it wasn't your husband's fault and it also wasn't the groom's fault
it was his wedding, and he probably wasn't thinking about you as number one that day
you're being selfish, and no, you don't have a right to be insulted at all! i'm sure none of the wedding party ate with their dates. they normally sit at the head table, and that's standard procedure. you should have found other friends and had a blast on your own, and be happy that your husband is such a good friend to someone the way he was that night.
get over it, and DO NOT mention this to your husband or his buddy especially if you want to maintain any sort of friendship
he'll think you're CRAZY

I understand why you're upset. You thought the groom was a better friend to you than he turned out to be.
But the thing is, he probably just needed one last guy time moment before the honeymoon started.
Don't take it personally. The groom probably has no idea that you feel this way and I'd keep it like that. Let it go.

Yes you are wrong. The day wasn't about you and spending it with your husband it was about the groom and the bride. Chances are the groom was following the instructions of the bride. I am with skirgurl you will look crazy if you even try to approach his friend.

I have never been to a wedding that was fun, where I sat next to people I liked, where the music wasn't deafening and saturated, and where the food was good. Forget it : when you show up at one of those events (which, except for the color theme, are all formulated exactly the same - and I know what I'm talking about, I'm a wedding photographer), you must do so knowing it will be an excrutiatingly boring time spent in a horrible dress smiling at people you don't know and dancing to stuff that would kill anyone outside the hall with shame.

So what are you complaining about? Didn't you know what you were getting into, when you sent the RSVP? Don't be mad at your husband, don't be mad at your friend - be mad at the wedding industry, which dictated that a wedding day is not the day for celebrating love but for being the biggest attention wh*re you can muster.

It was just one day. A big day for the groom at that, you really should just let it go. I understand being upset if this behavior happens allll the time in different settings but it doesnt sound like they were excluding you on purpose, they were just enjoying the day and moment.

oh and by the way, "we of course got into a fight last night" is absolutely ridiculous
why would you "of course" get in a fight because your husband was obligated to help out at an event he was involved in?
common. i would hate to be married to you.

You're acting like a whiney brat IMO... Your husband had obligations to his friend that night. Of course you can't sit at the head table with the wedding party if you AREN'T IN THE WEDDING PARTY. Suck it up and get over it. I hope you don't humiliate yourself further by bringing this up again in front of your husband or his friend. They're gonna think you're a real prize.

Yeah, I would hate to be married to this person. Calm down. It was one day, and really, it wasn't your own wedding so why do you feel the total need to celebrate with your husband? He was doing a favor. Just avoid the situation; if you don't you'll appear as a psycho.

I agree with the other commenters. I have never been to a wedding where the bridal party did not sit at the head table. And this day wasn't about you celebrating with your husband; it was about the bride and groom. When you are in a wedding, it is your responsibility to be there for the couple getting married, not to entertain your spouse.

The last wedding I was in, I was a bride's maid and I had to sit at the head table along with the rest of the bridal party. Most of the bridal party that had guests had to sit in the crowd away from them. It's just how it is, besides it's only one day. It's a little bit selfish to think it's about you and not about the bride and groom.

let it go. the guy didnt do it on purpose and probably didnt know he was doing it

I'm sure you felt slighted, a lot of people would. That doesn't mean you should feel the need to express it. I say that because most people who posted already are probably right in the fact that you were not the number 1 (or even number 25) concern to the groom. If it's not your wedding then you don't have much say in what goes on that day. It's just one day where your husband hung out with his buddy on his wedding day. Who CARES? If you're getting into something that petty in a marriage then that's a bit sad if you ask me. I've been left completely alone at weddings and I've never cared because it wasn't MY WEDDING.

I guess I am the exception, but when I got married I made sure that the head table was big enough for my wedding party and their dates, I know they appreciated it, but Ive never been to another wedding where that was done. The dates hung out until the wedding party was introduced and then we all sat together.

