best policy. Good luck with everything.
Naf Naf
Mantaray
Nuovegioie
I think you should be outright and be honest. It's easier anyways because if you continue with this charade, the man might just go along with being friends with you. You also need to consider why you have broken up. Hopefully, it was over something trivial and you both have learned your lesson. // My ex used my dog as leverage to talk to me again. He missed my dog dearly and asked if he could visit my dog. Anyways, I caught on right away and asked him what it was he wanted. He kept denying it but I saw through him. We're back together now. We had broken up because he hadn't been able to express his feelings to me.
1it's not bad of you to contact him under the guise of the dog, as he genuinely would want to know about the health of the animal, but as Dear said, just come right out and tell him you miss him, as opposed to just carrying on dog-related visits because eventually it will get weird for you to mention it, and he will get onto your game, and might be angry.
2flip the situation. would you be happy if a guy was using your affection for a dying dog to try and get back with you?
3thats cold...
4When a relationship is over it's over.Except it and move on.Using a terminally sick animal as a reason to weasel your way back into his life is downright cruel.I can't imagine what would motivate you in the first place to do something so underhanded.Desperate much???
5You CAN use it to your advantage, but I think that wouldn't exactly make you a very good or honest person. Personally I think thats horrible, and if I was him, and I found out what you were doing...any possible future would go straight out the window.
Sounds like you would be better off trying to start to move on, rather than trying to see what you can do to get him back...all you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.
6thats sick. your poor dog... its dying and youre trying to use this situation to your advantage?
7It's not OK to do that! I can't believe someone even has to ask!
8agreed...quite sick...I feel sorry for the poor dog
9I agree smugirl...if you have to ask if that wrong then somethings wrong to begin with.
10You are truly sick if you think using the your dying dog to try to win back your ex-boyfriend is acceptable. You need to move on and get over your ex, if he was interested he would have come to you a long time ago.
11The part about the arrangement to see the dog without her being present made me LOL. It is like a custody arrangement for a child... are you making the exchange at a local police station with a social worker as well? It is a little intense for a dog. Other than that the desperation here is a little sad...
12I think its a little sick to use your dogs condition as a way to squeeze back into your ex's life. Its sick and pathetic. Im sorry, but if you really think this is right, I hope your ex doesnt take you back.
13This post sounds like it comes straight out of a soap opera. Stop being manipulative and conniving and GROW UP!
I'd also like to second what cubadog says.
14You are disgusting. I realize that is harsh, but it is true. Who uses a dying dog to get back with a guy who clearly doesn't want you?
15I kinda hope your dog bites you.
16LMAO sarah. that's hysterical.
but i have to agree with the others..as a animal lover, i gotta say..KARMA IS A b*tch..just remember that for the future, when what went around, comes back around.
17I'm sorry but if you even have to ask, then you have problems.
18What a question! If the guy wants to be with you, he'll find a way. Otherwise just let him see your dog and let it be. I'm in a similar position with my two cats and my ex. I have to communicate with him about them but I'm not ready to see him. I assume he'd try his hardest if he really wanted more from me...
19What a question! If the guy wants to be with you, he'll find a way. Otherwise just let him see your dog and let it be. I'm in a similar position with my two cats and my ex. I have to communicate with him about them but I'm not ready to see him. I assume he'd try his hardest if he really wanted more from me...
20I know its hard to let go of someone when you love them a lot and anyway you can to talk to them you want to. But don't waste your love on someone who doesn't love you back. Don't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Please don't use your dog as an excuse to see your ex or talk to your ex. When you look back on it 5 or 10 years from now..you will regret using your dog like that and be ashamed at how desperate that action seemed. If you want him back...just talk to him and tell him how you feel, its hard to cough up the courage because it is easier to use the dog to get close and talk to him...but just be strong and courageous and you will look back and be more proud of yourself (Wow I did that..it took a lot of guts..it worked or didn't work..but I still did it).
Good luck in love hun
21You cannot be serious
22Desperate doesn't smell very good.
23I think a lot of these comments have been really harsh. Using your dog to get back with your ex isn't the greatest thing to do, but if you REALLY love this guy, I think you should grab any chance to get back with him. You should definitely be honest about wanting to get back together though, and since you already broke up once, I'd think really hard about whether getting back together is the best thing to do.
24Concentrate on your dog and his/her last few days. Then you can worry about your love life afterwards.
25i think that's sad. using your dying dog to try to get your ex back. just be honest with him. and right now at this point, you should be caring about your dog right now and it doesn't seem like you do. i agree with ehadams. concentrate on your dog right now and then your love life. "We have arranged for him to see my dog without me present. We haven't talked about ourselves or our lives, it has just about the dog" -if he doesn't want you present when he sees your dog and all he wants to talk about is your dog, then it sounds like he's already over you.
26That's just wrong. Your poor dog! Listen to DearSugar. I don't want to give you my own advice because I'm pretty disgusted. I'm sorry, I'm usually understanding, but this is not fair to your dog or him.
27that is so manipulative! you poor dog and your poor ex!
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