That being said, you come across as a needy clingy person- this was not your day, it was not about you, of course they arent going to consider your feelings about where you are sitting. Good lord, wouldnt surprise me if your husband was happy that you werent sitting with him so that he could have a good time and not worry about having to keep you entertained all night. My brother's gf is like that and he flat out told her that if she couldnt handle that he would not be able to be by her side ALL day, then she shouldnt come to the wedding at all.

You need to drop it and get over it- youre simply in the wrong here.

I understand why you were upset...but it is not that big of a deal...let it go...and move on.

It was only one evening. The husband was not slighting you; he was fulfilling obligations.

Let it go. Immediately. There is nothing he could (or should) have done differently.

(Are you angry at him for something else, as well? This seems a bit overblown. Or perhaps you might be a dramatic person.)

Sass - that was a cool idea that you had for your wedding.
In general I think it's "to each is own" kind of situation. And everyone including guests and party, should try to go with the flow. Weddings are stressful.

Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, you're wrong. That's not "a recipe for disaster," it's a standard wedding, and it wouldn't have turned into a disaster had you not made such a big deal out of not getting to be by your husband's side all night. Get over it.

this is how it is at every wedding i've ever been to, it's not a matter of the groom snubbing you. move on, it's not worth getting upset about in the first place & DEFINITELY not worth getting so upset that you get into a fight with your husband & your friend.

Why would you start a fight with your husband about it? Holy shiz...he was just being a good friend!! Lay off the poor guy.

It wasn't about you, it was someone else's wedding. It sucks to be in that situation but you gotta deal and deal with some grace or else you end up being a douche. For the record I dislike receptions where the wedding party is estranged from their dates for the night. That is not cool. But that is on the couple planning their wedding to rectify.

You're definitely overreacting. You knew your husband was a groomsman, so of course he'd sit with the bridal party and have to attend to his best friend, the GROOM. It was very immature to pick a fight over it. You have the rest of your life with your husband, and he probably doesn't see his best friend as much anymore. Let them have their bonding time, SHEESH!

Skigurl, K8 Rckstr, well said. How incredibly selfish of you to expect all his attention on you when he's being a great guy and being there for his friend! I really can't believe you'd even post something like this. Seems to me that would pick a fight over something like that won't be taking our advice anyways.
Sass- I love that idea! Quite selfless to think about them on your special day!

Come on, grow up! Do you need to be glued to the hips at every event, including your husband's best friend's wedding where he has duties as a groomsman? I agree with everyone that says you're a whiny, overreacting, selfish brat who only thinks about HER feelings for a day that doesn't mean much to her. If anything, I'd feel all emotional (in a good, proud way) that your husband has a best friend who cares that much about him and wants to spend all he can with your husband on his special day.

Man, if you are complaining about where you sit for a few hours, I'd sure hate to live with you! Your poor husband! Oh, don't complain when he seats you in the restroom when he marries wife #2.

^^^Seems to me that *someone*

lol @ kristyy hahahahaha

Sounds to me like you are a little too self-absorbed. Try putting your focus on others once in a while....

if you felt ignored, then you should've left the reception.

it's still a brat move, but if i felt like that and i was at a reception where i essentially didn't know anybody else, and it was kind grid-locked (you know, where people aren't as receptive to people who aren't immediately connected to the bride), then i would've left.

I wouldn't have made a big deal, i would've found my hubby, and said that i was tired or whatever.

Is it so wrong that the poster wanted to spend time with her husband? What if she didn't know anyone else? This is why at my wedding I had my bridesmaids sitting at a table with their dates and our groomsmen sitting at a different table with their dates. This is actually one of the first things we told our friends that we would do after asking them to be in our wedding party. My husband and I sat at our own table; this is becoming very popular now.

I don't understand why the poster's husband would have spent all his time with the groom, though. My husband and I barely had any time with our wedding party because we had to keep taking photos and making the rounds. Or we were on the dance floor together with anyone else who wanted to be there. So the poster's husband should have had time to spend with her.

I don't think the poster should have started a fight with her husband about it though.

I envy the OP, as she obviously doesn't have any REAL problems to worry about.

I agree with the rest of the posts. Its not wrong to want to spend time with your husband..but its like going to a company function with your husband as your husband's date and getting mad at him for talking about business or taking care of business?

It is someone else's wedding and her husband had a job and role to play. He can pay attention to her the other 364 days of the year..but this is someone else's big day. As for not knowing anyone else....if it was me I would make friends. But that is only me. I have a pretty outgoing personality.

"It is someone else's wedding and her husband had a job and role to play."

Exactly. You don't act like a self-absorbed brat at someone else's wedding...it's just inappropriate. It's not your day.

here here! nicely put CYL!

I seriously don't see a reason why she couldn't have spent some time with her husband. Unless he was acting as part of the service crew and had to be at the groom's beck and call, i will not dismiss the op.

Come on! It was ONE night in your life that was really someone ELSE'S night! Grow up kid. I understand you would feel a little left out or upset that you couldn't even sit with him, but seriously to fight about it and then blame the groom? Grow up!

While it is fine for your husband to spend the reception with his friend, it is not necessarily okay for someone to neglect a guest they bring.

I know many of you want to seem like the laid back progressive girlfriend, but no one wants to sit alone with random people at a wedding. Her husband had an obligation to be at the wedding, but she did not and it sounds like she felt really neglected and left out. Sure she may not have handled it right, but just because they are married, it does not mean she should be fine without at least a romantic dance.

If I went to a wedding and was largely ignored and did not know anyone, I would not be happy either. If I knew that I would not be sitting with my husband or a close friend, I would decline an invitation. Weddings suck if you are one of the random people who amount to little more than a gift giver and a seat filler.

I find it odd that the groom and the groomsmen treated the wedding reception like a boy bonding session, rather than a celebration of marriage.

I recently attended a wedding alone and I had a blast. And honestly, if the groom was one her best friends, like she mentioned, she did kind of have an obligation to be at the wedding. I mean, she obviously wasn't obligated in the same way as her husband, but it's not like you are just a seat-filler at the wedding of a good friend.

true, RockandRepublic, it's never nice to be ignored or be alone, but to actually voice your concerns, get in a fight, and consider mentioning it to the man who got married? like COMMON! keep it to yourself. sometimes you can't handle your own emotions and can't help what you feel, but you can make a decision on how to act on those emotions, and this person is obviously needy, controlling, and self-absorbed

i've been to A LOT of weddings and have been the maid of honor PLENTY of times, and i never spent the entire wedding all up on the bride.

Once dinner is served, cake and toast are made, everyone is making rounds and dancing.

I've never noticed the groomsmen to be more attentive than a bridesmaid.

i can see where the OP felt sh*tty.

but this is why guys tend to NOT like weddings. they probably don't know anyone, and don't want to be stuck at a table with their finger up their a*s the whole night.

i don't think the OP should've picked a fight, it makes you look insecure.

but then again, your hubby knew you are like this, so maybe he should've prepped you better for the event.

to those who say, oh her poor husband, that is HER man and he loves her just like she loves him...spoiled b*tch and all.

to save face, i would just go back and tell him, "look, i know i went off on you at Seth's wedding. I just felt like a lump on a log."

throw in a bit of BS, "i guess i felt bad because i wanted to celebrate with you, and i just kinda got left out because i wasn't part of the bridal party".

leave it at that, and have an escape plan for the next wedding.

I agree -- you're being very immature. Are you so clingy to your husband that you couldn't do without him for ONE EVENING?? You seem pathetic.

As the groom that evening, your friend needed your husband more than you did, as your husband was HIS GROOMSMAN. Your friend had A WEDDING that day.

I guess you're unwilling (or incapable) to look beyond your neediness and clinginess. And for you to consider this a "disaster" is pitiful. I feel sorry for you.

And by boy bonding, I mean, there was a bride, family, and other guests the groom should have been focusing some attention on!

A little loving attention here and thre would not have cramped his style and I do not think wanting that makes someone a needy villain. I have never been to a wedding where the wedding party stayed exclusively to themselves, so why would her husband not have included her in a dance or SOMETHING.

It is simple courtesy. It is not as if a groomsmen has many duties while everyone is doing the funky chicken.

Im sure he didn't leave her completely alone ALL night...

and if the groom was her "best friend" too, then she must have known other guests that attended...so it couldn't have been THAT awkward...

Don't you think you guys are being a bit harsh? I'm not necessarily saying that the person in question expressed particularly good judgment but to be openly belligerent about it isn't doing anyone any good.

To the poster - the next time that you find yourself in a situation where you and your husband are separated, either because of wedding party duties or otherwise, use it as an opportunity to branch out of comfort zone and reach out to people that you don't know (regardless of the occassion). You'd be surprised the friends you can make when faced with the awkward situation of not knowing a soul.

When I was at my friend's wedding last summer, I didn't know anyone but the bride, groom, and maid of honour. It was really crazy! So I just went up to each and every person whom I thought would be interesting to talk to and said, "Hey! I'm a bridesmaid and I don't know anyone. Let's have a drink!"

Anyway, that's my advice - don't get upset or insulted over it; use it as a learning experience for what you should do the next time you're faced with separation anxiety.

Why assume she knows anyone other than the groom, his wife, and her husband? If they are all busy, then she pretty much knows no one. That isn't the point though.

Sure, some coping skills are in order, but some people are naturally introverted and have social anxiety issues. We do not know her issues, but condemning her for wanting some respect and basic courtesy is harsh. While this is not the grooms fault, I think some loving attention sporadically from her husband is not selfish or needy. It is what loving couples do!

I have been married for 8 years and we married young. We are largely independent at parties, weddings, and other gatherings, but we always meet up for a kiss, an exchange of words, a hand on a back, a smile across the room.

Marriage is about putting each other above all others. Neither person did that and so there was a fight.

She said she did not dance or celebrate with him all night, so I am taking that for face value.

I'm with cubadog and skigurl. The day was not about you and your husband being together. I'm not saying you had to have a good time at the wedding, but having a fight about it? I don't know. Sounds like you only see what you want rather than how things actually are.

"...Is it so wrong that the poster wanted to spend time with her husband? What if she didn't know anyone else? "

That is when you act like an adult and meet some new people! The poster could have had a great time mixing with other guests if she had taken her focus off of herself and concentrated on celebrating the couple!

As someone who's in the process of planning her wedding, I'm going to take posts and comments like this to heart. I agree with a lot of you that a bride and groom don't typically manipulate that much of their attendants' time. So there's probably more than meets the eye to the OP's situation. As for what I can take from this post personally -- I'm just happy that everyone of my guests and attendants know other people at this wedding! We're definitely doing a couple's table for just the two of us, and the attendants will be with all the other guests. Helps alleviate the whole exclusion issue before it can begin.

But yes, Original Poster -- you blew the situation out of proportion, and you are best to just let it go. (As for one of the first commenters, Karlotta...honey, you need to get a new job if you hate weddings that much!)

I would be mad about that bride's awful dress in that picture.

I can see how your feelings were hurt, but it was his best friend's wedding. You should have brought a friend with you if you can't handle being alone in public. (I have a friend that can't go anywhere without me. Sometimes it's like wtf _I_ want to go out alone. It is nice to mix and mingle with different people.)

It kind of sounds like you were a child left in the grocery store. It doesn't have to feel that way. Think about it from his point of view also. He might have wanted your support there even if it was from a distance. Are you sure you're not just jealous of his best friend?

AGREE...the husband shouldn't have left her alone
DISAGREE...b*tchy attitude towards husband and groom

MY CONCLUSION...needy groom=excuse to run away from needy wife.

At least with the groom the husband had fun. Are you guys having marriage issues?

g1amourpuss...THAT is the WORST suggestion EVER!!! NEVER bring uninvited guests! and NEVER ask the bride & groom if you could ad people to your invitation...that is just RUDE and horrible manners!